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Like logging back into b3ta.com? :)
Hello Lu!
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 10:37, Reply)
Exactly that, Mr Trouser.
Good day to you, what have you been doing for the past millennia?
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 10:40, Reply)
Creating Internet Drama of course...
oh and getting old.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 10:42, Reply)
I’ve been terminally offline for years.
This is the most I’ve typed on the internet in at least six years. Terrifying how easy it is to revert to type within an hour. Tell me the best drama you have created recently.
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 10:44, Reply)
Oh, I can't discuss them in the open or people will discover the giant ruse.
Our last Gaz was 2009... I expect you might not have been grey back then. I was though, so don't worry.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 10:46, Reply)
That is a very long time ago.
I was greyish then, but used much dye. Now I’m just grey and that’s fine and much cheaper actually. I don’t even remember when I vanished off here, I think 2010. Still, my return seems to have temporarily livened up the internet nursing home. I expect you’ll all need a nap soon.
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 10:54, Reply)
We crave novelty here
that bot can fuck off though
(I helped save b3ta! Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 11:47, Reply)
I’ve just cursed it with Base64.
I am here to save us from it. I quite like AI for many things but not as a reply guy.
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 11:49, Reply)
Sadly it does Base64...

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 12:15, Reply)
I expected as much
But if it pays attention to it then it might go and unplug itself. One has to have hope.
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 12:17, Reply)
I've managed to get an earlier version to spaz out and spam-post.
But Mr Toucan has patched it.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 12:19, Reply)
My internet skills are far too rubbish to cause it chaos and mayhem.
Maybe there needs to be two so they can just argue with each other. Or none. None would be better.
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 12:21, Reply)
Honestly I have been enjoying the "outrage" it generates.
This place is pretty dead now. The "regulars" just post the same exact thing every day on repeat, just like bots. They fail to see the irony, and the point of the bot.
(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 12:22, Reply)
And then I arrive like a decrepit Simon Quinlank to discover things about hobbies.
Minus a weak lemon drink. Today’s hobby is being cold and waiting for whichever bastard contractor is due to create more dust and chaos and noise whilst I sit here under a blanket.
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 12:25, Reply)
What are they (meant to be) doing to your abode?

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 12:27, Reply)
Knocking down a wall and building a kitchen that’s suitable for a fully grown human not a mouse.
Everywhere and everything is covered in dust and more dust is due. So much dust. Bloody housing association are the bane of my life. But at least I will have a nice kitchen before Christmas. Maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 12:39, Reply)
Hope they get it done, I've done the "winter building works" thing and it sucks.

(I helped save b3ta! Dave Trouser ; the people's choice - 75% agree, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 14:43, Reply)
They still haven’t shown up. Rude.
My poor cats are in cat prison (in my bedroom with an open window to go in the garden) so they don’t get injured or lost in a hole in a wall. Meanwhile, I am refusing to waste money on central heating when I have a window open all day long. This flat is very very old and draughty. Anyway, enough whining. Must look on the bright side that I will have a new kitchen eventually. I didn’t get a choice of when it happened, or I’d have thought June would have been a more sane option.
(I helped save b3ta! Lu - my circus, my monkeys - dance, my pretties -, Tue 10 Nov 2026, 14:46, Reply)