b3ta.com user CowInParachute
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This is my profile. It's a bit shit.

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» It was a great holiday, but...

It was a great holiday, but...
...I only had a picture of Avril Lavigne bearing her arse to a crowd at the MuchMusic Video Awards in a copy of Heat magazine we bought at the airport to wank over.
(Thu 21st Apr 2005, 23:53, More)

» Black Sheep

Uncle Tom
My Uncle Tom, it has to be said, is a bit of a twat. He soon met up, fell and love with and married a lovely lady. The only problem? She wasn't a moleste fan of her new mother-in-law. In fact, she downright refused to let Tom, or their children spend too much time with her. And so, my lovable dear old gran would spend every Christmas knocking on their door, handing presents to her grandchildren before being hastily shoved.

It all took a turn for the worst when she was in town, buying pointless shite like grans do, when she ran into an old friend. They talked about the weather, the price of whiskey, etc. And before they left, the conversation went along the lines of:

"Oh. And congratulations on your new grandchild."

"My new what?"

Turns out they'd had another child without informing any member of this family. The best part was that my gran really didn't give a toss anymore.
(Sat 15th Jan 2005, 0:08, More)

» Beautiful Moments

Probably when my dog started showing its affection in more extreme ways. I don't know about you, but that certainly made me feel warm and fluffy inside.
(Sat 12th Mar 2005, 1:18, More)

» Singing the wrong words

Up until very recently, I was positive that the line in Pretty Green Eyes that goes "It's alright, for your lover has come home," went differently. I suppose it was only until my girlfriend dumped me for saying "It's alright, for your lover has no nose," that it became obvious that I was a bit wrong.

Fortunately, it's a shit song anyway.
(Mon 31st Jan 2005, 23:29, More)

» Lies Your Parents Told You

Hmm. :-/
In an effort to stop me eating raw sugar, my mum told me that it would give me worms. The odd twist to this, though, was that my gran said that eating sugar was fine and that there was no problem with it whatsoever. When I told my mum that my *gran* said it was okay I never got to stay over at her house again. :-/
(Wed 21st Jan 2004, 20:04, More)
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