b3ta.com user zog
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Profile for zog:
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write to:
zog at satanicamerica dot com

look at:
http://www.satanicamerica.com/ (temporarily down)

we decided not to invite the captain over for dinner anymore.

aw, MOM! just five more minutes, PLEASE?!


hoo hoo ha ha! I got your phone, bitch!

stop it, Carey. It could stay like that.

Recent front page messages:

I knew it reminded me of something...

(Fri 28th Sep 2018, 10:51, More)

the voices in the newsletter told me to do this

sorry about the repost, but the board was spacking out so hard last
night as to be pretty much frozen for me.

(Thu 7th Feb 2008, 12:11, More)

Terror has a whole new face this year.

fp! thank you chutney ferret!
(Tue 23rd Mar 2004, 13:08, More)

fp! thank you magic violet chutney ferret!
(Mon 15th Mar 2004, 18:17, More)


(Wed 10th Mar 2004, 19:48, More)

She likes butterflies.

oh thank you thank you, magic chutney ferret!
(Thu 5th Feb 2004, 14:56, More)

screw christine.

thank you, evil eye in the sky
(Mon 15th Dec 2003, 10:58, More)

this is what eagle-headed mushrooms eat.

(see or is it?s post www.b3ta.com/board/2464228 )
whoops! an fp? why thank you!
(Tue 9th Dec 2003, 3:42, More)

he's nuts but cool

(Wed 15th Oct 2003, 2:41, More)

repost for the people who live it

(Fri 10th Oct 2003, 9:03, More)


new! now with less horns!
(Thu 2nd Oct 2003, 2:53, More)

The Corporation Theatre Company proudly presents:

"Danger From The Deep" in Three Acts

guess I'm back on the wagon
(Fri 4th Jul 2003, 20:59, More)

The new flag should reflect a bit of the country's history

hey, I know it's pretty ironic coming from an american, but hey... we're just a colony anyway, right?
(Wed 11th Jun 2003, 14:54, More)

death was having trouble

keeping his true form hidden.
(Tue 29th Apr 2003, 1:24, More)

wait wait wait!
I'm too late for the last competition! nooooo!!!

I finally got around to getting my picture taken in this scary seaside ride...

click for surroundarama

(and it took me all week to find a fucking toy shark!)
(Fri 28th Mar 2003, 18:34, More)


(Thu 6th Mar 2003, 15:37, More)

Fuzzbucket, I have appended the buzzfucket pic
to fit the events of last halloween party:

(Sun 23rd Feb 2003, 20:43, More)

I started this hours ago.

but people kept bugging me and I couldn't get it finished.
apologies if it got done while I was detained.
(Fri 14th Feb 2003, 12:50, More)

I'm crushing your head! I'm crushing your head!

(Sun 9th Feb 2003, 19:12, More)

Yo! Tha choir boyz is in tha hayows!

(Tue 4th Feb 2003, 16:34, More)

(for routine the kitty lover)
(Wed 13th Nov 2002, 1:33, More)


(Tue 29th Oct 2002, 16:09, More)

I've noticed that beard removal is underappreciated...

perhaps beard addage will go over better?
(Mon 28th Oct 2002, 18:23, More)

Despite being warned in advance,

mittens was often shocked at some of the things
she'd discover during her ongoing b3ta investigation.
(Mon 28th Oct 2002, 0:24, More)

pt II

(Sat 19th Oct 2002, 18:13, More)

when you go for your massage, ask for fernando...

he's does this thing... it's just... heaven.

(sorry munkt0n)
(Thu 17th Oct 2002, 0:35, More)

Your dessert, Mr. President.

(Wed 16th Oct 2002, 22:02, More)

Ok, Don...

You just gotta get one more strike to take us home...
(Wed 25th Sep 2002, 15:12, More)

it took me 15 seconds to make this...

and it's kept me giggling for 15 minutes.
and I don't even know why.
(Fri 9th Aug 2002, 12:29, More)

whoops! It wasn't a terrorist attack at all!
it was a clumsy tubcat!

I made this a few nights ago but didn't want to post at 2 am.
I might have posted it then anyway.
I don't think so. if so, sorry. I can't remember.

(Tue 6th Aug 2002, 7:23, More)

aw he's trying to swim to shore but there isn't one! adorable...

wave bye bye doggy!
(Thu 25th Jul 2002, 19:25, More)

kitten in a bucket.

(Thu 18th Jul 2002, 17:11, More)

I bet my gay dancing spiderman is gayer than your gay dancing spiderman.

(no, he's NOT wearing a suit!)
(Fri 5th Jul 2002, 11:54, More)

um... who knows what I was thinking.

(click pic for slightly bigger)
(Thu 4th Jul 2002, 22:05, More)

use more force, Luke!

(Wed 3rd Jul 2002, 19:17, More)

you mean like this?

(Sun 23rd Jun 2002, 18:45, More)

maybe we yanks
shouldn't be allowed to participate in this weeks challenge.

(Mon 3rd Jun 2002, 17:10, More)

Sorry, I was hungry.

(Thu 30th May 2002, 20:30, More)

no excuses.

(Mon 27th May 2002, 16:20, More)

reconfirming my reservations in hell.

(Sun 26th May 2002, 0:15, More)

He's going to tolerate the annoying toilet stickers for 2 weeks.

(Fri 24th May 2002, 12:42, More)


(Thu 23rd May 2002, 22:17, More)

do not distract the driver.

now I'm really going to hell for this one. In fact, if I were god and there wasn't a hell, I'd make one just for me and send myself there!
(Mon 29th Apr 2002, 14:09, More)

do you think they have adsl in hell?

(Mon 29th Apr 2002, 13:54, More)

I forgot, b3ta is all about animated gifs...
... and British colloquialisms.

and woo yay, of course.
(Thu 11th Apr 2002, 14:41, More)

wow. that's cool looking.

(Thu 11th Apr 2002, 14:30, More)

It's pudding time!

this seems like it was too obvious not to have already been done. did I miss it? and if it's too large, let me know, I'll change it to a link.
(Wed 10th Apr 2002, 12:44, More)

stukkas over catmandoo
and missiles whistling dixie. cups. or something.
(Wed 10th Apr 2002, 11:23, More)

Best answers to questions:

» Things you've done when you've had no money.

I sucked a man's penis.

ok, maybe not. but I thought someone should say they had.
(Sun 10th Oct 2004, 14:18, More)

» Dad Jokes

ooh let's see....
1. farts "oops! stepped on a frog!"
2. "here, pull my finger..." farts
3.tells this to everyone he ever meets ever: "I'm from the only burrough in New York that starts with a "D"... huh? ya know what it is? huh? ...DA Bronx!"
4. in car "quit complaining or I'll make you can get out and walk" said at least 400,000 times.
5. countless poor imitations of "inner city youths", or "ebonics", or whatever you want to call it. i.e.: "yo, I be wai'in he' fo' a' owa, bowyee!"
I'll try to come back with more, I must consult with my brother...
(Thu 11th Dec 2003, 19:27, More)

» Useless Information

on the internet, more people spell "definitely" with an "a" and "loser" with two "o"s than there are people on the planet at this time.
(Fri 18th Mar 2005, 15:33, More)

» Pet Names

we had a big black cat named Karl.
Karl disappeared. we figured he'd gotten in a duel to the death with one of the other rock hard tomcats in the neighborhood. then weeks later we found Karl in the basement next to the dryer with a batch of little black kittens. "oh Karl! you're a chick! excuse the mix-up, dude."
from then on, his... I mean her name was Karla.
(Wed 25th Feb 2004, 17:21, More)

» Slang Survey

here are 141 words for drunk from the BBC

the entire e-cyclopedia is full of modern weirdness, actually. far more than I could ever come up with.

the BBC is cool.
(Tue 3rd Feb 2004, 13:51, More)
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