b3ta.com user Chom
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20 - Sheffield - Film Geek

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» My Wanking Disasters

Back when I was younger
This was just before I had started wanking so I must have been pretty young but i knew what it was and I was the right age to be embarrassed by it. My Gran, in front of my Mum and Dad, asked me what wanking was... she'd heard the word on telly. My Mum told her it was another word for masturbation which she seemed content with. She then said to me 'Does that irritate your hand?'. I turned bright red, my Mum and Dad laughed their asses off and after a confused look my Gran piped up, 'I meant the bandage' - in all the excitement I had forgotten I had a sprained wrist from Basketball... she wasn't even senile.
(Wed 2nd Jun 2004, 14:03, More)

» Premonitions

My Dad...
...once excitedly told us how he watched the news in the morning and realised he'd dreamt almost every story... we reminded him he'd gone to sleep with the radio on.
(Fri 19th Nov 2004, 1:04, More)

» Cheating cheaty cheats

I only cheated once in my life.

When I was about 5 I got Guess Who for Christmas. When assembling the two boards I put them in sequence with one another so that I could work out who the other person was when they put down theirs on the first go. Quite ingenious for a littl'un - I even waited a few goes before guessing as not to get caught.

Everyone thought I was a child Guess Who Prodigy until my uncle worked out the very simple sequence... I'm still not trusted on my own with board games to this day.
(Fri 18th Nov 2005, 15:58, More)

» Your Revenge Stories

Just remembered another couple.
Back when I hated my Dad (toooo long a story) and he was moving out he asked me to get all his stuff together. Which I did, after:
1) Taking out any stuff that I wanted
2) Throwing his stereo down the stairs
3) Drawing Groucho marks faces on all the people in his 'artwork'
4 (my fav.)) he had an origami fish inside a picture frame; I opened the frame carefully, unfolded the fish, wrote 'fish' on it, put it back inside the frame.
(Fri 14th May 2004, 17:47, More)

» Dentists

My dentist...
... looks like Konnie Huq

I go every six months
(Sun 5th Nov 2006, 22:48, More)
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