b3ta.com user Far Out Slave
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Anyone looking to make chavs work for their living, use http://www.theyworkforyou.com/ to contact your MPs and force the government to get healthy chavs on the dole to perform community service while they "job seek"

Something done for me by printmeister

Carrots rapid fired from hatted bunnygirl's mimsy - not pictured: the rabbit girl or hat.

I was awarded

for eating:
a mix of vegetarian indian cuisine (samosas and deap fried lovelyness :D) and a cheese and pickle sarny with toffee cake, penguin, doritos and indian sweets.
Thank you Duke of Prunes!!

I am now officially Captain's assistant's slave's crevice scrubber on the pearl necklace under Captain Wow

Recent front page messages:


Best answers to questions:

» Rock and Roll Stories

Reading Festival
Before the millenium, back when thousands of obsolete COBOL programmers had come out of retirement to earn more than their pension for 2 weeks work; Me, my brother and a bunch of pissheads went to Reading festival.
Now, for anyone who's been, you'll understand the mind numbing boredom and feeling of eternity between each band. It was in one of these dull moments, between Terrorvision and Offspring that my brother said "let's do a human pyramid"

The mad fool grabbed complete strangers and co-erced them into making a 9 man pyramid, with some poor little kid stuck right at the top (apparently his face was a picture when you got up there!) But I'll never forget coming away from it to see that Offspring had come onto the stage while half the mosh pit had been facing the wrong way, looking at us.

T'was awsome fun and didn't even make it onto the TV coverage.
(Fri 30th Jun 2006, 13:26, More)

» Road Rage

I had another jumped up prick in a BMW try to kill me today
ok it's not just BMWs, but Audis, bikers, the usual batch of asians driving with their brother in law's licence and the 23IQ pointed prostitutes that seem to have overrun the midlands!

Basicly it boils down to this:
1) I drive a powerful car.
2) I don't want to die.
3) I want to keep the aforementioned car.
4) I like my licence and want to keep that too.

Therefore I adhere to these very simple rules:
>If some-one tail gates: Slow down to the exact speed limit.
>If some-one doesn't indicate: Politely, but loudly warn them that their indicators don't seem to be working.
>If some-one road hogs: Keep distance or pull over, being 10 minutes later doesn't usually cause many problems (besides, it's your fault for leaving late ... as I usually do!)
>If you get cut up: Flash your lights and then leave plenty of room.

There will always be pricks out there, but at the end of the day, their crime is their punishment. While I've sold on my 3rd car in prime condition and I'm looking at getting my 500bhp Subaru Legacy limited edition twin turbo(should be after christmas) those twunts will be sitting in very close proximity to a lamp post wondering how they could have been so stupid.

Laugh, aplaud, but don't wind yourself up. They'll do it to the wrong person one day!
(plus I tend to find my rules wind them up more than shouting and bad language)
(Tue 17th Oct 2006, 16:59, More)

» Intense Friendships

socialised_medicine - good theory
But it really could just be down to two facts:
1) B3tans really don't have that many friends, if we did, we'd be away from the PC and talking to them.
2) Most people just step away from psychos, never to talk to them again. Which, although sensible, leaves a lot of us bereft of good material.
(Wed 2nd Aug 2006, 14:14, More)

» Restaurants, Kitchens and Bars... Oh my!

In a pub a long time ago ...
I was working in a pub as a waiter, crap pay, poor conditions, and not a whole lot of fun (except on line cleaning night).

Anyway, one of the problem customers complained that their food was cold, so we took it back into the kitchen, cooked them a now meal, slightly warmer than the last one, then took it back.

They were still unhappy, but started eating at some other place.

The moral of this story is that some people are just arseholes - there's no need to act like them and make this world even shitier than it already is!

Just remember, next time you spit in some-one's food; you're helping to increase the probability that it happens to you ...
(Thu 27th Jul 2006, 17:27, More)

» Encounters with Royalty

There's an old family story
that basicly says we're related _very_ closely with the royal family ...
1) Not too sure if I believe it.
2) Really not that proud of it.
3) I recon if it's true there must be a tonne of other people who are the product of various dubious affairs etc, so I'm sure I'm not on my own there!
(Thu 3rd Aug 2006, 16:21, More)
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