b3ta.com user Barbarossa
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Profile for Barbarossa:
Profile Info:

Just a bloke doing silly pictures for the lulz.

The Fiend did a graffiti thing for me!
Bilbobarneybobs made me a special car on 1st May 2009!
k3b/-\b caricatured me as a 12th century worshipable stone head on 28th January 2009
Rev. Jesse. zombified me on 26th August 2008

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Front Page Images:


Favourite stuff I've done, in no particular order:









Most Popular Image Challenge Entries:

Celebrity Computer Games - 30th September 2019 (1st)

Merge Music - 10th October 2018 (1st) and Supergroups - 7th May 2008 (2nd) and Pop Letters - 4th April 2013 (5th)

Typo Websites - 17th September 2018 (1st)

Make Corbyn Electable - 11th May 2017 (1st)

Non Fiction Video Games - 1st April 2015 (1st)

Wrongstructions - 25th March 2009 (1st)

Real World Sci-Fi Problems - 1st March 2018 (2nd)

Buses - 23rd June 2017 (2nd)

New Landmarks - 4th May 2017 (2nd)

Roal Dahl - 16th September 2016 (2nd)

Music Sequels - 19th March 2015 (2nd)

The Censorship Challenge - 14th October 2009 (2nd)

Save Teletext - 29th July 2009 (2nd)

Invisible Extras - 11th February 2009 (2nd)

Xmas Cards - 27th November 2008 (2nd)

Kids covers adult books - 7th June 2018 (3rd)

Royal Souvenirs - 4th May 2018 (3rd)

British Films - 6th October 2017 (3rd)

Politicize Kids Books - 4th July 2017 (3rd)

Corporate Greenwash - 10th February 2010 (3rd)

Doctor Who Christmas - 14th December 2018 (4th)

Buttons - 19th October 2018 (4th)

Report Fiction - 7th December 2017 (4th)

The Queen's Hat - 22nd June 2017 (4th)

An Extra Character - 22nd September 2016 (4th)

Musical Animals - 21st July 2016 (4th)

Bigger Picture - 26th June 2014 (4th)

Impossible Weapons - 3rd November 2010 (4th)

UK TV, Hollywood Style - 18th December 2008 (4th)

Remove a letter from LPs - 20th August 2018 (5th)

Royal Souvenirs - 3rd May 2018 (5th)

Status Quo - 25th December 2016 (5th)

If America Were Still British - 8th October 2009 (5th)

Movie Mashups (The Next Generation) - 15th July 2009 (5th)

Shatner! - 3rd June 2009 (5th)

Spoonerisms - 24th October 2007 (5th)

End of Profile. Well done for getting this far!

Recent front page messages:

"Tribble! Tribble! Tribble!"

(Mon 26th Feb 2024, 11:57, More)

Is she allowed to pee?

(Mon 5th Jun 2023, 12:34, More)

Click for bigger (103 kb)
(Sun 11th Sep 2022, 11:48, More)

A bit late to the party

(Wed 2nd Feb 2022, 9:49, More)

Yikes! He's going to do it again!

(Wed 15th Dec 2021, 16:51, More)

Of course, it's the Gorna Lisa!

(Tue 30th Nov 2021, 13:35, More)


(Mon 25th Oct 2021, 11:36, More)

Matt Hancock's new office lanyards for use from July 19th

In response to twitter.com/mattcjones/status/1412691672597680130

(Fri 9th Jul 2021, 10:01, More)


(Thu 1st Jul 2021, 16:02, More)

The trouble with COVIDs...

An afternoon well spent methinks! 
(Tue 22nd Sep 2020, 16:38, More)

(Thu 3rd Sep 2020, 10:10, More)


(Wed 26th Aug 2020, 17:08, More)

Aced it.

(Tue 10th Dec 2019, 15:31, More)


(Mon 7th Oct 2019, 15:51, More)

The Farage Collection Re-Issued

(Mon 30th Sep 2019, 15:36, More)


(Thu 15th Aug 2019, 10:27, More)

Well, if we're doing this...

(Thu 8th Aug 2019, 13:36, More)

Interesting times...


(Tue 18th Jun 2019, 10:23, More)

"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue"

(Tue 11th Jun 2019, 8:24, More)


(Wed 22nd May 2019, 9:22, More)


(Thu 25th Apr 2019, 9:36, More)

Eww! It's your own sister, dude!

(Wed 17th Apr 2019, 9:58, More)

Surely she won't do it anyway....?

She probably will, and don't call me Shirley
(Tue 19th Mar 2019, 13:48, More)

Peak Brexit

(Tue 19th Mar 2019, 0:25, More)

Great service! Exactly what I ordered!

(Mon 4th Mar 2019, 10:41, More)


(Sat 2nd Mar 2019, 20:12, More)

Kill me now

(Wed 20th Feb 2019, 15:36, More)

It seams not...

(Fri 19th Oct 2018, 20:45, More)

Rockin' all over Paradise City

(Sat 6th Oct 2018, 14:17, More)

He knows when they are, and when they are not...

(Mon 17th Sep 2018, 12:02, More)

It's funny cos he doesn't know where he is...

(Fri 31st Aug 2018, 14:32, More)

(Tue 28th Aug 2018, 15:40, More)

To those getting GCSE results today, have you considered a career in BREXIT?

Click for bigger (137 kb)

(Thu 23rd Aug 2018, 12:27, More)

"Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as..."

(Tue 21st Aug 2018, 14:24, More)

Late for compo. This is all I've got.

(Mon 20th Aug 2018, 13:56, More)

So are we doing this or what? Conservatives holding vegetables...

(Wed 1st Aug 2018, 12:49, More)

Might get away with this...

(Tue 31st Jul 2018, 16:19, More)

He's a very naughty boy!

(Mon 30th Jul 2018, 12:07, More)

It's quite dark

(Thu 19th Jul 2018, 13:13, More)

Click for bigger (130 kb)

(Fri 13th Jul 2018, 16:03, More)


(Fri 13th Jul 2018, 11:28, More)

Sources tell me she didn't take the resignation too well...

(Mon 9th Jul 2018, 11:50, More)

(Wed 4th Jul 2018, 15:55, More)

New logo revealed

(Wed 20th Jun 2018, 10:11, More)

Foreword by David Davis

Click for bigger (168 kb)

(Tue 12th Jun 2018, 10:36, More)

2 legs good, 4 legs bad

(Fri 8th Jun 2018, 11:59, More)

A must-have for medical students

(Thu 7th Jun 2018, 10:50, More)

(Wed 9th May 2018, 10:15, More)

As it's a slow compo, have a pea...

(Fri 4th May 2018, 12:44, More)

It's the Official Portrait

Harry-Meghan Gothic.
(Thu 3rd May 2018, 11:14, More)

Kill me now

(Mon 23rd Apr 2018, 14:50, More)

"Pass me the mop, Maureen"

(Thu 1st Mar 2018, 16:13, More)


(Thu 1st Mar 2018, 11:31, More)

Thank you NHS

(Thu 22nd Feb 2018, 10:46, More)

Bloody show-off!

(Fri 16th Feb 2018, 11:09, More)


(Tue 13th Feb 2018, 16:10, More)

Not coming soon to a cinema near you

(Mon 5th Feb 2018, 15:38, More)

There's always a bigger fish...

Click for bigger (124 kb)

(Thu 25th Jan 2018, 9:57, More)

(Thu 18th Jan 2018, 14:17, More)


(Fri 12th Jan 2018, 11:30, More)

There's no place like home...

(Fri 1st Dec 2017, 11:11, More)

haha lols
Have a pea...

(NB Ridley Scott did actually direct this commercial)

(Fri 6th Oct 2017, 15:29, More)


Click for bigger (236 kb)

(Thu 31st Aug 2017, 10:51, More)

(Tue 18th Jul 2017, 11:12, More)

Happy Bastille Day to revolting people everywhere
In other news, I sat on this image for so long waiting to use it in an argument I've been beaten to it on the Twitter...

C'est la vie I guess.
(Fri 14th Jul 2017, 12:16, More)

Industrial Action...

(Fri 14th Jul 2017, 10:06, More)

Sod it, here's the bus.

(Mon 26th Jun 2017, 14:06, More)

Haha wow, mind the piss!

Very nice, by the way :)
(Mon 26th Jun 2017, 12:30, More)

Happy Shitmas Everybody!

Brexit 1 year anniversary, and nearly 12 years since 7/7.
Also, I love b3ta because this is probably the only place I could get away with posting this.

(Fri 23rd Jun 2017, 11:07, More)

Queen Buckethead

(Thu 22nd Jun 2017, 15:03, More)

David Davis arrives in Brussels to begin Brexit negotiations

(Mon 19th Jun 2017, 12:23, More)

Worst episode of HIGNFY ever :(

Had to include the rosette so people knew I'd actually 'shopped Arlene Foster's face onto Paul Merton
(Tue 13th Jun 2017, 12:24, More)

I FUCKING LOVE Lord Buckethead!

(Mon 12th Jun 2017, 12:37, More)

"But I WAS strong...... I WAS stable..."

(Fri 9th Jun 2017, 12:34, More)

In other news, Obi Wan is still a cunt...

(Wed 7th Jun 2017, 15:14, More)

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am this is true...

(Wed 7th Jun 2017, 13:57, More)

This just in...

(Fri 26th May 2017, 12:02, More)

Strange and Stale Leadership

(Wed 24th May 2017, 15:46, More)

When you've gotta go, you've gotta go..

... especially at his age ...
(Mon 22nd May 2017, 15:24, More)

There is only 'i' in Team...

(Mon 8th May 2017, 12:26, More)

Cerne Abbas Giant Arse

Click for bigger (144 kb)

(Thu 4th May 2017, 13:22, More)

The Buckingham Palace renovation campaign worked very well indeed...

(Fri 18th Nov 2016, 14:04, More)

(Thu 10th Nov 2016, 15:29, More)

DON'T PANIC! I have the solution...

(Tue 8th Nov 2016, 9:46, More)

need to know

(Fri 16th Sep 2016, 15:49, More)

"Jokes are better than technique" ....

(Fri 22nd Jul 2016, 17:00, More)

I got a new app, it's fucking annoying as shit...

(Thu 14th Jul 2016, 15:57, More)

(Wed 13th Jul 2016, 11:40, More)


(Tue 5th Jul 2016, 11:28, More)

It's been a week, first payment is due...

(Thu 30th Jun 2016, 10:11, More)

Brexit Recall

(Mon 27th Jun 2016, 12:28, More)

(Mon 30th Mar 2015, 13:44, More)

Ooh look, one from last time...

(Mon 30th Mar 2015, 13:37, More)


(Thu 19th Mar 2015, 8:57, More)

Looks like someone forgot about them

(Fri 13th Feb 2015, 12:19, More)

(Mon 30th Jun 2014, 15:58, More)


(Mon 19th Aug 2013, 13:49, More)

Very old pea...

(Thu 8th Aug 2013, 14:19, More)

(Fri 5th Apr 2013, 14:24, More)


(Tue 12th Jun 2012, 17:05, More)


(Fri 25th Mar 2011, 14:04, More)

That's impossible!

(Thu 4th Nov 2010, 11:22, More)

Oh yeah!

(Mon 8th Feb 2010, 15:12, More)


(Mon 11th Jan 2010, 14:52, More)


shirley bindun?

(Mon 19th Oct 2009, 15:39, More)


(Thu 1st Oct 2009, 16:52, More)

Are your teletext pages HD ready?

(Thu 30th Jul 2009, 15:35, More)

The Pearl With A Girl Earring

(Tue 28th Jul 2009, 14:07, More)


(Thu 16th Jul 2009, 9:46, More)

Be excellent to each other (Except Klingons)

(Thu 4th Jun 2009, 16:10, More)

Didn't actually need to shop much...

(Mon 9th Mar 2009, 13:44, More)

As promised...

(Thu 26th Feb 2009, 11:27, More)

Let's Rock!

(Mon 1st Dec 2008, 12:04, More)

Is it just me, or...

(Tue 7th Oct 2008, 15:27, More)


(Fri 5th Sep 2008, 10:47, More)

One way ticket to hull purchased...

Thanks to -D- for the idea
(Wed 25th Jun 2008, 15:36, More)

Classical art ... Brian Blessed ... what more could you want...?

(Wed 18th Jun 2008, 14:44, More)

I give up on trying to find decent source images for countdown...

(Thu 24th Jan 2008, 16:43, More)


(Mon 8th Oct 2007, 15:43, More)

Dirty man!

(Thu 4th Oct 2007, 13:07, More)


(Mon 9th Jul 2007, 13:54, More)

Best answers to questions:

» How nerdy are you?

Breaking my QOTW virginity here UPDATED
...so be gentle.

In one summer holiday while doing a maths degree at university, I took it upon myself to make a rug of the Mandelbrot set.

I programmed my BBC B computer to plot the picture, and got it to calculate how many strands of wool of each colour I needed. I then went to the wool shop and befuddled the shop assistant, who's only comment was "There's a lot of black, isn't there?"

I then set about making the rug, based on a printout from the above program.

The rug itself is about a metre square, and I think it contains 10000 strands of wool, which all had to be stitched by hand, using a special hooked tool.

It took about 10 weeks to complete, and I still have it 18 years later.

EDIT: Link to pic, it's a bit fuzzy, because my phone cam is shite

(Thu 6th Mar 2008, 17:28, More)

» IT Support

I remember working for an insurance company once
The new Operations Manager was really big on being informed of when things may be going wrong, and so set up the mainframe computer to page him on a pager every time there was a system message generated.

The first night after setting this up he went to bed, presumably with the pager on his bedside table...

Anyway at 4 am the loud beeping of the pager woke him up in a panic. "What could have happened?" he thought.

Anyway he quickly got dressed, drove the 30 miles or so to the office, unlocked all the doors, deactivated the alarms and made his way to the Ops room. There he switched on the terminal to see what was wrong with the mainframe, only to be confronted by the system message that had been generated:-

"Backup completed successfully".
(Thu 24th Sep 2009, 12:58, More)

» I don't understand the attraction

Need I say more?
(Thu 15th Oct 2009, 17:45, More)

» I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Please help!
I'm trying to find an online tutorial for advanced makeup techniques, but all I can find are foundation courses...
(Mon 3rd Sep 2018, 22:24, More)

» Pointless Experiments

Crushing an egg in your hand by squeezing
This one time, when some eggs had gone past their sell-by date, I attempted to prove or disprove the theory that it is not possible to crush an egg length-ways in your hand by squeezing alone.

After much exertion this appeared to be the case; I could not crush the egg like this, so I then wondered if it was actually possible to crush it width-ways.

For a time it appeared that this wasn't possible either, but then I squeezed just that little bit more, and that extra pressure on the shell must have caused it to crack, and it broke.

Well I say broke, it actually exploded because of the pressure I was exerting on it, and it sprayed all the eggy goodness about 6 feet into the air, all over myself, and all over my good lady wife who was acting the part of an impartial observer to the proceedings.

I was quite unpopular for the rest of the evening.
(Fri 25th Jul 2008, 11:07, More)
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