b3ta.com user ihaveab3tanamenow
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» Teenage Crushes - Part Two

The Really Wild Show
I can trace my sexual awakening back to when Michaela Strachan had a monkey do a piss on her shoulders during the really wild show.
(Sun 8th Nov 2009, 23:57, More)

» Guilty Laughs

During a trip to Auschwitz, sadness heavy in the air, I saw a midget scampering about with the tour group.

Laugh? I nearly shat myself.
(Thu 22nd Jul 2010, 16:53, More)

» PE Lessons

I find it amazing that everyone is viewing missing PE lessons or being delberately crap at it, as some sort of badge of honour. Would you be proudly telling us how you faked being mute to avoid english lit ? Feigned neuromuscular diesease to get out of woodwork?

It seems to me that b3ta is where all the fat kids live.
(Tue 24th Nov 2009, 10:11, More)

» Random Acts of Evil

Expelled at the age of 3
As a chubby cheeked child, I used to take a hammer from the little plastic DIY sets, or the Whack Attack game, and whack baldy children & babies until I was suitably chastised. It got so bad in the Mother and Toddlers group that they had to hide any Whacking implement away from me before I came in. Anyways day in question WHACK WHACK WHACK, little baldy child crying, expelled at the age of 3.

Pure unadultered evil. My Dad has since gone bald and I can feel myself lingering over the hammers in the toolbox in the shed for a little too long...
(Mon 20th Feb 2012, 15:33, More)

» Schadenfreude

Seaside town 5 Feb 2004
A couple of years ago I was ambling along the promenade remarking at how wild the approaching waves that were lapping up were getting. I noticed a foreign family on the beach feverishly picking up shells, for what would have been a truly stellar shell collection.

Long story short, a huge wave came crashing down on them.

Come to think about it, I remember reading something in the news about this.
(Thu 17th Dec 2009, 17:34, More)
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