A Future British Lift...


...for Future British People.

From the Fat Britain challenge. See all 261 entries (closed)

( rmoola was thinking about a software problem, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:13, archived)

arf! i think
i've no idea how heavy a kg is, i still work in pounds, shillings and pence.
( god save the queen hardly ever original, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:15, archived)

Silly GSTQ monies is not weights.

( Mstandot, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:18, archived)

I would just like to say that
I have no idea of why this is!
( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:20, archived)

Hahaha
looking for lion attaques again, were we?
( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:21, archived)

*whistles innocently*

( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:22, archived)

On a sexy girls and womens too

( Flowerpot watches through the railings as they play, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:41, archived)

Hahahaha
Some of the comments are hilarious, sad gits
( Jahled So boring, you'll pass out saying my name, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:27, archived)

biautyfuulllllllllllllll

( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:28, archived)

stupid mother fucker idiot
jsci86 (five months ago)
( Jahled So boring, you'll pass out saying my name, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:36, archived)

you well come
polkaf2007 (9 months ago)
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 23:04, archived)

Hahahahaha
This deserves a comment.

( Flowerpot watches through the railings as they play, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:36, archived)

^ this

( prodigy69 uncle 2.0, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:50, archived)

hahahahahahahaha
there's another one.... www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sh2CKHKjJs&feature=user
( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:44, archived)

So good he posted it twice

( Flowerpot watches through the railings as they play, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:47, archived)

━━━━━━┓ waste of my time fag!
┏┫　　｜　｜　　┣┓ F YOU
┗┫━━　┃　━━┣┛　　　┣┫
　┃　━━━━━　┃　　┏┳┫┣┳┓ COPY AND PASTE
　┗━━━┳━━━┛　　┃　　　　┃ If you think this guy is a 

( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:50, archived)

CeciTCB (2 weeks ago)
you looks like a sexual disfunctional domestic unmarried cat
( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:59, archived)

1kg = 1000g
it's fairly easy, really
( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:20, archived)

Ah but which would be heavier?
A ton of feathers or a ton of gold?!
( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:21, archived)

My sex cock

( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:22, archived)

Is that a gold member?:P
Twick qwestion. a metric ton (assuming that the feathers are static) is a different weigh as a gold ton!
( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:24, archived)

One might point out the gold stays stable.
Where as the feathers will absorb and lose moisture,
changing the weight moment by moment. SCIENCE!!!
( Tahkcalb ω∞ for sigs, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:27, archived)

But gold will not stay stable due to economic fluctuations!
FINANCE!!!

Plus I tried to make Kate Moss fat for the compo but I can't seem to make it work.
( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:31, archived)

Feed her some bacon

( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:31, archived)

Well I did try and slip her some more pork.

( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:32, archived)

Well you shouldn't use such a tiny specimen next time.

(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:36, archived)

What's what GSM is for!

( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:53, archived)

I have told this story on here before, but here you go again.
I passed a note around a lecture when I was at university, asking people to say what they thought was heavier: a ton of feathers or a ton-and-a-half of lead.

Everybody put their name under "they're exactly the same", except a little Malaysian girl who wrote "lead by half ton".
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:37, archived)

The moral of this story is that people like to feel superior and can be easily duped through a false sense of security.
And that students are idiots.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:47, archived)

The moral of this story is
Never eat oranges!
( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:56, archived)

I had to think long and hard to see whether
250Kg per person really is excessive.

So here's a handy conversion chart

1 stone = 14 pounds = err...oh buggrit.

Anyone here on a weight loss programme?
( rmoola was thinking about a software problem, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:22, archived)

A stone is roughly 6.4kg
I think
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:24, archived)

yep
www.google.com/search?hl=en&c2coff=1&safe=off&q=1+stone+in+kgs&btnG=Search
( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:25, archived)

Wahey, I am pleased I remembered that.
However using 6.35 makes me slightly heavier... so damn yooou :)
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:27, archived)

about 6 bags of sugar then
500 kg = my sugar in tea intake in a week,
that's bloody heavy.

so i deduce that i can confirm my arf!
( god save the queen hardly ever original, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:29, archived)

500KG?!!!?

( Tom O'Bedlam Fuck Boom Rapist, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:35, archived)

i drink a lot of tea
and i piss for england.
( god save the queen hardly ever original, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:41, archived)

www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=500kg+in+pounds&btnG=Google+Search
( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:24, archived)

Google Experimental Labs
one day you'll be able to google "Who's at the door?" and it will tell you.
( rmoola was thinking about a software problem, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:28, archived)

www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=the%20answer%20to%20life,%20the%20universe%20and%20everything%20%20plus%20the%20number%20of%20horns%20on%20a%20unicorn&btnG=Search&meta=
( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:30, archived)

500 Kg = 28 microwave ovens
or 2.8 female lions.

Thanks Sensible Units from prev newsletter
(SockCooker Sock FTW 2012, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:29, archived)

hahahaha!

( god save the queen hardly ever original, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:30, archived)

YES

( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:31, archived)

2.2 Lbs
per kilo.
( Pasanonic so I compo anything with words, right?, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:30, archived)

ok its easy
1 fat person = 2 skinny ones

dont bother with any other conversions

if in doubt shoot the person; if you can drag the dead body they are skinny
( The Tig and me, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:34, archived)

I still work in lbs and ounces etc.
It's the governments fault. All shops up until about 10 years ago still worked in imperial yet they taught metric in school. I still ask for stuff in lbs and ounces in shops.
( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:41, archived)

the alternative is
to just ask the shopkeeper to place all the items in your bag or you threaten to blow their fuckin heads off with a shotgun. this avoids any imperial/metric issues and reduces stress for all concerned
( The Tig and me, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:43, archived)

Clever and funny
have a click!
( mediocre *canned laughter*, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:16, archived)

In the future, fat people will be heavy.

( Dekionplexis 333 ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:18, archived)

or...
...we could all get very dense bones.
( rmoola was thinking about a software problem, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:25, archived)

My bones are liquid.

( Dekionplexis 333 ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:27, archived)

Hahaha.

( Mstandot, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:19, archived)

Just seen your sig:
Tesco have just started doing the "Spend £50 and get 5p off a litre at the petrol station" deal again.

I work for Tesco and generally NEVER encourage people to shop there, as it is shit, but this seems a nifty deal at the moment.
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:22, archived)

I've just seen your sig:
Eh?
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:24, archived)

It's a speshill number
One I have only recently found but was rather pleased about.


*IS MYSTERIOUS*
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:25, archived)

bmi?

( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:27, archived)

Hahahahaha
I'd have to weigh like, 2 kilos!
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:30, archived)

lard :)

( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:32, archived)

Oi!

( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:42, archived)

You're not mysterious,
you're just vague...
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:35, archived)

I might be

( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:36, archived)

"You think it's very funny to be sarcastic don't you?"
"No"
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:38, archived)

You'd hate me if we met.

( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:41, archived)

Why because you like making cakes?
Fucking baking scum.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:43, archived)

I don't care.
I love baking much more than I could ever love another person.


*lies*
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:47, archived)

Why would I hate you anyway?
Other than the fact that I hate everyone, obviously.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:48, archived)

Because I find it fun to be annoying
:)
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:52, archived)

OH HI!

( KittyVomit LOOK AT ME! EVERYONE LOOK AT ME! I'M RAPING YOU!, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:31, archived)

Hello.
I feel sick.
(Jeru War and Piss, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:33, archived)

It was ace last time!
Bringing down to 78p a litre,hmm. this time bringing it down to 110p a litre!!!
Twats still applies.Not Tescoes though.
( Mstandot, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:29, archived)

Tesco are twats, aaactually :)

( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:35, archived)

plus their stuff is watered down............

(Donald Trump's Hair War doesn't determine who's right, only who's left, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 0:11, archived)

I drove to Cornwall
in a 1.2 ltr Corsa the other week ( don't ask me, it was not my idea ) £50 filled the tank and got me to St Austell with a lot of gear in the back. £60 got me back. A 1.2 Corsa. It was not that long ago I could have spent the same in my 5ltr BMW.
( Pasanonic so I compo anything with words, right?, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:32, archived)

when I first got a car petrol was a rip off at 68p
now it is 120p

I am only 23
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:34, archived)

I've only been driving (a moped) for about 6 months
but already I'm noticing quite a big difference with petrol.

It makes me feel oooollldddd.
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:45, archived)

haha
brilliant
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:20, archived)

genius!
:D clicks
( op op op op op largely very dangerouse, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:33, archived)

Haha, very good :)
The goods lifts in our local shopping centre are made by a company called Schindler, effectively making them Schindler's Lifts! That always gave me a chuckle when I worked there :D
(coliander did NOT rape discomeats' fucking cement, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:36, archived)

haha ours too!
i laugh every time i get in...
( op op op op op largely very dangerouse, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:42, archived)

ditto
and the cinema screening that very film also boasted lifts from Schindler. Back in '93 that was. Ooh the projection was all hand-cranked back then.
( rmoola was thinking about a software problem, Thu 3 Jul 2008, 22:49, archived)

that was something
people used to write in the lifts at Sainsbury's - there was a fat checkout supervisor who everyone despised. The sign in the smaller lifts said "Maximum load 600kg or 1/2 Joy Witts".
(rogerzilla, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 6:40, archived)