I think I have a good one for this week...
I recently had a rant about this on another board...

Lush-Fucking-Leeds.

As a fresh-faced 18 year old lay-about, my Mum was always on at me to find a job. Her last rant about this was when I was on the way into Leeds to do some shopping, so I decided to do something about it.

I went into Lush Spa Leeds to buy some overpriced soap on behalf of a friend, and saw a notice behind the till advertising a job placement and I thought "Great!! I'll smell good everytime I go home!". 6 days later, I was fully employed by Lush and was having a whale of a time.

Three and a half months after this happened, I had a coursework deadline to meet and was furiously working away on that and a staff meeting for Lush completely passed me by. I realised the next morning at aprox. 8.29, and I rang the office at 8.30, asking to speak to management. I was put onto a stuck up hippy instead as she was the most senior one in at the time and told me to ring back at around 2, when a member of the management team would in in the shop.

I did just that. Rang back at 2pm, explained my situation and grovelled and kissed some (quite substantial) arse and tried to keep my job. The trainee manager told me over the phone that I was still in my probationary period and that I had technically "missed a shift" so she would have to let me go.

I was fucked off. Told to leave a decent job over the phone, with no apology from a TRAIN-fucking-EE!! I was also out of my probationary period by that time, so it was completely unacceptable and unfair.

The thing that fucked me off the most though, was the fact that the trainee and the general manager are metaphorically fucking the HR department of Lush, so any complaints about them are swept away as though they don't happen...




And I paied for the fucking phone call!!!!!


(Apologies for lack of humour/lengh)
(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 22:33, 19 replies)

Can't stand the smell of that place!
I walk past and hold my breath. Too many sickly smells. I don't know how you bore it to be honest!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 22:37, closed)

I love lush with the best of them
but for gods sake LEEDS LUSH STAFF! I am not your toy to be pounced upon the very second I sniff your shop, my hair is very red, please stop smiling at me like that, yes I think it looks nice too. Please stop smiling at me like that! I am going to buy some products yes, please stop smiling you're scaring me, no-one can smile that much without getting TMJ, right please stop touching my hair now, FUCKING STOP! GIVE ME A BATH BOMB SO I CAN FUCK OFF HOME THANK YOU! I honestly wonder if they try to stress you out so much that when you get in the bath after buying your bath bomb anything will relax you so their products seem more effective.
( Mrs. Spatum, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:05, closed)

Mrs Sp@m
Sorry to hear about the hair-touching and things, but that is deffinatly one of the amazingly crap ideas that come from management. They say the staff need to smile and approach EVERY single customer until you get a conversation going as there is more chance of a sale. I fucking hated making conversations like that as it's the most unnatural thing in the world, but if your hair is the talking point, then they will go straight for it.
(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:00, closed)

It's ok, I am not blaming you, it's just as you said - very false.
It feels so awkward, usually I wait outside until it's really busy and then I try to run in smell as many stuff as I can so I can choose quick, run to the till and then speed out - I have not once been successful in avoiding their clutches. It's becoming and actual task now.
( Mrs. Spatum, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:17, closed)

Lush Coventry has some (well one) infuriatingly
annoying bloke, who incessantly pushes himself in your face trying to make conversation.

If I want help, I'll frakkin' ask for it!

Having them come over and get all touchy feely with my hair would likely send me into a furious rage; well done for not actually killing any of them.
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:17, closed)

I used to work for them. Trust me, they care more about animals than their staff. Be glad you got out when you did as they're a shit company to work for.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:12, closed)

was it the manager?? It seems like it is for everyone else I've spoken...

(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 8:03, closed)

Sorry
I'd have fired you for writing 'paied' as in 'paied for the phone call' when it's spelt 'payed'.

You don't collect weekly 'pai', do you?

But at least you smelt nice for a week or so.
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:26, closed)

What?

(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:29, closed)

and i would have fired YOU, el fandango,
for being so up your own arse as to not realise the most commonly accepted past tense of "to pay" is in fact "paid" and not "payed", regardless of whether you collected weekly "pai" or not.
(zenmeban thinks the weather could be better, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:39, closed)

Spelling Fail
Or should it be 'fayel'?
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:02, closed)

Busted!
Remember, you can only be a member of the spelling 3rd Reich if you have, at the very least, a rudimentary grasp of the english language.
( multijoy, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 11:35, closed)

English language! Capital 'e' no?
(sugar_tits, Sun 13 Jun 2010, 21:35, closed)

I love Lush products in general but....
My last visit to one of their shops was to pull down my top and say
'is this meant to happen?'
Exposed top of scratched and slightly bloody chesticles
Something in a body scrub I bought contained an ingredient sharp enough to leave bloody welts all over me.
I looked like I had been self harming.
Lady behind counter actually paled, took my details and said they had received other concerns about that particular product and would get back to me.
They never did but I did notice later that particular item was no longer on sale
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:44, closed)

Hell!!
What product was that?!
(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:07, closed)

I cant remember what it was called
But it was a big black square thing, you looked you were washing yourself in charcoal, it had exfoliating bits in it that were too sharp
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 11:35, closed)

I work in the same industry, and "Know of" the geezer who started Lush
He's a knob.
As for products that scratch your lady lumps, don't bother with the shop, complain either in writing to head office, or go to trading standards. Lush won't fob them off
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 21:16, closed)

He is a rather substantial knob...
And there is very litte point in going to Head Office. If the product isn't in shops anymore, they'll do fuck all.

Even if the product is in the store, they'll also do fuck all, with a large ammount of initial pussyfooting around the situation.
(one-winged-angel-616 isn't as depressed as she sounds, Sat 12 Jun 2010, 22:24, closed)

Gah Management
I get very pissed off with things like that! I had the same kind of thing when I worked for a coffee shop. For such a supposedly friendly atmosphere, it can be very false when it comes to strictly adhering to company policy.

Last time I went into Lush to buy a present for a friend, I almost fell prey to the annoying falseness of one of the shop assistants. She zoned in on me like a hungry vulture on a sick antelope, despite the fact that my beauty regime involves little more than shower gel and shampoo, so in a flaily re-directing tactic, I fobbed her off on my housemate, pointing at her and saying "She's the girly one!" My housemate responded with "Oh yes, my girliness sets off Draco Rattus nicely," and now the shop assistants in Lush Cardiff think that we're lesbian lovers.

I could do a lot worse than that, really!
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:10, closed)