Tale of touristy ladywanking
I was visiting London in September, and paid a visit to the British Museum. Whether it was the stimulating effect of the artefacts (doubtful; I enjoy history as much as the next girl, but not THAT much), the day spent doing lots of walking around, or the incessant rain (insert joke about being wet, or something… I can’t be arsed), I don’t know, but I suddenly found myself with a distinct stirring in my nether regions. It wasn’t a minor stirring, oh no: this one demanded immediate attention if I was going to continue my perambulations and focus on anything. So I took a break from my tour of the museum in favour of a self-guided tour of my ladybits, and popped into the closest ladies’ toilet.

I’d like to take a moment to say that the washroom designers of Britain should be commended. Unlike their inferior, material-shy cousins in North America, they know the value of privacy, and the doors in the stalls in the toilet I’d chosen were full, floor-to-ceiling affairs. I chose one in the corner, which had three tiled walls – I was desperate, but I’m not an exhibitionist by nature, and I thought I was safe enough.

And I was. There's no tale of woe; sorry to disappoint. I successfully cracked one out, and went on my merry way. I’m pretty proud of the fact that I despoiled one of the world’s greatest repositories of history just a little bit, and it was certainly a unique (I would assume, but who knows?) London touristy experience.
(BlackArmadillo Avoided writing that article on, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 18:29, 8 replies)

So that's why there is alway a queue.

( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 19:31, closed)

There was no time
for a line to form.
(BlackArmadillo Avoided writing that article on, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:26, closed)

God Save The Queen

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sat 19 Feb 2011, 20:11, closed)

I was in the British Museum
only yesterday evening, visiting the Book of the Dead exhibition (it's very interesting, btw, do go).

The only effect the visit had on me was a feeling of suffocation because of the crowds and a need for a sit-down because I'd been up since six that morning. I wouldn't have had enough energy to get the old feller out, let alone do anything with him.

I envy you.
( Sonic the Hedgetrimmer doesn't care what you think, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:35, closed)

I envy you
for getting to see that exhibit. I saw the adverts while I was visiting.
(BlackArmadillo Avoided writing that article on, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 22:38, closed)

No, you're not the pioneer
When I was 8 or 9 maybe, I went to the science museum for my birthday.

I went for a widdle, and there was some guy standing next to me at the trough. He was giving his willy a shake. After a bit of time, probably a bit too long, he started weeing again, but it was funny white coloured wee.

When I eventually discovered what wanking was, a few years later, it was like 'Hey, wait a minute . . . that dirty fucker!'.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 10:28, closed)

i like this so much
not the guy tossing off in the trough, but your delayed reaction.

I like to think you were tucking into your tea, several years later and it hits you..... what the fuck!
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 15:20, closed)

I twice had the opportunity for a wank in the Buckingham Palace toilets.
Didn't go for it, though, because my absence from the rehearsal would have been noticed.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Mon 21 Feb 2011, 11:42, closed)