Chinese guys are unsanitary dirty bastards.
One time when living in a small town (just 1 million people) in China, I accompanied my girlfriend (now wife) to church, where she was getting baptised. I'm not into the whole Christianity thing, but what the fuck, I was getting regular sex and prepared to crawl through broken glass to keep on feeling like a functional human being.

So it's a pretty dismal spring morning, the ceremony is taking forever and I need a pee. I go out back, where the searing stench of ammonia rots my nasal lining and tells me that's where the gents is. I walk in, and directly in front of me I see a row of guys on squatter toilets. They are all smoking and the air is noxious; vile yellowing fag butts clog the urinal trench. The guy in front of me is on his mobile phone and smoking, at the same time as he blurts a series of watery turds out his arsehole.

I left the toilets and set my brain on fire.
(McChinaman banned, Sat 14 Feb 2015, 0:16, 8 replies)

Oh my,
you do have a way with prose.

Well done.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sat 14 Feb 2015, 6:19, closed)

I often contemplate if British/western society lost out by giving up on communal shitting.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Sat 14 Feb 2015, 7:58, closed)

No. No, we haven't. No. NOOOO.

(McChinaman banned, Sat 14 Feb 2015, 10:56, closed)

I'm having trouble unseeing this
and I didn't even see it!
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 14 Feb 2015, 10:36, closed)

Only come up to your knees
One time in Hong Kong I observed this most sophisticated woman coming down the street towards me.

She was all legs and style - it was hard to keep my eyes off her. Then she let out this big green chunk of phlegm that sailed through the air and landed beside the watermelon sellers stand.

That was 15 years ago.
(justin(e), Sun 15 Feb 2015, 14:32, closed)

Squat and Take it
Squatting... Squatting... Squatting

AhGahd! it all comes back now!! Me: A two-striper, Air Force, Across the border from Del Rio Texas in Cuidad Acuna: Not quite the end of the earth, but one could see it from there. Cross-eyed drunk we were. Boy's Town section of Acuna. Very Nasty Dive (even by Boy's Town standards). Dyspeptic Barker out front screeching at passers by to come and see "Dee Sexy Banana Choe!" Inside on the bar: A butt nekid chiquita "dancer" with furry nipples picking up a quarter with no hands.

Several rounds of Tequila MindWipes put that at bay until I read that.

Thanks Fucking Heaps.
(shamblinthru Grasshopper! Next time use the potholders!, Tue 17 Feb 2015, 0:21, closed)

Do you even English?

(McChinaman banned, Tue 17 Feb 2015, 13:58, closed)