Me
I'm my only biggest disappointment. I don't blame anybody, anything or any event for why I'm not happier than I am.

I'm turning 30 in less than 4 weeks, I'm single, although I've lost weight I'm still carry a little extra, got a crap job, live in a room in a basement and skint.

I don't ask myself why I'm here, I know why I'm here. I didn't work hard enough at school, I ate too much, I don't take risks and try and do more with my life.

I know all this yet I don't do anything to get out of this situation as I get scared and nervous.

I'd love to move to somewhere else, new surroundings, new people, new job, new atmosphere, yet I tell myself that no matter where I go, I'll face the same problems, so I settle with what I've got.

I'm trying to lose weight to feel more confident and attractive, yet I have a worry that I'll never feel confident or attractive with myself.

My job is rubbish and is going nowhere, yet due to not studying hard enough I don't have any qualifications nor previous skills to get me a better job. I can't even write a CV for gods sake!

Now, despite all this, I'm not an unhappy person, far from it. I just wish that I was able to make small changes to myself to make myself happier.

I worry that I'll never do what I know I need to do, that due to my disappointment with myself that I'll retain eternally single, which is something I seem to eternally fuck up when trying to change.

Please don't consider this a "oh woe is me" story, more a "could do better" story.
(Laxly, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:11, 14 replies)

I've been where you are
aside from the weight loss, I know exactly where you're coming from. The sooner you get yourself out of your comfort zone and do stuff that scares you, the sooner you'll start living the life you want to live.

IT IS scary as hell at first, but it's worth it.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:30, closed)

Seconded
It takes a lot to do it.
I've now upped sticks and buggered off for a fresh start 3 times now, usually a bit rashly after sticky relationship break ups.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:33, closed)

Ditto
This sounds resoundingly familiar. I'm 32 and in pretty much the same circumstances, with similar feelings about it all. Click for truth, and the knowledge that I'm not the only one :)
(Douglost, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:37, closed)

This is my second time now
and is going a helluva lot better than the first. First was relationship break up woes, this is just try it and see what happens.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:37, closed)

@becky
Nice, sounds like it's going well.
It's taken me a while to get settled in Leeds but I've been here over three years now. I love it and met some great people. For instance, I invited about 40 people to my birthday do at my house on Saturday thinking I might get around 15. Only 3 folks have said they can't make it.
*fears for furniture*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:40, closed)

Yup
I'm finally doing the job I love after years of shit customer service hell, living in London by myself and have no one to answer to but myself. I look back at the person I was 3 years ago and wish I'd done this sooner.

/cheese
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:51, closed)

*nods*
Throw yourself off the deep end, you'll be amazed at what you're capable of.

Two years ago I ended a five-year relationship. Then I went travelling n my own in central america. Now I've quit my job and am moving 200 miles away, just to see what happens.

I used to feel....ineffectual, is the best way to describe it. Completely and utterly trapped in a ife I didn't want. Now I feel like I can do anything.

Even if you don't know what you do want (I certainly don't) you obviously know what you don't want.

Honestly, you can do anything you want to, you just don't know it yet.

Good luck (and apologies for length)
(G-Lo, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:52, closed)

oh yeah..
and attraciveness is all wrapped up in self-worth. Achieving stuff makes you feel, like, dead sexy!
(G-Lo, Mon 30 Jun 2008, 22:55, closed)

Thanks guys
I kinda know that breaking out and doing something different is what I need to do, I guess I just got to build up the courage to do it.

Thanks for your words of support though.

Oh, I never said I was ugly by the way! Thank you very much! lol
(Laxly, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 0:07, closed)

Just go for it
Seven years of marriage (and 6 years of being together before that), followed by a horrific break up really brought me out of my shell.

Well, after a couple of months moping anyway. Point is, if you think someone's worth talking to, talk to them. If you get rejected, chances are no one will know and you can keep trying.

A slightly simplified view on things, maybe, but I found it worked.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 1 Jul 2008, 0:46, closed)

it sounds to me like
you're scared of failure, so you just don't try. nobody's perfect, no matter how much they may look it from outward appearances. everybody makes mistakes, they build character and ultimately enrich your life. don't be afraid to fail, the only real failure would be living your life without trying.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 1:21, closed)

I'm sure you're hot stuff
I was just referring to the 'I have a worry I'll never feel confident or attractive with myself' bit
(G-Lo, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 18:27, closed)

Thanks
I'm in the middle of writing a new CV so I can change my job, hopefully that'll just be the start.
(Laxly, Tue 1 Jul 2008, 20:21, closed)

As others have already said
Do venture away from your comfort zone and don't be afraid to try new things and meet new people.

And here's an inspiring quote:

"Now the Field of Battle is a land of standing corpses; Those determined to die will live; Those who hope to escape with their lives will die."
-- Wu Chi's commentary to Sun Tzu's art of war
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Wed 2 Jul 2008, 21:29, closed)