Who?
Went to the uni summer ball last year as Nathan Barley, complete with geek pie wig. I'd say for every 100 people who had no idea who I was there was 1 who shouted "totally fuckin mexico" or "thir-fuckin-teen." I loved those few who knew.

It was well brown
(gingerchris I'm trying..., Mon 16 Jan 2006, 2:33, Reply)

Ooh, me, me!
In at number 3: a six-foot Cadbury's Flake. My Dad worked at a Cellophane factory (the one which makes Bridgwater officially the smelliest town in Britain) and the open day featured a fancy dress competition. Naturally yellow cellophane was involved but what most amused the 'rents was watching me try to walk with my entire body enclosed in a reel spool - a giant, rigid, heavy, inside-of-a-toilet roll slightly narrower than my shoulders. Thanks Dad.

Number 2: Charlie Chaplin and a cowboy and a cloud and a caterpillar and a cardboard box, simultaneously. Well it was a C party and it was my birthday, and if I want to steal everyone else's costume I will.

But at number 1 for the fourth year running: Spiderman, but that's only funny because I got lost on the way home and ended up in a really nasty bit of Sheffield. "Ah," thinks a part of my brain which is no longer given a say in these things, "if natives spot student in Spiderman costume, will trample student. If spot the real Spiderman, will be impressed and awe-struck." So my entire way home was spent "web-slinging" as only a wasted nerd can: appallingly. Darting from lamp-post to lamp-post, scaling walls which most people would just step over, occasionally singing my own theme tune. Still, didn't get beaten up - probably because they too busy pissing themselves to chase me.
( tumph, Mon 16 Jan 2006, 0:39, Reply)

If it means anything...
I'm going to be a fully operational Lite-Brite this year for halloween.
(I like you much more than this telephone pole. But not as much as this frying pan., Mon 16 Jan 2006, 0:24, Reply)

Night of the living pillow...
Around halloween 2005 me and a few friend swent to visit my mate in Royal Hollway Uni, and he'd told us all to dress up a little, so what did I do? Vampire? Zombie? Maybe even Chewbacca? Nope! I was a pillow, walking around in a duvet cover, with my feet protruding throguh holes in the corners (wierd IKEA design) into my trainers, a pillow case with a hole in it on my head, and dressing gown/boxers on underneath. From south east london, via train and Waterloo station to Egham, around a university and back in a large duvet cover, unique and highly reccomendable experience. One guy poked me in belly as if I was Pop'n'Fresh! Walked home next day after party just in dressing gown and trainers.
Video of me playing piano in said duvet cover.

**BOOM**...cherry was too big just to go 'pop'
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Sun 15 Jan 2006, 22:32, Reply)

Power Rangers
Back in year 5, building up to the end of year Junior School Disco, we were told it would be fancy dress.
My mates decided to go as various things - stormtroopers, gangsters, scottish people, etc.

Then there was me, somewhat obsessed with Power Rangers at the time. I went as the Green Ranger.
I loved it!
Looking back, it was damned embarassing though.

I still have the costume at home somewhere as well :)
(sky blue sam, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 20:58, Reply)

Friends Rock stars themed party:
Usual John Lennon/Oasis lookalikes. Dull dull dull.

I got the bathroom clock and attached a necklace to it. Hey presto- i was Flava Flav. Not as inspired as my friend who wore Tesco value jeans and a tucked in T-shirt. And claimed he was Phil Collins.
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 18:00, Reply)

Um...
Went to one before christmas as the man who shot Bambis mother. Luckily no-one came as Bambi, or that could have been really awkward.
(Pigmash, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 16:33, Reply)

easy on the effort
I was short for time whilst preparing for a friend of a friends fancy dress party. I went for the option of attaching a condon to the centre of my face with a shoe lace, it had been in my wallet for months and it needed using somewhere. When people asked, 'what have you come as?' I just said, 'Fuck-nose!!!' i laugh at myself, i know its sad, but it makes me feel better.
(lankynyack, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 15:40, Reply)

I was going out with a lass in sheffield
who had a bit of a "rugby follower" sense of humour.
She invited me to a fancy dress party, and I was under the impression that it was at the flat of one of her similarly minded mates.
It turned out to be a family party with several generations present.
Needless to say I was the only party goer who turned up dressed as a used tampon.
( blyerkit e k trilby, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 14:13, Reply)

A fiddle dee dum...
On a school charity day last year, a few of my friends were doing face painting in the maths room at lunch time.
I managed to con them into painting my face for free, and my chosen design was 'Katie the half a bee'. This involved me having half of my face covered in black and yellow stripes, and my other cheek having the words 'Katie the half a bee' scrawled on in biro.

Now, no one at school listened to Monty Python records, so did not get not get my genius pun on the song 'Eric the half a bee'.

People kept looking at me a bit funny, but that might be because the next lesson I had was PE and they had never seen half a bee playing table tennis in plimsoles before.

Worse still, a teacher who walked into the hall saw my face and started singing:
"a fiddle dee dum, a fiddle dee dee, Eric the half a BEEEEE!
(PAMPAMPAM, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 11:48, Reply)

Donald Duck
Back in Sixth Form we were encouraged to take the lead when it came to popular charity fund raising days. Obviously 'Children In Need' is the highlight of this particular calendar, so me and my mate were arranged costumes for us for when we undertook the schools annual ritual of standing outside Safeways in Caerphilly with a bucket on a cold November morning.

When they arrived we had a choice; either the Cardiff City mascot outfit (then Bartley the Bluebird, a quite professional bit of Fancy Dress kit) or the mankiest Donald Duck attire ever. Suffice to say I ended up with this poor excuse for a costume.

To cut a long story short, I stood there freezing my knackers off for four hours, while my mate was enjoying the Tunisian-esque climate his insulated suit afforded him. To cap it off, we were roughed up by about twenty Year 9's from a rival school before being collected at lunchtime. *I managed to catch one of the little bastards with a half full bucket of coppers, and no doubt the c*nt had the sound of loose change ringing in his ears while he spent the afternoon smoking/drinking/thieving etc...

* If you are engaged in combat by a large group of youths, it's best to not have a fancy dress costume on, as it seriously hampers your mobility and scrapping ability.
(Fatty Thornton, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 10:23, Reply)

An edited history of fancy dress

1993ish: Dress as a red indian maiden for a party. First foray into fancy dress and I actually liked it. Came second to a girl dressed up as a bunch of grapes (purple leotard, with purple balloons attached) The bitter stench of defeat has been following me around ever since.

2001: Halloween, and go out to a fancy dress party as the girls from the craft (vampy make up, mussed up hair, short skirts, fishnets etc etc) Would have been great but we were the only fuckers in fancy dress and as a result looked like prostitutes. And I slipped over in the toilets and got a wet skirt so I looked like an incontinent prostitute.. grr

2001: New Years fancy dress party, went as a Bunny Girl. Unfortunately my arch nemesis decided to go too, quite aply dressed as a witch. So I got drunk, stole her witches hat and flushed it down the toilet. Only to find out that it wasn't her hat and she'd lent it off her six year old cousin.... Best New Year ever!!

2004: Halloween, went out as a Cheerleader, avec pom poms and everything. Dropped my cheeseburger in the queue for the club and cried. Didn't get my arse pinched once. Not happy.

2005: Went to see the Rocky Horror Show and dressed as Magenta. Maids outfit (100% acrylic), brazen wig (100% acrylic) and fishnet tights (100% nylon) Took about 50 minutes to get to the toilet and back during the interval as I desperately tried to avoid all the smokers and various other naked flames.

Looking back, my outfits consist of a hell of a lot of fishnets. I might buy some shares in Pretty Polly. Or go for something more original next year :-(
(theneuroticpanda, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 9:55, Reply)

I went to a hospital party dressed as a dirty old man
It was held in the theatre basement before all the PC bastards took the fun of of health work.

I was wearing an overcoat from the charity stall
and had the cut-off trousers underneath, a bit of false grey hair on the mug and a pocket full of jelly-beans.

Add a gruff voice and proposition the Nurses and I was doing all right.

Then a domestic with big tits sat on my lap and asked for sweeties. She proceeded to follow me and sat on my lap whenever she could. I didn't mind too much at the time.

It was during an extended session when she was wriggling extensively on my lap, when the senior nurse informed me that her husband was just out of jail for GBH as a result of a jealous fight in A&E that I got scared off.

What was weird is I discovered the entire Orthopaedic team (forget rugger heros) were gay and got propositioned and felt up 3 times and the scrub nurse came with a sterile green towel over her from a Lithotomy gynae operation (legs apart on stirrups), with her head through the 'vaginal opening' and announced she was Miss D&C !
(A uteral scrape to youse guys)

Her make up was the best - mostly red !

The female registrar (Dr) got 1st prize, for being an Xmas tree in a tight skimpy outfit, because no-one could find the battery for the lights!
(chrisjw, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 9:17, Reply)

Oops
Had no idea it was a fancy dress party, was wearing my usual leather pants, riding boots, t-shirt and leather jacket.
Told everyone I was a rent boy.

Made £50 at the bus station on the way home.
(cargo, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 7:41, Reply)

the usual
me and 4 mates went to a party as the A-Team. I was unfortunately forced to be "Amy"... I wouldn't have minded if not for the fact that our Mr. T wouldn't even black up... pah!
(blackfacedfightinggibbon, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 6:24, Reply)

Arrrrr Matie!
Our christmas work do had a pirate theme, which was all good and jolly, although no one told us what the activities for the day were going to be until be got to the hotel where the party was......it was a 'treasure hunt' through the CBD....cue half a dozen drunken pirates stumbling through the Auckland CBD harrassing people, bliss
(spike spiegel, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 5:18, Reply)

Mardi Gras.
My fancy dress was more of my own, fashionable sense whilst at Mardi Gras, New Orleans 2003.

A fucking wedding dress...All the other blokes wore matching yellow dresses, but, those didn't really suit me and to the envy of all women, fit nicely in to a size 10uk wedding dress...

That was all well and good, it fit nicely, went well with the clear plastic high heels, but had nowhere to put the cash I was carrying. Was quite handy though to wear brogs/kacks/underwears.

That was fine.

Travelling home wasn't. I was pissed. Got back to the bus - can't find clothes.

So, I go to bed in the dress.

Wake up in Texas. For a toilet break. I just think it is a rest stop. It is. For fucking truckers. At 3 fucking o'clock in the bastard morning.

Well, I needed to go...So, fuck it...I walk in, go to the toilets and there is one cubicle. Taken. Two urinals. One free. One not occupied. Indeed, it is actually 6ft 7 brickshithouseredneckmotherfucker definately NOT free.

Fuck it I think. Hike up the dress. I know the guy is looking over me. No stage fright, but this little voice going "you'll never get out of here ALIVE".

He leaves.

I finish.

I come out to see 6 similar truckerfuckers.

"Shee-yat...That fuckers wearin' a fuckin' dress"

"Are you wearin' that for muh-ne?" I get asked.

"No, just been to Mardi Gras" I reply.

"What the fucks that?"

"Only the biggest party IN THE WORLD" I say, pick up the hem of the dress and skip out of the truck stop, across the courtyard and get on the bus to see everyone staring at me.

Disbelief all around, but the next guy on the bus told us that the only reason I didn't get raped/stabbed/killed was that I was too blatant and bold that they didn't know how to react.

Thank God for beer.
(beatpig understands subliminalesbianmessagaying., Sun 15 Jan 2006, 1:58, Reply)

Poor ol' Teef
We have a mate, who has the biggest and most mank teeth ever. Let's call her 'Teef' to protect her true identity.
Well, last halloween, we threw a massive fancy dress party and all our mates were there. I was talking to a male friend of mine (Dave, who was dressed as Frankenstien's monster and had fake billy-bob teeth in), when Teef came bounding in grinning, dressed up all like Widow Twanky from a bad pantomime.
"Awight? Aren't u gonna introduce me to this handsome chap?" she says.
So I did: "Teef, this is Dave. Dave, this is Teef.."
There was a moments silence. Dave was aware of this and decided to ask Teef an ice-breaker question; "Teef, those teeth you got in are terrific. They look so realistic! Mine look really fake and keep falling out! I must ask you where you got yours from?"

Teef looked at him tearfully and walked off quickly.
"What happened there?" asked Dave.
I explained and watched him do a kinda "Damn" face.

Oh, and I think being dressed like a bad panto character is more embarassing than having bad teeth!
(caspia_ren, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 0:36, Reply)

I've only done it once, as Ragged Robin from The Invisibles.
The red facepaint ran and I had to go over it in white and that meant that I ended up pink and then my dress was just plain shit due to my lack of tits.

So I stayed at home and cried instead.
( Reid got it going on like Donkey Kong, Sun 15 Jan 2006, 0:10, Reply)

A friend....
I was discussing fancy dress with a work friend today, hoping to get a decent anecdote for this week. I was not disappointed.

Apparently, he went to his sister's house on Halloween for a party - and also for a chance to meet his sister's new boyfriend.

Obviously, everyone is in fancy dress. He decides to go as a ghost. Obviously not content with just the full body sheet, he uses an old pillow case for the ghost's face, cutting two eyes out.

His sister's boyfriend was black.

He looked like a member of the Ku Klux Klan.

/edit: Oh my! Just read pixel's post and his story is pretty much the same as mine. Perhaps this story would have been more fitting in last week's QOTW, urban legends
(wonderbrawl was pronounced dead on, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 19:40, Reply)

Jesters
For non-British readers, Young Enterprise is a cruel system where schools force young impressional teenagers to form their own businesses. At sixth form our business sold really shit "stress relievers" which were basically balloons filled with dough that exploded all over the lower school building (much to our secret delight), the company mascot was a jester and our team kindly voted me to dress up as a jester to sell these repugnant things in our local bus station. Thus on a Saturday afternoon I was forced to wear a red mini dress with green shorts, blue tights and a jester's hat with my cheeks painted a lovely rosy red selling these wank little presents. To top it all, not only did half my school come to laugh at me, the local newspaper thought it would be wonderful to photograph me for a feature on small businesses. NOT a good day!
(standardcrow, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 19:36, Reply)

Well...
Hockey Mask with eye and mouth holes and a leather strap.
Red hoody.
Red trousers.
Black leather belt.
Brown shoes.

= Instant Shyguy!

Too bad no one knew what the fuck I was meant to be.
( Lightguy hail satan, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 19:12, Reply)

Halloween in my area is notoriously cheap
To my shame I've been a party to it.
One year I attempted to get a costume ready a few weeks beforehand, wanting to beat my friends of course and win a few cool points. But I fudged it, badly.
The paper mache "Predator" mask was still wet from the painting by the time Halloween night came around. Watercolours eh? Who knew they'd run in the rain. The lumpy substance covering my head after an hour of soaking resembled a giant white turd and my mates had great fun pulling off the imitation dreadlocks.
The rest of my costume consisted of a black bin bag...
Which I tied around my face to become a makeshift "ninja" regaining only a small amount of credibility.
I still made a tenner from gullible old people though.
(Suddenly, zebras Safe and sound for eternity, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 19:06, Reply)

Scary, but for the wrong reason.
My mate has huge birthday bashes every year. On her 16th, she had a fancy-dress do. You had your usual pirates/cowboys, but there was one unfortunate chap who decided to come as a ghost. Rather then just going for the sheet-over-the-head-with-eyeholes, he'd gone more of a tunic and hood look. Exactly like a member of the KKK. He stood in the corner, alone, for the first hour while we all gave him strange looks.

Then he took off the hood and told everyone he was dressed as Jesus
(Pixel, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 18:30, Reply)

Quick and dirty
I think it was the end of our first year at Bath uni, there was a music-based fancy dress night (hairy men in skirts and boob tubes being Britney, that sort of thing). Anyway, 3 of us hadn't bothered making costumes then about half an hour before going out we're having a few beers and find out that the other 15 or so people in our house have all got costumes.

Brainstorming began immediately, and in a beer-instant we came up with a work of genius. We each got a sheet of paper wrote a big 'M' on it and stuck it to our tshirts.


Got it yet?


M People!


And in a double whammy of coincidence it still worked if there were only 2 of us present - Eminem!

Like I said, quick and dirty, but I blame the beer.
(jonh, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 18:25, Reply)

Chavs
Fancy dress party at my halls of residence, I'd completely forgotten me and my mates were meant to be going. 20 mins before we leave I manage to scrounge up some chavvy dress. I then proceed to spend the night being asked if I normally dress like that. Oh, the shame I felt.

y' star''in?
(Herr Dimitri For Truth, Justice and Fluffeh Tiem!, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 18:22, Reply)

Theme: invertebrates.


What am I then (other than pissed up)?

(note: my dress is in no way fancy, or any clue to what I am meant to represent.)

(note also: drawing with a trackpad is HARD.)
(RowdsterDelux, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 17:52, Reply)

Won £10 in Virgin vouchers
a few years ago at a youth club I went to at the time for being best dressed at a 60's-70's night. Had my own blue tie-dye t-shirt and homemade flared trousers, and looked damn good if I say so myself.

Went to a party at my union as Austin Powers last Halloween, as suggested by my friends, probably more because of the suitability of my teeth to the role than anything else. Had a nice chat with a chap who happened to be wearing exactly the same costume that evening though. Woke up with a hang-over and a traffic cone in my room...
(Graz Da Frog, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 17:43, Reply)

Bondage
Bondage themed bop (that's Oxford for rubbish fancy dress party) I went as a gimp master with my friend Danny on a leash.

When asked for tickets, I unzipped Danny's mouth and said "speak gimp"

I was amused - although I got so drunk that night I sat in a wheelchair whilst Danny did the computer Hawkings voice so it looked liek I was really saying it. Ah happy days.
( WormuIus, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 15:34, Reply)

I once went to a party dressed as a giant squid.


I hasten to add that this was not because giant_squid is my b3ta user name. Giant squids were a running joke between my friends. My b3ta user name was a consequence of that.
( giant_squid, Sat 14 Jan 2006, 15:33, Reply)