I wonder if he bought it special?
To bring it on topic, i usually buy this paper on impulse, particularly with headlines like this....

www.greenocktelegraph.co.uk/news/greenock/articles/2009/05/22/387727-man-battered-with-tin-of-dog-food/

Greenock, what a fucking hell-hole.

You could do worse than checking this site every few days, it is a total voyeuristic window into the insane and filthy void that is Greenock, and its cancerous runt of a twin, Port Glasgow.

Rot in hell, the fucking lot of them.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 22 May 2009, 13:51, 6 replies)

Lovely place, it seems.
Although everyone appears to have swine flu.

Also, the Megastars talent show story is pure Phoenix Nights...

'After some confusion on stage, it was decided that both girls would take away the title this year.'

Genius.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Fri 22 May 2009, 16:09, closed)

Unfortunately i live in Greenock
Believe me, it is much worse than any newspaper can convey.


At least we have Catman though!
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Sat 23 May 2009, 1:41, closed)

really....?
how is it?
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Sun 24 May 2009, 2:46, closed)

For some, a headline.
For others, a recipe.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sat 23 May 2009, 6:13, closed)

Fuck me
You're obviously from Paisley you smelly junky tramp.

Cunt :O)
(Zutroy started without you, Mon 25 May 2009, 3:50, closed)

No mate,
I was born and dragged up in the fucking hovel that is Inverclyde.

Thank fuck i only have to visit the open wound that is greenock and port glasgow once in a blue moon, and when i do i get involuntary shakes and 'teh fear'.

If there was such a thing as an entrance to hell, it would be located somewhere down there....

Personally i think there is a evil force permeating from the very rocks themselves...Normal people can go live there and end up like one of the locals, embittered, twisted and fearful of the outside world....and if you are born there, and don't leave soon enough, you never will.

Condemned to live your life consumed by apathy and fucking cancer.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 27 May 2009, 13:14, closed)