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This is a question Kids

Either you love 'em or you hate 'em. Or in the case of Fred West - both. Tell us your ankle-biter stories.

(, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 15:10)
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I have little day to day contact with children
but one instance that does stick in the mind happened a few months ago.

I was at my desk wading through technical inquiries when my desk phone rang. I picked it up and answered it. I was greeted with a small querulous voice of a boy or about 11 or 12 years of age.

BOY "Err, my father owns a pair of your *********** loudspeakers (name removed to protect my anonymity) (3500) and the tweeter has been dinged, is a replacement available and how much is it?

ME "Could you define *dinged*?"

BOY "Well it had a football hit it and crumple the front quite badly."

ME (imagining the limb numbing panic that is likely coursing through his veins) "I see. Looking at the parts list here, I have them in stock- its 260 plus shipping. The chances are that the dealer will need to fit it however."

BOY- in tiny voice. "Oh."

And with that he starts to cry.

ME- "Am I to assume that your father isn't aware of the damage and probably had some strong views about footballs in the vicinity of his hifi?"

BOY- "He's back tomorrow- oh God he's going to kill me."

ME- "Generally parents don't kill their offspring."

BOY- "You don't understand, he loves those speakers. There must be something you can do."

ME- "Do you have any money at all?"

BOY- "I have 40 as an allowance for the holidays."

ME "And where are you?"

BOY "I'm in *****" (As it turned out, not a million miles from a dealer friend of mine).

Pause

ME "OK- This is what I am going to do as I have been in this position myself. I am going to ship the part free. I am going to contact a friend of mine where I suspect the speakers came from and he will come and fit the part. You are going to have to give him the 40. This will mean it is a very expensive game of football but you may escape with your life. There is one other thing you will have to do though."

BOY- *sniffs* What is it?

ME- "You're going to have to tell your Dad what happened."

BOY- "But, but he doesn't have to find out."

ME- "But then however there would be no repercussions and no lesson learned. In telling him, you can show that through creative thinking- and crying, you got the problem sorted at your expense."

BOY- "How would you know if I don't?"

ME- "I have your name and house address. I can check. Besides your Dad will ask where the 40 went."

BOY- "Oh."

Details were confirmed and my friend went and fitted the tweeter the following morning. Some days later a package with letter arrived from the boy's father.

Dear Mr Hatred,
Just a quick note to say I received ****'s blubbing confession as per your instructions on my return. I was sufficiently impressed at his ingenuity to spare his life although he is unlikely to see daylight again in 2008.

Enclosed is further proof of a satisfactory resolution to this unfortunate event.

Regards
X

It was a popped football.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:11, closed)
Fantastic
*clicks*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:17, closed)
That is a wonderful story
*Big click*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:18, closed)
The mix of compassion & humanity, in this story
Are delightfully offset by the bitter tinge of regret and consequence.

Therefore I like it.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:19, closed)
T'riffic
*click*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:49, closed)
Nice!
*clicks*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 13:51, closed)
perfect
*click*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:02, closed)
Aw, I love this!
Click!
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:02, closed)
fuck yeah!
CLLLLLLLLLICK!
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 14:50, closed)
*smiles*
*clicks*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:03, closed)
This line alone
"But then however there would be no repercussions and no lesson learned. In telling him, you can show that through creative thinking- and crying, you got the problem sorted at your expense."

Makes it for me!
Fantastic story!
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:18, closed)
Spot On
"I was sufficiently impressed at his ingenuity to spare his life although he is unlikely to see daylight again in 2008."

Good restraint there as well.

*Clicky*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 15:32, closed)
fecking awesome
*click*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 18:18, closed)
wonderful.
*click*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 19:07, closed)
Nice one....
....I like your style! *Click*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 20:08, closed)

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