Hitting my GF in the face
with toys I should add.

First one was messing in the sitting room after Christmas and i had one of those flying monkeys with elastic for arms you can shoot across the room.

She was bent over and i drew back aiming for her ass.

Just as I was about to fire it she turned around and stood up, I can't explain how or why but my aim followed her movement and in perfect timing as she looked at me the monkey flew.

At this stage neither of us knew the full workings of said monkey and only now discovered its SCREEEEEEEEECH as it flies through the air.

The look of panic/confusion on her face as it clocked her perfect was priceless. i doubled over laughing so hard as she remained standing mouth open speechless.

Then there was the time i found an airzooka in a toy shop.

heh i've always wanted a go with one of these I thought and looked around. Seeing my girlfriend nearby I call to her and she looks my way

THUNK

the blast hit her quite a lot harder than i was expecting it to, knocking her back in shock while blowing her hair magnificently behind her.

Cue hysterics from me and a look that would curdle milk from her.

Worth it

Length? about 5 foot away each time
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Tue 11 Dec 2012, 8:06, 7 replies)

Classy.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 11 Dec 2012, 8:30, closed)

Humiliating and degrading women is hilarious.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 11 Dec 2012, 10:57, closed)

Especially
in public.
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Tue 11 Dec 2012, 11:14, closed)

Looking forward to the single life, bucko?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 11 Dec 2012, 11:51, closed)

Somehow
she still puts up with me!

I think she settled.
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Tue 11 Dec 2012, 14:22, closed)

"I've paid for it now I may as well keep it."?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 11 Dec 2012, 20:58, closed)

Thai Husbands is always a hit and miss affair.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 12:00, closed)

I read the second line and thought this was an EMV post, then I read the first line and dismissed the idea of him having a girlfriend as too farfetched.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Tue 11 Dec 2012, 13:02, closed)

I use my cock.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 11 Dec 2012, 17:25, closed)

how far can you throw it?

(likeajackhammer, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 13:45, closed)

I have an airzooka
My cat LOVES it... Sort of.
( Maffers I flow kinda strange like Spina Bifida footprints, Wed 12 Dec 2012, 11:55, closed)

It sounds like the time
I punched my girlfriend square in the jaw and I went to prison.
(Maverickjames 's name is not James, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 2:12, closed)

Your mistake
was not using a childs toy.
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 9:20, closed)