Albert, if you're in Miami then how come you've been using a UK internet connection?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:43, 49 replies)

he seems like something of an idiot

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:47, closed)

I dunno why he lies to try and impress people he'll never meet.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:48, closed)

as a great man once observed
he seems like something of an idiot
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:49, closed)

he's a creepy rapist

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:50, closed)

quite ... but at least his children are imaginary

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:51, closed)

Albert Marshmallow pimps out his children.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:51, closed)

To be fair... bollocks yr right.

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Mon 1 Sep 2014, 22:33, closed)

I misheard

(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Mon 1 Sep 2014, 22:34, closed)

I misheard my ex wife's demands.
That my ex-wife #1 was a money grabbing bitch. Hah, ha irony was that she got nowt, but was then in debt trying to get what little I didn't have.
(Master_Slob UK minister for cultural appropriation., Mon 1 Sep 2014, 22:38, closed)

s1.postimg.org/pi57ijjm7/image.jpg
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:57, closed)

Why are you so desperate for people to believe you?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 19:59, closed)

he seems like something of an idiot

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:00, closed)

It amuses me.

Poor old Dr S setup a whole trackable, super-coded, expert hacker Assange style patch...but he still thinks I'm in the uk.

Ocean is calling. This is Hemingway country and I intend to live that lifestyle for a little while longer.

AM x
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:05, closed)

nobody thinks you're in the uk
but I know you were last week

dunno why you decided to transform a short business trip into an extended holiday with your imaginary family to impress strangers on the internet ... that's creepy fucking shit right there
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:08, closed)

It doesn't even compare to your stalking of me. Tracking me round the world with your super-sleuth IP tracers.

Full Fairholme right there. Ouch.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:14, closed)

fair enough ... your standard of "super sleuth" is clearly waaaay lower than mine
but why did you claim to be taking a three week holiday when you weren't? you must admit that's pretty fucking odd
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:17, closed)

Odd?

No. I'm taking a three week holiday.

What's 'odd' is being tracked across the globe by a weirdo who's so intent on catching me out, that he spent days coding a tracing device to prove my location.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:36, closed)

I sent you a link ... it took about fifteen seconds.
Are we changing the story now? Your three week holiday only just started ... is that it? Not the other week when you announced it and went radio silent? Roger roger.

Fair enough. At least the embarrassment will keep you quiet for a few more weeks.

Send us a picture of your 15hp boat if you like. That must be amazeballs.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:38, closed)

My imaginary trip, to my imaginary Florida home, on an imaginary plane with my imaginary family has obviously upset you greatly.

Now I'm going for an imaginary swim and an imaginary beer with my imaginary friends. One of whom has leant me an imaginary Escalade, which I'll drive to an imaginary restaurant and have an imaginary meal.

I'm here on an imaginary business trip, which I have indeed extended into an imaginary family holiday for an imaginary three weeks.

Imagine that.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:48, closed)

you've been busted, pudding
enjoy your business trip
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:50, closed)

You may be on a trip,
in Florida, been on a plane, with family, swam, drunk beer, gone to a restaurant, eaten, been driving an Escalator...

...but your friends are most definately imaginary
( A Rory Borealis here under duress, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 12:57, closed)

what I really admire about Hemingway is how he announces he's going for a walk and then sulks in his hotel room whining on the internet

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:43, closed)

Amazing thing this mobile internet. Not arrived in Stoke yet?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:49, closed)

it's like you've already forgotten the bit about me tracking your IP
mnnnnnnnnnng
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:51, closed)

Yes.

And if it was really working, you'd see wifi in Aventura moving to EE network in the states...or whichever carrier they use.

Back to the basement...more coding to be done! Take a few more days this time...you've obviously not cracked it.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:54, closed)

you left six minutes ago

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:56, closed)

Impressed again.

Took longer than I thought to organise the kids. Hoping for a tuna this afternoon...it is the season but we've come up dry so far.

Last week they caught one and sliced it on the boat, we had sashimi with just a squirt of lime. Heaven.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:00, closed)

last week you were in the uk, you ridiculous fantasist

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:02, closed)

Yes dear, that's right.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:06, closed)

I know it is.
What I'm genuinely struggling with is why? Why make up a family holiday to somewhere awful?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:08, closed)

You're right. We should have gone to the Travelodge in Stoke.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:16, closed)

the more you keep announcing you're leaving then posting again, the more convinced everybody is that you're on holiday with your loving family and not on a lonely business trip
honest
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:18, closed)

I've left. And amazingly I brought my phone with me.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:25, closed)

but not your parenting skills

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:27, closed)

Says Mr 'leave them with the au-pair whilst we go and take massive drugs in a tent in a wet field in Stoke'.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:28, closed)

my kids exist ... a subtle but important difference

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:34, closed)

Would you guys
Just fuck each other so we don't have to bear witness to your bizarre courtship?
(RebelWithoutApplause My underestimation will almost be the death of me, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 10:35, closed)

Something, something, seven proxies, no doubt.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:55, closed)

the sad thing is, he's wasted two weeks of qftw bobby bullshit time pretending to already be there
and now he has to waste another two weeks pretending to still be there when he gets back

Five weeks without a chance to mention his moped fortunes

:(
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 20:58, closed)

Keep checking the IPs...I'm back Friday week.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:01, closed)

You claimed to be leaving two weeks ago. At least get the basic arithmetic of your fantasies right.
This is as bad as the time you forgot how many houses you were selling.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:04, closed)

Off now. Will post again in 10 days. And you can do the math.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:08, closed)

Next Thursday.
Christ. You failed primary school.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:09, closed)

I'll post on the Friday too. Fire up the international-superdetecor...
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 21:17, closed)

Ah yeah. Bonzer mate. This place would only have you and AB if it wasn't for Al, Emvee and reasonable house. I'd like to see your skills used on the pre-eminent legal property law and $3billion marketing man autisms. I'd have used the pound sign....but what would be the point?
G'day.
(Bum Bag Fashion Boy Burned a home made pizza on, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 10:42, closed)

There are absolutely no posts by other people that you won't jump on and repeat rather than come up with an original sentence, are there?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 23:24, closed)

are you two divorced or just separated?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Sep 2014, 23:32, closed)

Do you have an alarm that rings when anyone posts on here?!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 8:29, closed)

yes
I've not used it for years by it should still work. You can have the source code if you're worried you're missing anything.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Sep 2014, 9:03, closed)