I collect...
Spores, mould and fungus.







/Egon Spengler
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:21, Reply)

"I HAM A PERVERT!"
I collect those cards you get in London Phoneboxes (you know the ones, nudge nudge, wink wink). My friends are convinced I'm a pervert because of it. The reason I began collecting them was that a few years ago they were talking about legislation banning them, so I figured I might as well get a little collection going in case they disappear altogether - I rationalise this by saying they're "a unique british artform".
It became a staple that whenever I went to London, I'd scour phoneboxes looking for them.
I don't know if anyone else collects them, but if they do PM me for swapsies.
(mcnelson, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:08, Reply)

I collect...
Psycho Ex-Girlfriends. Doing quite well have a good dozen or so! My favorites include:
- Ran off with my best mate and tried to blame it on my parents!
- Said "Yes" to the will you marry me question then tried to deny all knowledge of the question.
- One that phones me up from time to time to ask if I want to fly half way across the world for really quite rubbish sex.

And I'm working on this new one...she's so attention seeking I can't even play World Of Warcraft with out her trying to cuddle me. Damn her! I have Murlocs to kill!
(TeabagSalad Never teabag a troll, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:03, Reply)

Packing my bags
I have an extensive collection of aeroplane sick bags. Originally I only collected from flights that I made myself but after a while other people collected some for me. I have about a thousand now from all around the globe stretching back about twenty five years. I am however going to have to dispose of the older ones as some of them are starting to leak a bit.
(bananaking, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 13:00, Reply)

Snails & Pencil Shavings.
It was all my friends idea, and I now believe she made a hobby of seeing what wierd things she could make me collect. I had a "Peanuts" lunchbox and lots of jars full of pencil shavings, at school me and said friend would ask people to "donate" by sharpening their pencils into one of the jars. WHYYYYYY!??? I had to stop collecting snails after I left the lid off the box and they all escaped.... I was finding them in odd places around my bedroom for months :( I also had quite a collection of little hippos that you can put on the end of pencils. *proud*
(Girlbear, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:59, Reply)

I think I'll get some breakfast before I start typing
Anyway...

I collect:
Model cars: Around a thousand
Model aircraft: About 200 in various shapes and sizes
Music: A few thousand tracks on my computer, as well as over a hundred CDs
Guitars: 3 acoustic guitars, but I want to buy some electric guitars too
Computer games: A few dozen
Pens: A few hundred
Books: Over 200
-Tintin books: 11/25
Computers: 2 1/2
Lego: Lots
K'nex: Lots
Board games: A few dozen
Train tickets: Hundreds

I used to also have a few dozen copies of Top Gear Magazine, but I threw them away :(

I will add more stuff to this post later if I can work out why I collect all this rubbish
( davew27 hevosen kuva!, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:54, Reply)

Ladies clothes
I have a fine collection of ladies clothes, shoes and handbags - in fact all of my wages go on them. I say it's my collection, but generally my wife and daughter do the purchasing and wearing, I just have the honour of paying.

Thus I have no other collections due to lack of funds.
(RickGrimes Quite frankly, disappointed on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:30, Reply)

oh dear
My flat looks like a record shop.
I am currently collecting the following genres: old skool rap, 80s electro, 60s psychedelia and garage, old skool rave, 70s heavy rock, reggae 45s, 70s US punk and 60s/70s funk. All are sorted by genre and I have to catalogue them all for insurance purposes - however there are literally thousands and thousands of them and I cannot take the six months off work required to do this.
I also collect kung fu films (I must have arond 100) and music dvds, trainers (36 pairs so far) and antique weapons. *edit* and books on rock history.
All very stupid given that my flat is the size of a (child's) shoebox.

I am a knob.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:27, Reply)

Albums
I collect music, if I spot an album which catches my eye, I have to buy it, even if I've never heard of the artist.

At the last count, which my girlfriend made me do, I had in excess of 4000 separate albums.

My spare room is stacked with vinyl, tape and CD storage boxes.

Sad thing is I only have about 50 odd Albums I play regularly, the rest just sit there gathering dust.
(hudster, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:22, Reply)

Hoarding is a word that scares me...
...my late grandad was an engineer all his life and obviously felt that ANYTHING "could" be useful. So upon his death we had to clear the house and worse still the loft...

... we found pretty much every electrical appliance he'd ever owned, along with what I suspect may be every magazine he'd ever bought. No less than 150 albums of stamps (sold at auction, including every "first day cover" for 50 years). It went on and on. Even encompassing the remnants of some projects he'd worked on in the past such as an early plastic explosive (buried it!) and a working steam train about 2 ft long.

Most was junk so we had to take it to the tip by car. I kid you not we loaded the car full, making multiple trips all day every saturday and sunday for 8 weeks. I reckon we made just over 100 trips. It got to the point we were friendly with the guy at the tip who would pretty much unload the car for us to see what we had.

Subsequently my mum is SO terrified of accumulating "stuff" she has hardly any furniture, allows NOTHING to be put in the loft at all. Only gets books from the library and regularly turns out the cupboard etc.

She's pretty much told me her aim is that when she dies we can put everything in 1 cardboard box and drop it off at the charity shop. At least it's gonna make my job easier!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:21, Reply)

The Don
At most places I work I acquire an apprentice and this is the tale of Don, my apprentice from a large insurance company.

Don was young black kid. Early 20's and *very* good looking - lots of women were attracted to him. Apart from his looks he was also bright, personable and funny. An all-round decent chap.

One week a few of us had to fly up from London to Glasgow and do a bit of work up there. Don was one of the guys who came along. Now on these trips we always went out mob-handed - the visitors (us) and some locals from the Glasgow office and this trip was no different. So we went out on the lash with young Don with us.

We ended up in some God-forsaken nightclub where the Glasgow slappers were out in force. (there were some nice Glaswegians there as well but I digress). We were all a little merry but poor Don was ten sheets to the wind. He was arse-holed. He really couldn't handle his drink and he was pissed as a newt.

So one local moose, a really BIG girl, made a bee-line for poor drunken Don and within 30 minutes of us arriving at the club had hauled the poor lad away to her lair under the stairs. A couple of minutes late and she had whipped down his trousers and was proceeding to ride him like a Grand National jockey. In full view of his cheering workmates.

It's a crying shame that this was before the advent of digital cameras and phones but there you go.

But this QOTW is about collecting things isn't it and you think I'm straying off topic? Ah, but no....

You see, when we got back to London HQ where we worked this tale spread like wild-fire around the company. And then they started to appear. Pigs. In a very short time various different stuffed pigs started to appear on Dons desk along with little notes:

"I heard how much you loved pigs. Saw this and thought of you!"

After a couple of weeks he dozens of the things all lined up in his workspace.

He also managed to collect a new nickname that still hasn't worn off.

Don The Pig-Sticker.

Cheers all
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:20, Reply)

It's my first clit stimulator!
On my first night in the union bar at music college, I ended up hanging around with a bunch of singers, none of whom I had met before. For the most part they were rowdy boys, there was much imbibing of alcoholic beverages, all good fun. After a while, one of their friends arrives. She’s a six-foot-tall, sixteen stone goth called Bex. When I say she was a goth, I don’t mean in a sort of Emo kid kind of way. I mean black from head to foot, caked on white make-up, black lipstick, she even carried a rucksack shaped like a coffin. She looked like the love child of Marilyn Manson and Frank N Furter. Bex, on this occasion, was carrying a brown paper bag, the contents of which she was very keen to share.

It was a massive purple vibrator. It had prongs. She passed it round the table for our inspection and admiration. She was obviously very pleased with it. “I’m SO excited. I’ve never had one with a clit stimulator before. I can’t wait to get home and try it out!” It looked like an instrument of medieval torture.

“So you’ve got more than one of these things?” I said, trying to make polite conversation.

“Oh yeah, I collect them, this is my fifth. Did I tell you it’s my first one with a clit stimulator?”

For the next four years, every time I saw Bex I just couldn’t get the mental image of all of these neon phalluses proudly displayed on her shelf at home out of my head. I suppose it beats stamps.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:13, Reply)

penrose . . .
I have one of those "Mischief Managed" T-shirts. I'm 31.

Collecting story:
I like the toys one gets in Kinder Surprises, and at one stage had a drawer full (whilst at Uni - 20-24 years old).

I am a grown-up, I just don't necessarily behave like one :)
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:12, Reply)

O and by the way , Flibbley
Telling people about your relations urine collection is not the way to make friends. I can say this from a loving place...x
(Siouxfan I'm not staring at you, I am just short sighted, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:11, Reply)

let's see
Amicus films - mainly from 60s/70's
Hammer Films and TV series 60's/70's
Tales of the Unexpected
Thriller - from 70's (got all of them now)
Carry On films (few missing)
Sci fi films (50's and 60's)

dust.
(Siouxfan I'm not staring at you, I am just short sighted, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:10, Reply)

Model Behaviour
A while back, one of my friends had a small collection of rudimentary assembled lego toys on top of his wardrobe. Now, we're not talking impressive things like the Millennium Falcon or somesuch, we're talking about four wheels and a windscreen hastily slapped together to look vaguely like a car. This may have been normal if we were toddlers, but we were nearly twenty. So, while he was out of the room getting us a drink I did the obvious and took them all apart and feverishly rebuilt them into something resembling a pixelated cock and balls (with wheels and a windscreen!). On his return I sat giggling like a retard, refusing to tell him what was so funny. He was rather exasperated by the time he followed my occasional glance and saw the lego member sitting proubly on top of his cupboard. I expected him to at least smile but he turned round and looked at me as if I'd just suggested some casual rape fun with his mother.

"What?" I asked.
"My lego!" He squealed with tears in his eyes and I started to get a little worried. "They were the first things I ever built! I was three! My mother kept them for me! They've not been touched in 16 years!" He finished, now openly crying.

I swallowed hard and then should have just waited forlornly for the ground to swallow me up after merrily destroying his childhood in two minutes of misguided mirth. Instead I felt my mouth open and heard myself say, "You don't like the cock then?"
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:10, Reply)

Nuts!
I collect Nuts through the winter!
(Pretty much the same as "B3ta" does)

Love Squirrel Nutkins
(morrigan456 made sex wee on, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 12:00, Reply)

I collect nothing, almost
I used to be a serious, serious hoarder. My Grandmother started me off when I was about six by "tidying my room" and burning all my treasured comics and any other flammable objects she could find. After that I couldn't bear to throw anything away and started accumulating collections of anything that came in my direction.
By the time I left university the objects I had gathered would have filled a lorry, though I didn't own anything as substantial as furniture. It was around this point that I found myself living in Prague with my precious belongings gathering dust in a huge locker in a storage facility in the UK. Over the next couple of years I lived out of a rucksack and when I returned I just looked at the piles of crap (and the huge storage bill) and said "fuck it". 50% went in the bins, 30% to charity shops, 15% was worth selling on ebay and the kernel of memories that were left I taped up and put in my mum's loft. Honestly it's made me a lot happier - it's like a weight has been lifted from my life, especially the responsibility of having to pay safestore every two weeks. I might still have a music collection, though it now exists as fifteen dvds full of mp3s, and I can put it in my pocket.

Sorry for length, and possible boringness.
( Zuowan, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:59, Reply)

Fuses
I'm collecting fuses. 5 amp ones to be exact.

Bear with me.

There's a guy who annoys me so I'm hoiking the fuse out of his laptop's power supply every time he gets a new power supply.

I've got 4 so far and the look on his face is priceless.

Is that wrong?

If anyone asks - this is all an "alleged" story.

Length - Check. Girth - Check. Ready to go - Check. Now hold still....
(james_tiger_woods is going to start his killing spree on the, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:52, Reply)

Please don't laugh...
I seem to have become rather obsessed with the whole Harry Potter thing. My collection (obviously I tell people it's my Daughter's) stands at:

"Proper stuff"
Original Pinewood Studios Stunt Crew Jacket from HP1 film
Movie trailer reels x 2 for HP2
Crew T-Shirt from HP4 movie
Wrap party pocket watch from HP4
One of Daniel Radcliffe's cloaks from HP1
Numerous signed photos of all of the cast
A press pack from the HP4 premiere

Merchandise
4 replica wands
1 Wand stand
3 watches
1 replica time turner
1 "Mischief Managed" T Shirt
Countless badges
1 Diamond Lightening Scar necklace
1 paid of diamond Lightening scar earrings
1 Time Turner necklace
Harry Potter Top Trumps
Harry potter DVD game

What I Havn't got

1 Life

BTW - I'm 37
(penrose your dog's got tits, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:49, Reply)

Taking the piss
My family are generally strange and tend towards the obsessive compulsive, no more so than my uncle who upon shuffling off his mortal coil was found to have been collecting his own piss.

In 1 litre pop bottles… In his spare room.

According to my Ma the ‘collection’ was supremely impressive.
(flibbley lame balloon man far and wee, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:40, Reply)

I'f I wasn't so cool I would collect
Anything to do with Spongebob Squarepants
Anything with cats on them, cups, posters, figurines, notebooks etc
Pictures of Eddie Izzard
Tiny japanese figures, (netsuke)?
Small silver things
Box sets of science fiction television series like Firefly etc
Badges with topless nuns on
Pottery from the Scottish Isles
1970's creative hobby magazines


I think that's it!
( girlinthehole, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:35, Reply)

I collected.....
..animal testicles from all over the world.
My puff-adder specimen is quite a site.
And the African Elephants gonads make my display cabinet sag in the middle.
Mind you I used its ball-sack to re-upholster my sofa.
(LunarJim, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:30, Reply)

A friend of mine
at university was studying human biology. Apparently on your first day there you get introduced to the human corpse that you will be dissecting for the rest of the year. Nice.

The lab morgue had space for 10 bodies. There were 12 students on the course. Fortunately they found you could jam another couple of bodies in if they sawed them in half at the waist. Kids, do not donate your bodies to medical science - bits of you will be used for practical jokes by pissed up medical students.

The guy in charge of the lab had a collection. He kept it in an old tobacco tin in the freezer. It was a collection of nipples.
(Daveybaby, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:28, Reply)

Weak
Please insert generic collection/erection comic misunderstanding here,

With hilarious results!
(rockers74 killed a man in Reno just to watch him die., Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:28, Reply)

i just remembered about the geckos and the hedgehogs
years ago, my mother was the kind of person who'd start a collection. for someone else.

with me, it started with stuffed hedgehogs. she found one, thought it was cute, and bought it. and then gave it to me.

she then bought another one. which she gave to me.

then, apparently, because i collected them, she bought more. and more. and more. until i had something like 40 of them.

but then she got bored, and found those little sand-filled geckos. and bought me one of those. and then another. and another.

thing is, i kinda thought that the geckos were cool, so took it with me to school. where, in a physics lab, it was electrocuted, thrown, shot from a crudely put together rail gun, squashed, stamped on, and generally abused. at this point, apparently, the decision was made that i was obsessed with geckos.

so they started appearing everywhere.

computer backgrounds. pictures stuck to my locker (or just slid under the door). random gifts. email messages. people forwarding me news stories about them. it started a bloody religion - gecko worship. they can lick their own eyes, you know.

and in the meanwhile, i (according to my mother) was 'collecting' them. so she bought more of the buggers.

so in the end i gave up and thought sod it, and when i got to uni i named my radio show 'gecko worship for beginners' and went with the flow. even now, people still claim that i'm obsessed with geckos.

for the record, i'm not. it's just that everyone around me is instead.

but they are cool. i mean, how many animals can you think of use van der wahls forces to stick to stuff?
(blades is looking for a brain, any brain, at, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:20, Reply)

Bank of England
Since childhood I've been a keen collector of "bank of England gift vouchers".
At some time or other I've had all of them; £1, £5, £10, £20 and even the rare £50.

Trouble is I can't seem to hang onto them and frequently swap them for goods and services.

It's my dream to collect enough of them to swap for a house or exotic sports car.

You might like to collect them too but to non collecting folk they're just called "cash".
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:17, Reply)

Shot glasses and badges
I have a mighty collection of shot glasses from around the world (well...the U.S.A and the UK, anyway) - Back in the days of lots of usenet activity, I belonged to a general newsgroup and set up a trade - I would send out things like English Mustard and Hendersons Relish and what not to pals in the States, and in return they would send peanut butter candies and/or shot glasses. It worked out pretty good, too! Lots and lots of glasses, including some pretty funky Jack Daniels ones amongst many others! I've enhanced this collection on my own trips to the States and pretty much wherever I go in the UK, I pick up one as a souvineer.

When I was much younger (around 16 or so) I started to collect all the different types of Bourbon (and Jack Daniels) bottles I had emptied :-) That was a pretty impressive load of empty bottles there for a while, but in the end, they had to go.

I like Bourbon.

And Jack Daniels, too.

And I have loads of pin badges attached to a bag that I cart all of my guitar playing periphery around in.

I got badge but I'm not a badger.
(TC, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:16, Reply)

I have collected...
...my thoughts so as to write something interesting and funny.

And failed miserably.

So that's the last two QOTWs answered.
(eesnahk, Fri 12 Jan 2007, 11:12, Reply)