ox etter team
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:09, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

Well, that too

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:12, Reply)

Morning chap
How's you?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Not too bad thanks, you?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Yeah on the up cheers
Making paella tonight, I've decided. Any tips?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:28, Reply)

It needs chorizo and prawns etc, not sure how that will work for a veggie

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

She's out teaching this evening
Prawns I have, ditto mussels and squid, getting chorizo at lunchtime, and chicken. Have paella rice, stock, lemons, shallots, garlic, white wine. Chillies if I fancy them, which I will. What am I missing? Apart from saffron, which I'm hoping there's a cheaper alternative to.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:33, Reply)

Just use turmeric.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

That's what I usually do
Thank you both for the advice
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:37, Reply)

Saffron is only for coulour really, and you'll get some of that from the stock and chrozio

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:36, Reply)

It's not really .. it has a very specific delicate flavour
but it's not a deal-breaker.

If you're getting colour from your stock I should be quite scared, though...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

If you cook rice with nice stock it will give it some colour, not bright yellow saffron colour
but the rice won't be bright white
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:40, Reply)

well ... yeah.
I suppose that's strictly true. but it's not really colour like the paprika from chorizo, say.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I did roast potatoes with saffron once.
They were bloody lovely.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:52, Reply)

There isn't.
Although you can use tumeric if you just want the yellow colour.

It needs a bit of chilli, yes, also tomatoes and red pepper. Clams are better than mussels but much more of an arse to find.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:38, Reply)

If you're using squid, I believe that you either have to cook it very quickly, or very slowly.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:41, Reply)

very quickly.
Squid isn't great slow-cooked, although you can.

If they are baby squid, chop them into rings. If it's a full size bugger, split the body open once you've cleaned it, then run a dinner knife over the inside in a criss-cross pattern. cook it other side down for 45 secs then scored side down for 45 secs. It'll roll up into a tube, then slice it and throw it on top of the finished paella.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:46, Reply)

it will still be an inedible rubbery piece of shit though

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:53, Reply)

Nah, you just need to get fresh squid.
If it's fresh and it comes out rubbery you've cooked it totally wrong.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Cook the chorizo with a good glug of oil in the pan first
Then remove once it's done, that will give the next ingredients added a great colouring. I tend to go for chicken and chorizo, although next time I'm also going to include king prawns in there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:35, Reply)

Seafood is a must for me
I fucking love seafood. Thanks for the tip mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:38, Reply)

strictly paella is rabbit, snails and green vegetables
but that's getting ridiculously picky even for a ponce like me.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:41, Reply)

We've got fucking masses of snails in our back garden
Cheers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:49, Reply)

Not to worry

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:41, Reply)

I'M FINE. THANKS FOR ASKING

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:27, Reply)

No point asking the beakers
They'll tell you anyway

Look^
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:29, Reply)

Coming from the author of "The Squits: My Story" by Darth Foxtrot

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:30, Reply)

I never thought of publishing it
People will definitely want to read that, cheers mate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:31, Reply)

I thought this post from Fisto was an excerpt from it
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1441524
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Between this and the Mellor thing you are fast becoming the most disgusting human being ever

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:37, Reply)

That is some going in this place

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:39, Reply)

It was mostly the Mellor reference
Some things should be forgotten by everyone ever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Nov 2011, 10:47, Reply)