God no
it's only day two. If we don't fuck up for the next 3 days we might win this and draw the series overall but retain our world #1 status. Simple, yes? ;)

Which 20/20 game? It's a good crack. I've got tickets for the Lords Test on 20th May I think.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:22, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

you two are both too technical for me
i thought i was good because i understand the offside rule. but... 5 days? really? people sit and watch that for FIVE DAYS?

blimey.

i had to turn down the 20/20, would have been at middlesex though. one of the barristers i instruct takes a party there every year. are you coming to london for beers afterwards???
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:27, Reply)

Basically;
Applaud when a batsman goes out to the crease. Applaud when a four or six is scored (that's when the ball crosses the rope), even if it's not your team who've scored it, just polite. Applaud when a wicket is taken (ditto). Do NOT applaud a batsman who has just got out for a duck, you'll look sarcastic.

And lastly, don't chat up any cricketers, they're gentlemen who'll treat you with respect and won't spitroast you in a Travelodge, so are not really your type.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)

Mind you, Steve Davies is a little more Martha than Arthur.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:33, Reply)

I've often thought so
and we can smell our own
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:36, Reply)

Well, that and he very openly came out last year
but stick to your smell sense if it's working for you.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

I wasn't aware of that, embarrassingly
My gaydar is borderline flawless, it must be said
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:40, Reply)

Freddie Flintoff is a gentleman, is he?
I know gentlemen, *I'm* a gentleman. Freddie Flintoff is not.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:37, Reply)

Of course he is. He always lights a lady's farts for her.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

It's what's called a generalisation, dear
A sweeping statement, if you will. Possibly a reverse sweeping statement, in this context
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

more of a Dilstatement
I'll wager.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

That's a beautifully executed cover drive, Aggers

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

I was on thin ice with that one
I reckon there are maybe two people here that would have got it, so thanks for that..
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

In the mood I'm in today
I'm just grateful you're not calling me a bender or a cunt
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)

I wish I did. I have a feeling that I'm missing out.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)

you really aren't
but I can explain if you really want
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)

I, for one, am thorougly enjoying all this cricket talk
thoroughly enjoying seriously considering deleting my account and killing myself, thanks to
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:46, Reply)

I'm sure no-one here wants that, please don't
/mockers
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)

More cricket talk required ASAP

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:49, Reply)

it's about a billion times more interesting than homebrew chat

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:54, Reply)

I at least drink beer and can therefore relate to something in that
Cricket offers me nothing.
*racks brain*
Er... I like Soul Limbo by Booker T and the MGs.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)

nor me
but i am willing to learn.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

it was a bit of a Gambhle

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)

you?
hahahahaha

haaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahhaa.

ha.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

How. Rude.
I am the perfect gentleman, I'll have you know.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

you forget i have MET YOU

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

I get this a lot (every time)
and it never ceases to baffle me.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

so basically clap when everyone else claps
and get drunk?

i asked the lovely rakky why she likes cricket so much and she said: hot men and booze all day? what's not to like. good point.

eeeeeow, cheap-ass travelodge sex. worst of ALL teh sex.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:39, Reply)

Yes, basically, that'll do it
If it's a one-dayer you'll probably be able to get away with the odd raucous yell as the day wears on too
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

are you on about the cricket
or the pikey travelodge?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)

Hey swipe, you know I told you to fuck off commenting about me
because it made you look like a pathetic mental bitch?
You're doing it again
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

Darth started it
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1579565
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:45, Reply)

Yes, because Chompy is definitely the progenitor of Travelodge sex

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:47, Reply)

I haven't had to specifically tell Darth to leave me alone like a child.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:19, Reply)

why should a reference to being shitty and cheap-ass
make you think it was a reference to you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:56, Reply)

oh yeah
because you're shit and cheapass.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:57, Reply)

You're just making yourself look like a spastic
go away
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:20, Reply)

too far
and you know it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:32, Reply)

12 months of ignoring you didn't work
grow up.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:33, Reply)

let's try another 12.
YEARS.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:38, Reply)

Ah, Middlesex play their 20/20 at Staines or at Lords I think.
I dunno the plan yet. Depends on when we come down and what Mrs B is up to.

Most people don't actually watch for the 5 days. It's more about the event and the whole atmosphere, a la Ascot or similar
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:32, Reply)

i understand the crowd are slightly more civilised than football fans

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:41, Reply)

So is the Arab Spring

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:42, Reply)

well, yes.
I'll be in the member's pavillion at Lords so jacket and tie minimum I think, I'll need to check.

The plebs can wear what they like but it's pretty well behaved.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

but they let you in?
hmmm.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:43, Reply)

Of course.
I've the very model of refined-yet-rakish.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:44, Reply)

I think that's Kate Moss
Oh you didn't mean "looks like a rake" did you
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:48, Reply)

Kate Moss is about as refined as sugar cane.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:50, Reply)

Yeah I regretted that as soon as I posted it
but I genuinely cannot think of any other models who look like rakes. I'm aware that they exist but I don't know their names. I realise that this utterly buggers my meme and the stereotypes required to perpetuate it and would like to apologise to the board.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 14:52, Reply)

calista flockhart

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:00, Reply)

Not a model
Not especially refined either. American innit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:01, Reply)

She's a Ford Model

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

Calista Flockhart is so ugly she makes bats crash.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:02, Reply)

god, i'd have killed to look like her at one point
my bf at uni nearly creamed his crotch every time she came on the screen
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:03, Reply)

then he was gay or blind, sweetie.
For a start it looks like she's got another whole forehead on top of her normal one. that, or someone shrank all her features but left her head the same size.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:05, Reply)

or had a fetish for anorexic chicks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:06, Reply)

If he's going for anorexic chicks he could at least pick an attractive one.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:07, Reply)

like who?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:08, Reply)

John Prescott

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:09, Reply)

hubba hubba.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:17, Reply)

I dunno, I don't dig thin girls
but Calista Flockhart particularly looks like she's been set on fire and put out with the ugly bat. Errm, I dunno, Keira Knightly?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 4 Apr 2012, 15:17, Reply)