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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Gurning Nazi cunt thread is dead
I'm meeting chickenlady tonight for drinks, what is the rest of O/T up to later?

Alt: I am the artist formerly known as PJM. If you had to pick a new monniker what would it be?

Alt Alt: What's your worst Friday afternoon work beer experience?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:51, Reply)
your mum
to all of the above
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:54, Reply)
Hi "your mum"

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:55, Reply)
i think that would work
plus you'd have a grat reputation as everyone claims to have had your mum
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:56, Reply)
You slaaaaaaag

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:57, Reply)
Don't you live with chickenlady?
Alt:
Mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng

Alt Alt:
Having a 5 pinter then having to explain something technical to the MD
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:54, Reply)
I do...
...she's coming to Lahndahn for a pint with my colleagues.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Ahhh
I understand now
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:59, Reply)
and with any luck there will be sexehteim later once we get home

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:03, Reply)
I'm washing my hair, sorry

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Shit :-(

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)
I'm going to a pet shop,
I'm going to buy an aquarium heater to use in my homebrew, then dury rig something to keep it sealed in.
Then I'm going to the pub.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:55, Reply)
Use blockheads

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:56, Reply)
YOURE A BLOCKHEAD!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)
*hits sporty with a rhythm stick *

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Thanks Jeff
I knew you would get it
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Make sure it doesm't overheat.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)
thermostatic heater.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:09, Reply)
Alt: 'Queef Richards'
Alt alt: one which was actually a Thursday all-nighter that went 'straight through'. I don't drink during my working day.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:56, Reply)
I remember a particularly bad post-site day in Liverpool
where three of us had gone mental the night before. One of the worst possible things to happen to a Unix server happened and I had to fix it whilst sweating out vodka and shaking
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:57, Reply)
That's fucking inspired - you should adopt it for sure
Usually not the only thing that goes "straight through" if you've been on a 18 hour bender judging by the state of the office bogs after our Development Dept has been on an epic night out.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:58, Reply)
YOU'RE an 18 hour bender.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:12, Reply)
At least he's not a 24 hour bender

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:19, Reply)
At night he dreams of being a woman.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Queef must be one of my favourite words of all time.
I drew a picture of my friend's mum queefing a badger out in his wedding card.

He was Not Amused. I think it was the addition of hypodermic needles in her thighs. Also, his mum saw it. And didn't deny the evidence.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:00, Reply)
hahahaha!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:01, Reply)
In fairness his mum is fucking filthy.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)
*applauds*
Also some applause for introducing a new verb into the lexicon.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)
YO DEVSKI!
YO!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:13, Reply)
Word, Bredren.
*street handshakes*
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)
I'm meeting someone who is not off the internet for drinks.
Then I am home to rest up til Sunday for the Marathon.

Alt: The Mighty Arsehole

Alt Alt: Beer does not lead to bad experiences. This is SCIENCE.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:58, Reply)
NOT off the internet?!
Are you sure that is safe?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 15:59, Reply)
probably an axe murderer

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:00, Reply)
Probably.
I've known him 12 years though, so this Axe Murderer is playing the long game...
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:01, Reply)
they are the most dangerous ones

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)
there are people not on the internet?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:00, Reply)
I NO RITE
Nutters
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:00, Reply)
Apparently.
They're not right though. They look to healthy and have fulfilled lives.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Hello tighty!
I'll have to remember to sponsor you beforehand...good luck good sir.

Beer can lead to a bad experience if the barrel is on it's way out at a beer festival and there's only one karzy left to cater for a whole caravan site full of beardy, sandal wearing real ale drinking Klingon lookalikes.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:00, Reply)
Ta muchly!
If beer leads to sandals then I'm switching to spritzers forthwith.

Although that may lead to a cock in the arse so... Maybe I'll stick with beer.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:03, Reply)
It's a little bit like "Hobson's Choice"
One dire alternative or the other.

I'll watch out for you on the tellybox. Will you run in an appropriate costume, like a Fatcha mask or something?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)
I'm running in tiny pants and a vest because I'm likely to forget my PE kit.
Also, it'll make for easy access in case I need to 'do a Radliffe'.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
What and become the next Harry Potter?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)
I reckon I could carry it.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:20, Reply)
I'm meeting Battered for a pint
And if they don't get delayed, DG and Tourettes as well.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:00, Reply)
jefffstooooooooooooooooooooock

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:01, Reply)
It'll rain.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)
and I'm ill

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:02, Reply)
Urrugh.
Nothing any of us can catch I hope.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:03, Reply)
depends if I do the ping pong ball trick
.
.
.
i just grossed myself out
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:05, Reply)
You seem like such a nice person IRL

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
FOOLED YOU!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:06, Reply)
IRL lols

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)
is the IRL some sort of middleground
between the IRS and the IRA?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Pay your taxes or we blow you up

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:18, Reply)
yup
www.bbc.co.uk/weather/2654675
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:03, Reply)
Afternoon.
Looks like I'll have the walking dead home in the next hour. He's trying to convince me that I can still go to Jeffstock, and has this crazy idea that he can still come and pick me up. What is it about men that makes them refuse to admit their limitations?

I've been looking into it, and the last train back to weston is about ten o'clock. If he's okay (and I can find a granddad-sitter) I might still make it for a few hours. Can't afford to get legless or anything though.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:04, Reply)
CHEERS!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)
10/10

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
we will have to just compress all the partying
and antics into a couple of hours, then
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:07, Reply)

So I have to get pissed and drown Battered in 2 hours? fucksake.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)
yup
might want to make a start on it now
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)

I do have two litres of blackrat I could sample beforehand.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:16, Reply)

alt: I change my name a lot.

alt alt: Falling asleep and everyone went home and left me there and I woke up at 7pm.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Bugger all, as I'm working tomorrow
Alt: I wouldn't, I'm rather fond of this one

Alt Alt: I don't drink at work.

Fucking hell, PJM and DiT in one afternoon? We are blessed. Who is next, Flim-Flam?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:09, Reply)
BGB and Vipros turned up last night.
Zombie posters, I'm not sure I like the significance.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
It's all good

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:16, Reply)
I'll remind you of this when they're feasting on your entrails

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:27, Reply)
She'd have to dig her way out from under the patio, first.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:22, Reply)
She is/was The Magnificent though, right?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Flim? Yep.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:26, Reply)
So she'd be able to get out from under the patio

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:27, Reply)
It turns out 'The Magnificent' was a boast too far.
'Surprisingly Soft-Skulled' might have been more accurate.

Still, I have said too much.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Flim Flim the Hardcore?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Flim Flam the easily embalmed.
I do love how your wife looks so sweet and innocent but she's got a mouth like a drunken navvie.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)
A pretty navvie though
with a cracking set of norks and a bottom that won't quit!? Right!?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
and when I say 'won't quit'
I mean that it's covered in Nicorette patches.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:36, Reply)
I did notice that it kept sucking on a biro when I last saw you.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:38, Reply)
It does that
Between you and me it's got issues!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:38, Reply)
How ruddy dare you!
Tis I, I am alive and shit - so suck on that one! :)
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:32, Reply)
NO WAI!
ZOMBIE!!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Urgh
*brains*
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
I'm taking that fucking lump hammer back to B&Q.
"This hammer does not work properly and I demand a refund!"
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:38, Reply)
Did you listen to the staff there...
that was your first mistake!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Woo hoo!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:00, Reply)
i'm putting on a chickenlady suit to rape some bike prick
alt my dj name

alt alt trying not to glow bright ride or sway in front of important clients
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:14, Reply)
i once drank in the day at work
when I was working in a shop. Not sure who's great idea it was to be giving away free martinis in the middle of town. Went round a few times before they started recognising me
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)

first run Cavy, then a witch, then an orc, then a valkyrie, then a mermaid.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
i am already all of these things

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:28, Reply)
I have to go home and pack, and make some cake
then I am going to a gig. I have no idea what my new username would be.

Alt alt - can't honestly say I've had one. Cycling back home in the rain last week full of cider and curry and in desperate, crippling, agonising need of the bathroom was pretty bad. But that's about it.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:15, Reply)
How can a person be in crippling, agonising need of a bath?
I've fancied a bath quite a lot, before, but nothing so urgent as that. You're weird.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:18, Reply)
berk is a fish

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:20, Reply)
I thought it was a more polite way of saying I really needed a poo
cycling whilst clenching is not fun.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:21, Reply)
GIRLS DON'T POO

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:22, Reply)
The Cure's less successful etc....

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Fuck you man.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Fuck you both.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
No, fuck you both

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:24, Reply)
The Cure's errr... hang on.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Dre

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
The Cure's etc

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:23, Reply)
oddly the original is on the radio right now

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Oddly - and shitly.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:34, Reply)
You should have just said you were 'busting for a Forrest'

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:24, Reply)
The Cure's less successful etc....

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:24, Reply)
10/10
That's the only record of theirs I actually like.

'Love Cats' is the most twee, wanky heap of shit of all time.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:29, Reply)
The Cure have made many good and many bad songs
Forest = good
Love Cats = bad
Fascination St = good
Close To You = bad
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)
I'd argue "Friday I'm In Love" is

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)
Oh Fucking hell that might even be worse
You’re more of a Manics, Stereophonics kind of chap, aren’t you boyo?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Catatonia

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Tom Jones

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:01, Reply)
turtle heading.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:25, Reply)
THE CURE'S LESS SUCCESSFUL ETC
olololol
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:30, Reply)
hahahaha!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Love Shats

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
OH GREAT, NOW _I'M_ THE CREEPY ONE.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
my house doesn't have a bath
just a shower. I really really really want a bath
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:26, Reply)
I fucking love having baths.
Despite my being too tall for all bar one bath I've even been in.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:32, Reply)
i need to pay someone to put a bath in my bathroom
preferably properly plumbed. This is quite the most domestic of all my dreams
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Where did you find one big enough?
Our bath is nowhere near big enough for me
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)
He means length, not width.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:36, Reply)
One of my ex's lived in a house in Camden
the bathroom of which was about the size of my current flat. In the middle of it was a free-standing, rolltop bath on a marble plinth – this bath was at least 6’6” long and took half an hour to fill. It were REET CHAMPION, AH TELL THEE.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:37, Reply)
Later I am off to pick up my son from my ex for a weekend of playing with remote controlled cars.
Alt: I've had a fair few. Bicycle Repairman is one I wish I'd thought of.

AltAlt: none that I can think of /boring
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:25, Reply)
Staying in, I've spent an eye watering amount of money this week.
Gonna watch Game of Thrones, admire my new shades and swoon over my recently restored Oliver Spencer jacket that I picked up today. Was absolutely filthy and presumed ruined, the dry cleaners have worked miracles and I told them as such earlier.
Alt: Harvey Price, cos then I wouldn't be able to see half the shit that gets posted on here.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Nobody was home when I got in from work
So I've taken that as tacit consent for me to come to the pub.
Tonight's plans involve curry and packing for weekend away.

Alt: Dunno, PJM is now free so I'll have that.

Alt alt: The one I'm having now is alright.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Still got the remnants of the flu
so not doing anything. I might watch some comfort TV though to cheer myself up.

Alt: NonnyMouse
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Watcha Amberl.
How do?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Not bad cheers
how are you?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:43, Reply)
Got a cold.
Feeling a bit stuff up.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:48, Reply)
*ill fives*
Thanks again for the ASoIaF books, mostly worked my way through now.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:50, Reply)
No worries.
If you want some utter trash I can send you the sookie stackhouse books.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:00, Reply)
I had flu for a week
weak as a kitten, couldn't do anything but read my Kindle while curled up in bed. Managed to read 21 books, so I am actually almost out of book-stock. In other words yes please. If you require any interesting new ebooks I have a nice selection also.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
You B4$H1N?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:39, Reply)
You Ke$ha?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:42, Reply)
I may have to back out I'm afraid
bit pressed for money. I'm sure it will be an excellent night though!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Oh man lame-oh.
People will get you some beers. (Not me, obv.)
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:49, Reply)
I distinctly remember trespassing on Jeff's kindness
last bash so I may take a pass. That or get drunk before I come out. It'll be like being a student again.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:51, Reply)
i will buy your beers all night if you come, i haven't seen you for nearly A YEAR
pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease come!!!!!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
I was actually just about to ask you down thread
if you're busy on the 27th May :)
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:00, Reply)
LOOKS GOOD!
oops sorry for caps. are you coming to london?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)
I'm down in London for a musical on the 26th
I'll probably stay the night, and wondered if you'd be up for lunch or something the next day.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)

are you coming tomorrow?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:45, Reply)
Hell yes.
I made a promise to my dying grandfather that on the 21st of April each year I'd beat the shit out of the first person I saw in gangrene-coloured gaylord sneakers.

I can't let him down.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:50, Reply)

I will be wearing my Jordans to show you up biiattch. First rounds on me then boss.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Jordan IVs I hope.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)

nah man 2011 canvas straight from the U S of A.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Tsk.
Jordan IVs are in my top five sneakers of all time.

There were some super-rare pale grey ones which I would really, really like.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:10, Reply)
Are you suggesting that Bob has a pair of
Reebok Barrymores. In green.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Yes.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:09, Reply)
I'm oft
out tonight to be a wingman for about 8 mad girls. What was supposed to be a 'girls night' has apparently turned into a 'attack the menfolk night'... I'll be dancing around them all with vodka!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Sounds terrifying.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:45, Reply)
For all the unsuspecting menfolk
yes!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:46, Reply)
*narrows eyes*

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Racist.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:48, Reply)
She gone do you wrong DiT.
She been messin' all around town with other guys, doin' the wild thing all night long.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:49, Reply)
I thought as much.
She always comes home with fivers stuffed in to her garters.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:50, Reply)
I'm having an affair
with a toucan!

Don't say 'well toucan play that game'
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:51, Reply)
fuck off jeff

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
You're very strange

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
Welcome to the Internet...

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Very true
I'd forgotten!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Go on then
Explain what you mean!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Jeff makes puns
We tell him to fuck off.

Anyone else making puns must therefore be Jeff.

We tell them to fuck off.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
Ah I see
I'm so out of the loop maaan! It's all trippy!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:00, Reply)
And a card saying 'love from all the firemen, we'll never forget you'
wedged in her knickers.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
It's true
They won't forget! :)
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:53, Reply)
And when memory fails
there's always the photographs
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:00, Reply)
What! I'm wingmanning
I'll be Goose to a room full of Maverick's... which mean's I'll die at around midnight and you have to come and get me and shout 'HO-NO HO-NO' at me and cradle my head! Then Meg Ryan will be all like sad and shit!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:49, Reply)
OH NO YOUR GOING TO GET HEAD CANCER AND DIE IN HAWAII!!!!!!!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:50, Reply)
OHEMGEEE!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
GOOSE! GOOOOOOOOSE!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
I would just like to tell you all that I'm listening to Stevie Nicks at work and I'm not sorry about it either.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:47, Reply)
Rebel Rebel.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:48, Reply)
Your face is a mess.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:48, Reply)
I hope you eat a lot of mashed potato and refined pasta tonight.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:49, Reply)
Rice, rice and rice.
Perhaps with some rice, and maybe some protein.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:51, Reply)
Will you be getting your 'protein' straight from the tap?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
O_O

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I'm pretty much given up in my attempt at the off road half marathon.
But I'm going to enter that one in High Wycombe in July. Are you going to do the Bristol one?

Please do the Bristol one!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:53, Reply)
Why have you given up?
I might. I don't want to commit to much more running after this weekend, I want to get back to my bikes for a bit. Maybe. I dunno.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
My legs don't work properly. After my knee gave out a week or so ago I haven't run.
I've been to the physio and I'm going back next friday, and she's loosening the muscles, but I don't want to suddenly do a massive run, off road, when my running style has just changed as it'll just end up with me hurting myself.

Do you want to do a big bike ride somewhere?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Fair enough.
I'm carrying a little ankle knock in to Sunday which I am worrying about. I'm just going to strap it and go - I can worry about the pain later.

Big bike ride? ABSOLUTELY.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:59, Reply)
We could ride from your house all the way to Brighton.
It's about 70 miles. It'll be fun.

I'd need to do some training first.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Yep, sounds good.
There's always the Dunwich Dynamo too. Let's do a big 100 miler. Let's do it.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)
Oooo, how about this one?
www.bike-events.com/Ride.aspx?id=347

Although it's the week before the Bristol half.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:07, Reply)
While it looks really good...
I'm stepping away from fundraising for a bit - I fear I'm becoming the guy that's always asking for sponsor money...
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
Yeah, that's true
I fucking hate doing stuff for charity.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
That's not what I meant and you know it.
GOD, you're always twisting my words, I HATE YOU. YOU'RE NOT EVEN MY REAL DAD!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Punk is STILL ALIVE, everyone.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:48, Reply)
QUICK! Get me a safety pin!
I'm going to stick it in my ear and, er, spit at something.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:49, Reply)
You are the least punk person I've ever met.
And I once met the Queen Mother.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
I am SO punk.
We can have ANARCHY, right, as long as everyone respects the rules and agrees to do an equal share of tidying up after, right?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
English country anarchy.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:01, Reply)
God Save the Queen!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)


(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Surprisingly, I have been told I look a bit like Rik Mayall...

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
One day you and I shall meet and I will redefine your definition of 'not punk'

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
and possibly even your definition of 'well bent'.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:56, Reply)
I think later I will be crashing and burning
as I'm still fucking shattered. On the plus side, my zombie husband is home and just as chipper as ever. Which, for a grumpy old cunt, is pretty damn chipper.

alt: I was mrs b3th just after I got married, but then I went back to plain old b3th when it stopped being exciting. If I had to pick a new name, it would probably be my other webname, which is Sal_Acious.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:51, Reply)
chilling out and awaiting
missus's inevitable drunken return. gonna play some guitar badly and gurn while i do it. probably take a shit. celebrate 4:20 with overeating and the usual..

alt: well, this one is shiny-new. not changing it.

alt alt: went out to celebrate a mate's leaving do. decided foolishly to take advantage of wetherspoons cider fest and try EVERYTHING ON THE MENU. this included some 750ml bottles of 8% perry. got back to office 45 mins late, no food only cider, to mass panic and lots of alarms. absolutely buggerated. messy. worst bit was making eye contact with my mate across the desk, giggling like retards.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Celebrate 4:20?
Is that a ridiculously pompous MASSIVE DRUGZ reference?
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
I'd never heard of this until last night.
I declare it 'well bent'.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:54, Reply)
I know drug slang is generally pretty shit, but seomthing about the whole 4:20 thing really made me want to punch someone in the face.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)

hiya prick!
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Is there a particular reason why you've decided to be rude to me today?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)

I could think of several but that was spontaneous.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:04, Reply)
Oh man I had a 'zoot' as soon as I heard about it!!!!!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Yes, yes it is.
The twats are everywhere today.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:55, Reply)
work. woo.
alt I don't know, I'm so unoriginal I used my own name as my username here, can't really think of another one

I haven't had bers for 2 fridays now, may have some tonight
but then again, probably not. because i'm broke.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
You should change your name to "SUPERAWESOMEMEGAKRISTINE"

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:58, Reply)
I'm not really mega though, not that big, what's half of mega?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Bazongoid.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:00, Reply)
bazongaloid sounds good

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)
It certainly does.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Oh man, sick name change burn.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)
it's not though
my heart wasn't in it
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:03, Reply)
:(

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
I approve

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
dr gunther von hagens evil hat

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)
"Gurning Nazi cunt thread is dead"
this may be a contender for the best subject heading in OT's history.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 16:57, Reply)

There's a burst pipe in the buidling I work in so they've turned off all the water and I need a piss.

I have to get the lift down 8 floors, go outside, walk all the way to the other end of this block, go back in and get the lift back up three floors to the toilets in the other part of our office.

I may just piss in the lift.

Just thought I'd share.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:02, Reply)
Alt: Kate Thornton's Grubby White Van.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:04, Reply)
This sounds very filthy.
A*
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:09, Reply)
Alt: Drizzle Skipper
It's a butterfly I'd never heard of before today, but it souinds like a fun job title also.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:05, Reply)
it sounds like a gay porn name

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Actually it seems I may have mis-heard the radio and it's actually a Grizzled Skipper
Damn.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:08, Reply)
that's more of a rough gay porn name

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:09, Reply)
possibly involving a pirate ship

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:10, Reply)
Yarh!

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
a porn version of Tintin perhaps

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:16, Reply)
Bagsie Capitan Haddock
I do and excellent Haddock Voice
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
The Spanish Captain Haddock
"Hola Teenteen, we have mucho adventures quinto quinto Pepe"
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:20, Reply)
is that kiddie porn?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:19, Reply)
more bestiality I suspect

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:20, Reply)
hahahahahahaha

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:23, Reply)
not helping matters here

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:09, Reply)
Not really caring either, sorry.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
I've just found out that I can do a great rendition of that stripper music
in a 1930's muted jazz trumpet style using only my hands and mouth.

I fucking RULE
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:09, Reply)
you must be fighting minge off with a shitty stick

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:10, Reply)
I get so swamped that I don't have room to swing it
I have to fight them off with my bare hands! It's brutal. Brutal, I tell you.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:12, Reply)
you'd be better off with a short weapon
fnar
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:15, Reply)
How's he going to fight them off with a needle?

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Really, there's no need for flattery

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
You do indeed.
And may I say, you rule 'the kingdom of the knobends' in a firm yet fair manner which makes you beloved of all its citizens. Even if they are massive knobends.

You're a knobend. That's basically where I'm going with this. You knobend.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:13, Reply)
Fuck that, I'm the best thing about humanity.
I am the apex of our evolution. I am the homotype.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:14, Reply)
lol "holotype"

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:15, Reply)
lol "holodeck"

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:18, Reply)
I thought as much etc.

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:15, Reply)
Wait, wait...that's just too obvious a strike through to resist...
are you ready...


apex nadir
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:16, Reply)
I am the nadir of humanity's shitness

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:17, Reply)
<hilarious strikethrough>type<end hilarious strikethrough>

(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:17, Reply)
Okay
Before this thread dies a death, I have to share this with you. I find it one of the funniest afternoon-at-work-drinking stories ever.

http://www.b3ta.com/questions/quitters/post163394
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:20, Reply)
Okay
Before this thread dies a death, I have to share this with you: you are bent.
(, Fri 20 Apr 2012, 17:33, Reply)

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