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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Hi guys! No pricks please.
So, no replies in this one then.

I'm struggling to think of a question. Give me a mo.

OK how about this: what is the shittest CD/record/cassingle/'download' in what you laughingly call your 'collection'?

Alt: is there something you really want but can't get? I initially meant in terms of music but hey gang, let's throw it WIDE OPEN to means just about any old thing.

Alt alt alt: Women, eh!
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:03, 185 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
A question...
How long until someone mentions they are fed up with the Olympics, Jubilee or mentions of the London Bash?
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Hey Lugsy!!!!!
Did you know it's PIZZAB4$H tonight???????

Oh man!!!!
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:06, Reply)
i wasn't even invited, thanks for rubbing it in
:(
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Oh man soz.
There's still time!!!!!!
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:13, Reply)
too late, i'm watching my hair

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
+disappear
Afternoon Al
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
your mother would be appalled

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:18, Reply)
*waits*

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Sorry, no pricks please.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:05, Reply)
Graceland is still an excellent album.
No matter what the bullying.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Course it is.
The best thing about it is how he didn't pay the African musicians who fucking wrote the shitty thing. That makes me LOL.

He's such a 'world music icon'.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Did you call?

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:18, Reply)
The years have not been kind
Don't be an alcoholic kids
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
He said no pricks!

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:05, Reply)
What are YOU doing in here then?
You prick.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:07, Reply)
Oh right, yeah, I'll just go and post on some other website then shall I?

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:06, Reply)
Ideally, yes.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:08, Reply)
Fuck off am I telling you what my shittest CD is
I'm embarrassed by it, I'm not opening myself up for further mocking.

Especially not to somebody who, no doubt, classes as his shittest record some obscure hip hop act that he doesn't like because one of the MCs later produced some other, slightly less obscure, hip hop act that he considers of lesser musical worth.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:09, Reply)
This is about Doug Lazy isn't it?

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:11, Reply)
Your very own 'Guinans chillax bar grooves' for when you've got the 'ladies' round

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:11, Reply)
If by "ladies", you mean "Twi'lek slave girls"
Then yes.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:13, Reply)
I had to look that up, you like squid girls for fucks sake
You and sexface are more alike than you care to admit
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
I don't know who sexface is.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
He too likes squidgirls and used to post them on this very board

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
What the fuck is a...
You know what, I'm probably better off not knowing.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:18, Reply)
If you like star trek than squidgirls are well up your alley

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
I don't like Star Trek
No one ever believes me, but I've never seen a single episode.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
how do you know you don't liek it
if you've never see it, eh? answer me that
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
He's lying Cavey
Big terrible lies





on the internet no less
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
OMG
www.inquisitr.com/220757/star-trek-convention-to-reunite-all-five-tv-captains/
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:28, Reply)
WHERE'S PIKE !!!!!!

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)
OK, I should have said 'I have no interest in'.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
I don't believe you

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Chinny fucking reck-on.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Which happens A LOT.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:13, Reply)
He's hawt property on the 'Slough singles circuit'

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
I'm hot property everywhere, Rory, old bean.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
i own neil diamond's whole back catalogue

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:13, Reply)
I have a bundle of about a dozen Shakin' Stevens 45s
They were a lolironic present.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:14, Reply)
sounds more useful than a catalogue of neil diamond backs
i wouldn't even mind if he struck a sexy pose once in a while
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)

Hey, don't diss the man who sang "Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Band".
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
Why not?
He's shit, and a cunt.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)

I am led to believe he is, indeed, a cunt. But he sang "Brother Love's Travelling Salvation Band" which is just so brilliant that all his other musical sins are forgiven as far as I am concerened. Even "Forever In Blue Jeans". A bit like Tom Jones. Every piece of shit he has ever recorded is allowed due to the existence of "The Young New Mexican Puppeteer"
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
He also wrote several songs sung by The Monkees.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:28, Reply)
Ah, yes, of course.
I forgot that.

Although I may only have known about Daydream Believer anyway.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:30, Reply)

I bought Bellowhead's last album. Fuck me, there hasn't been a shonkier piece of shit released since The Spin Doctors were in their prime.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
:(
I've never owned anything by them but I had the most fun in the crowd when they played Greenman
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:18, Reply)

I was suckered by their storming performance of New York Girls on Jools Holland. So I can imagine they'd be a different prospect live.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:20, Reply)
I had a great time when they played Greeman too!

Because I wasn't there.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
LOL

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:31, Reply)
i did chuckle there fact fans

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:32, Reply)
They're bent.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
Well bent.
They make Mumford & Son look authentic*

*they don't.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
There is nothing laughable about my frankly awe-inspiring collection of records and CDs
There may, however, be one or two quite shit things in it.

Alt: I am currently coveting a vinyl copy of this: www.honestjons.com/shop.php?pid=32855&LabelID=14769 but it is highly unlikely that I will ever find an affordable copy.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:15, Reply)
Hi! I'm tangledupinblue you know off the internet.


The above is me in happier times, when I was tour manager for the Bundhu Boys. I am a cunt. Please beat me up.

Thanks for listening!

EDIT - just seen your posted pic above hahahahaha
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
That's weird.
When I click on that all I get is a link to some bent jazz record.

Perhaps I should call BT Broadband.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Alt alt alt: Now here's a alt I can talk about!
I have to get a birthday present for one in a few weeks and I don't know what to get :( help me lonely autisms, you're my only hope.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
fuck you all, useless fucktrolls

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Nice and specific about the recipient, dickbreath.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
It's for my girlfriend. She likes owls.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Take her to an owl sanctuary.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
That's really a Valentines day sort of event.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Looks great
www.norwichcity.net/2011/08/suffolk-owl-sanctuary-summer-holiday.html
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:47, Reply)
funny looking owl, that

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:49, Reply)
this post made me laugh more than anything else today.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)
er, thanks

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)
I have no idea why, but I just did an actual office lol.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)
brain tumour

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)
Hahahahha

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:50, Reply)
She lives in Norwich as well.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:51, Reply)
editing this for lack of funny
get her an owl's nipple, in other words, a teat owl
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
I might get her things that sound a bit like owl even though they're not.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:53, Reply)
simon cowell
guinea fowl
dog bowel
dowelling rods
howl's moving castle
harold bishop's jowl
a kowl
j.k. rowling
a vowel
a comic strip where someone says 'yowl!'
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)
A growl

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Give her a voucher for twenty minutes of Chompy loving

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Forty sessions' worth?

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:42, Reply)
Forty?
Christ, he's a bit of a stallion, ain't he.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
Fuck yeah.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I like to think so.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Star Trek dressing gown.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:34, Reply)
Good plan, she can get the blue one because she's a girl so can pretend to be Beverly Crusher.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
*cries*

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
I'm keeping silent on this
because I won't do myself any favours.

The ironic part of all this is that I'm not actually a trekkie.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Hi! My name is Kroney you know off of the internet.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:47, Reply)
for one what?

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:41, Reply)
A GIRL
which is in reference to the altaltaltaltalt: spastic.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
I DIDN'T SEE HE ADDED THAT THANKS FOR MAKING ME FEEL STUPID

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:43, Reply)
It's his fault for constantly editing, IT FUCKS UP THE POST COUNT AN ALL!

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:44, Reply)
waht a prick, you should ban him completely

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:45, Reply)
I love doing that just for you. You OCD nutjob.
Just done it again.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:48, Reply)
I screwed over bobby earlier,
he tried to make Kroneys post over 100 so I just deleted some of mine to put it back down to 99.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)
hahaha, you evil genius

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:52, Reply)
muah ha ha haaaa

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:53, Reply)
It's the psychological bullying that hurts the most.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)
I still own St Anger...
I don't know where it is now, but I know that it recently reappeared, despite my thinking I'd thrown it away years ago. Then again, others would probably claim it's Cat Stevens' Greatest Hits. Clearly, they are wrong. He may be a hippy, but he has made some excellent music IMHO.

Alt: I really want a new PC at the moment, but I can't afford it for a while yet.

Alt Alt Alt: Yes, women.

Aren't you missing an Alt Alt? For shame Montague, for shame.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:16, Reply)
Alt: get a government grant and build one

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:22, Reply)
It was MOD EDITED

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:27, Reply)
I have a Will Young album.
I like it though. He's quite good at pop music, to be fair.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:17, Reply)
I got a beer next to him at Glastonbury
seemed like a nice guy. The barmaid seemed very annoyed that I wanted to get served rather than let her stare at the famous person.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:19, Reply)
You'd probably have done better
by chatting him up and getting him to talk to the bar girl for you.

Always thinking, you see. Cogs always whirring.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:23, Reply)
One track mind you've got, always after the stars.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:24, Reply)
What can I say?
I'm a celeb slag as well as a normal one.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:25, Reply)
shove a scotsman up your cock and shit out a prison shoe

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
Probably Manowar's Louder Than Hell
that's pretty awful.

I'm still trying to get hold of the uncensored version of Monster Magnet's Space Lord. The Internet says it was never released but I know I had it on MP3 once and deleted it by mistake.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:26, Reply)
They are super-duper-bent.

Hope this helps x
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Monster Magnet or Manowar?
I'll agree on the latter, but I quite like the album's spectacular bentness. I think there's even a track caled Brothers in Leather....
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:35, Reply)
Actually Brothers of Metal
STill bent as hell.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:39, Reply)
Manowar indeed. They're horrendous.
Monster Magnet have done a few decent records I'd say. They haven't *quite* 'got it', but points for trying.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:42, Reply)
I own, somewhere, 'Them Girls' by Zig and Zag.
I'd love to say that I bought it in a knowlingly ironic kind of way, but I was 14 and I bought it because I liked it.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrQ8-U4UmOE

Alt: I'd like to get in to fencing. Mainly, though, I'd like to get my bikes back so I can get cycling again.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:28, Reply)
I was going to start Kendo last year,
but then I didn't.

True story
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Jeez man, don't use up all your good stories before the wedding!

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:31, Reply)
Don't worry mate - I'VE GOT LOADS OF THESE.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:33, Reply)
Thank god for that.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:36, Reply)
U R Jon-Paul Gilhooley AICMFP

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:46, Reply)
Hugest, biggest of RIS times.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)
Google is your friend

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:00, Reply)

Wow, was that a very convulted 'getting into fencing' gag?
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Very much so

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:16, Reply)
I want an original 45 of 'Out of our Tree' by the Fabulous Wailers (not them you pricks)
And the LP of the Shogun Assassin soundtrack. I want 'High Rise II' by High Rise and I want the 45 of the Grange Hill theme. I also want the sole LP by San Francisco's Shiver.

I'm prepared to swap these for a cracked 45 of D.I.S.C.O by Ottwan, or the small pile of goth singles my brother gave me.

Gaz me yeah?
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:55, Reply)
I'm trying to buy picture dics, I really want the sex pistols "god save the queen"
and I'm also waiting for the new Beegees solo album

PS Whooooooooohoooooooooo I got a new job.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Good skillz, Hartlington.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:11, Reply)
I used to have a pic disc of 'Word Up' by Cameo.
It came with a cardboard display stand.

True story.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)
Word Up fucksock thats another one I need
"god save the queen" P-disc is on ebay £13odd + £2 P&P, but I always get drawn to the sam fox P-disc, anyhoo if I bought it I would have no excuse to trawl through records at shitty car boots on Sun. Morns.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:20, Reply)
Boomania
Alt; That Betty Boo was alright back in the day.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:56, Reply)
Her finest hour is 'On Stage' when she was in She Rockers.
I would have until she was DUST back in't'day.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)
You could have given her a right
Caron Keating.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:00, Reply)
Innit blud.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Is that slang for a beating?
You monster.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)
I knew her a while back and she was hot and I was going to do her but I was too busy busting moves with my breakdancing.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:58, Reply)
Much like those two girls from Shampoo that you last saw
throwing up in your mate's house, yeah?
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)
This is a bit weird!!!!
That happened to me too!!!!!!!!
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:02, Reply)
I think Chompy's trying to move in on your
"Biggest Internet Name Dropper" award, Monty.

You'd best stick 'im. Shank 'im right up.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:03, Reply)
I'll send Ray Winstone round.
He owes me a favour or two.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)
He could use your mate's samurai sword!

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
Yeah good luck finding it., Ray.
The bin men have already been.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Haha

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)
Yeah I was going to "do" them both, but I was two busy falsifying my claims of aristocracy at the time

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:02, Reply)
Me two!!!

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)
why have you let shit-dull pricks post in here, eh?

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 16:57, Reply)
It's quite hard to keep them out tbh.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)
self fulfilling prophecy innit

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:02, Reply)
i came in because it said "no pricks"
but no. more pricks than a penis hospital.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)
you must be in your element

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
oh yeah
diseased, damaged, incompetent, penniless pricks. marvy.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)
haha, you're SO northern

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)
She's not interested unless it's dripping in dripping.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)

unless it's dripping in dripping
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:18, Reply)
Hi!

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:10, Reply)
i, for one, am looking forward to saying this in person later
and taking lots of pics of you with your NEW HAIR trailing in the pizza
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:17, Reply)
I won't let you down.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:18, Reply)
I have a question
I'm off tomorrow on a free week-long holiday to Hong Kong to see my girlfriend. Where should we go/what should we do?
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:01, Reply)
Hong Kong.
*taps nose*

If I went there I'd try to see the Shaw Brothers studios because I am gaylord kung fu film nut.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:02, Reply)
Go to irish bars and eat chips, like every englishman.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:03, Reply)
Get egg and chips from the 'pub'

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)
prick

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:04, Reply)
triggerfinger

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
I've promised myself
I'm not going to do this... It helps that my other half is Asian and can speak Chinese.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:06, Reply)
Then pull your fingers into the corners of your eyes and say
'velly solly'. Then ask them if they want any opium.

They fucking LOVE our 'English sense of humour'
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:09, Reply)
He should sing "so ronery" at them
cos they're all chinks really, innit.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:10, Reply)
Innit bruv, innit.

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)
I hear
It puts them at their ease if you put a lampshade on your head and get down on your knees before you talk to them.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:13, Reply)
It's a big part of their culture.
Also, be sure to mention that Ken Hom's real name is 'Ken Homosexual', too.
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:16, Reply)
Right that's a wrap
Thanks everyone
(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:05, Reply)
why he nro wristen

(, Tue 29 May 2012, 17:07, Reply)

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