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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Come on people, I have two hours to kill before I can leave for ooop north.
Holidays?? who's going where?

Troll me.....do something, anything!!
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:27, 140 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
*motorboats*

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:28, Reply)
Now your talking!!!

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:30, Reply)
your fired for calling me 'quentin'
also, that call we missed was our most important client mister umberdale

he's been caught in thailand with another underage rent boy, because of you he's already been executed
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:42, Reply)
Whoops, Soz Quentin.
Er... Commiserations to his wife?
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)
I'm going to Romania in August
woop woop
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Just remember the pretty ladies are only after a visa.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:29, Reply)
Where are you staying?
Is it expensive?
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:39, Reply)
I'm going to Norn Iron.
Rain and low temperatures but in a different location.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:32, Reply)
Don't forget to dress the baby in union jacks.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:36, Reply)
Yes! but little un gets to be spoiled rotten by grandparents.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:38, Reply)
Florida in 2 weeks time
You beauty.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:38, Reply)
*blushes*
Why thank you.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:38, Reply)
This is lol
www.metro.co.uk/news/902164-legal-party-drug-benzo-made-teenager-run-naked-around-tesco?google_editors_picks=true

yeah right love it was all to do with the drug.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)
I read that.
It's ok because she drives a BMW.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:43, Reply)
hahaha, what a dick

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:47, Reply)
I wonder how many people wish they were there to see that?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:29, Reply)
i'll be going home at some point over the summer to catch up with the cousins etc
maybe we'll get a speedboat out on como again, maybe we'll have a few of those awkward moments you always get where you think your cousin is attractive, like ross from friends did with dr christmas
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:44, Reply)
Say hi to George for me.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:51, Reply)
will do, and you say hi to your cat from me too ya hear?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:55, Reply)
I have 17 days holiday to take in the next 15 weeks
and absolutely fuck all money to do anything with it.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)
There was something on links that might help
I'll find it for you.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:49, Reply)
Here you go
b3ta.com/links/WOMEN_Fancy_a_new_way_to_become_a_prostitute
It looks legit!
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Yeah, thanks all the same but I'd rather not.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:54, Reply)
It's 2012, not 2010!

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:56, Reply)
The woman has no hutzpah!

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:56, Reply)
all sex is paid for
just in different ways
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:59, Reply)
Right on sister.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
just by holding a willy she'd get as far as Ghent I reckon

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:03, Reply)
Lick your lips and get maybe a Arriva bus.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)
I'll tell that to my other half
he gets all the sex he wants and can't even be bothered to take me on a day trip to Brighton.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:06, Reply)
have you tried being better at it? or more attractive?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)
Fuck off back under your bridge, there's a good little troll.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)
oi i was offering constructive advice
you'd have to be pretty shit at sex to not even be worth a trip to brighton peer
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I once went for a jog along the prom at Brighton
and an old man brandished his cock at me. It was most upsetting
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:16, Reply)
it was rude of me not to wipe it first, i'll admit

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)
Her boyfriend is a small cocked racist.
Hes probably scared of the gays.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:30, Reply)
maybe he'd go if she told him the peer is white and very straight?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)
actually, its shaped like a big cock forget it
he's so far in the closet he'll have a fit
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)
He should take her to the falklands and he can remember how great a country we are.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:34, Reply)
I am genuinelly baffled why she is still with him
I wouldn't even put up with a friend of mine being a massive racist, let alone my partner.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:36, Reply)
She's a mug,
This obviously sounds like I'm having a go at her, and I am. But it's tough love, stop encouraging peoples idiotic behaviour by putting up with it.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:39, Reply)
It's not even like she's a massive Uggo
who needs to settle for whatever she can get, she's actually a really nice, pretty girl who could definitely do better.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:42, Reply)
I think we should do a poll to encourage her to date someone even slightly better.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:43, Reply)
Done it, it's on a new thread

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:50, Reply)
Bloody hell, Al
is that a compliment I see? Thanks!
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:46, Reply)
I've always thought you were one of the nice ones berk
and I've made no secret of it.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)
my girlfriend has a tendency to be a MASSIVE RACIST
from time to time too, but at least she listens and understands and learns when i explain why what she said was wrong
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)
I'm going to York for a long weekend in July.
I'm watching Aliens at the moment
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:45, Reply)
what kind of aliens?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)
They look like your family.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)
>:(

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I am visiting on the 31st

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I'm going for a mid week break to York in July.
Staying at the Guy Fawkes inn.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)
Spain to see the famo tomorrow.
My mum's currently going crackers because I'm staying in Newcastle til tomorrow morning now. She doesn't trust that I'll get down in time. Her worries are valid.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)
Why don't you go down tonight?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)
That was the plan.
But I just have too much to do. I have an open ticket but I can't travel between three and seven. Can't go later cos of the football, and I need to get a taxi home from Kings Cross and if I leave now it'll take years to get back to mine cos of rush hour traffic.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:59, Reply)
there's probably a small window of opportunity in that hectic day of yours

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)
Nah bruv.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)
You could just not watch the football,
it'll be shit, and you know it.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:36, Reply)
Yeah I could miss it.
But I've already got into the mindset of leaving tomorrow. I'm really not that arsed about the football, truth be told.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Hows this?
www.b3ta.com/links/A_game_theoretic_approach_to_the_toilet_seat_problem
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 13:50, Reply)
I was intending on having a quiet holiday in August
But then the lineup to Bloodstock got better, so I'm spending 5 days in a Derbyshire field instead!
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:02, Reply)
You could meet up with Clendrix
and she could punch you in the face.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)
I'm aware she doesn't like me anyway, so I think I'll give it a miss

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)
Oh, but I'd love to hear her story about that time she met you at Bloodstock and punched you right in the face.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)
You're such a charmer.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)
did he try it on?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)
the semen all over her smalls was eventually traced back to AA

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:13, Reply)
This leaves open the possibility that she wouldn't
Doesn't seem very likely.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)
Alright Al
how was Download?
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)

AMBERL!
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)
^this

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:18, Reply)
Hey BGB a belated happy birthday to you!

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 15:04, Reply)
Swipey :D
things going well?
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 15:05, Reply)
Just been to Menorca for a week
Off to York for the day/night on the 31st July (wedding anniversary) and most likely also a few days here and there. I need to book in an Aston Martin drive that I got for my birthday
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:03, Reply)
Pfft! my dad would have let you drive his for nowt,

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:08, Reply)
My Dad's Citroen doesn't hold quite the appeal

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:11, Reply)
i am going to barcelona in a couple of weeks
cornwall in september

maybe new york in august

something unspecified in oct/nov

barbados at christmas

i can't troll you, you're one of the good ones.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:04, Reply)
You are Judith Chalmers AICMFP

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)
are you saying swipe has reached menopause?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:13, Reply)
No, are you?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)
it's hard to tell over the sound of him gurning and biting his own tongue

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:15, Reply)

:o - ♫

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:16, Reply)
this was me whistling innocently in case anyone didn't get it
ESPECIALLY LOCALBOY
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:31, Reply)
A sexually-frustrated Judith Chalmers, I'm sure.
I heard she was a right filthy minx back in the day.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:32, Reply)
According to my contract I have to take at least 5 days of my annual leave in one go
To do with money laundering, apparently - not taking a week off is 'suspicious behaviour'.

As if my wire fraud isn't wouldn't be entirely automated.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)
money laundering my arse
interview paranoia, more like
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:15, Reply)
I've also had to watch a money laundering presentation and do a test afterwards
Quite interesting.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:21, Reply)
we have to do that every 2 years
it's just not so much of an issue in litigation, but i always wonder who the hell volunteers to be a money laundering officer anywhere.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:26, Reply)
Clients who overpay an invoice and then want the balance returned into a different account
that sort of thing?

Also if they seem overly interested in the details of your regulatory reporting.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Looks like he'll be easier to chase now
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-18455361
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:14, Reply)
That's a shame. ...
I met him a few years ago in Blackpool, seemed a nice bloke.
Why don't things like this happen to arseholes?
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:21, Reply)


(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:19, Reply)

:o - ♪-♫

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:24, Reply)
Is that a flounced Hoff?

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:26, Reply)
it's supposed to be me wolf whistling :(
thanks for ruining it
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:27, Reply)
what a prick Q, totally ruined this for everyone.
fuck it, please delete this thread blousie.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:28, Reply)
i've gazzed rob, he's always doing me little favours
hopefully he'll delte OT and we can start again
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:30, Reply)
thank fuck!

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:35, Reply)
maybe it doesn't look right on a phone?
different formatting or summat.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:29, Reply)
it's a smiley with a little o for a mouth and two music notes, you big thread ruining preick

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:30, Reply)
that explains it then, the notes don't show on my phone.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:39, Reply)

                .---. .---. 
: : o : me want your cookie!
_..-: o : :-.._ /
.-'' ' `---' `---' " ``-.
.' " ' " . " . ' " `.
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`. " `. .' " .'
`. '`. .' ' .'
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`. " '"--...--"' . ' .' .' o `.
.'`-._' " . " _.-'`. : o :
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.' " ' " " ; `.;";";";'
; ' " ' . ; .' ; ; ;
; ' ' ' " .' .-'
' " " ' " " _.-'


(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:27, Reply)


/[] _ _\ woooooooooah!
_|_o_LII|_ /
/ | ==== | \
|_| ==== |_|
||" || ||
||LI o ||
||'----'||
/__| |__\

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:29, Reply)

                ______             _______________________________
/ \ / \
| ------ | | I fucking love star wars LOL!! |
\| \ ^ |/ \_ _____________________________/
| \ @ @ / | ||
\_ .. _/ _____/
| __ |
\____/
_|__|_
_______||||||||_______
/ | |------ \
/ ||__| (=(^)=) \
| || | |
| || | |

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:34, Reply)

    ___    
_(___)_ hey hey hey!
()' `() /
.' o o `.
: _O_ :
`. \_/ .'
.`---'.
.' ()o() `.
: ( \ :

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:39, Reply)
Brian loved it when his balls dragged over a bit of chewing gum
                                                (`)         (`)
|| //
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_ _ /_%_%_%_%_%_%_%_|__
(_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _)
.` (c c) ;
_ -- ~~~ -- _ : (\. ;
-~ ~- '. , `\O ' - Aw yeah!
/ _ _ _ ~_ `,. `~~` .`
/ / \ ("`"`~`" ~;`~`~)
| / __ \ ( ) ; )
| | ( \ | / `"`'`"`"`|` | |
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__--- -`'-._ _ _.- '~~~ ~ \ , |` |
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`~~~ ~~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~~~ ~~ `""`

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:45, Reply)
i couldn't find any Alf ascii
so have some fanfic instead
www.fanfiction.net/s/501924/1/Alfs_Lucky_Day_Outside
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:49, Reply)
titties!

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:53, Reply)
TITTY

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:54, Reply)
Ok but I have to lead.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:25, Reply)
ok but your have to do it in your underwear.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:27, Reply)
Works for me.
If I tell you I've put half a stone on recently you may change your mind.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:33, Reply)
nu-uh! I wann see that over the shoulder boulder holder.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:34, Reply)
Ha!

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:36, Reply)
*Bums*
In other news, my work colleague is a complete and utter cunt. One of our new starters messed up an nslookup- easy enough to do if you're 100% familiar. He sent them a long and drawn out snotty email on how to do it properly. I'm annoyed about it, the new starter wants to stove the twat's head in with a shovel.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:30, Reply)
It's ok, I'm back from lunch. You can all start getting excited about the internet again.
Wat gwan? Give me a round up? I could read the thread as it's not that big but OT's dead and it could use the post count boost.

Chompy: I am staying in Bucharest and Buzau. It's for my brother's wedding. The hotel's about a tun per night, the flight's about a tun-fifty, but you have to factor in the cost of bribing the police officers to not arrest you for various sub-crimes relating to walking around whilst being foreign.

Blousey: The local pretty girls are all EU citizens so can make the effort to come over here to marry me for a visa. The ones that stay home are obviously too lazy to be the vacuous sex objects I demand in my partners. Nothing's a bigger turn off than a woman having "opinions".
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:36, Reply)
That's a bit too rich for me,
even though it's apparently cheap once you're there.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)
I can well believe drinks etc are cheap
it's not a rich country. But, aforementioned bribery.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:46, Reply)
Funnily enough I have no opinion on that.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:43, Reply)
You just got 10% hotter

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:43, Reply)
As I'm starting from zero, it's not much of a percentage.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:44, Reply)
It's also zero...

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:47, Reply)
*cries*

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:48, Reply)
My Mexican lunch was fucking nom

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:45, Reply)
Hey Blousie
Tesco are trying to get me to join their wine subscribers thing. I'm half tempted but can't decide whether my initial case would be New World Reds or Old World Reds. Which way would you go?
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:45, Reply)
I would go with what ever is going to get you drunk the fastest.

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:46, Reply)
New World

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:48, Reply)
^^this

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:49, Reply)
I'd say Old World
but honestly, there's great stuff from all over the world, you're not going to lose whatever you choose.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:50, Reply)
Agreed.
Although I've always preferred French wine over anything else. Especially beaujolais for some reason.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:54, Reply)
I generally prefer Spanish

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:55, Reply)
There's two Riojas and a tempranillo in the Old World set
Unless it's top-end Rioja tastes to me like licking old leather.

Not that that is necessarily bad. Yes Mistress!
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:56, Reply)
Got any Malbecs in there?
Also, Italian wines are uniformly excellent.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:58, Reply)
Two Rioja, a St Emilion, A Nero D'Avola, a Madiran and a Pinot Noir Shiraz
whereas the New World has Cab Sauv, Pinotage, 2 Pinot Noirs, Malbec, and a Shiraz.

I'm leaning towards the New World, I admit.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 15:13, Reply)
Looks like a good selection.
In other news, I've just had one of the uber-geeks going on at me about something called Powershell. It's been a while since I've glazed over, smiled and nodded a lot.
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 15:19, Reply)
why can't you choose both?
why is wine so ageist?
(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:52, Reply)
get some lager poofter

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:54, Reply)
Fizzy piss

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:55, Reply)
no thanks, I'll have the veal LOLOLOLOLOLOL!

(, Fri 15 Jun 2012, 14:57, Reply)

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