Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Fuck that shitnon-bbc news link stolen from the newsletter www.spareroom.co.uk/flatshare/london/streatham/2182517/
Fuck me, stick with it.
Alt: Weekend plans?
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 13:53, Reply)
Alt: I plan to read the Streatham flatshare thing.Oh no hang on, I did that a few minutes ago when Rory posted it in the last thread.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 13:54,
Reply)
Needoo's tonightPossible trip to Wilthsire tomorrow, Greenwich with daughter on Sunday, weather permitting.
Busy weekend for me.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 13:55,
Reply)
Sounds like a Moroccan energy drink(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:09,
Reply)
It does sound niceLambs Tongue FTW
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:16,
Reply)
I have not.I'd love to know how it goes.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
Do you do any work at all? I bet I could do a shit that would put more effort into a days work than you. Lazy cunt.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:01, Reply)
I'm also downloading web analytics data.if you don't smoke weed every day it's pretty easy to do a lot.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:05, Reply)
On company time? if you put the same amount of effort into work as you do into finding zany/waki news stories you would sell a hell of a lot more paperclips. Then you wouldn't have to use vouchers on dates and could afford laser eye surgery. You'd still be a cunt though, it would just be less obvious.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)
I looked at the newsletter, it was in it.rob did all the work for me.
Why would I like laser eye surgery, or date someone who activley enjoys wasting money?
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:09, Reply)
Have you not considered laser eye surgery?(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
I hated wearing themThe bit that was blurred outside of the lenses
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
Defrosting the freezer and cleaning the fridge.I have asked everyone I know on FB to kill me now but so far no-one has been forthcoming.
(
Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:05,
Reply)
CQ is on his way.Everyone should defrost their freezer more often, it makes a big difference.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:07, Reply)
I like it when you get a whole tray iced up and then run it under the tap.(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:10, Reply)
I go for the hairdryer/wooden spatula approachI like the element of danger
I just turn the freezer off though
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:11,
Reply)
It's a pain in the arse.You have to eat most of what's in your freezer the week before so not to waste it.
(
Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:10,
Reply)
Nah! just keep it turned off till all the ice melts is easiest.Towels round the front to soak up the water.
(
Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
The only bashing I do is in pubs with internet wierdos.(
Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:13,
Reply)
Nommy food!Mine is full of ice-pops and ice-lollies.
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:12,
Reply)
Last time I "defrosted" my freezerI couldn't be bothered with turning it off and spreading newspaper and getting the hair dryer out.
I went to the shed and got my hammer out. It was a very satisfying half hour.
(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:24,
Reply)
Tonight I will be playing my guitarTomorrow I shall be dining on the finest Indian cuisine with a Mr Paul Daniels and his lovely wife
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:08,
Reply)
Alas noNor is his wife called Debbie.
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:16,
Reply)
I Put Debbie Mcgee, into Google, and the 2nd predictive title was "Debbie Mcgee alsatian".(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:26, Reply)
The better solution is to substitute it for marmite, or something like chilli jam(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:45,
Reply)
Wasn't there something about the Stone Roses here from Bear Pookie a minute ago?(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:21,
Reply)
yeah I saw that ' I hat em maor fane pakis'(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:28,
Reply)
Oh God, I'm too old to live there :(They sound just like my sort of people.
(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:23,
Reply)
I'd give it a week of living therebefore I committed a triple murder and, when I turned up in court in my blood-drenched suit, the judge would say "it was fair enough, really."
(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:26,
Reply)
Yeah, you just need a few character witnesses- not to confirm that you were of good standing, but that the victims were colossal helmets.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:29, Reply)
"If I didn't murder them, m'lud, society would have been the victim".(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:39,
Reply)
AA is a judge?(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
I still can't believe there are actually people that much of a knob.(
Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:25,
Reply)
i still can't work this out(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:29,
Reply)
Her rage has robbed her of her command of English.(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:30,
Reply)
aint you on about moving to London?Living in that house you'd never have to watch tv or feel like a failure ever again
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:31,
Reply)
Alas! Too old! Damn my decrepit frame.(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:32,
Reply)
Brazen it out, knock five years off your age and turn up to their meet and greet soiree wearing a kaftan and you'd be a shoein(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
I think Dozer would fit right in.His indepth knowledge of dance music and hip hop would make them worship him.
(
Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
As a tiny, prickish god?(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:38,
Reply)
alt q answer - recoveryi shared the £27 pizza deal from pizzahut yesterday, and have been feeling rough ever since. didnt sleep, bloated and have been farting non stop
woe is me :(
(
zulu eh?, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:37,
Reply)
Dude.There is nothing sold by Pizza Hut that is in any way a 'deal'.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:42,
Reply)
yes - i have now gone off pizzanever thought it'd happen, but it has
(
zulu eh?, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
Pizza Hut pizza is shit and tastes of nothingI end up there once a month or so as the kids like it
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
Wedding tomorrowmassive paella on Sunday.
Brightening up here, i might pop out for a pint in a bit
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:40, Reply)
SureIt's the pub opposite the mosque.
(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
Nobbish flid, irritating?(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
Afternoon, 'Marc Almond'(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
You're a massive paella every day,Paella *does* mean 'wanker', right?
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
In this context I'm pretty sure it does.(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:43,
Reply)
It's a ROCK-HARD CLICK from me(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:47,
Reply)
Fuck yeahI want a paella now!
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
I'm not a big fan, following a food poisoning incident about 15 years ago,in what ah you might call the ah 'Dago bar system' ahahahahahahhahahahaha
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
YOU NEVER GET TO ASK ME TO LTI AGAIN BOYCE(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
That seems only fair.:o(
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
*champions a wonder horse*(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
Wrecks a Wonder Dog(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
I was in a local garage earlier that sells classic cars and they had a Fiat 124, that my heart is aches forwww.carandclassic.co.uk/car/C309662#
I will need to buy a Lotto ticket later
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:45, Reply)
isn't it just?Also it had a lever marked "deer" i assume this deploys some sort of plough out of the front
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:48, Reply)
You have a child now.No fancy cars until your mid forties.
(
Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
Not until you are 80% bald and a complete embarrassment to all who know you.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
Hopefully that's not merely the early signs of a massive heart attack,that would be really a big shame.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:48,
Reply)
This is easily curedSimply increase your butter consumption and start smoking.
(
tangledupinblue is your clam in a jam?, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
I thought for a moment thenthat you meant one of these and wondered why the hell you would...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:1973_Fiat_126_IMG_7855.jpg
To my shame, we had a pastel yellow one of these when I was a kid.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:49, Reply)
I was thinking that, about a wee.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
It's a TR6for limp wristed fannies.
(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:50,
Reply)
My mate has 2 Fiat X19sI loved them as a kid
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:53,
Reply)
Your wife is a TR6? Who knew?!!(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
why are some cars called 'spider'?i can understand naming them after fast sexy cats, but why spider?
they got eight legs?
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:51, Reply)
That was the name given to some open carriages prior to the car being inventeddue to the fact that they had a frame or skeleton with radiating arms
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:54, Reply)
Car terms have been lifted wholesale from carriagessedan, cabriolet, spider, hackney carriage, turbo, 4x4, fuel injection, spark plugs etc etc
(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
so why specifically are those cars spiders?what makes them more like spider carriages than a ford marina?
and i'm not buying that spark plugs carriage thing, your having me on
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:01, Reply)
Because they are convertibles (ie, have a soft removable roof)like the carriage
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:02, Reply)
Am I? Ye of little faith.Cars are even rated in horsepower, for goodness sake.
(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
No, you seeSpark plugs were originally small vulcanised rubber caps that went on the nails on a horse's shoe. They'd put them there to stop the shoes striking up sparks on the road.
(
Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:11,
Reply)
It looks like a car. Nice one.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
I just saw a removal van go past called 'Stand & Deliver' with a massive picture of a highwayman on the side. That's about as reassuring as seeing a builder using JohN Wayne in it's adverts or a surgeon with a picture of a butcher on his business card.
And their url is sadtransport.co.uk, which makes me wonder if they have really thought any of this through.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
You dick, it's cq who's getting the bullying treatment today(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:12,
Reply)
Yeah, Nakers, I'm not due again until at least next Wednesday.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
Nah, the funds will come through soonYou need to remember that the Nigerian banking system isn't as efficient and incorruptible as ours.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Well, don't be such a bent spastic then.Oh yeah, I see what you mean.
(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
I am 190cm tall, in new money.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:41,
Reply)
Nice one you are, Yoda.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
When 185cm you reach, Battered you are not(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
not that much shorter than Pookie, and he is quite tall.Ask him in fact, he's met me OFFLINE.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:55, Reply)
At least I'm not dumped from a great height!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHAHAHAHAHLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLhahahahahahalololHAHAHAHA
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
Have you taken over my Friday afternoon drinking?(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
Fuck no.I am managing an audited stocktake: if I was anything other than stone cold sober it would all go horribly wrong.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
alt:I have no plans for the weekend, but I just got through meeting of doom and came out good, so I may just spend it wasted in a pool of my own vomit
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
damn rightin 3 years time there will be people with a qualification I designed :)
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
This is short for "batchelors of live action roleplay", I was talking in klingon.(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:54, Reply)
OK, I get it nowThere are potentially going to be references to computer games, so maybe I can sneak in some larp
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
before anyone asksit's not hobbit studies
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:44,
Reply)
One qualification to bind them all?(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:45,
Reply)
haha...and in the library find them
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
No, her qualification for that has lapsed(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
Is this your reply to 'weekend plans'?(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
i wish it were mine(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
dryspell lolzwww.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1657088
(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
soznot like I'm beating them off with a stick myself.
(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
perhaps you should beyou'd get a certain type of girl that way, certainly
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
Dude, if he's able to beat them off, those aren't girls of any type.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
you know girls can masturbate, right?(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
Would you describe it as 'beating off'?Beating?
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
I guess notbut some girls, I hear...
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:05,
Reply)
Or perhaps girls who like being beaten with sticks(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
kroneylols(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
It's really fucking nice out.I've been paid, and I reckon after my luvverly Needoo's later, I am going to get FUCKING LANGERED.
In case you were wondering.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
Nice use of langered. There is no such thing as Needoo's in Wales unfortunately, I am jealous.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:53, Reply)
I'll text you a picture to really ruin your night.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
PLease don't as my night tonight is packing for a move so will be shit anyway. I do have a nice pork loin (oooer) in the fridge that I might spice up.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:59, Reply)
Did you see my music recommendation earlier?(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
Yes thanks, I haven't done it yet but will do, been listening to THE STROKES all day.
(, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:12, Reply)
Flatmate's been having a noisy wank, yeah?No wonder you're moving out.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:13,
Reply)
No, that was.........wait for it...
LAST NIGHT
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:14,
Reply)
AHAHAHAHAHAHHAI don't get it.
(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
I do really, I used to live with a girl with terrible music taste.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
shit music reference(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:17,
Reply)
It wasn't his best, you're right.(
Monty Boyce "Get the h*** out of my store", Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:25,
Reply)
I saw celebrity bummer Gok Wan cooking an excellent belly pork dishFirst boiled in water with soy, ginger, garlic, chilli and spring onions, then fat removed and roasted with honey and soy
It looked "fucking nom"
(
sportscow The Kofi Annan of offtopic, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:04,
Reply)
Too many vowels for a welsh Needoo's(
Bartleby I am sir, your disobedient servant., Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
The Pete Best of the Tellytubbies(
Bartleby I am sir, your disobedient servant., Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
need more nllyllwllledws(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
Why is this week's QOTWa collection of gonz's tea threads only with better spelling?
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
Blousie found the advertisers thesis or summat"This essay examines the theological and philosophical foundations of domestication and slavery in the Western world (focussing specifically on enslaved Africans in North America), arguing that the exploitation of nature and the enslavement of men have provided paradigms for the cultural validation of one another."
What a guy!
This weekend I am heading back to Birmingham for BEER and possible curry.
(
The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
Phenominologists because of their ontological and epistomological positions believe that social reality is a world of shared norms and values..something something something...'social actors first order constructs'.
That was most of my a level sociology essays
(
Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Fri 29 Jun 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »