Pops the putz got himself an ipad and a date
They say good things come in threes, what should we all hope he gets next?

Alt:where the Fuck is everyone?

Alt.alt: what was your favorite childhood sweet?
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 16:49, Reply)

Laid one hopes

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 16:51, Reply)

I'm in the pub with a pint and the paper
Having got back from the Stone Roses about an hour ago.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:01, Reply)

How was the gig?

( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:06, Reply)

Bang on!
Less impressive was the queue for the bar, the lack of organisation, the three hour walk back to the centre of Manchester and the transport to Heaton Park. But I had fun.

Good weekend yourself?
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:09, Reply)

Meh!
See below.
( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:13, Reply)

Best and only answer jeffers
i spent £1200 on the company C/Card last night so im giving my liver a break till about 6pm
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:36, Reply)

It's booze o'clock so I'm here too.
Got shit done today but I feel like crap.
( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:04, Reply)

I spent all morning lying on the sofa under a blanket watching dexter.
Then I got up suddenly got all motivated and went out in the garden and weeded and cut the lawn and dug up loads of dandelions and brambles and then I went to B&Q and got a way splitter for the outside tap so I can have the watering system and my hosepipe connected at the same time and then I watered all the beans and the tomatoes and tied up the beans and picked some loganberries and now I'm gonna make cheesy pasta and bacon for tea and watch some more dexter.
( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:10, Reply)

Never watched dexter, but now I have Netflix I am going to use their library of box sets. What makes this one so good? What else would you recommend?

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:13, Reply)

It's got a good cast and the story, whilst a little far fetched, is internally consistant so it doesnt' feel ridiculous
plus the characters all grow and develop as each series goes on. The third series isn't as good, but series four is pretty amazing so far and others tell me that series 6 is also very good.

If you haven't watched it yet, Breaking Bad is also fantastic, again great acting, really interesting story, and the finales of series 3 and 4 are brilliant.
( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:17, Reply)

Thank you!

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:18, Reply)

How was Ripon batts.

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:37, Reply)

Torrential rain and full of poor people. I shaLl not be returning.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:44, Reply)

I had to do that trip once a month.
I fucking hated it everytime
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:46, Reply)

I was up early.
Dog walking, shopping, cleaned fridge and freezer, re-proofed second hand wax jacket, washing, then I watched 'We need to talk about Kevin', and it put me on a downer.
( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:15, Reply)

Great book, not seen the film but can understand why it would be rather depressing on screen.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:19, Reply)

After the killing and she was going through all that shit I kept thinking, where's the father?
Never dawned on me he had been killed too.
( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:21, Reply)

My new knee support arrived today.
Gonna test it out tomorrow.
( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:20, Reply)

Good luck!
We're all rooting for you.
( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:22, Reply)

I think the safest option is to take off and nuke the site from orbit.
It's the only way to be sure.
( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:29, Reply)

Terminal cancer.
Alt: in the pub to recover from gardening.

Altalt: Stilton.
( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:07, Reply)

I'm on the train to Birmingham
Going out for beer and Balti with the boys. Looking forward to it!
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:10, Reply)

The balti won't be as good as dry meat.

( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:11, Reply)

oh you poor deprived fool

( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:29, Reply)

Oh you poor brummie

( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Do I eat my fairly healthy dinner as planned or drown my sorrows with a take away pizza?

( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:23, Reply)

Bit early for supper isn't it?

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:24, Reply)

I meant later.

( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:25, Reply)

Have a healthy dinner
but then have three biscuits and some ice cream.
( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:29, Reply)

I don't really have a sweet tooth.
I'm more of a cheese and crackers sort of person.
( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)

I only like savoury now but as a kid....
come on bon bons, cola cubes there must have been one fav?
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:33, Reply)

Pear drops and Lions midget gems.

( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:35, Reply)

Mm pear drops, tastes like nail varnish remover

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:36, Reply)

They taste like polystyrene cement smells.
Ijust rmembered I bought a load of jelly beans yesterday. They're supposed to be for running, but I just started tucking into them.
( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:38, Reply)

L I C's balti will be for running

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:41, Reply)

Feck! I want curry now.

( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:43, Reply)

That would be pretty good, having a few little baggies of dry meat in your hip bag
after about 4 miles you pull one out and squeeze a little sachet of chilli sauce onto it and chow it back with a swig of lucozade.
( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:44, Reply)

Market it.
If Levi Roots can get away with the shit he's selling, your on a winner
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:00, Reply)

I have a milky-bar yoghurt
I'll say I win.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:45, Reply)

Wham bar
*nothing else to say*
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:02, Reply)

coconut mushrooms

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:39, Reply)

they sound very wrong

( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:41, Reply)

NAHHHH THERE MAGIC MAN

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:44, Reply)

i have home made sherbert, true story, strawberry flavour.

( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:59, Reply)

Come on popz spill the beans
Where you taking her?
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:01, Reply)

Before a date? You're mad. You'll be farting like a cow on turnip feed all night. She will not be impressed.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:02, Reply)

That only happens when you drink Iron brew

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:03, Reply)

It's made in Scotland fae girders an' flavoured wi' shite an' deep-fried sugar. Then coloured with illegal dyes. The good ol' boys in the US of A refuse to import it on health grounds.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:09, Reply)

Iron brew and sherbert is like cola and mento's
*I might have made this up*
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:12, Reply)

TEDIOUS BUT MARGINALLY RELEVANT FACT: I live 15 minutes' walk from the Lion factory.

( Gvpyczjppcl when I arrive I'm balls in a heatwave, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 20:26, Reply)

Jesus I turn my back for one minute...
And you all start posting?
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:31, Reply)

Never ever turn your back on a B3tan.
First rule right there.
( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:32, Reply)

I looked at rory's links to a b4sh
had emvee in em, that didn't look like a happy place to be
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:34, Reply)

Eh?

( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:35, Reply)

I think he said "I like putting my penis into my sisters genitals, it makes me mad with power"

( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:39, Reply)

Thanks Al

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:40, Reply)

No wuckas.

( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:41, Reply)

My euphemism's really need some work.

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:43, Reply)

Euphemism's a euphemism, yeah?
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:45, Reply)

I get what your saying phuds
*winks and acts all coy*
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:47, Reply)

It's yer tits, intit?
Don't be shy, I'm sure everybody will be very supportive. A B3ta bra, if you like.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:51, Reply)

My tits are like a shield of steel

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:52, Reply)

Heavy metal boobies rule!!
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:55, Reply)

mental

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:55, Reply)

also
Never start a land war in /talk
And
Never post a picture bigger than your head
( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:11, Reply)

Or shove yer granny while she's shaving.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:16, Reply)

I was going more B3ta-specific

( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:18, Reply)

I should have explained that my granny reads OT while shaving.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:23, Reply)

Shaving private granny lolz

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:30, Reply)

I think we all know what he gets next,
a bypass
( Lord Scrope of Masham, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:36, Reply)

A colon bypass?

( Bazongaloid Superfly MAYDAY with a badger gonna GIT yo sucka!!!! says "GO SWANS" in that there 'stralian football, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:39, Reply)

Or some time in a secure clinic to get over his addiction to prescription opiates.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:46, Reply)

A personality disorder is not recognised as mental illness, although dependancy is.
I'm sure you can still get treatments for it, and most people don't realise that its not a mental disorder so you can even cling onto it on those nights when you find yourself justifying whatever it is you've just done again.
( Ain't no 'igger like Gonz the J-'igger LETS GO GOBBO LETS GO !, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:58, Reply)

Personality disorders used to be known as psychopathy, the definition of which began, "in the absence of mental illness......."
"Treatment" used to consist of being banged up in a "special" hospital as opposed to prison. I'm not sure anything's really changed.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:22, Reply)

Just had a fun phone call
With a mate about an idea I've been kicking around for a while. He didn't dismiss it, so it might have legs.
( JeffTheDogFucker, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:47, Reply)

I don't think homosexuality is for you hon.

( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:48, Reply)

Excellent.

( Battered Would you really have a negro run our firm?, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:48, Reply)

A dog with no legs?

You take it out for a drag, don't ya?
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 17:52, Reply)

He calls his dog Woodbine for that very reason.

( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 19:01, Reply)

Rubbish,

He's on to Number Six now. All the others have been shagged to death, the low-down, dirty bastard.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 19:07, Reply)

evening chumps

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:05, Reply)

Evening!

( Big-girl's-blouse is one quarter gyppo it seems, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:06, Reply)

alright there
how's the weekend progressing?
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:08, Reply)

*waves* \o/

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:06, Reply)

same question to number 2

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:08, Reply)

I'm thinking about opening the bottle of jameson 12 year reserve I've had since X-mas

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:20, Reply)

going well then :)

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:21, Reply)

Very well thanks

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:23, Reply)

'lo, Captain,

How's the piggies?
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:11, Reply)

lo
they're mostly wanting to go outside and eat all the grass
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:12, Reply)

Have they got a specified area of garden to run in or do you just sprint after them if they try the Great Escape?
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:15, Reply)

Cav's pigs have wings

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:16, Reply)

that would be terrifying
also Higgs is MASSIVE, him having wings would be super dangerous! Suddenly you'd find over one and a half kilos of guinea pig flying into you at top speed squeaking for more danelion leaves
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:21, Reply)

Higgs?
Not named after Higgins from Magnum PI i hope?
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:27, Reply)

No, I used to have Higgs and Boson
But Boson died and now I have one called Homer, too
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:28, Reply)

Boson died? I missed that, though I remember he lost weight and you took him to the vet.
It's a cruel life, sometimes.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:32, Reply)

that was last august
he had another operation to get rid of an absess and he didn't really get much better, despite keeping hot water bottle under his cage and syringe feeding him. :(
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:35, Reply)

Sorry to hear that.
Long live Homer!!!
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:36, Reply)

haha
they'd be straight under the hedges. Nah, they've got a run which gets moved about when they've eaten all the grass.
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:20, Reply)

So you don't need to mow the grass?

*buys forty cavies*
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:25, Reply)

well perhaps not if I had more pigs
and it rained less. As it is I have lots of grass and lots of it is very long. They're pretty good at munching through dandelion leaves, too, they're like crack to guinea pigs.

I'm glad I'm so popular, but there's only one of me and I can't be bought
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:26, Reply)

Sorry, I wasn't implying...

I said cavies cos I couldn't be fucked typing guinea pigs.

You're still popular, though.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:29, Reply)

i know, it was a comedy misunderstanding

( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:31, Reply)

An army of cavies would be cool though
All in cloaks charging at you with winged pigs
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:33, Reply)

*imagines*
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:35, Reply)

RUNS LIKE FUCK

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:37, Reply)

I am sitting around witht he last vestiges of a hangover, a pack of tortillas and some red.
I need some new telly to watch.Is anything good at out that you're watching at the moment? I can recommend Falling Skies if you want a bit of sci fi, or The Newsroom if you don't.
( Kroney Nyommy beaver anal glands nyomnyomnyom, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:09, Reply)

Robot chicken is the answer

( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:13, Reply)

line of duty had a good first episode

( The Light in Chains spank me like a disobedient avocado, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:19, Reply)

Kroney not sure if you've seen it but...
Deadwood was great, download it
( hartley hare is shaking his Caxirola on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 18:25, Reply)

This what I missed on Thursday after I had to leave work early.
imgur.com/E6SMP
( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 19:01, Reply)

I drove from Aberdeen to Dumfries and back on Thursday. Left at 0445 and got back at 1845. Thick fog, pissing rain, hail, rubble on the road plus a sat nav app on a borrowed iPad which decided I should be fucked around without mercy made me not a happy man.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 19:16, Reply)

A few people in my office ended up booking into hotels rather than try and get home.
Many others didn't get home until 11pm.
( Davros' Granddad STOP BEING SO REASONABLE!, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 19:19, Reply)

Apparently I saw a famous person today
I thought I was just watching some dude do that running up walls and doing a flip thing, but according to some excited teenagers it was Alex Reid. I had to ask who that was, admittedly, but it's still *like* seeing someone famous
( Citizen Cavy is reporting your crimes to the great leader on, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 19:48, Reply)

Ah, that'll be that parkour (sp) stuff. Impressive, though.

There are no famous people where I live. I saw an early morning alky sorting through the bottles in the recycling boxes yesterday. He's famous in the neighbourhood, poor bastard.
(Phudbree Like a teuchter Albert Fish, Sat 30 Jun 2012, 20:01, Reply)