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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Howay B3ta woman man pet. Gerra grip.
I bore witness to a mangled person in the road this morning.
What sights have you seen today that you'd rather not have?

alt. Royal Family: Do they do enough for this country? Are you for or against? I preferred it when they were more ruthless for the throne as opposed to just sitting there waiting for it.

altalt. alright?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:36, 143 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
SLUGS!
alt: yer they're alright, I've met a few of them they seemed pretty nice.

altalt: I ma tired, I was up from 1:30 until 5am
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:38, Reply)
You coulda just recorded Game of Thrones

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:41, Reply)
to what end?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:42, Reply)
3am I think

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Slugs are pretty horrid.
I had a couple in my kitchen until I found where they were getting in and left a line of salt.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:52, Reply)
I can't salt these as it'll kill my lettuces...I have to go out witha torch and physcially remove them

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:53, Reply)
They'll have anything if it's not tied down.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:54, Reply)
so youre saying i need to tie my lettuces down with straing?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:56, Reply)
Im saying keep your options open.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:56, Reply)
STOP GROOMING ME

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Plant yoghurt pots full of beer or something liek that round your cabbages and watch the fuckers drown

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:46, Reply)
Everyone I work with
Alt: We get a load of income from their properties or summat. Someone did alright at dick-swinging back in the day and here we are, what can you do? it's their land by dick-swinging rights

Altalt: No
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:39, Reply)
'sup xavier?
The unhappy bear
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Wotcha Jay
I'm a coupla pills and a random shag away from happiness, but we live in hope eh?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:02, Reply)
Easily remedied!

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:03, Reply)
Bloody hell
your lot will chase anything with a bumhole wont you
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:06, Reply)
Pretty much.
Just like your lot do with a pair of tits and an easy vagina.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:15, Reply)
Some of us don't even want a pair.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Alright Jaysums
I'd rather not have seen the clock this morning indicating that I was 1 hr 20 mins late getting up.
Alt: Yeah, they're good lads, leave 'em to it.
Altalt: Of course, MEATSNAKE iz da bezt. Apart from I felt like I was going to vomit earlier but I had a Kit-Kat (2 finger) and feel normal again.

Lots of love,

MEATSNAKE xx
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:42, Reply)
i had an iced biscuit with smarties on

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:45, Reply)
Cor! You're spoilt. I haz chocolate hob-nobs at home, in a cardboard tube!

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:46, Reply)
Are you unwell, Frog?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:48, Reply)
Why do you ask, dear?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:49, Reply)
Just worried, hun.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:49, Reply)
No, I think I am alright.....

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:50, Reply)
Find out tomorrow :(

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:50, Reply)
Be alright either way.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:52, Reply)
Yeah, I'm not too worried, but am a little bit worried!
As you say, either way... :)
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Its probs ebola
Have you been monkey fucking in Guinea again
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:07, Reply)
I had three cups of tea and some Marmite on tuurrrst.
I might have to break for the lunch border early.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:47, Reply)
I have a meeting from 12 until 2 :(((~(

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:47, Reply)
Free sarnies though, eh?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:48, Reply)
yer...i might get a meatball wrap

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:48, Reply)
There's an old school caff where I can get scampi, chips and beans close by.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:49, Reply)
sounds shit

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:54, Reply)
It's polystyrene boxes of awesome.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:56, Reply)
i CAN'T TOUCH POLYSTRYRENE IT MAKES ME FEEL FUNNY

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:00, Reply)
+ IN MY WINKY

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:02, Reply)
it's now until 2:30 >: (

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:54, Reply)
I have pastrami bagels for lunch, I'm looking forward to lunch. When's lunch?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:48, Reply)
Any time between now and a bit later

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Wicked, cheers, probably wait until a bit later.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Hangover sicky?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:52, Reply)
No, just didn't wake up which is unusual for me. Made it to work only 40 minutes late as I am awesome.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:54, Reply)
stage two brain cancer innit

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:54, Reply)
Without doubt, with my tiny malfunctioning brayn I won't have long left.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Im tired today. I was a little (very) stoned yesterday.
I did discover Modern Family though. Funny.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:53, Reply)
Are you hoping they will replace your family who have disoewned you for being a frightful bender>

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
My family love me.
My parents wer even considering moving to Manc once my Gran has carked it.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:57, Reply)
BUT YOU'LL NEVER GIVE THEM GRANDKIDS WILL YOU JAYSIM, WILL YOU!

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:59, Reply)
They don't want them.
Spesh not now. Dad's just took early retirement and doesn't want it filled with screaming kids
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:03, Reply)
i think they've misunderstodd what it means to be agrandparent

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:04, Reply)
well I sure as shit won't be raising it. I hate kids.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Putin is right
hate fuck...
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)
That's the one above me dear.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:14, Reply)
You like the chutnoids in it.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
I thought I'd hate the big fat one but he's really funny.
I hate stereotype gays.

Unless they're fit.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Is the term 'modern family' part of your relentless gay agenda to force homosexual parenting into the public consciousness?
I fucking bet it is.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:57, Reply)
I don't think gays should have kids yet.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:02, Reply)
They can't, it's a biological impossibility

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:02, Reply)
see below

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:03, Reply)
no one wants to be born out of a mans bum

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:02, Reply)
That's how coloureds are made

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:03, Reply)
your like darmins second coming

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:05, Reply)
Darmin?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:06, Reply)
Darmin

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Darmin?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:07, Reply)
Theory of Emolution

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Darvin?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Darmin

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)
Have you been watching "The Plantagenets"

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)
I missed last week'd gonna catch up on i-palyer

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:12, Reply)
I'm going to watch a documentary on the dambusters tonight! Paaaaarty!!

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:13, Reply)
I once saw someone squished in a car on Stockport road
but haven't seen anything nasty for a while, unless a dead deer counts.

alt, Even though she has sampled William's lizard seed I would totes still do a sex onto Middleton.

Altalt. Yeah just busy
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:55, Reply)
Over her sister?
Kate is a beaut mind. Let's hope they don't kill her like they did Diana.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:58, Reply)
Kate is far and away the more attractive of the 2
I never got the sister thing
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:01, Reply)
All about the back of her head or summat weren't it?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:04, Reply)
She has an ok arse
and the papers decided that she was the fittest thing on the planet,
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:10, Reply)
If it was Stockport at least you know that their life was worthless

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 11:58, Reply)
I saw a smack head get hit by a car in Blackpool.
Clipped him and he spun round, then proceeded to attack all cars that followed.

Delightful place
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Well yeah
Bus slammed a car into a lamppost and passing pedestrian was bonked on the head all squishy
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:01, Reply)
I made a curry last night so epic that I had leftovers for breakfast
I then unleashed the most foul creation ever to not have slithered out of Rory's mum upon the world
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:08, Reply)
was it vegetarian? yes?
then is was shit.

HTH
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:12, Reply)
I made a lamb vindaloo on Saturday night. It was lush.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:14, Reply)
That sounds like a proper curry

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:15, Reply)
It's the vindaloo part that makes it "proper"
Two scotch bonnets minimum or GTFO
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:17, Reply)
No its the death and suffering of an animal that makes it proper

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 13:03, Reply)
By reverse-engineering your logic
I assume that your personality, face and mum are also vegetarian
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:16, Reply)
His mum *definitely* eats 'meat'.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:17, Reply)
I bet she insists on a Quorn-flavoured condom

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:19, Reply)
Condom? No way, she likes is when I hose down her uterus like the firemen in the gaviscon advert.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:21, Reply)
I was about to accuse you of having a micropenis
But Naker's mum does moonlight as the Dartford tunnel
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:29, Reply)
And I also do have a micropenis.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:29, Reply)
Ah so your name is ironic
Like The Neverending Story
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:35, Reply)
MEATSNAKE doesn't denote size though, it's mysterious innit

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:38, Reply)
Snakes are generally quite sizeable
Although they do come in a wide variety of sizes, I see what you're doing here, nice one

Also MEATTADPOLE just leaves no element of mystery
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:41, Reply)
Well, my previous username was frog, sooo.....

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:43, Reply)
I used my psychic powers to deduce this about you

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:45, Reply)
I'm not sure if its still eating if you refuse to swallow.
"Swallow bitch, there's people starving in Africa" didn't go down half as well as she did.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:56, Reply)
Essentially curried cauliflower.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Bitch please
I have standards. When you give up flesh you don't start with the crappest vegetables. I mean when you decided on a life of sodomy you didn't immediately seduce Alan Carr did you
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:19, Reply)
cauliflower is a bit lame
although i saw a recipe at the weekend for a roasted cauliflower salad that looked ok
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:40, Reply)
where are you buying gold shiny cauliflower?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:42, Reply)
harrods food hall
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-514799/The-orange-purple-green-cauliflowers-scientists-claim-healthier-you.html
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:49, Reply)
Would you be surpised to learn that I...
...like cauliflower?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:53, Reply)
no
you like all the shit vegetables
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 13:02, Reply)
CORRECT!!!! \o/

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 13:03, Reply)
No. No I did not.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:41, Reply)
No, I bet you went full Barrowman
and who could blame you
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:44, Reply)
Vegetarian indian food?
Wow, what a world.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Bet they wish they'd thought of it themselves

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:34, Reply)
hi gang!

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:23, Reply)
It's a click from me!

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:25, Reply)
half way to the populol page then!

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:26, Reply)
I remain amazed that you ever found your way out of your mother's womb
Although she does make the exit pretty obvious
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:28, Reply)
alright Darth
How's the gender dysphoria and severe mental illness treating you?
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:30, Reply)
Alright Dozer
Not so bad ta
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:33, Reply)
great news!

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:34, Reply)
I had a quick tidy up last night and realised I've got 8 different prescription medications available to me presently
I might open a chemists. Our tagline will be "None of these fucking work"
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:36, Reply)
Best check Monty isn't standing outside your front door already

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:37, Reply)
How will I recognise him?
Tramps are fucking everywhere
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:41, Reply)
Asian guy attached by the head to his crotch

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:45, Reply)
have you tried just cheering up a bit?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:37, Reply)
my dad was prescribed some majorly heavy painkiller (tramadol i think) for his knee replacement
being a tough sod, he refused to take it after the first few days, so binned all the rest of it. he was really surprised to be told people pay for that sort of thing.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:40, Reply)
What a waste

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:41, Reply)
i'd have given them all to bory or dozer
if they'd promised to swallow them all at once
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:42, Reply)
Wouldn't have worked
Spunk neutralises Tramadol.

Er, so I'm told
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:46, Reply)
I have some Diazepam at home, it's alright.

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:46, Reply)
Oh none of mine are for anything so corporeal as pain
They're to treat my chronic emo-ness. And insomnia
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:43, Reply)
my cab went past a cyclist who was covered in a red "incident blanket" last week, not good
alt: i think they bring in a lot of cash in tourism, let them get on with it. prince andrew should have his cunt head stuck on a pike though, as a warning to other fat wasters.

altalt: yes - i just got a really glowing appraisal, so very very happy with that.
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 12:39, Reply)
altalt
"Could suck a monkey through 50ft of garden hose A+++ would pay again"
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 13:06, Reply)
it's like you were there

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 13:21, Reply)
Doesn't the royal family save us like shitloads of money because they don't profit on their land they own or something?

(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 13:12, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhyYgnhhKFw
(, Mon 7 Apr 2014, 13:12, Reply)

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