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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Come on guys. Where you all at on a Wednesday?
I've got a Lady Gaga concert and a trip home for a charity event coming up. What do you have coming up?

alt. I hate (HATE) those faux leather look tees that are in fashion right now. What do you hate?

altalt. Lunch or something food related.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 11:55, 260 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
^^^ GAYYYYY

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 11:56, Reply)
anything you want to own up to, Monty?
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/sports-direct-security-guard-banned-jewish-schoolboys-and-told-them-no-jews-no-jews-9735919.html
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 11:59, Reply)
copenhagen baby
i'm excited, everyone says it's a lovely city. then a month of saving and being sensible, before meatsnake and i hit new york. i may or may not push him off the empire state building. we'll see how he behaves.

faux leather what? i have seen no such thing.

lunch will be a burrito, but not until about 3pm, then it will be lunch and dinner.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 11:59, Reply)

This kind of thing...
www.zara.com/uk/en/sale/man/t-shirts-and-sweatshirts/%2299%22-perforated-faux-leather-t-shirt-c542162p1668531.html#

Horrid.
Some quiffed cunt bumped into me when I was out on sunday night wearing one. I apologised and then he overly dramatised things by wiping his hand and then flexing his fingers for about 5 minutes while glaring at me.
I called him a cunt and his tee, shit.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:05, Reply)
grossssssssss

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:06, Reply)
how do you flex your fingers?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:08, Reply)
Like he stretched them out and balled them up. Like he'd been cut or something.
Fucking drama queen.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:12, Reply)
With lube and latex gloves.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:12, Reply)
You going to Copenhagen?
It's quite nice, but not quite as great as I was expecting.

What is worth doing though is taking the train across the Oresund Bridge to Malmo. Only takes about half an hour.

You're welcome.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:12, Reply)
gracias
we have no idea what we're doing yet, so i'll chuck that in the pot. one of the girls said she doesn't care about sight seeing, but there is a shop she wants to go to for clothes........ she's on her own there................................
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:12, Reply)
The boat trips are pretty good, although be prepared - the Little Mermaid is not as big as you would perhaps expect.
It's literally only about 6 foot high.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:29, Reply)
I'm working on two different issues at the same time at the moment
Its quite hard to do. My house purchaser has just been told he has until the end of the month to complete or he can fuck off and post-lunch I'm gonna give Asda both barrels. Got to pop into town at lunchtime for a card for the boy as its his birthday on Friday

Alt:
Dealing with companies, full stop. The levels of unadulterated fuckwittery I've had to wade through recently are getting me all "clock tower sniper rifley"

AltAlt:
Lunch is two pork pies, two boiled eggs, some nice cheddar, pickled onions and beetroot
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:01, Reply)
Just a card? that's a bit snide ;)

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:06, Reply)
ha!
He's got a Mariokart Scalextric track and some Cars/Planes stuff too
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:10, Reply)
He's a steve martin fan?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:12, Reply)
WHO ISN'T!!?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:15, Reply)
I'm guessing...monty

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:21, Reply)
He's got
or possibly more accurately YOU'VE got a mariocart Scalextric
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)
tggi^

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:28, Reply)
my trainee is so posh that she makes the queen sound like a chav
she does these silly tiny high pitched sneezes, about 15 in a row. i feel like saying, dude, if you just do one giant sneeze, it's much more effective... but i guess you can't control how you sneeze. can you?
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:07, Reply)
"eh up duck, juss wipe snot on sleeve like us northerns dur"

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:08, Reply)
that doesn't affect the noise
unless you sneeze into the sleeve, i suppose. is that what you yokels do?
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:10, Reply)
At least down south we can afford sleeves

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:11, Reply)
alright worzel, don't set fire to yer straw

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:12, Reply)
it seems that your geography is a strong as your para-legal skills

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:15, Reply)
you are now a bumpkin
you even grow stuff.

BUMPKIN PUMPKIN!
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:16, Reply)
PUMPKIN HAIR COLOUR ^

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:17, Reply)
:(

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:21, Reply)
TKO to APE

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)
ape is dead now
you haven't been teh ape for ages
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:43, Reply)
I've got ape running through me like a stcik of rock

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:45, Reply)
rupert more like

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:47, Reply)
is that a euphemism?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:54, Reply)

5.9.83.79/talk/7765439
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:26, Reply)
tedious repetition followed by my inevitable death
alt: people who use the term "tees"

altalt: you have a potato head
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:07, Reply)
I love you too bebbeh

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:13, Reply)
A gig at the Electric Ballroom next month
Not fussed about the band but it's cheap and a good excuse to wander round the smoke for the day and get pissed at night. I'm planning to see the Imperial War Museum and that tunnel under Waterloo this time.

Alt: People who think the amount of exercise they did last night is of any interest to me whatsoever.

the amount of exercise they did last night is their lives are

Altalt: #healthytimes Chez Clay :(((( A crappy wholemeal pitta that falls apart after one bite filled with green stuff and a distinct lack of kebab meat.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:09, Reply)
shove some houmous in it
tasty and holds it all together
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:10, Reply)
Good plan, I might get some chilli houmous

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:12, Reply)
YES!
jalapeno houmous is the shit.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:21, Reply)
pretty sure I'm gonna have bacon, sausage and eggs

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:11, Reply)
So will I, once the road to "abs of steel" is complete

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:14, Reply)
ok, I'll see you down the kebab van in 2312

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:16, Reply)
Perfect post pub kebab time!
Oh, go on then, just the one, I'll do extra crunches or something, maybe.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:18, Reply)
I LOVE documenting peoples runs from facebook.
Said no-one ever
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:14, Reply)
I LOVE people who write sentences ending "said no one ever"
said no one ever
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:16, Reply)
I had gluten free bread recently.
QWhat's even the point. it was like sawdust
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:16, Reply)
I think the point is that some people are gluten-intolerant

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:20, Reply)

gluten tangles
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)
tangles-intolerant people still need me in their lives.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)
so don't eat bread.
That shit doesn't taste like bread.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)
Gluten-intolerant people still need carbohydrates in their diets.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)
All right, calm the fuck down and have a gluten-free biscuit you joke intolerant cunt.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:26, Reply)
I was responding to a thread, whar is the pissy response for?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:28, Reply)
Your prissy love for gluten free diets.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:32, Reply)
I'm not the one who has been eating gluten free bread

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:33, Reply)
funny how western people are gluten, lactose etc intolerent these days
I bet you don't get those issues in Africa
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:23, Reply)
Well why don't you just go and live in Africa if you love it so much?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:27, Reply)
Bit AIDsy for my liking

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:32, Reply)
Alright Jay. Up your neck of the woods this weekend, I won't stalk you, honest.
Alt, not seen one of those. They sound awful.
Alt. alt, lunch is egg sarnies, then a few hours kip then feeding the masses their curries tonight. Happy daze.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:10, Reply)
Don't worry, Im not in the city centre this weekend.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:15, Reply)
alright
I hate kikes, faggots, Islams, Micks, Paddies, chinks and jigaboos.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:11, Reply)
shut up

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:11, Reply)
Edgy as per.
Said no-one.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:15, Reply)
EVER

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)
Leather look Tshirt?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:22, Reply)
big in the gay scene

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)
Jason is big in any scene

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:25, Reply)
his forehead certainly is

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:28, Reply)
Your FIVE head is.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:31, Reply)
finally you learn to count!

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)
dozer calling anyone else a slaphead is like lemmy calling a pigeon a stupid bird

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:35, Reply)
shit off, bignose

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)
how could i enhance a big misshapen nose even more? i could shove a ring through it, that'd distract everyone
ooh and my eyebrows
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)
dunno Gill, you're the one with a big misshapen nose, not me

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:52, Reply)
upset^

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:53, Reply)
far from it, my nose is normal.
Unlike Gill's.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:57, Reply)
upset online^

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:00, Reply)
yes, she is, isn't she?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)
I know you are but what am I?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:04, Reply)
a bent 'Gregory Riding' spastic

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:05, Reply)
i dunt get it

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:06, Reply)
we've all seen pics of you, tomas
normal it ain't
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:02, Reply)
quick someone gaz the mods 'tim' is calling someone a name a bit like their real name!!!

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:02, Reply)
Swipe's real name is Bill?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)
'member when he got upset about 'tim stilton' and gazzed the mods to change it? lolzorz

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:09, Reply)
i heard to help keep the leccy meter full he hires himself out as a mobile cinema screen

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:32, Reply)
Aaron Paul's forehead is miniscule in comparison

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:35, Reply)
he's a beaut!

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:37, Reply)
his forehead is smaller than yours

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)
I've never once had someone mock my forehead.
Please take your desperate attempts at humour elsewhere, or come back with someone whose opinion I give a fuck about.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:43, Reply)
you could always pierce it
nothing says cool and sexy like facial piercings
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:44, Reply)
+edgy and original

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:45, Reply)
yeah, fuck society, man
fuck conformity
fuck looking like a normal human being and not whistling when the wind blows or having massive gaping holes in your skin
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:46, Reply)
Plus, it really impresses the chicks at the skate park.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:47, Reply)
he was a sk8rboi he said c u later boi

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:47, Reply)
I used to. Then I grew up.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:46, Reply)
...until now

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:57, Reply)
Yer
but I don't care about the opinion of a jumped up, mid-life crisis, dictionary-bashing, multi pierced skater prick with a misplaced sense of self worth and a rodent up his anus.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)
the what?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:05, Reply)
^ dictionary bashing.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:08, Reply)
^^upset

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:08, Reply)
he's terrifically discombobulated, eh?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)
you appear to have hit on his raw contrafibularities.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:14, Reply)
Jog on King Edward.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:23, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:24, Reply)
srezod ffo kcuf

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:27, Reply)
I'm going to take the two little tangles to a gig at the weekend.
That should be fun.

Alt: People who bring their kids to gigs.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:32, Reply)
are you going to see ONe Direction

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:33, Reply)
Yes*





*No
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:33, Reply)
damn
So who are you going to see, tell me someone they want to see and not a beardy weirdy drone folk ensemble
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:34, Reply)
1D innit

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:35, Reply)
It's no one particularly good, but it is a gig specifically for kids
www.shemakeswar.com/ - Doesn't look as though she has a beard.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:37, Reply)
a quick listen leads me to the conclusion that she is "fucking shit"
I suggest throwing piss at her
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:39, Reply)
Yer, twee prick with a uke innit

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:40, Reply)
Christmas holibobs in Cologne
And a meeting at another bank prior to hunting for a nice one bed new build in MK with a "dual aspect" window in the bog.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:49, Reply)
are you buying with your doris?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:50, Reply)
Yeah, turns out she's loaded.
*rubs fingers together in best money-grubbing fashion*
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:52, Reply)
i hear wedding bells
I you want me to do the ebst man's speech? I'm goood at speeches
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:53, Reply)
We're a little way away from that, yet
But we rub along pretty well, well enough that I let her meet some of these pricks. It has been noted, however, that it's pointless us both having large sums of money knocking about whilst paying rent, so...
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:55, Reply)
where are you looking? where you are now?
wanna buy my flat?
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:58, Reply)
Teddington-ish
Chiswick
Dunno, isn't Barnes where all the pikeys live?
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:59, Reply)
yep absolutely it's rough as hell around there...

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:00, Reply)
Been through it. Looked like a war zone.
I locked my doors for realsies.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)
The weekly farmers market reminds me of a UN aid mission handout

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:05, Reply)
I drove past that shop that purely sells differently infused olive oils
And there was a riot because they'd run out of Croatian chilli and basil extra virgin
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:09, Reply)
dark days in Broken Barnes

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)
oi, K Dogg
Don't go to banks for mortgage advice. They only advise on their own products (or from a very small panel of providers). Find an independent adviser, they're the only ones who can access the entire marketplace and genuinely find you the best deal.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:56, Reply)
This is just for early ideas of budgets, nobody's signing anything just yet.
I shall take that on board, though.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:57, Reply)
still, an independent adviser will give you the initial meeting at no cost.
They may do the mortgage for a proc fee depending on the amount borrowed. Even if you do need to pay, say, £400 for the advice you'll save that within a year. Not all lenders are listed on comparison sites, and many don't deal directly with borrowers.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:00, Reply)
Oh Christ he's off again

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:58, Reply)
this is literally the advice from the 1st page of Moneysavingexpert.com
Are you teh financial equivalent of wikiwarrior chimpy?
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:59, Reply)
the fact that you went to moneysavingexpert.com speaks volumes

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:01, Reply)
they give soome good solid advice on a number of matters, you shouldn't mock from your hamster stuffed shit tower

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:02, Reply)
genuine lol for hamster stuffed shit tower

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:03, Reply)
stuffed hamster shit tower also works

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:05, Reply)
they give generic guidance
Not advice.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:04, Reply)
well yes, but if you are looking for a first mortgage etc there is good guidance on different products etc

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:07, Reply)
anybody using 'guidance' to find their first mortgage deserves to get stung on a shit deal
That goes for investment and retirement advice too, especially from banks.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:09, Reply)
you are clearly being purposefully thick
at least I hope it's on purpose
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:10, Reply)
you mean people actually need things like variable rate, fixed rate etc explaining?
Christ.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:13, Reply)
uh huh, plus broker options, upfront fees, stamp duty, solicitor costs etc etc

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:15, Reply)
woah woah slow down, is this advice or guidance?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)
neither

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)
fod

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:17, Reply)
fewer

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:21, Reply)
it's "more fewer THAN"

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:26, Reply)
Fucking hell, people are thick.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)
i'd rather pay a few pounds extra every month than give pricks like you a salary

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:59, Reply)
Yeah it's three times their combined income.
Can you afford that?
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:08, Reply)
MMR m8.
Affordability, not salary multiples.
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:10, Reply)
Measles, mumps and rubella?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)
mortgage market review

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:12, Reply)
Fuck off dozers

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:15, Reply)
And they're protected against German measles
edit:pish
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:11, Reply)
And then they lend three times their combined salary even if they have measles.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:13, Reply)
easier to live in your wife's house gifted to her by her parents I reckon

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:16, Reply)
Or buy a mansion in Barnet WITH CASH

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:17, Reply)
That must be everyone's dream.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:18, Reply)
One you can look in AND out of?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:57, Reply)
One you can look down BOTH directions of my dull provincial backwater side street whilst having a piss :)

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 12:58, Reply)
I'M VERY UPSET

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:09, Reply)
UH-OH!!!
'Sup?
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:12, Reply)
IM UPSET

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:15, Reply)
well put yourself back up straight again, then

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:25, Reply)
Chinny reckon
Set Your Gerard To Pissed
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:48, Reply)
He can expect another soon then.

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:50, Reply)
Least he won't need embalming
alternatively will be fastest cremation ever
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:55, Reply)
Isn't that what everyone does?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 13:53, Reply)
Only on Thursdays
and Fridays
and Saturdays
and ....
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 14:03, Reply)
My boss is walking round topless. it's very distracting

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 14:03, Reply)
Is she attractive?

(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 14:06, Reply)
He is well buff.
Gun show's over now though, back to normality
(, Wed 17 Sep 2014, 14:08, Reply)

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