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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I've got a headache that I'm 90% sure is an aneurysmand I'm so stressed out I'm likely to 'Arson Dave' the next cunt who pisses me off.
How's your day going?
Alt: Are you a hypochondriac, or do you never bother the doc?*
I reckon my medical notes are full of doctor shorthand for 'hypochandriac twat'
*Real docs, I mean, not DBT
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:44,
227 replies,
latest was 10 years ago)
doctor bent tosser got struck off the medical register for fingering his child patients and now peddles kiddygrot from his decaying and soon to be bankrupt pub(, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:49, Reply)
Does anyone here find you funny anymore?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:52,
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I don't try to be sweets. You do, and it's painful.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:04,
Reply)
I'm having a great day, despite the 'H8RS' trying to bring me down because I'm winning at life. Unlucky, loooosers, PAUL FTW(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:49,
Reply)
I think I'm coming down with a cold, b3thAlt: I'm a man. We don't trouble doctors.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:49,
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Why would I go to Bear Pookie for medical advice?I wouldn't trust that cunt with a pair of plastic scissors.
get some water down you. Might be dehydrated pet.
alt. Very rare I go to the doctor. usually when I need a sick note. I have a very good immune system, despite the impending AIDS.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:50,
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It's in a different place to a dehydration headache.That's usually about the temples. This is right between the eyes.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:53,
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have you tried bashing the area with a hammer?(
GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:56,
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Are you sure you didn't sleepwalk into an abbatoirand get bolt-gunned before they realised you weren't a customer?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:59,
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Great thanks! Tip top, clickin heels A-OK!alt: I hate the doctors although is does keep me up with who the cast of Hollyoaks were shagging last year and the top rated caravan of 2009
(, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:50, Reply)
I'm always goin' docs but i'm also fucked so it's all fair-doos.Was gonna go to a job interview today but I woke up with an awful ache of the belly so have delayed it.
I saw my medical book the last time I was down 'ostaple, and I swear man, it was like 5 inches thick, and apparently that's my third one.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:58,
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I reckon it's more the ulsers, strictures and inflamation.... rather than the pizza I had last night.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:08,
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I don't think that is the cause of crohn's disease(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:12,
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What am I? His Dr?I don't know what you lot have got.
apart from a shit sense of humour
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:16,
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I'm not so sure, I would have thought a medical profesional* would have mentioned that to me at one point or another.* who has seen my case.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:12,
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Whoa hold up there, I think you're forgetting that Jayse here is pretty well known for being good at admin That's got to count for something, right?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:16,
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He just wants me to take a load of Moviprep for sexual practice =((
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:19,
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I think it's more pertinent that he has a lot of experience in proctology.(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:20,
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My wife is constantly telling me to go to the doctors This time because I've lost a stone and a half in about 6 weeks. I've told her its just gas but she thinks theres something wrong.
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Peej, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 12:59,
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Have your eating habits changed?Any more symptoms?
Lie down and take your pants off.
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GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:06,
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Don't listen to her, you don't need doctorsI lost a stone and a half in about six weeks once, took a couple of paracetamol and had an early night and I was right as rain the following day.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:12,
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Poo. I have fallen foul of Her Majesty's vehicle taxing laws twice in one year on the same fucking car.This time it's only half my fault, though. I'm still the cunt stitched with the fines, though.
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Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:00,
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Getting some training and an expansion of my role into project management.(
Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:07,
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Somebody's got to do it and it'll help me get a better job later.(
Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:11,
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There's only one thing worse than a project and that's a special project. (, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:10, Reply)
I say it's only half my fault. It's mostly, if not entirely my fault.Basically, scrapped my car last year. Turns out I'm still the registered keeper. The scrap yard didn't do their end of the paperwork but then, neither did I. One year later, it's not taxed, not SORN and still in my name.
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Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:02,
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We part exchanged our last car for out current car and they didn't do the paperworksold it on to another dealer who also didn't do the paperwork (I assume to keep the number of registered keepers down) we got a warning letter to say it was almost time to SORN or tax and sorted it all out just in time.
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Peej, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:12,
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I've moved four times in the last three years. I got a bit behind with my paperwork.I'm assuming it went to one of my previous addresses.
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Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:16,
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They managed to find you to fine youStory doesn't add up, now what have you done with Maddy's body!
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Peej, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:17,
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The guy across the road from ushas his car registered in his name, but at our address. I'm guessing it was 'fat fingers syndrome' when he filled out the paperwork.
I keep getting his DVLA letters, but because I'm nice, I always take them across to his house.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:18,
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Someone somewhere has the same named house as oursand has somehow fucked up and used our postcode. So even though the address in the middle is nothing like ours the post office don't give a fuck and keep sending us their mail.
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Peej, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:30,
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I wish, the relatives probably have the real addressMy last house before I stopped being rentscum got regular tesco clubcard vouchers, whoever it was was using their card and not clocking that they weren't getting the vouchers. got a fuck load of free booze out of them.
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Peej, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:53,
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I've got that Natalie Imbruglia song in my head now.#SORN
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:07,
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It's important to understand the statistical likelihood of both headaches and aneurysms and then look at the numbers. I once went to the opticians for new glasses and failed the visual field test and was referred to a neurologist. The optician stupidly told me 'its probably nothing to worry about so long as you aren't getting headaches'. Cue painful and terrifying brain tumour headaches starting the next day and lasting until I was given the all clear and it all tuned out to be nothing.
(, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:01, Reply)
His story is "absolutely nothing of interest has ever happened to him".(
Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:04,
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It's certainly not as interesting as being an international fugitive (
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:05,
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I just can't stay on the straight and narrow. I'm constantly on the run from teh traffic popo(
Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:08,
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"I once had nothing wrong with me but panicked because I'm a hypochondriac, girly, limp-wristed sick note with shit eyes and a pissy nappy"(
Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:10,
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And you admitted it on the internet you shity cry baby pissy pants doctor botherer."Oh doctor, please I have a terrible sniffle. WOn't you kiss my boo boo? :("
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Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:12,
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With any luck, you'll get an extra epithet! I'm hoping for "snivelling".(
Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:17,
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Sorry this bullying seems to stem from my comment, which was really just a wry and clever use of the word 'tuned' as used in error at the end of your anecdote.(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:13,
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No, there's a subtext about wanting to be introduced to your dad(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:14,
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Yeah, not this time.But thank you for playing.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:09,
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Today is turning out to be a MEATSNAKE inspired oneJust had an offer on the house of £1k below asking price, my work today has been cancelled and got bought a pint.
Alt:
Apart from my back (which seems to have been OK for a year now), I'm NEVER ill. The last time I went to the docs was probably 2 or 3 years ago (for my back).
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:38,
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No, he needs to get outso the new owners can get in.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:43,
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this^Tonight will now be beer, wine, pizza, shots of patron, wanking
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:53,
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Don't be silly. He lives 'up north'.It's £39k at best.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:43,
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It works out about £45k cash or thereabouts(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:52,
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I'm still deaf in one ear and groggy from yesterdays migraine.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:44,
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Are non black or grey suits acceptableBecause I'd give this twat a life sentence just for the blue on blue on blue. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-29566395
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Peej, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:49,
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With a white shirt, that would have looked ok(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:54,
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Blue is fine, that suit is absolutely fucking awful(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:58,
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This is truePeej was asking about the colour, not the suit itself
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:59,
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Navy is an absolutely classic suit colour you yokelBlack should only been worn at funerals or at night. Wearing it during the day makes you look like an undertaker or try hard.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:56,
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I wear grey in the dayand morning suit is black jacket so there.
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Peej, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:59,
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Also blue suits can be great in the right circumstances (
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:01,
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Apart from the terrible cut.And the fact he clearly bought it just for that court appearance.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:55,
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Northern ent he? Anything above a tracksuit is 'smart'(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:57,
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I haven't owned a tracksuit since I was about 10(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 13:58,
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They get too dirty down't mines(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:16,
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HOW VERY DARE YOUI HAVE TWO FULLY WORKING LEGS
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:15,
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This That's far more relevant than the colour,
Blue suits in general are fine, the triple blue is quite shit but I do on occasion rock the triple black so I am just as bad, At least his tie is darker than the shirt #smallmercies
(, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:05, Reply)
triple black...TRIPLE BLACKyou should never wear a black shirt EVER, unless you're in a bad "metal" band or serving drinks somewhere tacky
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:38,
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Of course they are. Black, grey, blue, brown.Although that particular suit is fucking terrible.
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Kroney, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:04,
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They have given that Malala girl, the one shot in the head for going to school in 'Stan, the Nobel Peace Prize? They should be rewarding the NHS doctors that fixed her up and the British taxpayer!
(, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:04, Reply)
I dont think we should even be celebrating this, to be honest(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:07,
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I think we need to send a few motherfuckers black home. Coming over here, smelling of sewage.
(, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:13, Reply)
She's basically being honoured for having a thick head(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:16,
Reply)
It's not like she shot herself in the head to make a political statement. (, Fri 10 Oct 2014, 14:11, Reply)
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