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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Should have known better...
Regale the board with tales of your stupidity. I recently plugged in the power for a tape drive...into a running server. Large bang and no server...

Alt:
Top three/bottom three foodstuffs
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:29, 162 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
well, it seems this will be as good as it gets today.
Everyone has their Monday head on.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:32, Reply)
Im not fond of melon.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:32, Reply)
I had you down as more of a sausage man than a melon man

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:33, Reply)
I said im NOT fond of melon.
I bloody love sausage
omnomnomnom
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:41, Reply)
ttj

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:56, Reply)
We wanted to hang some pictures a couple of weeks back
So I took my hammer and put it straight through a plasterboard stud wall.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:32, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:33, Reply)
Going to have to try and figure out how to hide that before we move out...

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:35, Reply)
Put a picture up

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:37, Reply)
I did, but that picture's coming with us.
The hammer didn't go completely through, luckily. I shall have to try and pull it out as best I can and patch it up with filler or summat.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:39, Reply)
I have the "joy" of having to go under our stairs to find where a draught is coming from at some point this week

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:40, Reply)
hang a portrait of Thatcher
nobody would be disrespectful enough to take that down
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:44, Reply)
I flashed the bios of a laptop to add a custom bootscreen and used too many colours. Bios flash failed, laptop was completely unusable and beyond economical repair.
Alt. Top=Cows, Pigs, Chickens Bottom=Courgettes, Aubergines, Bananas
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:33, Reply)
Chicken above lamb?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:34, Reply)
That is tough
its a close thing, I love lamb but I eat a lot more chicken.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:46, Reply)
paging doctor Freud! paging doctor Freud!

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:46, Reply)
hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:48, Reply)
I prefer a lemon up there, to be honest

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:59, Reply)
fobtqftw

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:43, Reply)
I spent Sunday wondering if my chicken in the fridge would be edible and left the pub to cook it.
Turns out I froze it days beforehand when I came home at closing time.
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:44, Reply)
Bottom 3:
celery
prawns
cauliflower
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:53, Reply)
But how can you make cauliflower cheese?????

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:57, Reply)
WITHASPOON!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:58, Reply)
With broccoli, DUH

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:02, Reply)
That's broccoli cheese!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:10, Reply)
it's exactly this kind of lax attitude to language that lost is the Empire

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:12, Reply)
Do you not use celery in other cooking?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 14:58, Reply)
FUCK NO
What sort of cunt hides celery in something?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:02, Reply)
\o
Makes soups taste MUCH nicer
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:05, Reply)
use celeriac or celery seed
the sticks are basically a carrier for low fat cream cheese for clericals who hate themselves so much that they won't even eat rice crackers
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:08, Reply)
I like celery
and I cannot lie
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:24, Reply)
i quite like it spread with peanut butter
this is also nice on apple slices
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:37, Reply)
I fancy making that Jamie Oliver salad thing he did with the peanut butter dressing
It looked "nom"
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:40, Reply)
i fucking love peanut butter
peanut butter cheesecake, peanut butter ice cream, peanut butter biscuits, peanut butter toasted bagels... nom nom nom.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:44, Reply)
I don't much like peanuts either
really, I need to swap out cauliflower for peanuts.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:04, Reply)
you're worse than b3th

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:46, Reply)
have you tried it?
no? then don't talk out of your arsehole.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:47, Reply)
I'd rather put a celery stick in my arsehole than my cakehole

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:53, Reply)
this says more about you than it does about me and sporty

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:09, Reply)
nowt wrong with a bit of bum fun
Not my fault you're a massive spod whose greatest joy is dry crackers and handbags
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:11, Reply)
the stereophonics really shouldn't have messed with the original

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:16, Reply)
they really shouldn't have done anything ever

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:19, Reply)
i was peering down the bottomless well at ripleys, wondering how they'd got permission from the landlord to knock it that far down
frog wandered past and sneered, "crap mirrors".

oh.

alt: assuming you mean basics, rather than actual dishes: top - cheese, lentils/chickpeas, chocolate. bottom - meat, coffee, sprouts
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:00, Reply)

i was peering down the bottomless well at ripleys, wondering how they'd got permission from the landlord to knock it that far down
frog wandered past and sneered, "crap mirrors".

Spoon / Fork mix-up.
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:08, Reply)
Top 3:
Cheese (assuming I can't just pick pizza)
Pork in all its forms
Baked beans
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:05, Reply)
Cheese is 107% win

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:28, Reply)
Cheese is fucking evil.
Except, possibly, something mild like maasdam.
Cheese flavoured crisps, however, are fine.

cf. prawn cocktail.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:36, Reply)
oh b3th

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:39, Reply)
To be fair,
the hate is entirely mutual. Cheese (and also, sadly, ice cream) *really* doesn't like me.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:41, Reply)
YOU cannot be lactose intolerant

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:42, Reply)
Because I'm a cow?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:44, Reply)
No, the udder one

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Thats me

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:45, Reply)
Ah, right.
Gotcha.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:45, Reply)
cheese and ice cream are two of the best things on the planet
the world would be a better place if many everyday items were made of these two foodstuffs.

mmmmm, edible trains.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:42, Reply)
I really miss ice cream.
And butter. Real butter was lovely.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:45, Reply)
i hardly ever have it
only on hot real french bread. the only things france has ever given to the world: decent bread and champagne.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:47, Reply)
Terrible bullying of Kroney

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:47, Reply)
oh alright, fine
i forgot about the stench of garlic and gauloises
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:54, Reply)
Still not French, you guys

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:55, Reply)
That's exactly what a frenchie would say

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:56, Reply)
Champagne (as a drink) was originally english
as we were the only country able to produce bottles strong enough, the whole French thing a bullshit PR...

Bread I will let you have though
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:52, Reply)
what a pile of wank
The process originated in Limoux a century earlier, it just wasn't made in glass bottles because they were too weak and too expensive.
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:59, Reply)
Hi rachel!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:39, Reply)
I was up to the back wheels in some Mexicana and stilton at the weekend with crackers

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:39, Reply)
I feels better if you warm it up in the microwave for 30 seconds.
BUT NO MORE
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:41, Reply)
Cheesybel

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:41, Reply)
you're worse than rachel

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:42, Reply)
that's lady swipe to you

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:43, Reply)
nah

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:45, Reply)
yes
grovel, peasant
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:46, Reply)
nobody has ever grovelled to a wage slave who still lives in a two bed flat in her forties

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:52, Reply)
one quarter of my flat would buy your little peasant hovel

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:53, Reply)
course it would, pet

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:55, Reply)
i wouldn't want it though
urgh, that ghastly "garden".

shudder.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:56, Reply)
I bet you actually use the word "ghastly" in real life

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:58, Reply)
it has been known

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:59, Reply)
usually when quoting monty

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:59, Reply)

quoting describing
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:01, Reply)
that too

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:01, Reply)

Top:
Beef
Cheese
Tomato

Bottom:
Melon
Celery
Courgette
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:16, Reply)
If Jay is allowed "Cheese" can I have "Meat"

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:18, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2400248
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:18, Reply)
I paid good money to go to the cinema to watch all of the following:
Curly Sue, Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, Runaway Bride, Blame It On The Bellboy, Spy Hard, Regarding Henry, Drop Dead Fred, Hello Again, The Smurfs, Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 The Squeakquel, Twister and Man of Steel.

Alt: Top 3 = lamb, cheese, beercan. Bottom 3 = sprouts, nuts, cress
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:29, Reply)
Nuts?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:29, Reply)
Nah, not that big a Streisand fan.

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:31, Reply)
You nose it

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:31, Reply)
In a row? 'kin hell

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Just tried to get some work done and found myself singing Jim Diamond
So I came back to say fuck you very much for the earworm sporters
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:42, Reply)
I wont let you down

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:44, Reply)
Sounds like quite the Boon.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 15:55, Reply)
Its hometime!
and for that reason, I'm out!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:02, Reply)
the clocks have gone back you fool
there's still an hour left
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:03, Reply)
fuck the clocks, man
they're just a tool of the oppressor, man
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:08, Reply)
time is a man made concept anyway

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:18, Reply)
that's like totally deep, man

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:24, Reply)
how can you tell through pants?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:25, Reply)
depends how fast your panting

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:26, Reply)
like a fat dog in a hot car

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:27, Reply)
All concepts are man made you imbecile

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:40, Reply)
Have you asked any animals their opinion lately?

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:56, Reply)
or plants for that matter?
No.
Because you are SELFISH!
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:56, Reply)
Except it's measurable.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:41, Reply)
only cos men have defined it so
time is relative, and can be bent, just ask jaysum
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:43, Reply)
but are you measuring time or is time measuring you, man?

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:43, Reply)
^^figment of his own deranged imagination

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:45, Reply)
If there was no one there to read the post of an upset OT autist,
would it make a sound?

Makes you think.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:53, Reply)
^can't read without sounding out the words^

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:54, Reply)
^ dozer sock puppet ^

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:56, Reply)
too far,man

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:58, Reply)
nothing is real because quantum mechanics

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:50, Reply)
yeah, and we know what your large hardon likes to collide with

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:52, Reply)
WOMENS FANNYS
ADULT WOMENS FANNYS

NOT young boys bums

Tell all your friends
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:55, Reply)
fannies

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:58, Reply)
your a fucking fannie

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:59, Reply)
in usa that means bums

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:59, Reply)
and bums means homeless people
what a fucked up country
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 17:12, Reply)
that's weird
I'm sure the internet told me that God is real "because quantum".
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:54, Reply)
I can tell god is real
because I can hear his voice telling me to set fire to buildings.

Doesn't everyone get that?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:57, Reply)
only paedos

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 17:09, Reply)
We're gods chosen people

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 17:13, Reply)
is that why you have youre own register?

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 17:26, Reply)
I'm hungry. Might put a celery stick up my arse.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:10, Reply)
don't forget the peanut lube

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:11, Reply)
Suncowpat

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Only to try and fish out the Roscoff onions

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 17:31, Reply)
... than to cheat a friend!
And waste a chance that I'd been given!
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you-woo-oooo
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:27, Reply)
*saxomophones*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:30, Reply)
your sax intolerant?

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:31, Reply)
Mrs Cow is

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:34, Reply)
......than to lie to someone as beautiful as you!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 16:52, Reply)
Why didn't Boyce tell us about his brush with fame today?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-29784493
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 27 Oct 2014, 17:20, Reply)

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