up yer bum

( mr horrible up yours, dickface, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 7:41, 96 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

that's where you wanna be

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 7:59, Reply)

cor!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:15, Reply)

Not again

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:17, Reply)

don't tell him what your name is, Private Pike!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:18, Reply)

Up MY bum?
Surely not.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:21, Reply)

*rakes aside fronds of hemp and clumps of old lentils*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:49, Reply)

Sexy as fuck.
And I don't say that very often.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:51, Reply)

I think the difference is that this time you really mean it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:05, Reply)

It's so much better when everyone's cunt kids are on half term
No traffic, you can breathe on the tube... A much better start to the day tra la la
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:49, Reply)

povvo tube commuter

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:51, Reply)

I'm in a cab RIGHT NOW
But kensington to the city is rather less pov than council estate to industrial estate in your beaten up crotchfruit estate
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:05, Reply)

hey ... I'm not judging, love ... life is all about choices
your choices mean you dry washing over the bath, put up guests on a sofa, and take public transport to work for a twenty hour day. In your forties.

I don't know you personally so obviously I'm not going to say you're a mug. But you do sound like a fucking mug.

No offence like.
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:12, Reply)

My lifestyle is better than yours
No, My lifestyle is better than yours

Repeat ad infinitum
( Peej, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:17, Reply)

Yeah ... you're only saying that because you're sitting in the Bahamas being fellated by Kelly Rowland

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:19, Reply)

He's just jealous of people who can actually hold down a job

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:20, Reply)

yeah ... it's terrible having the financial security that I don't have to work long hours and can take a year off every few years
I honestly don't know how I manage

:( :( :(
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:22, Reply)

it must be terrible living in the arse end of nowhere and trying to convince yourself it's ok
imagine if you worked a bit harder, and got on with people rather than having to be a "consultant", you could have bought something a bit nicer.

ah well. this time next year, eh, rodders?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:27, Reply)

there's three hundred people in the building
dunno why anybody would imagine the word "consultant" involves being on my own
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:29, Reply)

your repellent personality and face are why you are on your own
instead of enjoying the camaraderie of decent colleagues
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:30, Reply)

this obsession would be flattering if you weren't a mumsie humanities spod

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:54, Reply)

The word itself implies that there needs to be at least one other person to 'consult' with them.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:31, Reply)

what, this clown?
he probably "consults" with his own reflection every morning
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:37, Reply)

Now I can see what you've done, Ange - you've just sat down and put on your lipstick.
Next time, will you try this for me? Just sit down, relax, and say to yourself "I have very beautiful lips" and I tell you, Ange, you're gonna see the difference! All right?!
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:54, Reply)

Jesus, remind me never to tell you my shit salary, where I shop, what my degree is and how much my house is worth.
You'd spit on me
( Peej, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:32, Reply)

you begged me to spit on it last time...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:36, Reply)

To be fair only one of us was on their knees
and I don't recall having to beg for anything.
( Peej, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:38, Reply)

i can't decide whether to say that's because your mind was obviously blown or that i definitely remember you begging for pie and beer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:39, Reply)

I paid for my own pie and beer AND bought you a drink
I'm not Ch*mpy thank you very much.
( Peej, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:50, Reply)

I love you just the way you are.

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:56, Reply)

I had this issue yesterday
I managed to shift in my seat at work and ripped my boxer shorts
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:55, Reply)

f
(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 8:57, Reply)

It was like a baby's arm

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:00, Reply)

You mean it WAS a baby's arm?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:09, Reply)

it's not baggyfrock

(old man river possible lesbian, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:13, Reply)

Look, I had an itch UP THERE ok?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Where is Frog, I have a present for him

( Peej, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:03, Reply)

I killed him

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:05, Reply)

It's kinder than dumping him in New York,

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:09, Reply)

Usefull

( Peej, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:19, Reply)

'alright', and 'up yerbum', two classy last posts there. Btw, is this a request, like'gob job mate?'

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:06, Reply)

...says the king of online banter, Dribbling Bent Tosswank

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:10, Reply)

HI GANG

( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:07, Reply)

pricks

( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:17, Reply)

Forever Kronely :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:17, Reply)

wanna blowjob boss?

( Two Hats I saw someone eating M&M's with a spoon, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:10, Reply)

FROOOOOOOOOOG!
FROOOOOOOOOOG WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!
( Peej, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Prostrate cancer risk is cut, by having a high number of ejaculations. I bet dozer is glad he's such a wanker then.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:35, Reply)

SAFE

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:36, Reply)

I'm glad he'll be with us for a long time.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:42, Reply)

You can only get prostrate cancer if you lie down

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:44, Reply)

goddammit i was going to say that
moooo!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:48, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:48, Reply)

:(

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 9:51, Reply)

gid moaning

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:05, Reply)

fuck you then

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:10, Reply)

Welcome to my world.

( Kroney, Wed 29 Oct 2014, 10:13, Reply)