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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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You're the devil in disguise
Just now A few days ago I saw about 8 teenage kids all sharing one tiny joint whilst trying to look like a gang. It was laughable

Tell me of your teenage ways. Were you a right little cunt or a goody-two-shoes?

Alt:
Movember. Shite or shite?
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 15:49, 161 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Austerity Britain :(
We used to quite often go twos-up on a cigarette in morning break.

Alt: The Movember community has raised £346 million to date and funded over 800 programmes in 21 countries. This work is saving and improving the lives of men affected by prostate cancer, testicular cancer and mental health problems.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 15:51, Reply)
If only this was mutually exclusive with being an utter prick.
Sadly, it is not.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 15:52, Reply)
What percentage of that would have been contributed to charity without the need for a gimmick @#wpb?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 15:54, Reply)
fuck all if the ice bucket challenge malarky is anything to go by

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 15:57, Reply)
As with all these gimmick charities the overall fundraised (across all charities) doesnt go up by very much
all that tends to happen is that people stop their usual charitable spending and divert it to the "named" cause.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:00, Reply)
this^

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:05, Reply)
^that

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:06, Reply)
^what he said

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:13, Reply)
^and the other

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:14, Reply)
Gimmicks like a 10k run?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:08, Reply)
Piece of piss
21k is where its at
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:14, Reply)
Can't you run a marathon?
Fat cunt.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:15, Reply)
wot a loser

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:16, Reply)
Ive signed up for boxing but that ent got nothin to do with it being November
Its a good mixture of cardio and weights, ill be doing at least one 10k run pre month with a few 5s thrown in.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:18, Reply)
A bunch of 5's if you will

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:19, Reply)
Nothing for this
Brilliant witty reply

You lot are just shite
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:27, Reply)
i'm really proud of you m8, i'm sure the smoking and lack of fitness will really help.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:20, Reply)
Should be alright innit blud

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:23, Reply)
the blitz spirit should pull you through the first k Ian, after that well...

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:26, Reply)
I'm gonna grow a Lord Kitchener moustache to help raise more money

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:27, Reply)
don't forget to break your leg before the first race mate, it's at least an excuse that nobody will see through

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:30, Reply)
I hope you get Michael Watsoned

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:25, Reply)
Fuck that shit, yo
13.1 4 LYF
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:32, Reply)
One seems to involve minor effort, the other is attention seeking as far as I can gather, almost like a 'gimmick' if you will

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:16, Reply)
No. as they charity has to "buy" the places it offers to the runners from the event organisers
This means that they have a vested interest in the event and it does the participant some good as well.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:17, Reply)
Just imagine all the good they could have done if all the fucking thick pricks who grow them because 'it's movember innit' chucked a few quid in

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 15:55, Reply)
i was very rebellious in a very good way
no drugs or abortions or serious shizzle, but lots of detentions for wearing make-up, under age drinking etc.

alt: anything that raises money for charity is good. but it doesn't look pleasant on most dudes.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 15:57, Reply)
Alt or most women

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:01, Reply)
shambles would disagree
he likes the hairy look, or at least tells himself that.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:08, Reply)
see? more bizarre fantasies about my life
it's almost as if your own life is really fucking dull
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:14, Reply)
anyone seen dozer's irony checker?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:15, Reply)
ahahahahahahahahahaha obv is obv
shambles Frog
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:15, Reply)
As the resident OT doctor, I confirm that women who don't shave their pits are lesbians.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:19, Reply)
what about moustaches?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:24, Reply)
Obviously. Over hairy muffs are decidedly Sapphic too.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:30, Reply)
Bungle was the Queen of the Lezzers

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:33, Reply)
Bungle is male. Just a bit bent.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:35, Reply)
that's what she wants you to think

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:38, Reply)
a massive spod

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:07, Reply)
I look like a dodgy porn star with a 'tache. Gets the missus frothing at the gash ;))

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:01, Reply)
It sure does
Because it means she has an excuse not to go near you for a whole month and she can get some strange out by the bottle bins outside while you are grooming yourself in the bar room mirror
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:02, Reply)
She doesn'tdo it by the bins, you're confusing her with a OT poster.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:15, Reply)
I certainly broke many laws but nothing that would have caused personal harm
that was always my moral line.


Alt shite for cunts to look like shitey cunts
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:04, Reply)
Giving to charity is admirable.
'Doing' things for charity is self-indulgent and for wankers.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:05, Reply)
We have all done YM for charity

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:06, Reply)
we were quite self indulgent

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:06, Reply)
yeah
raising awareness is always terrible.

you stupid stupid fuckface.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:39, Reply)
There is doing something worthwhile to raise profile etc
And then shit like movember and ice bucket, I would bet that a sizable number of the ice bucketers didn't know what charity they were meant to be supporting and also failed to get any money donated/ donate
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:49, Reply)
drugs and fucking and nicking stuff

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:08, Reply)
and shit sailor tattoos

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:08, Reply)
and that fire on the ICI explosive factory

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:09, Reply)
and that car crash

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:11, Reply)
And that time you shot the Archduke
but I don't think much came from that in the end
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:18, Reply)
we once shot my mate's brother in the back of the head
but that serves him right for being poor and living in a house with really thin walls
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:22, Reply)
He probably had a dream about it

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:35, Reply)
I always suspected he was having a wank when we shot him.
He was properly furious.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:37, Reply)
I think if I'd just been shot I'd be a tad peeved

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:41, Reply)
it was only a graze
it's not like he lost an eye or owt
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:42, Reply)
Still, if you put him off his stroke he'd be really pissed

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:45, Reply)
But at least you didn't decapitate any pimps

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:36, Reply)
something I've regretted to this very day

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:42, Reply)
Well when you put it like that, Movember doesn't sound too bad

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:09, Reply)
I might go Amish for the month to distance myself from the pricks

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:15, Reply)
Can't you just shave properly like a normal person?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:16, Reply)
shaving is for pricks and nancies

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:18, Reply)
beards are for paedos, tramps and wankers.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:21, Reply)
and adult men

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:23, Reply)
Cher's later efforts courted controversy

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:32, Reply)
Nah your right ... I am in

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:18, Reply)
I was generally good.
I did go off the rails a few times and give my parents a bit hell with underage drinking and mischief etc.
I moved out on my 18th birthday to move in with a man. :)

alt. Shite
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:18, Reply)
Was he gentle with you?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:21, Reply)
No, he was a raging alcoholic who used to smash up the flat.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:35, Reply)
you live, you learn.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:36, Reply)

the flat my back doors
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:58, Reply)
And the bumming... never forget the bumming

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:21, Reply)
How could he forget that? I assume he was the bummee, not the bummer?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:24, Reply)
your childhood made you the small minded thick unhealthy gaylord that we all know and are repulsed by

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:22, Reply)
what a stroke of genius!

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:36, Reply)
poor rory

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:58, Reply)
Headdobber lols.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:59, Reply)
SUBTHREAD SUBTHREAD SUBTHREAD, I know @RichardMcBeef has my back on this
I'm going to cook a load Chilli tonight, and I need tips'n'recpies.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:40, Reply)
Jamie Oliver is a dick
Hth
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:41, Reply)
make a veggie chilli
lots of beans and smoked paprika and roasted butternut squash.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:42, Reply)
I love smoked paprika

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:45, Reply)

ed paprika ing the pink oboe
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:53, Reply)
I play a mean tune

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:54, Reply)
With a jaunty smile

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:59, Reply)
Hmm, I might be in on the Butternut Squash if I can get some maybe pre-cut so I don't need to use a whole one

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:46, Reply)
Just roast a whole one then scoop chunks in

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:52, Reply)
i wouldn't put squash in a meat chilli
but if you go for a veggie bean chilli, it's the shit
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:16, Reply)
Cook it for as long as you can on low
Eat tomorrow

McBeef will mention black treacle and I also recommend a bit of dark chocolate
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:42, Reply)
Also:
Sour cream, sliced spring onions and red chilli over the top for extra NOM
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:43, Reply)
Sour cream and spring onion afters, check

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:48, Reply)
Treacle + black chocolate - yup, I'm in on that. CHECK

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:47, Reply)

treacle cock
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:56, Reply)
BAke some wraps with butter then sprinkle with coriander and like juice for nommy "chips"

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:36, Reply)
Sweetcorn gives it the crunch.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:47, Reply)
make enough for twelve and then throw the rest away and then complain that it's too expensive to cook for only one person

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:47, Reply)
I want this one to give me lots of stuff this time for a few days worth of eating

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:48, Reply)
Your poor toilet. Hope you stocked up on the wet wipes.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:50, Reply)
You know what, I really worry what other people go through when it comes to the shitter.
Everyone tells me how bad their shits are if they eat this or that, it's always far worst than mine.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:40, Reply)
put jam in it and sprinkle cheese and onion crisps on top

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:48, Reply)
was gonna forget the emmingtile, I'll have soem

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:48, Reply)
Cheese on chilli is also good

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:50, Reply)
What meat are you using? Try something different from beef mince, such ad pork.
Seafood is good too, misture of whitefish, tuna and prawns.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 16:59, Reply)
pork and duck are good additions
seafood sounds as stupid as fucking squash

no offence like
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:00, Reply)
I think I would try a seafood chilli.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:06, Reply)
The old fucker knows nowt m8.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:12, Reply)
even his own pancreas wishes he was dead
he should try feeding it some tasty squash once in a while
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:15, Reply)
Jenny has been in the nest box all day apparently, looks as if we're possibly going to be grandparents :)

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:19, Reply)
zomg baby birdies
sooooooooo cute
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:19, Reply)
They are ugly as fuck newly hatched.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:21, Reply)
true
they look like revolting prawns for a couple of weeks.

but then squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:22, Reply)
Apparently Jimmy is frustrated, he's shouty and throwing their toys around.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:31, Reply)
he knows the difference between chili and fish stew

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:16, Reply)
lesbian

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:15, Reply)
I had some bacon lardons so i'm using them up, then half a packet of Lamb mince and half a packet of Beef mince
'cus they were on special offer.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:43, Reply)
Turn it upside over a bowl, wait for it to congeal into a solid mass, then turn it right way up and post a photo of the resulting abortion on Facebook just in time for my lunch.
Ta.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:06, Reply)
don't diss the cheese sandwich explosions!

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:13, Reply)
Add some dark chocolate.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:14, Reply)
i've heard this, but i've never been convinced

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:16, Reply)
Have you tried it?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:17, Reply)
no
i don't think i've ever seen it recommended for a veggie chilli.

the thought of it makes my nose wrinkle, but i know lots of people swear by it.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:18, Reply)
Probably won't work with a veggie chilli.
It might, but I doubt it.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:24, Reply)
It's a Jelly Baby for vegetarian chilli.
A yellow one, for preference. Everybody knows this.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:25, Reply)
You should use red jelly babies if you want your chilli to be hotter.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:31, Reply)
les vrais connaisseurs use tangfastics

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:33, Reply)
aren't jelly babies made from pork gelatine?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:34, Reply)
Yellow ones are made from Chinese ophans.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:39, Reply)
Cool, I picked some up with the treakle, how much?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:39, Reply)
two or three creme eggs per kilo of meat

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:42, Reply)
Cook it.
Then eat a salad, having flushed the chilli straight down the crapper.

For extra authenticity, takes several hours flicking bits of chilli around the rim of the toilet, with particular focus on those hard to reach places.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:16, Reply)
OK, the dead is done, it's just on the hob on the lowest setting now, it has
- 2 onions
- 2 smoked Chipotle
- 1 smoked SomeChiliBeginingWithC
- Pork Lardons, Lamb, Beef
- A tin of chopped tomartos
- A tin of "Three bean" bean mix, 'cus thats what I had in and wanted to use them up
- a half a jar of chargrilled red peppers
- A big dollop of treacle
- half a bar of 85% chocolate.
- Pappreeka
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:58, Reply)
Naturally I browed off the meat, then the onions, and all that.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:58, Reply)
Unless it was a small bar of chocolate, you've put in too much.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:42, Reply)
That Gottfrid Warg chap (founder of Pirate Bay) seems to have got his grooming tips from Tangles.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:29, Reply)
Tangles is going boxing!!!!
Hahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahaahhahaahhaa *breaths* hahahhahahaahaahahhahahahahahahahhahaaahahaha *falls over*
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:35, Reply)
Whatwhat?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:43, Reply)
Smoking weed, and playing a mandolin ain't the best training for hitting others, whilst avoiding a smack in the gob yourself.

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:44, Reply)
Why is that funny?
I'm a proper Mr Muscle
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:44, Reply)
#LEDGEBANTAMWEIGHT

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:55, Reply)
Will a hemp trouser wearing lute player perform your entrance music?

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:57, Reply)
he'll stand there swaying and say he doesn't believe in violence, maaaaaaaaaaaaaan

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:57, Reply)
I'm confident I can teach my opponents the errors of their ways

(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:03, Reply)
I'll hide your baggie and swap your green "A friend with [weed] is better" clipper for an empty yellow cheapo one with the flint hijacked low.... then deny the whole thing and say I saw your oponent playing with your rucksack earlier
This'll induce such a rage that you'll be unstoppable.
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 18:20, Reply)
hahahahahahahahahaha
this is genius
(, Mon 3 Nov 2014, 17:52, Reply)

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