This is crap.
Why are you crap?
alt. Now that Jeffstock is over, where will you be taking me for drinks in 2015?
altalt. Megadrive or SNES?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:12, 111 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

CRAP!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:22, Reply)

^coprophile^

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:47, Reply)

i'm not crap
i'm superb, bordering on angelic.

alt: soho baby.

altalt: neither, my armpits don't stink, and i go outside once in a while...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:23, Reply)

bit stereotypical.
all the "lads" wont want to be round a load of queers.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:29, Reply)

i like the soho theatre
really decent stuff on, cheap as anything, and a good bar. but don't spread it around, we don't want ghastly tourists invading it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:34, Reply)

`e could get,,, sausaged!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 16:04, Reply)

The return venue will be Bristol way.
Normally around March time.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:24, Reply)

Old people getting nostalgic about obsolete technology.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:25, Reply)

dull soulless dance music
I bet you're older. You type like an octogenarian.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:30, Reply)

How rude
Alt: I dunno. We could go and get rat-arsed and watch some panto if you fancy?

Altalt: I was raised Baptist but I'm probably classed as 'undecided/dirtysinner'
( Ms Shenanigans put something interesting here later, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:27, Reply)

Who said I was crap?
I'm fucking AEWSOME! Ask anyone.
Alt: up the tradesman's
AltAlt: Megadrive.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:27, Reply)

I asked at lolbash, and they weren't terribly keen on you.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:43, Reply)

It would he a delight to go out with you jaysums. Do remember the converse and elasticated skinnies and vest top and we can go to a pub where they beat up the gays and i can leave you there.

(Mr Udagawa, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:28, Reply)

leave you there beg you to take me firmly but gently for the first time
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:29, Reply)

You may run the risk of enjoying yourself for once.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:31, Reply)

dunno to all as usual

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:28, Reply)

classic Meaty!

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:29, Reply)

Dropped out of uni to get drunk and run pubs, ride motorbikes and take drugs.
It's meant that now my job prospects are fairly slim.

Alt: I'm actually going to be up north in January. If you promise not to use Gay rape on me I might get you a bacardi breezer.

Altalt: neither. I'm not some nostalgia prick.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:31, Reply)

North where?
Manchester is pretty far down imo.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:32, Reply)

Newcastle, Manchester and Durham are the 3 places we're stopping in at.
Not sure in what order mind. I'm just driving.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:36, Reply)

I'd meet you in all three, mate.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:40, Reply)

Come along.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:41, Reply)

I may be in either. Im heading up Newcastle in Jan for a weekend.
Lucky you eh!?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:42, Reply)

I'm up for a pint.
Gonna stop in York in the way up too I reckon, just so I can not meet dozer for a pint.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:43, Reply)

boy, will you look at that rain

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:48, Reply)

None here meaty. You sure someone isn't just passing out the window of the floor above?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:50, Reply)

Musical Youth don't live there anymore m8

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:51, Reply)

you
thanks to you, this is how i got woken up at 1am on sat night/sun morning.

first, imagine being woken up by the sound of a pisshead ineptly stabbing the front door with a key, and then "tiptoeing" around the flat like an elephant doing ballet.

secondly, after 20 mins of pissing around, said elephant realises you are awake, bounds on the bed with a terrifying 12 hours' drinking grin, and says, "I MET WINDY PIG AND MRS WINDY PIG!!!"

and then repeats it 8 more times.

what did you do to him?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:53, Reply)

I dunno,
But I do know I'm not sorry.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:56, Reply)

stab stab stabby

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:57, Reply)

"AARGH! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"
Shouted an exasperated Swipe in the middle of the night, as PBM MEATSNAKE slept noisily and 'diagonally', oblivious to the trouble he was in.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:06, Reply)

You're a modern hero.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:10, Reply)

Do what I want don't I

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:11, Reply)

Also, proper lol.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:57, Reply)

I don't know why this consistent behaviour continues to surprise you

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:58, Reply)

slow learner ... maybe encourage her with sweeties and gold stars

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:59, Reply)

ugh
diamonds or gtfo
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:06, Reply)

since when did the retarded kids get rewarded with diamond-shaped stickers?
PC gone mad
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:20, Reply)

dunno
but some people reward their 'tards with gay marzipan cakes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:23, Reply)

I do wish you'd stop reminding people what an ace father I am.
It's very upsetting. I should imagine.
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:26, Reply)

it's ok
you bleat on about festivals and drugs and being a raddled 50 year old alkie often enough for the truth to be out there
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:31, Reply)

yeah ... kids hate festivals
you twit spinster
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:33, Reply)

what kids hate
is seeing their spastic old man thinking he's still 21 despite being 51 and looking 61...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:39, Reply)

yeah

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:40, Reply)

^ upset

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:53, Reply)

She really ought to be grateful you're not the pissing on the bedclothes type.
Woman doesn't know when she's onto a good thing.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

lols.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

DUNNOLOL

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

I've been "shopping" since this morning and so far all I have is a posh vase and some incredibly twee cake implements
I totes rock at Christmas.
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:50, Reply)

Get everyone lingerie. Except the kids. Get them a ticket to a pantomime.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:51, Reply)

Thanks, Jim Davidson

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:57, Reply)

Why do the kids have to miss out on the lingerie
bit discriminatory that winders
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:25, Reply)

terrible bullying of baggyfrock too

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:30, Reply)

I was just browsing the webs and found a gem on this page
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eunice_Huthart

Last paragraph

In 2012, Eunice also became a spokeswoman for the RSPB. After attempting to rescue a pigeon that had been the victim of a hate crime she become one of the foremost pigeon rights activists in the North West. Sadly, despite Eunice's best efforts, the pigeon's injuries were too severe and it tragically passed, however this spurred Eunice on to take up the role of Official Pigeon Ambassador in the RSPB, a post she holds to this day.

Lolz
( Peej, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:53, Reply)

I remember her.
And I think I have eaten in her willage.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:04, Reply)

Can pigeons be hate crime victims?

( Peej, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:06, Reply)

deffo
I hate the little bastards.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:21, Reply)

But is it a crime?

( Peej, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:23, Reply)

Pigeons are good people. So probably.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:25, Reply)

Only if it was attacked by a flock of robins

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:26, Reply)

I'm arranging more viewings for Saturday.
Dunno how many places we've seen now, to be honest. Got to be north of thirty. My phone is a constant cacophony of keen calls from property "consultants". My weekends are spending driving, driving, driving. I exist in a never-ending state of mild worry over whether there'll be parking spaces. Morale is high but the troops are weary. I am not crap, merely my situation.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 14:58, Reply)

I don't know why you don't just go and find a property you like and buy it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

This is basically the attitude behind 90% of the calls I get.
"So, it was in your price range, when are you making an offer?"
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

some people like making their lives difficult

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:02, Reply)

I like making my mrs happy.
bit gay like, but there it is.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:17, Reply)

having a happy heterosexual relationship is WELL gay

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:19, Reply)

^THIS^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:28, Reply)

I'm not crap, I'm busy.
Alt: Rainbows
Altalt: Computer games are for the nerd kids. Come up the rec for some cider and fags.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:00, Reply)

whoa ... only the hard kids drink on the rec ... you can see the police station from there
I'll be drinking my tramp champers behind the Methodist Church
(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:01, Reply)

I've plenty fags already thank you very much
and I didn't have to go to a dodgy shed to get them.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:03, Reply)

^had a face like a plasterers radio^

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:29, Reply)

Just had a wee after needing one for about two hours.
It was an almost spiritual experience. If I still smoked I'd probably have to go for a cigarette.

Five stars. Highly recommended.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:39, Reply)

I hope you did it with both hands behind your neck and saying "awwww yeaaaah"

(old man river possible lesbian, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:41, Reply)

I was stunned into silence, my buttocks all a-quiver.
Marvellous. Imma hit up a triple pint of water and go again.
( Kroney, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:44, Reply)

HELLOSIR!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:50, Reply)

^mine

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:50, Reply)

^mine

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 16:03, Reply)

I ent crap
HONNUST
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Nov 2014, 15:52, Reply)