If I had my way, sending smiley's in work correspondence, either through email or instant messaging, would result in instant dismissal.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:24, 3 replies, latest was 9 years ago)

How about kisses after your name?
Only to customers and suppliers, obv.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:25, Reply)

This is essential if they sound hot on the phone.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:40, Reply)

add two stone

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:41, Reply)

Unfortunately true, which is why you must keep all flirting to phone and email and never meet them.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

this is why nobody ever meets me

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)

Nah, it's because you are a prick

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:45, Reply)

IT'S BECAUSE I'M TWO STONE OVERWEIGHT!!!!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)

Pub in Nether Poppleton, surprised by how fat he was.

( Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)

he called me gay to a homeless man and laughed at my jacket

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:51, Reply)

An extra two stone's never put me off a promise.

( Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:43, Reply)

Agreed. I'd add people that put 'KR' insteand of 'Kind regards'
Regards, kind or otherwise, aint worth shit if you can't be bothered to type out the full word.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:26, Reply)

*votes Clay*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)

I deplore the phrase 'kind regards'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:28, Reply)

tggi.
'gentle reminder' can fuck right off as well.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:30, Reply)

If it's internal then it's quite acceptable to commence with 'chaps' or 'gents'
If it's to someone external, then signing off with 'laterz m8' is more than acceptable.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:33, Reply)

I tend to use 'cheers'.
Unless I think the recipient is a prick. Then I use 'regards'.

I also instantly dislike anyone who uses read receipts and refuse to send them on principle.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)

I sign off my emails with my name, that's it.
Fucking false politeness can get fucked. I hate all of these cunts and I don't care if they think I'm rude.
( Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:37, Reply)

are you legless?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:39, Reply)

Don't ever say that again.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:44, Reply)

cheers

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:47, Reply)

This^
It always confuses me when I get a "J" in the middle of an email
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)