Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
microshambles is having a crisis because her best mate isn't going to the school discoI'm moving to Rio when she hits her teens
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 7:45, Reply)
those glasses that darken in sunlight always make people look like cunts(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 8:01,
Reply)
Terrible bullying of Chompy(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 8:23,
Reply)
i saw someone with them this morning, they just make you look like you have a really really really shit pair of sunglasses(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 8:30,
Reply)
I concur.And those glasses with a mild tint make people look like sex offenders.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:50,
Reply)
Or - more accurately - 'pedophiles'.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:57,
Reply)
LAST DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 8:23,
Reply)
they'll eat your face and guts while you're still aliveyou'll soon warm up
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 8:40, Reply)
Hey leave it, that profile is a safe happy place where he still has a girlfriend and is a successful Norwich ballroom dancer.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:03,
Reply)
I'd be surprised if he hasn't tried to have a go on Nicola, chunky goth girlz with no self esteem for the win !(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:59, Reply)
men using 'tote' style canvas bags to carry their accoutrements and personal items look like cunts(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:03,
Reply)
I've got a Damnably Records one of those!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:04,
Reply)
I've got a 'Whole Foods' one that's in the bin(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:05,
Reply)
Also don't think I haven't noticed you are all happy and excited because its your last day you shitcunt (
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:06,
Reply)
Yet I still have to go to a meeting this morningWhat's that all about, eh?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:32,
Reply)
if you carry a record bag without records in it then you're a dickif you carry records in it then you're still a dick
Keyword: dick
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:09, Reply)
Why would you need to? I keep mine by the lamp near the record player.(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:27,
Reply)
But how will people know you are a DJ unless you carry a bag of records around with you at all times?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:31,
Reply)
That's no guarantee these days, you could just be a prick.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:33,
Reply)
I am both.I have my massive silver Sony headphones on. Plugged in to a tiny mp3 player.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:36, Reply)
sometimes I go round to my friend's house and we listen to our records and tape the top 40 off the radio(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:31, Reply)
I don't think my status as a dick has ever been in question, has it?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:23,
Reply)
probably, I mean I don't technically know what they are but I bet they do(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:07,
Reply)
totesAhahaha ... because like 'totes' can also be an abbreviation of 'totally' ahahaha very witty indeed
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:07, Reply)
stop distracting from my wry observations with your witty asides please(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:09,
Reply)
I don't remember gargling razor blades but that's the only explanation for my bloobloothroat today(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:18,
Reply)
SICK TWICE IN ONE WEEK*, ONE DAY BEFORE GOING ON HOLLIBOBSWHYYYYYYYYYYY?
*OK the first time was a hangover but still, whyyyyyyyyy?
(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:25,
Reply)
weak french immune system?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:07,
Reply)
My immune system is the strongest part of the massive, powerful bear of a man I am.You prick.
(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:15,
Reply)
I heard you get bullied by French schoolgirls and squeak with fright when you hear your own fartsIt's just what I heard.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)
My guts areI had the "KEBAB OF DOOOOOOOM" last night and thus have been suffering meat sweats
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:27,
Reply)
I'm currently lolling at the states of people in here after the Christmas doI fear we may actually lose a member of ICT
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:48,
Reply)
Some places do this because they think that the staff won't get too cunted as they have work the next day.Doesn't work.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:51,
Reply)
Nopeand it never has. A lad who worked in our office came in at 9am the other year and slept on his desk until 2pm
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:54,
Reply)
Haha, before our gear all got sent down to a datacentre there was a pillow in our server room.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:56,
Reply)
In my old place we had a settee in there(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:59,
Reply)
When I was a kid I worked in a bowling alley.The day after the Christmas party, one machine was shut down for half the day. We eventually investigated to find a lane tech fast asleep on top of it wrapped up in a roll of carpet.
(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:00,
Reply)
Aww you're reminding me of my time at the bookies.Quite often me and the deputy manager used to take it in turns to sleep in the back office.
She once ordered me to go to the pub at lunchtime and have a pint to sort myself out. She was great.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:02,
Reply)
this is why pub work was great.Everyone understood proper hangovers and helped each other right. A decent nap in the office and a strong Irish coffee would see anyone right.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:05,
Reply)
I never knew you worked with Stunned. (
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:01,
Reply)
About 50% of our staff are home workersThey get free hotel during the week up here
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 9:54,
Reply)
last day today, last day today. hurrah huzzah and ticketyboo it's my last day today!All I've got to do tomorrow is take the van back. I might treat myself to one final greasy roadside bun and a pint of shit tea in a plastic cup.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:03,
Reply)
"skips in a circle"(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:06,
Reply)
Me too!Well, except for a one day encore on the 29th. Today feels like my last day, though. This is the last day of my last week.
(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:13,
Reply)
Good morning, el dozo.I went to Byron Burger last night with my brother.
I'd never been before, and now I've been twice in one week - what am I like, eh?
I saw that Sierra Nevada was available - so ordered one, and he a Brew Dog Dead Pony Club.
Imagine our disappointment to find out that both came in cans - it was - how you say? "Fucking disgusting".
The burgers were good, mind.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:11,
Reply)
How did the can make them "Fucking disgusting"?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:12,
Reply)
Tainted it, it was a bit dead, bland ... just not even a patch on the bottled stuff.Sirrius - we approached with open minds ready to be impressed, but it was pretty grim.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:16,
Reply)
You do realise this was all in your head and that canning beer is better for it than bottling it though, right?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
Nuh-uh.I have had many, many bottles of Sierra Nevada, and only that one can.
It was different; it was grim.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
How's that? My understanding is that bottles are completely neutral and inert.(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
Whereas cans somehow impart some evil into the drink?Beer is susceptible to heat, light and air.
Bottles do not protect it as well as cans do.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
^^^beerwrongCans impart an unwanted metallic taste, bottles don't.
Also canned beers have more gas in.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:31, Reply)
If you are not pouring your beer into a glass then you are not fully tasting it.And more gas? Really?
Come on...
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:32,
Reply)
I like it poured into a pint glass while in a pub rather than drinking cans from a 'slab' kept in a dirty old fridge in the garage like some kind of benefits scum(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
Indeed, only plebs drink from a bottleTo me the really cheap stuff isn't that different in can or bottle, it's still crap, but the good stuff is much better from the bottle.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)
To you, yes.But if there is a difference, it is the can that would come out on top.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
why?bottles are chemically inert, cans (for all the fancy inside coatings) aren't.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:42, Reply)
I'd defy you to taste the difference with both served in a glass.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
I can and haveStella (yuck) is a prime example.
Also, neither cans or bottles are a patch on draught.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:52, Reply)
Ah yes, you also have some weird opinions on the 'chemicals' in Stella, don't you?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:55,
Reply)
If you say soThat's the stuff brewed near London though, the real thing from Belgium is much much nicer (similar to how Budvar is to Budweiser).
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 11:06, Reply)
^ This.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
is it to do with the serving temperature?Cans get colder than bottles.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:27, Reply)
Both are effective for protecting beer from heat and air, bottles allow light in.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:29,
Reply)
Well yes, that is perhaps one of the reasons we think we prefer beer from a bottle.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:31,
Reply)
Yer - that and the taste from bottles is better.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:35,
Reply)
nobody would have mocked poor old AA if he'd treated himself to payday bottles.(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)
Hahahaha(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:38,
Reply)
Brown bottles protect against light damage.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
Not as effectively as a can.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:35,
Reply)
True.But the stuff from cans is shit.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:36,
Reply)
5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post2435154
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:36,
Reply)
Tainted it, it was a bit dead, bland ... just not even a patch on the bottled stuff.Sirrius - we approached with open minds ready to be impressed, but it was pretty grim.
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
How did the can taint it?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
Cans and bottles get equally cold or warmbut cans will cool or warm faster due to being thinner and metal.
Beer is best served in glass either way, cans warm up quicker than glasses.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:39, Reply)
i haven't been to byron burgers but there's one round the corner i might go to sometime for my supperthose yankee beers that come in nommy little cans the same size as a coke can are bent as fuck
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:18,
Reply)
Byron's are good - they're a chain, but it's waited service and ting.And they ask you how you want your burger done and everything, and think it's really funny when the funny guy in the office says "Cooked!" (had my office party there last week, and the new guy said that - I quite felt for the waitrress)
(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
It's basically a posh McDonald's for grown-ups that want to pretend they're not having a posh McDonald's.(
Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
Alright? I'm going to let you, dear b3ta, decide my fate - as this always goes down well and I can ignore your advice anyway.I got a job offer yesterday, and i'm like 95% going to go for it, but want to hear an offer from another company first.
Pros/cons
- it's a 15 minute bus ride away, 20 minutes door to door... even if I drove, i'd take the same root as the bus does, it's completely direct.
- It's the very bottom of what i'd take, but still what i'd take, but then with bonuses it pushes it up to what i'd really like.
- eventaully get to build my own team. I'm 31 now, so I guess I can do that
- I get as many toys, gizmos 'n' gadgets as I want. I showed him some of the stuff I did with my toys and he loved it.
- Work from home whenever the heck i want.
- Really tough boss, he won't take no shit, I can only bullshit him past deadlines soo far. I wouldn't want to cross him, but he seems safe 'nuff aslong as I don't.
- The secutary is really fit.
- Attitudes all aligned up.
- Dental industry so will probably have to see really gross rank teeth.
- Potter's Bar isn't really a buzzy area, but there's enough resturants'n'stuff that I can have a mooch on a lunchbreak.
Main thing i'm not so sure about is how strict the boss is.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:19,
Reply)
Yeah go for itAnd ask the secutary out and all
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
Over time the boss might change, though.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
I meant you might get a different one, but yeah, the same one's attitude might soften too.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:22,
Reply)
Also, there don't seem to be many cons in that list, kind of think you've already decided.(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
I think you're right, the boss won't change, he's quite young, about 26, but is proper good at buisness, owns about 100 dental practices.He's very much what i'd imagine what it would be like working for Steve Jobs, in the respect that it would be tough, but if i'm up to it, can be really really rewarding.
He also doesn't want me to take on any private work during my home time, which I don't mind really when I said things like "Sometimes I'll come up with proof-of-concepts that can be applied - at lets me learn new tech without it effecting the buisness", which he said in that case was OK.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:29,
Reply)
very few permanent employers would be happy with you both working from home and doing other work(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:49, Reply)
Oh, there's no way I'd do private work when I'm on the clock, never have done that.But things like Kewie over the weekend.
TBH, I don't think i've ever taken on any paid work while in regular employment, 'cept maybe the occasional one-day jobbie.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 11:02,
Reply)
Will they be OK for your medical woes?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:21,
Reply)
Yup, they don't mind them at all, with all the jobs that's a pre-req, but as they're medical (dental), they were more sympathetic than others.So that was another big bonus.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
Go for itYou can always get another job if it doesn't work out
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
Yup, the only thing is that there is another one in the running based in Shorditch which I really like too.And I don't want to piss off that recruiter because he's been so good to me. I feel like I'm cheating on him.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:30,
Reply)
The other one is "£?3pa", and this one is £?0pa + £05 bonus" Never had bonsues before, do you pay tax on them? Do you get like a huge lump sum in december? I forgot to ask him what holiday entitlement I'm allowed, but presume both of them are the minimal amount.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:34,
Reply)
bonuses are fully liable to tax and NICMay not be pensionable though, depends on how your scheme is set up.
Bonuses are discretionary; salary isn't. It might sound attractive to have 'plus £5k bonus', but it's better for you to have that 5k as salary.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:38, Reply)
Cool, I thought it worked like that. Do they normally prop up at the end of the year? Seems like a big lump to get in one go. Saying that, even without the bonus, it's still a wage i'd be happy with, for starters my travel fair goes down from whatever-is-a-day-pass* to about £3.
* I donno, I just swipe my oyster (oh-errr misses)
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
depends on what accounting period your employer usesThey may also do bonuses monthly, or quarterly or whatever.
What's the pension? 3 plus 3?
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:49, Reply)
it makes me sad to think of little pauly thinking about pensionshe should still be playing with toys and worrying about what kind of waffles he'll have for supper and ... oh
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:51, Reply)
I'm not sure about that, I don't think it's been worked out. Probably whatever is standard for the industry.I have a pension from my last job because they made me take one with that new government record. Don't want to get into my personal finances any futher, but a pension is really not much of a concern for me.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:57,
Reply)
dude, it's pretty importantWhat are you planning to live on when you retire?
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 11:03, Reply)
Pretty much this, plus, a combination of "I'm not really made for old bones.".I've still got some Standard Life thing that my previous job forced me to take, that i'll continue on with.... but in general it's not an issue.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 11:16,
Reply)
I wouldn't worry about that. You could probably pin a recruiter down and shit in their mouth and they'd still be willing to place you for their commission a couple of months later.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:35,
Reply)
Cool, and I guess they all know that none of them have exclusivity, I was open that there was other options.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:38,
Reply)
If anything he should be blaming himself(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:39,
Reply)
One of the funny things is that i've had two other recruiters try and poach me the same job.that industry is tough.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:46,
Reply)
It's only tough because recruiters are all fucking idiots.#worksforthebiggestrecruiteraround
(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:49,
Reply)
Seven and three quarter years I've been supporting recruitment consultants.Abject misery.
(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:53,
Reply)
Turn it down and do some freelancing and restructuring work.(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:23,
Reply)
If I had my way, sending smiley's in work correspondence, either through email or instant messaging, would result in instant dismissal.(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:24,
Reply)
How about kisses after your name?Only to customers and suppliers, obv.
(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:25,
Reply)
This is essential if they sound hot on the phone.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:40,
Reply)
Unfortunately true, which is why you must keep all flirting to phone and email and never meet them.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:42,
Reply)
Nah, it's because you are a prick(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:45,
Reply)
Agreed. I'd add people that put 'KR' insteand of 'Kind regards'Regards, kind or otherwise, aint worth shit if you can't be bothered to type out the full word.
(
Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:26,
Reply)
tggi.'gentle reminder' can fuck right off as well.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:30,
Reply)
If it's internal then it's quite acceptable to commence with 'chaps' or 'gents'If it's to someone external, then signing off with 'laterz m8' is more than acceptable.
(, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:33, Reply)
I tend to use 'cheers'.Unless I think the recipient is a prick. Then I use 'regards'.
I also instantly dislike anyone who uses read receipts and refuse to send them on principle.
(
Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:36,
Reply)
I sign off my emails with my name, that's it.Fucking false politeness can get fucked. I hate all of these cunts and I don't care if they think I'm rude.
(
Kroney, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:37,
Reply)
This^It always confuses me when I get a "J" in the middle of an email
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 18 Dec 2014, 10:27,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »