Netsend in DOS can be fun
I managed to get the Z number off the front of my manager's computer a while ago, and decided to have a laugh with him. I waited until he was settled down into using his PC, then I struck.

Now if you've never used netsend, you basically get a pop-up box appear in the centre of the screen with an OK button, along with a message of your choice.

Unfortunately my message was;

"Pornographic material has been located on your computer. A callcentre manager will be with you shortly."

He was a bag of nerves all day :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 5 May 2005, 9:28, Reply)

Bearded madness
My dad was being a bit of a twat,so,me and my lady friend took to blowing holes in his golf shoes with my air rifle,then we stumbled upon his beard trimmer so we gave each other a little haircut around our genitalia and placed it back in the bathroom.
Oh how we laughed when he came down later that day with a frshley trimmed beard
(markoyotojakamoto, Thu 5 May 2005, 9:27, Reply)

We got shafted on a boat lottery
at a student World Championships. Everyone else in the competition was given brand spanking new boats to sail, and we got a 7-year old shitbox that broke down constantly.

So when the event was over, and we were all as bitter as bejaysis, we undid most of the bolts on the lifelines to the very last thread and hid as much humming French brie below decks as we possibly could. Whoever sailed that pig next got a stinky contraption, and would have ended up in the piss when they tried to sit out.
(Coomy, Thu 5 May 2005, 9:08, Reply)

The 'Water Board' scam
Ten years ago I lived in university halls (Morel Hall - Oxford Brookes). The 'halls' were actually blocks of six or ten flats built in a not-unattractive ski chalet style, set in several acres of equally not-unattractive parkland.

We pulled quite a few stunts (of course, groan) but one of the best was the night my friend and I rang the block of some of the overseas students, claiming to be from the Local Water Board. My friend, who had a deeper and more authoritative voice than mine, casually informed them that their water would be turned off early the next morning and that they would have to fill their bath and large saucepans for their next day's water needs.

So off we ran, spliffs ready rolled, to sit outside their patio doors and watch them fruitlessly filling anything they could lay their hands on with ice cold water. Amazingly they never twigged that the call had been made on the internal phone system. It provided us with half an hour's hazy amusement anyway.
( The Legendary Pink Dot isn't impressed by this whole "internet" thing, Thu 5 May 2005, 9:02, Reply)

childish and invisible
I work for a call center which only calls existing donors (in other words, no cold-calling). Most people are nice and if they don't want to hear from us will just say so (the fact that we are allowed to say "Would you like me to take you off the call list?" helps too).

The other day, though, I was calling at about 7.30pm and got some high-handed prick who snapped "You are calling us in the middle of our dinner" as if it's my fault that my work hours are at dinner time, and when I started to say "I'll take you off the call list, sir", hung up in my ear.

I opened his file, switched his phone number to SILENT, and in the compulsory comments field, wrote WANKER.

I don't think anyone will ever see it, but I do enjoy speculating on what the next operative will think if he ever calls us to change his phone details.
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Thu 5 May 2005, 8:51, Reply)

School, work and uni. Nothing changes
School, usual fire alarms etc, dropping people in it. the best one was the old Design and Technology machinery, leaving a key in a lathe so at 3000rpm the key would fly out and smash into the safty screen, totaling it,harmless but expensive.Re-adjusting the milling machine up by .1 mm which would put everyones work out by .1mm and also be impossible to realign without and engineer(needed 3 of us to lift it and he had a cray little jip specially for it)

Work, in a garden centre we used to cut little holes in the compost so it trailed all the way up to the tills.
Where the till bitches would have to clean all the floors and when we were aske about it, 'those damn little kids etc'.


Uni, ether explosions and general ether highs etc, nothing heavy.
In halls we had these crappy celings with foam tiles that slid out, so the usual milk, fish and condoms.
AND FINALLY stealling my flatmates milk, cos he ate all my mushrooms, and then making up to the mark with mould from a potatoe and laxtives.

its long but hey i'm a dick

ED: mushrooms = the magic variety
(Bored, Thu 5 May 2005, 8:21, Reply)

computer blackout
A mate of mine used to like turning the computer screen colours to all black on PC's when their owners had gone to lunch and they didn't lock their machine.

He would turn font, foreground, background, everything to black and then wait for them to come back from lunch and watch them hitting the keyboard and monitor switch on and off trying to get the computer to come back to life......he he ..much giggling like girls.
(blok3, Thu 5 May 2005, 8:19, Reply)

Computers can be evil
1. Find | Files or folders named *.exe
2. Ctrl/A (Select all)
3. Enter

Bonus points if you can get someone to do this while you are coaching them over the phone. Tech support my arse.
(chazz, Thu 5 May 2005, 6:55, Reply)

stuckkkk
I had a really tight mate, whenever he opened his wallet, the picture of the queen on his money would blink. Well, I decided this tight little bastard needed a lesson. Now this took a little planning and subterfuge, but in an unguarded moment, he lift his wallet alone, and me, already prepared for this moment, opened it, and, carefuly superglued all his folding stuff to his wallet and all his coins together. All in all it was about $50 worth of gear.


Well, he didn't open his wallet for weeks, seeming as he is a giant sponge and I was getting impatient. Until finally, on a trip to the moving pictures, his g/f showed up, and being the gent that he wasn't he offered to pay for her.

Well, his wallet opened just fine, but for the life of him, he couldn't pry the notes from the leather of the wallet. I was almost dying of laughter - then he opened the change bit of his wallet and THUNK stuck together coins fell out in one heap onto the desk thing of the ticket seller dude.

Everyone saw the funny side except for my tightwad mate.
(i enjoy licking 9V batteries, Thu 5 May 2005, 6:23, Reply)

Fiddling with computer settings on Luddites; PCs


Had a few of these.

Main one was swapping the right- and -left hand buttons on the mouse.

Another was to take an alt-print screen of say, someone's Outlook screen. Paste it into Paint, save it as a jpeg, then set the image as their desktop.

Funny to see them clicking away, and trying to minimise the "window"...

No doubt there are much more sophisticated tricks now, but we derived much enjoyment ath the time...
( Strangey is present at, Thu 5 May 2005, 6:01, Reply)

Nobody got it...
Little brother and I, sitting in his room. I was about 15. Mum walks in, I point at him and say, completely out of the blue, "You broke it!"

She looks at both of us, and says "Broke what?"
"Nothing!" he says.
She asks again. "What did you break?"
He keeps denying, she thinks he's lying, and I'm on the floor behind the couch passing out laughing. A few minutes later I can breathe again, and they're still yelling at each other.
I try and tell her that he didn't break anything, and she turns on me like I'm covering for him.
He's still confused, trying to figure out what he broke.

Good times. They both fly into a rage if I accuse either of them of breaking something now.
(jimkopelli, Thu 5 May 2005, 5:09, Reply)

Not me
but my gran used to fart in front of people at the checkout in supermarkets as she was leaving, for no reason other than she thought it was funny. Not really sabotage, but I've been told they were silent but violent.
I got fed up with my housemate nicking all my food at uni, so swapped the labels round on all my cans. Problem is I now can't remember what is in the tins, so its like the lottery. Its a bugger when you open fruit when all you wanted was soup.
(Lizzilla, Thu 5 May 2005, 3:40, Reply)

stray hairs
my (now ex)boyfriend's mom forbade him from seeing me or doing anything with any girls. when he's being a meany to me i casually put some hair of mine on his shirt, knowing that his mom does his laundry. he keeps getting grounded for some reason...
(celestie d'etoile, Thu 5 May 2005, 1:39, Reply)

I prefer to call it improvement, as opposed to sabotage
A friend of mine constantly uses a Vick's Inhaler to try and clear his sinuses. They contain a little piece of rolled up cotton wool soaked in a camphor and menthol solution which maybe works for about a minute.

I decided to do him a favour via the judicious enhancement of said decongestant properties of the blotter by soaking it in a solution of concentrated ammonia.

When I returned from the lab i swapped the inhalers over and waited. Approximately 4 mintues and an effeminate scream later, I was greeted with the pleasing image of him vomiting in the kitchen sink.

Apparently the sensation was akin to the one Kurt Cobain felt while clumsily cleaning his shotgun. Cleared his sinuses though.
(Rushy, Thu 5 May 2005, 1:30, Reply)

tampon sandwich
When my best friend and I were in high school her mother had a border, renting the spare bedroom. We were about 15. He was a French Canadian, middle-aged, horny, sawed off little shit with a lisp. He was always groping us and saying really rude things. My friend normally made his lunch so we gave him a surprise one day. We made him a tampon & ketchup sandwich. Not exactly heinous but it was funny.
(OGH, Thu 5 May 2005, 1:27, Reply)

I used to work in a barbershop when i was younger and....
..when suddenly i was relieved from my position of broom technician by the new management who was a camp, rampant poof who was vile in every possible way I decided upon revenge. When i went back the monday after the friday i was sacked i was armed with a gram of speed, the new boss was out of the shop and my mate stiggie who still works there let me into his office to "get my stuff". I went straight to the filter on his watercooler and poured every last bit of phett i had left in. To this day im gutted i didnt see it but he came in the store at about 11am and was rushed to hospital by 1:30. Apparently he was shaking like a leaf, pale as fuck and kept sitting down then standing up again with wild eyes. I still get my haircut there for free too.
(C0UN7:z3r0, Thu 5 May 2005, 0:42, Reply)

Explosive you say?
Cant take the credit for this but my chemistry Prof told me about a guy he used to work with at a fairly reputable university in London who got fired.

Whilst clearing his desk, Fired Prof fills several flasks with toluene, nitric acid and sulphuric acid then leaves the building with them all merrily boiling away.

The above reaction, (had it not been discovered by some lab geek) would have produced enough TNT to take out the entire building.
(Rushy, Thu 5 May 2005, 0:27, Reply)

Clampers - I've got your number.
A few years back one of our cars got clamped. I wrote down the mobile numbers on the signs and searched yellow pages for their office numbers. I then entered all the numbers into the office auto-dailer software to call each number every 30-seconds.

For 14 days.

Must have driven them fucking crazy.
( Linbox has a serious dunk habit, Thu 5 May 2005, 0:14, Reply)

When I was in secondary school
I was asked to type out the program for our school's easter service.
There was a girl in my year that I really hated because she was always falsly nice to everyone she met and no one could see how evil she really was.
So how did I sobotage her?
I spelled her name Barbara in the program when she really spells it Bairbre.
The pettiest thing I've ever done in my life.
(evil_beetle, Thu 5 May 2005, 0:00, Reply)

Re: Petty Sabotage
Listen all ya'aal its a SABOTAGE!

Few of us blocked up a sink on a school trip to france, pissed in the sink and got our teacher to fish in the sink to try and unblock it.
(carlspick profile? Dunne, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:49, Reply)

Not the most imaginitive...
..but it's a classic for a reason - first year at Uni, very early one morning after a fair amount of giggly booze, went around all of the communal kitchens and did the old 'fill glass with water, cover and place on worktop upside down, then remove cover' trick to every single glass and mug we could find, probably about 70. Then wrote 'Satan is your master' on the wall using wet pasta so it dried solid and took he paint off when it was removed. My education was not wasted, I like to think.
(mcnelson, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:45, Reply)

At school
I broke the clip off the end of my pen, and discovered it worked rather well as a screwdriver (of course I could have brought a screwdriver in to school, but I never would have thought of that).
Anyway, one lunchtime i unscrewed the door handle of the library and dismantled it. With the through-bar removed, I don't know how they managed to open the door again. Needless to say I didn't hang around to find out.
(moik, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:40, Reply)

well,
once, i managed to get hold of a can of shaving foam and had access to a large canister of liquid nitrogen. put the can of shaving foam in the nitrogen, pull it out with tongs, and use a pair of pliers to remove the metal. et voila! you have some shaving foam without the can. pretty boring, you may think...


go put it in someone's car glovebox. wait for it to thaw.
i really fucking hated that teacher, with his poncey jag.





heh.
( nowhere.elysium Exploder of cats, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:40, Reply)

It was my flatmate's birthday
and another flatmate decided to empty two packs of water-soluble laxatives into his pint. It didn't quite have the desired effect, he didn't shit himself but he did get very ill for the next couple of days.

The worst part was that Birthday Boy actually noticed the laxatives being poured copiuosly into his pint. He figured his drink was just being spiked with something a bit more exotic.
(hnnrs, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:38, Reply)

Spectrum mischief
I got barred from my local Laskeys when I was a nipper, so this program appeared on their demo spectrums :

10 Print 2,0;"Program : Bruce Lee"
20 Pause 30
30 Randomise USR 1302

Turn up the volume, hit run and leg it.
This works on emulators too, 1302 does the exact yellow and blue loading thing, even with real ZX sounds, but it never ends...

Christ, I'm sad.
( bowdie, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:34, Reply)

Want to see a magic trick?
I offer people who are irritating me in the pub to show them a magic trick, using two full pint glasses (all the better if it is their beer).
You ask them to put their hands flat on the table, then rest the pint glasses on the back of their hands. If anyone is around you tell them not to help them out, if no one is you can just get up and walk away...
(greenycrimson I stole the from pyschotherapist, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:20, Reply)

Autocorrect
When on a public computer, i can never resist going into word's autocorrect and setting new ones for common words, not too many so they may not be noticed. Good ones to replace are days of the week ( Mixes up peoples appointments and allsorts ). Also funny to do is replace "the" with "all three of the" or such like, use your imagination!
(CookedGryphon, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:07, Reply)

Cables
I once tried to strip the casing off of the printer cable on my music teachers computer but ended up cutting right through it. After that I decided to cut the power cable on a TV in the school, free some of the mouses in the IT room and snip a few networking cables and render the computers useless. They then made an announcement in an assembly that if they found the person doing this they'd be fined. I cut a few more then stopped.
(newcustomerserviceteam, Wed 4 May 2005, 23:03, Reply)

Flatmate told me this one.
Some people were out on a hunt. Animals, live guns, the works. One of the huntsmen was making roll-up ciggies. He had just finished one when he left the room for a piss.

Someone else unwrapped his ciggie and put gunpowder in it. I never did find out what happened to the poor bastard.
( Iki I think my camel is dead., Wed 4 May 2005, 23:02, Reply)