Guess who the favourite is?
My girfriend's mum called the other day to say she coudln't afford to buy her a present this year for xmas. This was followed the next day by a phone call from her to let her know that she was going to come visit us at our flat but she was weighed down by her brother's Xbox360.

Some background info on my girlfriends little brother who we will name "Fishy" (his chav title, so earned because he used to pee himself in class and would therefore smell a bit fishy):

Regularly assaults his teachers, the most recent invovling throwing a math book at a 45 year old womans face and spiting on her when she fell down.

When he tried to punch my girlfriend in the face i stepped in only just managing to hold my temper, this results in regular threats of stabbings from him and his "gang"

Along with his friend dragging a 9 year old deaf boy out of his front garden with promises to set him on fire "for being deaf!"

Breaking into a special needs school and stealing a laptop.

Beating up his mother in a train station for her refusing to give him money.

Brought home by the police 9 times in the past year for drinking, assault and drug taking/selling.

Stealing over £100 from his lung cancer ridden gran and screaming in her face when confronted resuling in her having a panic attack.

Shrugging his way through his grans funeral and repeatedly asking if he could leave.

Can manipulate social workers like a a fat kid controls biscuits and has been given 3 "Absolute last chances to behave before he gets taken away!" in the past six months.


Now for some background info on my girlfriend:

When finding out her Gran was unwell she moved in with her and essentially became her main carer (her Aunts helped out when they could) as well as holding down a part time job and a uni course (both of which she had to give up eventaully)

Her mother forced her dad to move back to america (despite him being a really awseome bloke who is buying me nunchuks for xmas!) and regularly told her it was because she was a bad daughter and it was her fault, this went on for almost a decade until she finally got up the courage to ask him about it outright and he cried to her down the phone upset that this was what she believed, for a man who spent 15 years in the navy and fought in the Gulf this was quite bizarre to hear.

Had her mail stolen and bank details taken by her mother resulting in over £350 "going missing"


So any ideas who deserves a xmas present from their mother this year?


I should point out that I'm trying to make this xmas extra special for her, its her first one without her gran as well as being the first in our flat but bar the whole decorations and having some friends and family down (NOT her mother and "Fishy" though, we don't want him knowing where we live) i'm getting a bit stumped, any ideas?
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 21:19, 21 replies)

Hmmm.......
Kill the brother, skin him, make a chair out of his bones and a little cushion out of the left-over epidermis? Then present it to GF on Christmas Day?

Or a diamond bracelet or something. Girls like those.
(El Fandango carved a big EF onto his nemesis' doublet on .., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 21:26, closed)

But
Then his fishy smell will be in our lovely flat, i do like your thinking though.
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 21:28, closed)

Get a kit to make something
That you can start your own, just the two of you tradition for years to come. Like making a wreath, or mince pies from scratch.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 21:32, closed)

Just suggested it to her
Think its gonna be some decorations due to us despising cinnamonn aka the dreaded christmas spice
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 22:13, closed)

Nothing screams "I am cheap"
like home made presents.

Stick your artistic shit up your arse and spend a little less on dope and buy them a lottery ticket next year.

Thats a bit cutting isn't it.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 6:05, closed)

Sorry if i seem confused by your answer
But are you implying that we spend all our money on drugs?
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 9:24, closed)

what a hateful little prick
...the best present you could give your girlfriend is just to keep her shitty mother and sibling as far away from her as possible over the hols. That way hopefully Mum will get to feel for herself the full results of her 'parenting' strategy.
(jennymnemonic, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 22:01, closed)

If I had my way
Id keep them away for a lot longer.
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 22:11, closed)

try and organise for her and her dad to meet up again
maybe split the cost of the flight between you and her dad?
( weaver., Wed 2 Dec 2009, 22:04, closed)

I had thought about this
But he's going throuh a messy divorce just now and cant even afford a proper place to stay.
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Wed 2 Dec 2009, 22:09, closed)

you could
get him to send some pictures and you could make some sort of thing with them for her..
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 3:54, closed)

You know
flights to the US can be got for around 250-300 quid if you shop right.

Open a PayPal flight fund - I'll put the first tenner in!

Sounds like she and he deserve it.

I know I too would be crying my eyes out if my daughter(s) thought that the reason I left was because of them. I'm chocked up hearing about it as I type (seriously).
(dchurch bah, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 13:32, closed)

How about
A photo collection of her nan, ask the fam if they have any pics and possible stories to go with them.

Just a thought.

StyX
(StyX is staring at you, yes YOU!!!, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 0:30, closed)

Fun but evil
Take the suggestion of making something - like some brownies - with a twist, several boxes of exlax mixed in - all for her nasty brother...

Or a highpowered rifle with scope...

Something romantic that lets her know she is important to you - maybe write some poems. I've given my g/f a book of poems for Christmas for the last 3 years (and her birthday - one poem for each year), special and from you - cant get that in stores..

and as others have said - jewelry is always good... cater to her likes..
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 3:53, closed)

There is no question
You must take out a hit on the little shit. Or, if money is tight during this festive season do it yourself. Mummsie will have 3 weeks of grieving to do at which stage any nice gesture you make will be appreciated. A nice manicure perhaps.
Also you will be doing the whole country and his future victims a big favour. Nice work fella!
(schrodingers cat now you see me, or not, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 6:56, closed)

Nah, murder her mother
And frame the little shit for it. Win-Win.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 8:20, closed)

He'd probably get off
with a slapped wrist and a stern warning...
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Thu 3 Dec 2009, 9:19, closed)

Dont forget
That he will be taken for a happy meal.

This is actually what the social worker did after the deaf kid incident.
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 9:26, closed)

Jeez....
*I* want to buy her something nice, now.
(greatoldone Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl f'tagn, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 8:42, closed)

Home-made tokens
For a foot rub, massage, pampering for the day, etc.

She can call them in whenever she wants or feels the need, knowing you're there for her.

That way you get to treat her yourself, and you know where a nice relaxing massage will end up too... :-)
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 9:19, closed)

Thanks for all the suggestions people
All great ideas and just wanted to thank you all for replying, i showed her this last night and she was amazed at how many people had replied already and it put a big smile on her face. Well done people.
(rocknroll_pirate had a dream involving holly willoughby and custard, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 9:32, closed)