once I dun a wank.
but i won't describe my vagina to you.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 23 May 2012, 20:34, 56 replies)

A woman!
On the internet!

What a time to be alive...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 23 May 2012, 20:36, closed)

Cool story bro

(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 23 May 2012, 20:41, closed)

fuck off dullard.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 23 May 2012, 20:43, closed)

No need. We all know what a torn out fireplace looks like
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 23 May 2012, 20:59, closed)

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 23 May 2012, 21:00, closed)

do not invoke the old ones!!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 23 May 2012, 21:05, closed)

and we thank you for that. Some things are best left unimagined.

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 23 May 2012, 22:44, closed)

wow, I bet you are ever so pretty.
I;m totally imagining your vagina right now.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 23 May 2012, 22:53, closed)

like a bulldog eating custard?

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 23 May 2012, 22:57, closed)

Now I'm in trouble for
waking the kid!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 23 May 2012, 22:59, closed)

How about the vuvla?
Palms at the ready.
( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Wed 23 May 2012, 23:08, closed)

I reckon it looks like a cunt
smells like a cunt
but sounds like gentle waves breaking on a sandy beach.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Thu 24 May 2012, 0:11, closed)

I imagine it looks and smells like John Mccririck.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 May 2012, 0:25, closed)

Hippo's yawn?

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 24 May 2012, 0:42, closed)

does it bite?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 24 May 2012, 0:55, closed)

Is it like a pound of half-cooked Tesco Value beef mince that's been left open to the air for a couple of days before being stuffed into a very stale pitta wrap?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 24 May 2012, 1:02, closed)

Does it look like the Predator's face at the end of the film when it takes its mask off and vomits green bile over itself?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Thu 24 May 2012, 1:52, closed)

Fuckin' hell she deleted it!
I was enjoying that.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 24 May 2012, 2:00, closed)

whoa, deletion.
bad form.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 24 May 2012, 2:32, closed)

I know.
It's not like people of our calibre would ever stoop so low, eh?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 24 May 2012, 2:44, closed)

Unless you post drunken crap...
...as per a couple of days ago.
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 3:53, closed)

Well... go on.
How'd it go?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 24 May 2012, 4:01, closed)

Completely mis-read the situation..
..the topic was arse bleaching, something I'd never heard of, so as I didn't believe it existed, my mate's girlfriend briefly pulled up her skirt and pulled down her undies to reveal a bumcrack devoid of nature's natural dark hue. I thought it was an invite. It wasn't. I blame VB.
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 4:07, closed)

wait, were you actually nudging at her bumhole when you realised you'd read the situation all wrong?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 24 May 2012, 7:36, closed)

Not quite..
..frozen with shock and suprise would be more apt, with a can of beer halfway to my lips. I guess when you bleach your bum (why?)there's only a select few that you can show it off to. We all regretted the impromptu display the next morning and were a bit quiet (and hungover). Even though we've know each other for years, some things are best kept as secrets. And some over-excited posts are best deleted, as is the beer-fuelled intent to inspect your mate's girlfriend's lily white bum.
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:01, closed)

but what about your lubricated rubbery cabana?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:06, closed)

oh...yeah....
..Jesus, that's right. We were bbq'ing some cabana, rather firm and dick-like sausages. Lots of lewd humour regarding insertion of cabana into bums. One of those moments when you had to be there as opposed to deciphering a pissed account of events.
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:59, closed)

What's with the 28 and counting?
..being a sometimes poster...is that some in-joke?
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:04, closed)

it's how many people have me on ignore.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:07, closed)

seems a bit harsh

( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 9:00, closed)

Again.
How the fuck do I find out how many people have me on ignore?

It's important to me you know!
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 24 May 2012, 9:38, closed)

Maybe
the likes of you and I are not being ignored?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 24 May 2012, 11:02, closed)

Maybe Janet can't see
ringys post.
(username failed moderation, Thu 24 May 2012, 12:19, closed)

of course i can. i don't have ANYONE on ignore.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 24 May 2012, 12:37, closed)

It's normally announced.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Thu 24 May 2012, 12:20, closed)

Despite my recent stepping, only 4 people have me on ignore.
Which means I did not deserve to be stepped as I obviously didn't piss enough people off.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 24 May 2012, 9:43, closed)

And don't worry..
..I'm still cringing after posting that crap. Certainly got a few deserved flamings.

Don't drink and post.
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:06, closed)

I'm not going to describe my penis either.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 24 May 2012, 8:42, closed)

well thank fuck for that.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 24 May 2012, 9:00, closed)

Well...a girl needs to have some secrets, eh?
(inserts emoticon to emphasise carefree attitude)
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 9:04, closed)

Butchers dustbin

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 24 May 2012, 9:14, closed)

Fishmongers more like.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 24 May 2012, 9:19, closed)

Dropped pie with sauce
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 24 May 2012, 9:27, closed)

A burnt thong.
(Probably won't make sense unless you're Aussie)
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 24 May 2012, 9:39, closed)

or..other Australian-ism's like...
Front Bum.
Where the chainsaw bit ya.
Flange.
Axe wound.
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 10:07, closed)

gutted hedgehog
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 24 May 2012, 10:10, closed)

Furry muff, that'll do fellas!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 24 May 2012, 10:24, closed)

Billposter's
bucket.

Wizards sleeve.
(username failed moderation, Thu 24 May 2012, 10:50, closed)

stomped mussel
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 24 May 2012, 11:01, closed)

Unless mussels are much bigger in Oz,
this one is in danger of setting off the alarm.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 24 May 2012, 11:05, closed)

Oh.
They're bigger.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 24 May 2012, 11:35, closed)

He was
6 foot 4, and full of mussels.

Now it makes sense.
(username failed moderation, Thu 24 May 2012, 11:43, closed)

I just chundered

( Ungersven would support SpankyHanky's patreon, Thu 24 May 2012, 11:45, closed)

There is a shellfish in Australia called an Abalone.
Looks like an over sized flattened mussel, referred to as "rock cunts" in some circles. Google it, and you will see why.
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 12:20, closed)

see, nobody believes me about mussels looking like fannies.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 24 May 2012, 12:38, closed)

I believe you.
That's why I like to eat them.
( Ken Oath, Thu 24 May 2012, 12:56, closed)