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This is a question The B3TA Detective Agency

Universalpsykopath tugs our coat and says: Tell us about your feats of deduction and the little mysteries you've solved. Alternatively, tell us about the simple, everyday things that mystified you for far too long.

(, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 12:52)
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Why is the sky blue?
How do fish breathe?

What makes rainbows?

For fucks sake, there are childrens books for these things. My niece has a great one, it's actually called 'Why is the sky blue?', some of you should read it.

What about things you have solved? You see that 'mystify' in the question ends with 'ied'? Past tense.

It's not 'I'm a fucking moron and I don't understand sheep'

I've solved the problem of why I have such a love hate relationship with QOTW, it's because 90% of you are fuckwits.

Although that applies to the human race in general I suppose, so the remaining mystery is why the fuck I am continually surprised by this.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:10, 29 replies)
& you reckon you're
the 10%?
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:13, closed)
Most certainly.
you're not.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:14, closed)
Me,
I'm the 110%er
XD
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:26, closed)
What I find more mysterious is you types who hate QOTW
but come here anyway, and continually slag it off.

You act like jilted, beaten lovers, whose self-esteem is so low, you just can't make the final cut and escape.

It's all just a little bit pathetic, and, as a consequence,mildly arousing.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:20, closed)
That's fair enough
The thing is, I really don't hate it, there are some great stories told and laughs to be had.

I just get frustrated by all the shit and repetition and irrelevance of a high proprtion of the responses.

I just want it to be as good as it can be, To reverse your analogy, I hit it because I love it. Like a poor, innocent wife beater.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:23, closed)
Mate, I love you
you guyzsh are are the besht, I fukin' luv youooooooo.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:29, closed)
You're not even very good at being Rory are you?

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:32, closed)
No.
But I'm pretty fucking good @ being me.
Wouldn't you say?
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 10:03, closed)
I LIKE BREASTS.....

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:26, closed)
You little 10%er you.

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:26, closed)
AND MINGE

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:33, closed)
You've been a member for over 5 years,
and you're just now realising that qotw is basically a repository for the internet's fuckwittery?

I think I know who the real fuckwit is.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:38, closed)
yes, indeed, guilty as charged.

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 9:43, closed)
I thought that
self awareness was beyond you Monster
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:57, closed)
I'm not a fuckwit!
I'm a tedious cunt.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 12:15, closed)
You're not tedious
well, you are, but I think it's worth emphasizing the cunt bit.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:51, closed)
Edited,
just for you.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 14:49, closed)
After last week's question, I think we're looking more at 95-99%

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 10:09, closed)
It all stems from a desperate wish to participate.
I secretly suspect that most people posting answers to a different question entirely have, in fact, read and understood the question, but have nothing to contribute in response. In an effort to join the party, they post a tangential answer that addresses at least one of the keywords in the real question but ends up coming across as a total misread, thus making them look like thickos. Of course, some respondents genuinely are thickos, and are easy to spot as such.

QOTW is basically a way of honing one's skills as a raconteur. Some people are naturally good at it, and end up on the top page every week. Some people clearly have a story to tell, fighting to get out of what on the face of it is an insipid answer. Some people are just bored and will say any old thing in an attempt to get noticed.

If QOTW were a party, the raconteurs would be sitting in a leather armchair with a cigar and a glass of cognac, surrounded by a bevy of babes/studs (delete as appropriate) hanging on their every word. The 'fuckwits' would be wearing a comedy wig whilst leaning over an attractive guest, effectively pinning them to the wall, and shouting over the music about premium bonds or graphics accelerators.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 10:19, closed)
Raises Cognac and toasts the post while blowing smoke rings.

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 10:22, closed)
Hides in kitchen bitching about everyone else.
I
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 10:27, closed)
*shags your girlfriends while you both do so*

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 10:37, closed)
Eats a croissant
& sips some chardonnay.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 10:39, closed)
I like this

(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 12:38, closed)
You have finally turned Evil Scarpe.



(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:33, closed)
Hahahaha.
I haven't, I promise.

I may have been a bit OTT I admit, I probably shouldn't post whiel still in shitty morning mood, but...well...people could at least try a little harder.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 11:52, closed)
Fucking magnets
How do they work?
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:32, closed)
You need one taped in a fixed position to the end of your cock
and one in some kind of device so it rotates that you shove inside your partner of choice.

The rotating magnet will alternatively attract then repel then attract then repel the fixed magnet.

Thus automating the art of fucking through the genius of science.
(, Fri 14 Oct 2011, 13:34, closed)
You could even magnetise your partner's fillings so it would work for blow jobs too.

(, Mon 17 Oct 2011, 12:28, closed)

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