FUCK
lesson to every bloke

DO NOT put washing up liquid in the washing up machine...

I now have to mop up all the bubbles in the kitchen where it´s flooding. Anyone else ever done something similar? I thought it would help with some tough stains :(*

*a girl perioded on me the other week and the stains won´t budge
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)

No, you spastic.

( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:57, archived)

I was told by an old woman that a bit helps :(
i´m not a spastic....
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

Really?
Because that sounds like the sort of thing a spastic would do.

"LOOK MUMMY, I ARE HELPING!"
( JessAction Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)

Spastic is too nice for you.
You're an ultramegamong.
( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

;/

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

There really arent any bloody sheets are there?
This is just a "LOOK AT ME, I DONE TOUCHED A GIRL LOLZ!!" type post isnt it.
( Dobsky, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

.. i´m nearly 28...

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

Give up
You're only making things worse.
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

Well, duh

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

This is a convoluted attempt to point out that you did sex with a girl.
I CALL LIES.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

it didnt last long

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

why were there dishes involved? i must be getting old

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

You mean you've never tried it with dishes?
YOU'RE SO SHIT AT SEX I BET YOU'RE A VIRGIN.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)

am not, i'm always getting my best china out and giving it to girls up there noo noos all over it
once i had my hand in a bra whilst drinking from a saucer, and that
( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

Just cos you can get a dinnerplate in sideways
and then slurp it out like a bemucoused frisbee, there's no need to boast
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

Ping pong balls are so last year.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

It's an Ashes summer. Cricket balls are where it's at this year.

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

sticky wickets!

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

*lofts a six out of the ground*
*removes helmet and raises bat to pavilion*
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

*readies self*

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

FUCKING BRACE THA SEN ETHEL!!
/Yorkshire foreplay
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:16, archived)

I bet he's12 too.
The 12-year-old virgin.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

i'm 15 actually, and claire philips said i can finger her next week, with my willy

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

12 AND A VIRGIN.
VIRGIN.

VIIIIIIIIR. GIIIIIIINNNNNNNN. GIIIIINNNNNNNNNNN. GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

what? the? fuck? are? you? banging? on? about?
i wish to leave my work and go home, bloody edf wankers
( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:58, archived)

i fucking hate EDF

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

so do i, 11 hours i've done now, still counting

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

We did a project for them a few years ago.
Long story short was that they forgot to register their cable easements over unregistered land, and then when the deadline was approaching where they would cease to take effect, they lodged the lot and demanded that it was all done at an impossible rate :(

Bad times.
( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:08, archived)

very sad times

( mongychops, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

They're cunts to deal with from an insurance point of view.
I've had blatant lies from them, telling me that they're in attendance, when I've got the farmer on the other line, standing near the field containing a live cable, electrocuted cows and no EDF workers to be seen for miles.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:11, archived)

I bet Mongy would have turned up.
BEEFY FUN TIEM.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

Haha best thread ever.

( The Gentleman Bastard waxing lyrical. ©, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

What the fuck?
Washing up machine? Dishwasher or washing machine?

And did you have real life sex with a menstruating woman? Really? And her menstrual blood stained you?

I don't believe you.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 20:59, archived)

blood came out half way through
at the time i didn´t care cos i was wasted

but in the morning when i was putting the duvet in a binbag... well i´ve never barfed so much in my life
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

So you put the duvet in the bin
But you're only just washing everything else now. What?
( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

b3ta.com/talk/6245469
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

He's full of shit. Utterly full of shit.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

Thought so

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

?

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

Blood came out halfway through enough to stain sheets? No it didn't.
It doesn't go from nothing to a tidal wave.

And you chucked away the duvet but are trying to save the sheets?
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

You mean you didn't pick her up whilst she was still impaled on your knob
and waddle to the bathroom so she deposit the salty bloody yoghurt in the shower tray rather than the bedlinen? I'm calling shenanigans, you fat fucking fraud.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

FOR FUCKS SAKE
IT WAS DOGGY STYLE AND IT WAS DARK

I ONLY NOTICED A SHADOW GROWING UP HER ARSE CHEEK AND IT TOOK A WHILE TO SINK IN

fucking cunt
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

Aww someone is getting angry

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

you mean you can't lift a girl up from the doggy position?
What feeble little weiner are you?
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

Nope. More lies.
I bet you did her without a condom as well, you tit.
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

Should you use a condom when having period sex?
Or are you talking about the pregnancy/STD bit?
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:23, archived)

Going upwards?
Unless my understanding of doggy style is considerably different to yours, the cervix is usually lower than the arsecheeks in this particular position.
( LimeyTreat Bitch. Lover. Child. Mother. Sinner. Saint., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:14, archived)

Ha, she shit herself.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)

Exactly.
It's not hard to get off sheets, and frankly if it happened a couple of weeks ago and he's only just washing them, then eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwww :(
( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

the stains will never budge
sew a patch over the affected area. buy a ferret to hide the smell
( spacefish bong!, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:00, archived)

Washing up liquid in the cistern, always a treat for the unsuspecting WC user :)

( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

+ a bottle of red food dye.

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

that's taking cruel to 'evil'
/mind you, years ago I did have to prevent some Uni mates from shaving off another mates eyebrows while he was passed out drunk.
I explained to them it's better to shave off just one. When he wakes up in the morning, he's left with an agonisng choice. Pencil the other one in, or shave the other one off himself.
They called me evil for suggesting that, but they did it anyway.
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Also, don't wash your car with washing up liquid
not only does it strip off all the waxes you've polished on, but the mild salt content acts as both an abrasive and corrisive to the paintwork. So don't fucking do it, you nonce.
( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:01, archived)

Also, check quantity of washing liquid to put in machine, even if the instructions are in forrin
/had a foamy kitchen a couple of months ago
( broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:02, archived)

:D
nice fellow guiri

we should meet for a beer in a couple weeks.
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

You heading over this way?
I´m gonna go to Gibraltar at some point, not sure when ´cos I need to borrow a car.
( broadsword now that's fresh, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

you don´t need a car
the coach systems are awesome

like 4 euros for me to go tarifa

so it´ll be like 6 to gibraltar... get off in la linea and walk across.

well worth the trip, gaz me i´ll give u my number if you´re ever in the area so we can go to an internet cafe and log onto /talk
(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:13, archived)

I'm going to bully you because I want to fit in and be cool.

( Bats, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:03, archived)

I'm going to side with you, as i seek acceptance and wish to be part of a gang

( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

I'm going to disagree with popular opinion just for the hell of it.
I don't have the faculties to form an opinion of my own, but I want attention and I'll be damned if I'll admit to actually being the office-bound dullard I am in real life.

/comment on a general trend, not a specific pop at you
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:10, archived)

Blood stains need soaking
in warm soapy water with a little ammonia in.

/learnin' from me gangster past

on a similar note eBay has sold me the ingredients to make this
( chuff monkey I AM him, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

COLD WATER.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:09, archived)

I've done this
and had no bubbles or mopping
maybe your washing machine is defective
( Captain Tripps is your taxloss lover from Liverpool, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:04, archived)

Maybe he's defective

( Pickle Fairy is clumsily dancing away this fear, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

won't budge?
have you tried using washing up liquid?
( Godzuki needs more sleep., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:05, archived)

Fairy!

( Captn Hood-Butter is not dead yet., Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:07, archived)

Don't dishwashers use stronger stuff anyway, like boiling caustic soda?
/ex-potwasher
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:06, archived)

And this, ladies and gentleman, is the differance between a Virgin with or without a sister.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:12, archived)

For fucks sake

( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:17, archived)

Yup.
Bubble bath in the jacuzzi. Waited ten seconds. Nothing. Load more and oh there we are.

Flooded the bog.
( Cleisthenes morning sickness is a bitch, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 21:44, archived)

haha :D

(El Guiri the only b3tan who is not fat, Mon 22 Jun 2009, 22:19, archived)