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How are you?
I've got a weekend on the Devon coast planned, I'm really looking forward to it.
Got anything you're looking forward to?
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:10, archived)
yes

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:11, archived)
show off

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)
let me have my moment

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:19, archived)
Good.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:22, archived)
some of it really is rather good

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:41, archived)
i dunno, sounds a bit shit

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:43, archived)
yeah it's not really your thing

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:46, archived)
I'm pleased.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:43, archived)
Think I'm going to see that Free Fire film tonight.
That should be alright.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:13, archived)
What's that then?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:23, archived)
New film by Ben Wheatley. Supposed to be quite good.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)
Oh, he did a field in england.
That's a good film
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:25, archived)
I've not seen that.
I enjoyed High Rise, but I reckon I probably wouldn't have understood what was happening had I not read the book.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)
sightseers is enjoyable too

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:30, archived)
Ah yeah, I've seen that.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:33, archived)
Sightseers is fucking great! Loved it.
Kill List...

I rather like all of his films tbh

RATHER\!
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:33, archived)
I've avoided anything by him since Kill List turned out to be utterly shit.
Which is a shame, as I'd quite like to see High Rise.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:29, archived)
No way, I really enjoyed Kill List.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:34, archived)
Badly shot, predictable, and boring.
I hated it so much, as I'd heard good things about it and was looking forward to it.
Neil Maskell seemed to be asleep, for most of the film, too. He got to play a much more interesting version of him in Utopia, though.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:38, archived)
Utopia was proper good

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:40, archived)
Yeah, I'm pretty annoyed that got cancelled.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:42, archived)
it probably ended at the right time tbh
it would have been ludicrous if they'd dragged it out even longer.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:47, archived)
Never got round to watching the second series.
Didn't seem like it really needed one, to be honest.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)
Just watch the first episode of series 2
it is a masterpiece. It's beautifully made late 70s/early 80s style is brilliant and I think it stands on its own merits totally independently of the rest of the series. I can't say how much I enjoyed it.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)
i went to school with him, had a pint with him and danny dyer the other year in the red barn crayford

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:43, archived)
This rivals mcbeef's c-list celebrity connections.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:58, archived)
Is Danny going to do a documentary about you?
Please say yes, even if he isn't.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:02, archived)
Of course he is coz I'm a tasty geezer

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:21, archived)
I really liked Kill List too, and thought Sightseers was utter shit.
See how you've split the board, Wheatley? I hope you're proud of yourself.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:04, archived)
he used to post on /board

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)
And links till somebody picked on his disabled kid

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:21, archived)
stuj, presumably
he's such a meanie
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:28, archived)
since we're all chiming in. i've only seen kill list and sightseers. i enjoyed both but sightseers more

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:49, archived)
Predictable?
That ending was mental.
You must have a warped mind to see that coming.

I didn't really get A Field in England
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:34, archived)
Really?
You must have never seen a horror film before.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:49, archived)
My fave genre, but ok
\_(ツ)_/
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:51, archived)
Are you familiar with The Wicker Man?
Different story, but the twist is very similar.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:55, archived)
Straw Dogs though.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:02, archived)
Given the hype surrounding that when it came out,
it's surprisingly tame.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)
Yeah, it was banned for a while wasn't it?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:10, archived)
I think so, yeah.
Nothing I've seen from Sam Peckinpah has seemed to deserve the backlash it received at the time.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:51, archived)
Kinda, yeah. Not the Nic Cage version though!

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:04, archived)
A film that defines "so bad, it's bad".

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)
I reckon the best Nic Cage film is Wild at Heart.
But the best role in that is William Defoe as Bobby Peru.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:11, archived)
Although i did enjoy watching himself drink himself to death in leaving las vegas.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:16, archived)
I like that film very much.
Nic Cage is generally watchable, although even he couldn't save Left Behind.

Bobby Peru's wooden teeth are a thing of wonder.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:37, archived)
Not sure I'd describe the twist in The Wicker Man as 'very similar'.
A little similar, maybe. The original's a corker, though. Nic Cage is a wazzock, though, with an acting style he describes as 'nouveau shamanic' and I describe as 'bad'.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:15, archived)
The lead being manipulated by the cultists to become the key part of their ritual?
Pretty similar, and I can't honestly believe that anyone was surprised by the reveal of his final victim.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:38, archived)
TWO POUND TWENTY FOR A CUP OF TEA??
Manolith, we need to have a serious talk
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:14, archived)

jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8064752
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:15, archived)
You animal.
I'll bet you put the milk in before taking the bag out, too.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)
mate, we did this yesterday
jelly.b3ta.com/talk/8064465
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:21, archived)
Yeah, but we didn't go into detail.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)
True, the questions on everyone's lips is
What's $$'s water preference? Tap or mineral? Buxton or Volvic? Is he an Evian peasant?

*opens spreadsheet in anticipation*
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:29, archived)
used

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:34, archived)
you can't get purer than water that has passed through the kidneys

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:41, archived)
swirled around a hooker's mouth before she spits it back into my mouth

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:52, archived)
Typical PACT coffee drinker

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)

www.b3ta.com/talk/8027418
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:39, archived)
When it comes to marketing material, nothing puts me off faster than over familiarity
Stop trying to be my friend and tell me what you want my money for already
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:13, archived)
you're like a more articulate philip j fry

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:17, archived)
Same.
I don't like software/electronics that are anthropomorphised either. I don't want my microwave to say hello.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:25, archived)
"I just want to be your friend!"

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)

frinkiac.com/gif/S13E03/885426/893142/
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:41, archived)
Not exactly unpredictable,
but this is nonetheless very well done.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:53, archived)
Might have to rewatch Wall-E at some point.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:57, archived)
Wall-E is one of the weakest Pixar films in my opinion
There I said it
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:01, archived)
I agree

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:11, archived)

i.imgur.com/Z6sDyvm.png
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:16, archived)
plezh

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:20, archived)
there are Pixar films that I dislike more than Wall-E though
Maybe I'll share them with you one day
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:20, archived)
imdb list or gtfo

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:32, archived)
This is quite a good one
Cider House Rules: So good, it gets mentioned twice

www.imdb.com/list/ls053981701?ref_=tt_rls_3
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)
I'd expect a pot, with enough for at least 2 cups, for that much.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:16, archived)
i think if you sit in, that's what you get
for some reason they charge the same for a single takeaway cup
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:18, archived)
Are you a dormouse?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:29, archived)
you can't ask that, it's discriminatory

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:43, archived)
ridiculous, innit
luckily i wasn't paying. it's from that 'all about tea' place next to the uni. great for christmas presents, not so great for everyday tea needs. i'll have to remember to do a flask tomorrow. the guy who paid for the teas was livid
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)
I bet he was

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:19, archived)
Woah, tea bag is like 10p.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:23, archived)
+ing

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)
Cheap.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)
Yeah it's good value when you think about it

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)
Wife is away for the weekend, so I'll have to amuse the children.
Tempted to spent the time eating junk food and watching inappropriate films, ensuring that I'll become best dad ever.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:14, archived)
Set the clock forward so they think you're letting them stay up stupidly late, then reap the rewards of getting them into bed early.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:15, archived)
I reckon this'd only work in winter.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:32, archived)
do the lads enjoy porn as much as your daughter?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:16, archived)
No.
Eldest is learning about sex at school, and thinks sex is disgusting. In fairness, it is.

Nice callback, by the way.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:20, archived)
dunno

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:15, archived)
Juicer later?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:25, archived)
yeah, about 5 ish , i try and keep normal hours where possible

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:29, archived)
I'm quite looking forward to my trip to the UK
it'll be my first holiday with the spawn, and there's a family reunion planned.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:15, archived)
We'd promised to take the kids abroad, this year,
but then we decided that things like a new porch, shed, patio doors and sofas are more important, so our summer holiday will be in St Ives, instead.
I'm assuming the Cornish know how to make tea, or I'll be well upset.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:23, archived)
Bashbashbashbashbashbash

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)
no

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:25, archived)
You could have brought my box and saved me the shipping cost.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:25, archived)
then you'd have had to spend twice as much on fuel coming down to Kent to pick it up
THINK, MCPIG, THINK
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:31, archived)
Thinking is for management

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:42, archived)
Looking forward to a vernissage tonight and a birthday bash with some massive drugs on Sat.
Should be good.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)
I gave your nan a private viewing of my master piece last night m8

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)
That's funny, she rang me this morning and said she'd seen a lovely decorative thimble for her collection.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)
yeah, I was using them to limit skin pruning while fisting her arse
but when I pulled out I only had 4 left :(
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:42, archived)
maybe you'd be more at home on /links

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)
nah, I like stuj

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:47, archived)
The Aristocrats!

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:00, archived)
Oh, I think you dropped that in too soon

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)
I'm going on holiday next week
so I'm looking forward to that
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:21, archived)
Where you off?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)
southampton

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)
Lovely

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)
I'll take YOU to southampton in a minute, m8

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)
they've got a big Ikea

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)
can we go to toys r us?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:40, archived)
only if you're good going round Ikea

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:41, archived)
^ got a thing for geoffrey

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)
They're both tall.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:45, archived)
Skee-lo's first draftzzzzz

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)
it's a shame he lost his medical license
no more dr g. raffe
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:47, archived)
Napoli, baby

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)
I love Italy.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)
Us too
Florence next year, I reckon
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)
Yeah, Florence is ace.
We're doing Tuscany this year
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)
Nice

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:45, archived)
Yeah, Scicily is also lovely

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:40, archived)
I've not been to Sicily, where do you recommend

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:45, archived)
^
I'm planning on going there in the second leg of my honeymoon. Some amazing archaeology there
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:48, archived)
I reckon you'd like this place
www.wondersofsicily.com/taormina-castelmola.htm

They're completely obsessed with penuses
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:55, archived)
looks good

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:13, archived)
Taormina. Beautiful setting, lots to do and good rail links. Bit expensive though

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)
Don't mind the price.
Holiday is a treat.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:56, archived)
Noted with thanks

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:13, archived)
take a whole month off and do the whole place

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:49, archived)

lace opulation
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:37, archived)
another vote for Italy from me too, guys

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:43, archived)
Well that settles it
Italy = Good
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:43, archived)
i've never been
so it's got that going for it too
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)
It's the home of pizza and ice cream, m8
GET INVOLVED
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:54, archived)
i'd like to go, it just hasn't happened yet

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:10, archived)
So's the freezer section of the nearest supermarket.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:12, archived)
I went once.
I nearly drowned.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:00, archived)
Try not to upset the Mafia

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:39, archived)
I'll try my best
but I can be pretty provocative
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:42, archived)
they don't kill people outside the system
hth
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)
You seem to take an awful lot of holidays.
Maybe it's just me, though.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:30, archived)
4 or 5 a year
Is that a lot? I don't know.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)
Seems pretty excessive m8

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:38, archived)
Lol

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:51, archived)
Seems like a lot to me.
But, then again, I don't travel much.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:51, archived)


(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)
What?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:01, archived)
I want to book a holiday but can't be fucked to do the research.
This has resulted in me not going on holiday in the past.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:38, archived)
^ this
I don't really know where to start, and don't care enough to learn.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:54, archived)
you're a couple of useless divs

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:02, archived)
It's people like them, that never leave the country that have caused brexit.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:07, archived)
Just seems like a lot of effort for something I probably won't enjoy all that much.
At least when I holiday in the UK, I can drive to where we're going, and leave when I've had enough.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:11, archived)
Oh I'm sure I'll enjoy something.
It's just I procrastinate the research.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)
do your family go on holiday without you?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:48, archived)
Don't be daft!
The kids are all too young to drive.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)
A few things actually, but they're spread across the year

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:25, archived)
I'm only interested in the next 48 days.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)
Why? Do you know something we don't?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)
It's just any longer than that is going to impact on later plan threads

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:57, archived)
no, wrestlemania is over with for another year

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:27, archived)
lol
Come on, m8...PAYBACK! THE BLANDEST STAGE OF THEM ALL!!
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:37, archived)
i can't wait to see braun strowman vs the big show in a 'who can move the slowest' contest

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:41, archived)
Big show was never particularly quick.
Nice to see the hardy boys back, they did some pretty cool stunts back in the day.
I remember a good rivalry with the Dudley boys for a bit.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:09, archived)
he's actually in really good shape right now
i think he might want to do one more big feud and then retire. when he first appeared (in wcw, i think), they pretended he was the son of andre the giant

yeah the hardyz rivalry with the dudleys and edge & christian was one of the best running feuds of all time. they had this match at mania 17 and it's probably one of my favourites ever. www.dailymotion.com/video/xkqx7i_edge-christian-vs-the-hardys-vs-the-dudleys-tlc-ii-world-tag-team-championships-wrestlemania-x7_sport
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)
searching for this (it's known as tlc2) led me to an amazon result for the 'tlc 2-tone pussy masturbator'

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:16, archived)
^ chasing waterfalls

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:20, archived)
Sounds lovely, I'm sure your cat would appreciate that.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:21, archived)
I remember that.
Edge and Christian still about?
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:25, archived)
neither wrestle anymore
edge got a neck injury and isn't allowed. christian just retired. they do a comedy show for the wwe's online streaming service and edge does some acting now and then.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:28, archived)
They were high flyers, no surprise they retired early.
Is it as good now as attitude era? People tell me it is, and I've got sky now to watch it.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)
i'm probably the wrong person to ask as i think the attitude era was overrated
but the quality of wrestling is the best it's ever been. they're not allowed to rely on some of the 'cheaper' methods of getting crowd reactions anymore, like blading. it all has to come from skill.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:57, archived)
It's like old ECW
It was so exciting at the time, and seems so pointless now. The fans didn't care who won, or why, as long as someone got thrown off of something high.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:06, archived)
Attitude era is what I watched, as a kid it was brilliant.
Steve Austin, undertaker, all the McMahon and hhh stuff. And Mick Foley was a hero.
I might pick it up again, if probably enjoy different aspects.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:14, archived)
NXT is well worth a watch
In a lot of ways, I prefer it to 'proper' WWE these days
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:24, archived)
Fun Fact about Big Show
When he started in WCW, he would move around very quickly. On one occasion he did a moonsault off the top rope, pretty dramatic for a 7 footer. Later on that night he got told off by management because "giants don't do backflips".
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:34, archived)
I've just found a statue of you.
imgur.com/gNlOGMK
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:43, archived)
I don't like this
but by god, I respect it
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:45, archived)
did you know that since taker's wrestlemania streak ended, the current holder of biggest streak (of piss, lol) is rvd with 4-0

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:59, archived)
ah
Undertaker's is going to be difficult to beat.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:03, archived)
His name refers to this, right?
The main signs of labour starting are strong, regular contractions and a "show". A show is when the plug of mucus from your cervix comes away.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:18, archived)
yeah, that's it
a really big one
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)
can you give me some brief facts about it to impress an 11 year old?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:45, archived)
disgusting on a family forum

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:46, archived)
Undertaker has retired
that's all you need to know
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:47, archived)
bo dallas is bray wyatt's brother

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:09, archived)
and their dad is IRS

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:35, archived)

i.imgur.com/4tryEIe.jpg
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:07, archived)
that's a great picture

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:11, archived)

i.imgur.com/vs2WeaQ.jpg
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:38, archived)
Awesome.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:14, archived)
I'm looking forward to taking my kid to Fun DMC on Sunday
I've bought her a new hip hop t shirt for the occasion. She doesn't know where we're going: I told her it was to something really cool and she asked if it was as cool as Fun DMC, and I told her it's pretty cool, but not as cool as that. She will lose her mind when we get there.

Oh yeah, also: wedding and honeymoon
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:42, archived)
I'm also looking forward to the wedding.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:55, archived)
:)

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)
It wasn't much fun when Jason Mizell got shot dead, was it?
How can you be so insensitive?
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:04, archived)
He was involved in some dodgy shit

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)
Wikipedia says it's all Fifty Cent's fault.
I'm happy to believe that.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:29, archived)
I'm looking forward to more Urugayan Wagyu Burgers
we've got about 18 for Friday
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:56, archived)
lol
u r gay
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:01, archived)
Ive got a good friend visiting this weekend.
Will be having a jolly nice catch up over some gins, and maybe a drive to the beach on Sunday. Not seen her for almost a year, so should be fun
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:28, archived)
North or South?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)
Woolacombe

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:32, archived)
Good stuff, hope weather's good for you

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:38, archived)
Love it there

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:44, archived)
For a place in Devon, it sure does sound Australian.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:43, archived)
beautiful part of the world
hope the weather holds
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:01, archived)
I don't mind,
We had a fantastic weekend there last year where it was some of the worst storms if ever seen.
We sat up on the cliffs in a little cafe watching the boiling sea for hours. And the restaurant we found had a view over the bay, lightning strikes and all the power goes out, so drinks by candlelight while they figured out how to sort dessert.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:16, archived)
not going to argue there
some of the best holidays I've had, we've had terrible weather. Well I hope you have a good time, I'm sure you will
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:28, archived)
heavy drinking

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 11:49, archived)
drink responsibly

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:11, archived)
4 u anything

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:15, archived)
i love u a bit

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:28, archived)
How heavy?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:19, archived)
not sure
just trying to look cool
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)
Careful m8, you'll end up an alcoholic like Spanishfly

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:29, archived)
you're right

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)
morning

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 7:10, archived)
Hoi Grrro!

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 7:29, archived)
alright
I'm drenched
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 7:31, archived)
sounds sexual

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:26, archived)
I have that effect on people
It's a gift and a curse
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)
morning

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 7:39, archived)
alright
what's happening in the world of broadsword?
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 7:44, archived)
Just coffee
coffee's great isn't it?
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 7:55, archived)
I like coffee
I've had two cups already
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:14, archived)
I too like coffee, but had to cut down from drinking it throughout the day
to only having it in the morning :(
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)
oh :(

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)
Digestion or heart?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:34, archived)
willy

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:36, archived)
+ bum bum

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)
Heart
I was averaging about 6 - 8 cups a day, not for the kick but for the taste, I prefer it to tea
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:48, archived)
switch to whiskey

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:57, archived)
Done...aaaaaand done!
Yay now I'm unemployed! :D
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:03, archived)
You couldn't find a decent decaf?
A cup of tea has about as much caffeine as coffee, so that wouldn't have saved you.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:10, archived)
Not a fan of decaf, as I'm one of thos gay hipster types who either buys beans and grinds them
or buys pre ground, none of that instant muck. I've just cut down to either an espresso or two cups a day now
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:22, archived)
--
---
.-.
-.
..
-.
--.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 7:53, archived)
-.-- ---

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 7:56, archived)
*waves flags*

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:14, archived)
Good morning. What can I do for you today?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:16, archived)
sex please!

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:20, archived)
male

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:01, archived)
tell me why my segment LEDs flicker when using a digispark with a buck converter
but don't when I use a nano with the same power supply
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:21, archived)
One has capacitors smoothing the supply.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:27, archived)
the buck converter should be smoothing the supply though
but yer, maybe I'll try adding one
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:30, archived)
right, it's definitely not the power supply
I've tried four different ones now and the problem persists. It's definitely the digisparks, but I don't know why.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)
Try swapping it for a Pokésparks

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:20, archived)
Put the cap after the digisparks.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:25, archived)
what do you mean?
The digispark connects directly to the supply, then uses digital pins to shunt data to two shift registers, which control 4 LED anodes. Two of the anodes are buggering about but I can't tell why.

I think it's actually code related, like the digispark's clock frequency being affected by the power input or summink.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:49, archived)
but when optimus prime died, he gave the digispark to hot rod
turning him into 'rodimus prime'. i still think ultra magnus should have got it instead
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)
WHOA
spoilers m8
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:52, archived)
oh shit, sorry

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:53, archived)

optimus prime fred
the digispark jane
ultra magnus bungle
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:11, archived)
^playing with his twanger

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:20, archived)
Because you touch yourself at night

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:32, archived)
I don't think that can be the cause of ALL my problems m8

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:41, archived)
Foreigns AND
touching yourself at night
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:44, archived)
garidead - the solutions architect this moribund flebsite needs

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)
Probably some sort of virus, there's a lot of them about

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)
when are you pricks going to come up with some sort of panacea for viruses?
it's a pretty poor show that you categorise every single thing that you can neither recognise nor treat as a virus
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)
It's difficult because viruses are so small that you can't actually see them but we know they're probably there, a bit like your penus

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)
I can't believe it's the International Day of Sport for Development and Peace once again
blows my mind
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:21, archived)
Freaks my nut

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:24, archived)
stay safe
stay safe my sweetest x x x
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:26, archived)
OH HAI

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:24, archived)
SUPER ^ __ ^

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:41, archived)
Neko face for the win.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:45, archived)

(●ω`●)
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:50, archived)
I hope that Yeto-san will notice me.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:15, archived)
Tsundere chat

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:33, archived)
N-No...

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)

desu lynam
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:58, archived)
Morning.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:24, archived)
bit formal

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:41, archived)


(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:25, archived)
wahey!

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:26, archived)
Business is about to pick up!

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:31, archived)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Beer%27s_Eve
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:29, archived)
Beautiful

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:31, archived)
I'm getting in on that

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)
don't give me that fucking look sunshine

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)
morning all

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:40, archived)
alright Richard

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)
Boyce

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:50, archived)
Bore da
(that's your actual Welsh, don't you know)
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:44, archived)
my step-dad's welsh
but I've never heard him saying anything in that merlinesque tongue
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:48, archived)
It's a beautiful language

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)
I love it
A guy at work speaks it, so I learned a few phrases and tried them out on him. Unsurprisingly, my pronunciation was terrible :)
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)
*starts rousing rendition of Cwn Rhondda*

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:11, archived)
^ locked in a freezer with Ben Jhaveri.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)
Hi(raeth)

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:51, archived)
there's a song on our album with that title

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:56, archived)
Are you secretly Super Furry Animals?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)
no real names pls

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:17, archived)
Penguin
is from the Welsh for Pen - head and gwyn - white.

Mae cas geni bore ma ond rydw i wedi angofio holl fy'ng nghymraeg.

I'm really rusty...
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:19, archived)
I see

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:22, archived)
hang on a minute ...
they have black heads
ok, so the baby ones sometimes have white faces, but they still have black heads
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:26, archived)

pen - head, or face.
gwyn - white, or black.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:30, archived)
stupid language
I hope they all get killed on a zebra crossing
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:31, archived)
ugh

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:47, archived)
^ tumblrina

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:50, archived)
Still not well?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:53, archived)
first thing in the morning is the worst part of the day
closely followed by last thing at night
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)
Sorry to hear that, m8
Hope you start to feel better soon
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:57, archived)
thx hun

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:00, archived)
The joy I would feel at today being my Friday is being undermined by my having to have a serious word with my underling.
Morning, all. If you were my brother, what would you want for your birthday?
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)
I am in the same dilemma brotherly present-wise
I've only seen him twice in three years
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)
sexual favours

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)
This idea is not without merit.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:11, archived)
a picture of Ricky Gervais as David Brent (although singed by himself) doing that dance
with the words "Happy Birthday [brother's name], Have a good one. All the breast!
From,
David.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)
bottle of expensive brandy

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)
XO Hennessy

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:29, archived)
Something relevant to my interests

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)
guffs

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)
Lexi Belle

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:19, archived)
a night on the town with Two Hats

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:25, archived)
Southampton?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:27, archived)
whatever is easiest for him

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)
the album Avalon by Roxy Music

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)
to put him in the mood for this
b3ta.com/talk/8064679
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:32, archived)
pass on that

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:33, archived)


(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:31, archived)
Just the love only 2 brothers can share

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:42, archived)
my two brothers hate eachother
one wasn't even invited to the other's wedding
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)
Serves him right for not wearing the right trousers to the Christening.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:02, archived)
Yeah, but one of you're brothers is demonstrably a knob.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:02, archived)
yeah, that's the one who wasn't invited
the other one's a full-on autismo. I bought him a parachute jump for his stag gift; he said "no" and that was that.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:12, archived)
How do they feel about you?

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:12, archived)
I'm the only person in my family that all other family members talk to
getting away from the drama was one reason for emigrating.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:13, archived)
a pillowcase full of seaweed

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)
it is that great day of Thor again!
By Jupiter!
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:32, archived)
a m8 of mine who got divorced recently bought himself a Brunswick pool table
blue cloth, yay!
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)
just had a cup of tea that cost £2.20
madness
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:42, archived)
well they have to make enough to cover their overheads

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)
they make their own tea on the premises and it's a local business. they do about 30 flavours, etc etc
but we were only looking for a cup of english breakfast because the canteen is shut for easter and didn't want to go to greggs or fucking starbucks
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:52, archived)
greggs tea is disgusting

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:54, archived)
and the heir to greggs the empire is a paedo

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:01, archived)
It's a pie shop for people who don't like pies. Everything there is disgusting.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:03, archived)
it will all change after brexit, you'll see

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:59, archived)
nope, we're not allowed to moan about prices on here apparently

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:47, archived)
this is true though
it's not like i said it was 40
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)
how much should a cup of tea cost?
in my head an expensive pint is anything over 2quid, and cups of tea should cost 20p and come in polystyrene cups, cos I'm so out of touch.
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:14, archived)


(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:52, archived)
wankers

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:49, archived)
the guy serving was a right sullen nob as well
i'm very disappointed
(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:54, archived)
Broken Brexit, my bananas are still bent as well

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:52, archived)
Alright /talk
I don't have AIDS and I am not an alcoholic despite what the on the spectrum 2can says.

What's going on chaps? Anyone listen to Bill Burrs podcasts? If not why not? Gay.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 22:17, archived)
I'm not usually wrong about these things

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 8:10, archived)
He was two and a half hours late when his mate rung him, what was the point in going in
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/15205278.Bus_driver_who_drank_vodka_and_margaritas_all_night_before_crashing_his_bus_into_a_Dartford_home_spared_jail/
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:23, archived)
respect for being 56 and boozing all night

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:26, archived)
And no sniff, they would've tested

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:28, archived)
Yeah, a solid nine-hour sesh on the spirits is respectable in anyone's books.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:59, archived)
If he was still two times the limit at 9pm, fair play

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:13, archived)
Good liver on him, that's for sure.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:13, archived)
Might you gov a poll to get his job back

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:20, archived)
He's demonstrating the sort of gumption in the face of adversity that we could all benefit from in these difficult times.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:22, archived)
Whatever next !
m.kentlive.news/teenager-threatened-with-knife-in-sevenoaks/story-30252411-detail/story.html
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:38, archived)
This is great. I'm trying to imagine his thought process:
"Oh no, I am late! I had better go and drive my bus or I might lose my job!", while attempting to put on his work trousers and falling over for the fourth time.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:55, archived)
He was only there about an hour

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:00, archived)
lol poo driver

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:13, archived)
Frank OkanlaLOST, more like

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:38, archived)
Don't give up your day job.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:48, archived)
this is why I had to settle for global financial news rather than tabloid journalism

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:52, archived)
The gossip pages loss

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 22:26, archived)
Billy Zane,
What ever happened to that Cunt?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 19:39, archived)
Not a clue
Changed into a mass of amorphous proteins and slithered down a drain?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 19:47, archived)
Possinly

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:21, archived)
ate a large amount of grain

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 19:53, archived)
Nope

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:22, archived)
went to Spain
he didn't like it
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:05, archived)
Yeah like anyone likes Spain

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:22, archived)
He's got two young kids
I guess he decided to have a life
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:12, archived)
Nah

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:22, archived)
he died in 9/11

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:19, archived)
Classic $$

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:21, archived)
So, that went well, huh?
I'm waiting for manolith to break his silence on whether or not he's banned Ken Livingstone from /talk, yet.
What are you waiting for?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:06, archived)
Godot. Lol!
Actually, I'm waiting for my ex to turn up with the food in her fridge that she won't eat, now that I have a fridge of my own in which to put it.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:08, archived)
Homot, more like

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:09, archived)
"The 't' is silent, as in 'Harlow'."

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:10, archived)
....

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:11, archived)
the golden age of put-downs
I like this
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 21:25, archived)
Sour milk, wilted veg and rancid meat?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:10, archived)
Hopefully not.
There will be cheese involved. She hates cheese.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:11, archived)
You're well shot of her.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:15, archived)
I'mma answer the door to her while dressed as a cheese sandwich.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:16, archived)
This made me laugh more than it should and I don't know why
Probably a sign of cancer :(
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:11, archived)
You are Wallis from The Wrong Trousers
AICMFP
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:24, archived)
I hadn't noticed this parallel before.
Crumbs.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:36, archived)
Wasn't Wallis the guy from Dying Hardly or saink?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:12, archived)
We were supposed to be doing a presentation on ourselves for the boss's boss's boss tomorrow
but it's been postponed. I'm quite pleased about this.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:08, archived)
Can't they afford whiteboards?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:09, archived)
I have no idea

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:10, archived)
It's an important issue and needs to be addressed.
Demand to see the MD, immediately.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:11, archived)
The meeting will be done virtually
so I'm not sure it's relevant, but I'll bring it up at the next budget meeting
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:12, archived)
What, WebEx, or something?
I hope you've got an interactive Two Hats, for the audience to click on? "Tap his belly to make him giggle, or click on his feet to watch him dance!"
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:16, archived)
I wish
I never even use my webcam, but he wants us to use it for this call. I'm dreading it. Just because it's not happening tomorrow, doesn't mean it won't happen at some point.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:29, archived)
download this so that you're ready
store.steampowered.com/app/274920/
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:32, archived)
O.M.God.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:35, archived)
"instant digital cosplay!"

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:40, archived)
is there any other three word phrase in the english language, any sweeter than this??

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:55, archived)
"free bar reception"

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:59, archived)


(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 18:09, archived)
this is life

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)
I don't see the point of webcams.
All it captures is a blurry pic of someone looking like they don't want to be there.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:37, archived)
Not just a blurry pic, don't forget about the 10 - 15 frame per second slideshow
And the continuous gloing gloing that sounds like everyone is talking underwater
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:14, archived)
Surely they should know what you do already.
And if they don't that sounds like a management issue.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:09, archived)
Oh, not at that level
I mean, he knows what the team does...He seems to be someone who's keen on individuals.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:11, archived)
My boss has whole systems in place to not deal with individuals.
I got hassled into doing some corporate questionnaire earlier. It was some feedback/test thing to see if I knew about various internal frameworks or something. I got bored and stopped reading it and just gave everything 7/10.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:13, archived)
good for him

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:13, archived)
Also, if someone like that asks what you do, professionally or personally
saying "you're the boss, you should already know" is probably not a very smart thing to do.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:13, archived)
what if everything you know about being a boss was gleaned from the 'like a boss' video by lonely island?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:16, archived)
I tell the ladies I'm in charge of zooming in after the 2nd treble-20.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:17, archived)
I usually stay out of the way of people who look important.
So they don't ask me what I do. I get the impression it's best not to be known by these people.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:20, archived)

a management issue an oecumenical matter.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:18, archived)
write 'fuck' on one set of knuckles and 'all!' on the other
then stride in there and punch them in the face, twice
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:15, archived)
I like this.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:17, archived)
lol

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:28, archived)
you gonna slip in a few cheeky holiday snaps?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:16, archived)
like what you see?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:29, archived)
I do

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:34, archived)
almost certainly NSFW
i.imgur.com/mdQKxkx.jpg
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:39, archived)
and now I wank

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:09, archived)
vaya con dios

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:10, archived)
contents: checked

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:59, archived)
hahaha you work for a yank company

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:32, archived)
I sure do
a fucking big one, an'all
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:35, archived)
you'd have been waiting a while
i didn't even know the question had been posed
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:13, archived)
Well, that does it!
I'm withdrawing my funding.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:18, archived)

funding penus
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:36, archived)

with
+on
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:48, archived)
Humpty Dump by the Vibrettes and Hard to Handle by Patti Drew

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:22, archived)
lol "dump"

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:24, archived)
I hear mcbeef's dumps can be terribly hard to handle.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:29, archived)
no m8

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:29, archived)
lol "hump"

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:34, archived)
nothing

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:32, archived)
Payment

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:43, archived)
5.15

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:52, archived)
^ out of his brain on the train

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:13, archived)
:)

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:26, archived)
one of my youtube fans just pointed out
that Purrrmachine died a year ago today
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:01, archived)
the traffic to die down
and then I might take the dog for a haircut/nail clipping/oil change etc
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 17:55, archived)
Merlot & vindaloo

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 18:52, archived)
what to do this fine evening

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 18:54, archived)
Ghost in the Shell DVD, probably released at £1 next week

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 19:28, archived)
Wanna speak from an informed position about why it's so inferior to previous versions while stroking my neckbeard but no way am I paying today's cinema prices

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 19:36, archived)
Might just parrot some YouTube "expert" and all their tedious opinions, even cheaper

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 19:37, archived)
IF YOU ENJOYED MY 45 MINUTES OF MONOTONOUS DRONE INTERSPERSED WITH COPYRIGHT-INFRINGING 2 SECOND GRABS OF CARTOON ROBOT TITS DON'T FORGET TO LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 19:49, archived)
You sir are a potato, and your wife is a sack of bellends.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:06, archived)
The best way to show you're not upset is to reply to every single criticism

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 20:16, archived)
So my cat killed this sparrow just by catching it
made what looked like a tiny cut on the chest and it didn't bleed much but it seemed to die of a heart attack.

What's the grimmest thing you've ever seen?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:04, archived)
Nick Grimshaw?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:07, archived)

Grim Ker
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)
lol, "Nick Ker"!
Like pants!
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:26, archived)
stuj's wife's fanny

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:08, archived)
I can't work out if her fanny is revolting, really popular, or insignificant.
"I like that" is really inconsistent with his insults.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:10, archived)
loads
celebrity porn vids and pics, saddam hussien hanging, majority of liveleak, a loved one dying, etc.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:08, archived)
celebrity porn vids have just taught me that even rich and famous people have really dull sex
Paris Hilton's one looks almost necrophilial, she's so dead inside.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:11, archived)
walking home after clubbing one night
a car came careering off the road and smashed into a wall metres from me.

I was less concerned about the bloody faces in the driver and passenger seat, and more about the fact I had windscreen glass in my chips and curry sauce.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:09, archived)
Oh man, glass is so hard to pick out of food
I really wish my wife was more careful when cooking, it's such a regular occurence.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:12, archived)
I got glass splinters in my tongue, once,
as I've almost certainly mentioned before.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)
I once sliced my tongue licking a can lid.
Greedy bastard.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:14, archived)
You spaz.
Also, "ow".
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:19, archived)
She's doing it deliberately.
Buy her a grinder so she can do you in properly like they did in oz.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:04, archived)
Probably those anti-smoking photos where someone is squeezing the fat out of an artery.
Yum.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:10, archived)
Put it on some toast
Laaaaarvly
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:12, archived)
urgh yeah, that's grim
and yet, I'm subscribed to /r/popping
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)
alt: this
b3ta.com/questions/smells/post2189171
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:15, archived)
Old people are disgusting.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:18, archived)
Noel Edmunds

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:12, archived)
imagine what his face would be like if he shaved

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:13, archived)
I'll put that thought into my rotation of current nightmares

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:20, archived)
The horror,
the horror.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:22, archived)
Classic look of a coach driver

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:24, archived)
did you ever see that weird news talk show he had on either Sky on Channel 5?
it was mental
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:15, archived)
Noel's HQ?
The clips on Youtube still astound me that Sky actually thought it was worth commissioning.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:19, archived)
I saw a bit on screenwipe. It looked proper daily express.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:05, archived)
Human Centipede 2

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:14, archived)
the uncut edition
with the baby, before anyone asks
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:15, archived)
shit off

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:19, archived)
yeah, it was bad
gave me a bit of a jolt, actually
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:21, archived)
The only thing more confusing to me than the decision someone made to make that film series,
is the decision by other people to watch it.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:19, archived)
morbid curiosity, I dunno
same reason people look at a car crash
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:21, archived)
The first one is silly...comical even
the second one is just horrific. To the point where I would recommend NOT watching it. The third one is just stupid. Total shit.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:22, archived)
Are you the sort of person who hears about nonsense like "A Serbian Film"
and adds it to their watchlist?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:24, archived)
If you mean "have I watched A Serbian Film"
then yes
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:25, archived)
Was it everything you'd hoped it would be?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:26, archived)
what are you getting at?
have YOU seen it?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:28, archived)
No point, I already know how it ends.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:31, archived)
oh

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:51, archived)
It's the same reason I've never watched Titanic, or Citizen Kane.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:55, archived)
I've seen those and I don't remember any baby rape.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:01, archived)
Yeah, the theatrical cut of Titanic is pretty tame.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:03, archived)
and I enjoyed it
there
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:28, archived)
Poo on a stick.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:17, archived)
Oh yeah, I've seen that before
that is well grim
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:18, archived)
easy now

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:20, archived)
whose poo?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:20, archived)
there's a children's picture book waiting to be written
get Tony Ross or Axel Scheffler on board and you're laughing all the way to the bank
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:23, archived)
The poo bank.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:24, archived)
I keep mine under the mattress

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:26, archived)
Haha, imagine if a burglar broke into your house whilst you were there,
and demanded that you give him all your money, so you told him it was stashed under the mattress, and then he runs into the bedroom, flips the mattress off the bed, and grabs a big handful before noticing that it's poo, not money. And then you walk in and say "Haha, now you're a turd burglar!".

Haha, can you imagine? That'd be well funny!
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:30, archived)
poo theft is no laughing matter m8

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:33, archived)
You're right, I'm sorry.
There was no need for that.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:35, archived)
National Trust policy for dog mess is to get a stick and flick the poo under a bush.
Their properties must be awash with poo sticks.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:21, archived)
That's why I cancelled my membership

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:52, archived)
English Heritage 4 lyf

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:54, archived)
I've got a tattoo.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:57, archived)
Yeah?
Well I've got a tatthree
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:13, archived)
flaming dice?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:15, archived)
i've got six

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:30, archived)
You ever dip your biscuit in your tea and it breaks. I swear now, you never get used to that.
Rich Teas should be called one dips. Hobnobs are like marines, hobnobs. They're like the bloody S.A.S. of the biscuit world, hobnobs. You dip a hobnob, it's like, 'Again! Again! Dip me again, I'm going nowhere me, son, dip me! Is that all you've got? Come on!
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:28, archived)
#bantz

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:29, archived)
an hero

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:30, archived)
it's kay, innit?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:07, archived)
yeah :(

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:53, archived)
I don't drink tea
it's yet another thing on the list of Stuff I Don't Like
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:35, archived)
This is why you're not allowed back into the country.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:39, archived)
I hate it too

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:40, archived)
What are you,
Mooslem or summink?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:59, archived)
I live on coffee and water
no fizzy drinks, tea, squash or anything like that.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:49, archived)
We have free squash here; I very occasionally treat myself to a lemon barley.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2017, 10:41, archived)
Only the worst sort of people dip biscuits.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:52, archived)
I certainly wouldn't dip a biscuit into tea

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:53, archived)
Mate i'll dip kitkats and everything. I don't give a fuck.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:15, archived)
the only thing I like to dip is my wick ;)

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:54, archived)
I hope you leave the tea to cool down a bit

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:32, archived)
Southampton

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:32, archived)
Two Hats goes there every Saturday night for a tear up

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:38, archived)
It's a fucking hellhole

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:46, archived)
Is that because he doesn't want his pompey mates to see him cry.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:51, archived)
Why's everyone picking on me today?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:52, archived)
Is it national pick on twohats day?
Check the calendar.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:54, archived)
bad

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:58, archived)
Yeah when the winds blowing the right way and you get the unavoidable whiff of poverty and a town clinging desperately to its long dead heritage
It brings a tear to your eye, smells of shit too I've noticed
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:18, archived)
my elderly aunt's bathrobe fall open

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:48, archived)
loosely wrapped bacon sandwich?
or burst welly?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:53, archived)
Oh. :(

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:55, archived)
run-over badger

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:56, archived)
Orangutans forehead.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:17, archived)
it was like a massive patch of wire wool glued to a butcher's offcuts

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:57, archived)
My wife's slightly dotty grandmother wandered into the kitchen without her trousers, once
That was a pleasant start to my day.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:01, archived)
yeah
when the mind starts to go, the first thing they forget is underwear
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:15, archived)
Got to look after my dad for a weekend, next month.
He's doubly incontinent, so I'm going to encourage him to maintain his independence, as far as I can.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:33, archived)
oooohh, that's going to be nasty
i'm off home now because the mad aunt has a doctor's appointment and she needs me to go pick up any medication he prescribes. he won't prescribe anything, she's got a cold, the fucking crank.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:41, archived)
rub his nose in it
it's the only way they learn
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:45, archived)
lol
Might lock him in the garden until he learns to behave.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:59, archived)
One of the middle aged soaks in my local turned up one day.
"Alright Jim?"
"So-so, can't stay long. The wife's got her dad round."
"I'm surprised you didn't take him down here."
"You can't take him anywhere... he stinks of pish."
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:02, archived)
Oh, i saw the inside of my own arse.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:55, archived)
You're very flexible.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:58, archived)
I had a full endoscopy
it was interesting, actually. Didn't hurt as much as I thought it would, either.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:59, archived)
^gay

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:00, archived)
lol teh goatse !!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:01, archived)
Yeah, that's me.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 15:02, archived)
Did some work in a mortery
didn't see an autopsy, but knocked at the door to ask a question and saw the team at the other end of the room pulling lots of red gubbins from a cadaver. Just turned away and waited for them to take a coffee break.

Best line from that lot "you remember him, he was the one who was so fat we couldn't fit him in a fridge, we had to leave him out the back and he leaked."
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 16:27, archived)
Mature, grown-up non puerile afternoon thread with no need to resort to sexism or blue languange
Come on /talk, you're better than this. Just bloody grow up.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:27, archived)
SHIT ON A DOG'S CUNT

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:28, archived)
#infest

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:28, archived)
Roger Rabbit bursts from his hiding place

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:40, archived)
Haha!
No toon can resist, indeed.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:42, archived)
SPUNK ON A NUN'S CUNT

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:32, archived)
This is dumb for even your Talk/efforts
Show some respect to those who still have some time and love this place. If you don't like it then stop whining and feck off and leave us alone from your childish pranks.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:33, archived)
U MELT

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:37, archived)
You, sir, are a bell-end. And your wife is like a sack of potatoes, with a terribly smelly fanny. We've all smelt it. Oh, and her tits aren't much to look at either.
And your team spiders bollocks is terribly dull. It seems to be the longest-running bit of "whackiness" the internet has ever had the misfortune to endure.

Your very presence on b3ta makes it less enjoyable for everyone else. You have never contributed anything meaningful to the site, and everyone else thinks you are a huge disappointment.

As does your mother. Now she was never blessed with any wit or personality herself, but even she had the insight within her tiny little lacklustre mind to realise how tedious you are. This is why she never really loved you as a child. And your father was too busy fantasising about fucking you to notice.

It is funny isn't it, how a person so mediocre, so unimportant, so one-dimensional, could ever think that he is superior to those with Autism or Asperger's.

So, Stuj, you tedious little inbred, take your ugly and insipid wife back to you your unremarkable home with your unremarkable family and think about what you've done. If you have accidentally left the gas on and the resulting explosion when you switch on the lights on your return home kills you and your universally unimpressive loved ones, the world will keep on moving with no regrets or tears.


(^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^) = Really? This is your idea of humour? This and your comments about people with autism? Fuck you, you tedious little anus.



HTH. xxxx
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)
woah
Imagine being that upset. Who said it?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)
It was me, m8

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:41, archived)

www.b3ta.com/links/1431858
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:42, archived)
heavens

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:47, archived)
hahahaha, top stujjing there

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:49, archived)
oh god, that just made me very sad

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:50, archived)
I didn't realise the original Doink the Clown died until yesterday

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:50, archived)
yer, someone else just took up the mantle
like a superhero
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:55, archived)
he was dead at the time

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:58, archived)
siick

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)

i l
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)
and I found out stephen merchant is making a wrestling film
I knew nothing about wrestling until two days ago. Now i'm an expert AMA
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:00, archived)
Do you think that WWE are right to keep Daniel Bryan from wrestling
in spite of every other (non-wwe affiliated) doctor giving him the all-clear?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:01, archived)
Oh yeah totally
I mean, whatever you think of Bryan, he will always give 100%.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)
good answer

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)
do you think John Cena and Nikki Bella's relationship really is a cynical sham and that they only announced their forthcoming wedding to silence the haters like the Miz and Maryse?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:03, archived)
Oh yeah totally
I mean, whatever you think of Bella, she will always give 100%.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:06, archived)
cor she could give me 100%

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:07, archived)
I hope she has autisms as that would make the fuck sweeter

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:08, archived)
bless, they try so hard

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:16, archived)
^this is a classic call back in comedy
it takes years to master this technique. Your Whitehalls and McIntyres didn't just float into comedy without understanding these simple tricks, it took years of material, hard graft to appreciate and understand their craft.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:18, archived)
do you think that andrade 'cien' almas calls himself that because 'cien' is spanish for 100 and he always gives 100%

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:09, archived)
No
I think he wants to give 100% but frequently lets down his fans and family
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:10, archived)
you're very perceptive

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:12, archived)
anyway, turn that frown upside down

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:52, archived)
*futurama gif*

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:55, archived)
hasn't been funny for over 50 years

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:56, archived)
Don't be ridiculous
Manolith isn't 50
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:01, archived)
OR AM I?!
no, i'm not
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:04, archived)
what I always love best about these is that they seem to imagine there is really cutting stuff in their words that's really going to harsh the buzz of the mean and nasty trolls

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:01, archived)
Me too
If someone threatened to shove a wine bottle up my wife's arse, I'd be so upset I wouldn't know what to do with myself
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:02, archived)
Maybe you could shove that wine bottle up your wife's arse by yourself?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:04, archived)
yeah maybe

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:10, archived)
aye
the fact that they put that badly-written mess together and then presumably sat back and thought 'THAT will show them'
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:11, archived)
If someone I didn't know told me that they thought my wife was unattractive,
I'd delete myself from the internet. I'd have no other choice.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:14, archived)
not to mention pointing out how unremarkable your family are
jesus, these people are pathetic
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:16, archived)
Slights against by family will be met with only the most serious threats of violence.
I'm led to believe that empty offers of physical retribution are the only language these animals understand.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:23, archived)
I'm going to the /links bash tooled up

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)
If push comes to shove, I'll take refuge behind Two Hats, let his blade skills protect me.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:31, archived)
we could all hide behind him

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:33, archived)


(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)
he'll get too gamey if we all crowd him

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)
k, I'm reporting this to Rob

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:38, archived)
then I'm going to shove a wine bottle up your wife's bum

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:39, archived)
as long as it's red wine she won't mind

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:41, archived)
Is Chilean ok?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:44, archived)
Netflix and Chilean
hahahaha current
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:46, archived)
oh hahahaha

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:48, archived)
they say this place is dead on its arse yet look at this fine example of the right laugh we still have here

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:55, archived)
I think if we were links we would condemn such behaviour
internets is serious
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:57, archived)
is this funny because currants are made of grapes, like wine is?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:03, archived)
What a classy lady.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:44, archived)
thank you

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:48, archived)
There'll be more than enough tools there already.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:33, archived)
I've got my tool
*points to crotch*
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:49, archived)
lolololololol
internet is srs bsns for them
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:41, archived)
wow.
Poor Stuj gets that, and fucking Frogbeat goes missing for a day and everyone falls over themselves to say how brilliant he is? This place really has gone insane.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)
it's all to do with the cliques of this place

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)
I hope he's been run over by a fucklift
FUCKLIFT LOL!!!
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:58, archived)
hahahaha FUCKLIFT hahahahahahahahaha!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 13:08, archived)
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 14:01, archived)
publically endorsing stuj here

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)
STUFF UR CUNT UP MY SHITPIPE

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:37, archived)
pervert

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)
*mental note*
Two Hats has a roomy shitpipe
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)
Not really
I just hang up lots of mirrors, to give the illusion of space
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:41, archived)
I bet it resembles a solar farm

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:44, archived)
You'd win that bet

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:59, archived)
Ram it up yer chuffer until your eyes pop out and roll around on the floor, and then dogs will come along and get all curious about the eyes, and sniff and lick them, and then rub their botbots on them, and then chew them into a right fine mess.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)
GO AWAY YOU SILLY MAN

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:39, archived)
WOMEN ARE FUCKING SHITCUNTS

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)
away and take your face for a shite.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:47, archived)


(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:57, archived)
Knockers
A thread for all things tit-related
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:42, archived)
sorry lady boarders

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:43, archived)
and non-binary gender fluid boarders

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)
and poofs

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)
Cheers!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)
I'm nothing if not inclusive, m8

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:55, archived)
fuck 'em

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)
I mean, cor wouldn't it be ace to do a sex on a lady?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)
I make no apologies.
Women have tits. There's no avoiding that fact. Embrace them and embrace the topic; maybe they want to discuss bras, sizings, back pain, lactation or any other aspect of boobery.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:45, archived)
Quite a lot of men have tits too
I have been to 'merica and some of them are of Diana Dors proportions in the boob region.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:29, archived)
there was a dead blue tit in my garden yesterday :(

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:44, archived)
There's a house near me that has one of those old fashioned stained glass windows in their front door
Depicting a lovely scene of two blue tits sharing a branch. One day I will be punched in the face by the man who lives there, after saying "Nice pair of tits!" to his wife.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:46, archived)
My cat killed a sparrow this weekend
Had the cunt 6 years, first time it's caught anything. I watched the feathery victim breathe its last and then chucked it in the bin. The wife was in hysterics.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:46, archived)
fucking cats should leave our feathered friends alone

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:51, archived)
^ Necrosmurfophiliac

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:46, archived)

phwoar, what a pairg
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:46, archived)
We should every night call ourselves to an account; What infirmity have I mastered today? What passions opposed? What temptation resisted? What virtue acquired? Our vices will abort of themselves if they be brought every day to the shrift.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:51, archived)
why would you resist temptations?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:53, archived)
Because you want to hold out for Diana Ross?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:00, archived)
Phwooar! Eh?
Phwooooar
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:54, archived)
*phwoar gesture*

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:19, archived)
Big fat sweaty smelly fannies

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:06, archived)
no need

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:19, archived)
Why do I keep hearing about Pepsi?
Have they upset someone?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:07, archived)
Yes, poor Shirley

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:11, archived)
First George, now this
sad toimes
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:12, archived)
someone needs to protect Andrew Ridgley 24/7 until Jan 1st 2018, we can't lose any more legends!!!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:26, archived)
Form a protective ring around Limahl!!!!!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:33, archived)
Guard Howard Jones with your very lives!!!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:35, archived)
Please don't call me shirley

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:13, archived)
Why not? It's your name.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:32, archived)
My mum was called Shirley,it's my daughter's middle name

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:55, archived)
Me mate.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:11, archived)
m8, I'm so sorry

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:12, archived)
I'll be alright I reckon. Just hard to take, you know.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:13, archived)
I understand
It's just going to take time. Remember that we all love you, and we're here for you.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)
I dunno but I'm sure as fuck not watching an advert to find out what the fuss is about.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:13, archived)
It's probably Ken Livingstone drinking Pepsi under the gates of Auschwitz or summat

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:14, archived)
Pepsi sets you free

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:18, archived)
lol

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:18, archived)
They upset Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:16, archived)
I can't wait until the muslims take over/communist uprising/nuclear war

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:18, archived)
Someone called Kendall has ended police brutality against black people with a can of sugary fizz.
Or so the news says.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:18, archived)
That sounds like a good thing!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:19, archived)
Whoever she is, she should be shilling for mint cake, not the soda industry.
That's probably what people are upset about.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:20, archived)
Danny?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:20, archived)
Grange Hill was rubbish.
Kids TV should be wall to wall cartoons - especially those that are really just adverts for plastic tat.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:23, archived)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=cDGlN6mluGA
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:46, archived)
They don't make 'em like that, anymore.
Well, they do, but I don't like them.

youtu.be/-fQGPZTECYs
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:03, archived)
Regular Show is clearly quite similar to it.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:12, archived)
Not seen it.
Can't be any worse than Spongebob, I s'pose.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:55, archived)
it's an exciting new cola drink to rival coke
shout about pepsi!
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:19, archived)
Meatloaf and his Fight Club moobs y/n?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:09, archived)
I would do anything for love
but I won't do that
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:20, archived)

i.imgur.com/qngw1uU.mp4
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:22, archived)
Nice to see manolith getting some fresh air and exercise.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:24, archived)
Fuck your tits.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:12, archived)
I don't have any tits

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:20, archived)
I want to rename the Ritz to the Titz

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:38, archived)
Titz crackers

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 11:39, archived)
I want to piss on your Ritz.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 12:04, archived)
morning

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:42, archived)
Wednesday sweet Wednesday
Morning
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:44, archived)
Cool

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:46, archived)
alright m

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:49, archived)
sweet b, you

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:53, archived)
solid

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:58, archived)
what's so special about it

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:52, archived)

youtu.be/bijzYshcBe0
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:56, archived)
good point, well made

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:58, archived)
Morningggnnnggnngnngghhhhh
Today I'm eating croissants in the office like some sort of smug bastard.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:56, archived)
I'm already seething at the ineptitude of the city bike infrastructure

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 7:58, archived)
Your nan's the city bike and I've had it infrastructure for a while.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:04, archived)
well I'll be calling the infoline about this, mark my words

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:11, archived)
Coo-er
*rubs thighs sensually*
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:22, archived)
Morns to all
Been seshing Ghost recently #shitmusicchat
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:12, archived)
I really like Ghost
planning to see them at the end of the month, but the only person interested in going with me is my wife's shit-talking alcoholic lecherous cousin
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:22, archived)

planning to see them at the end of the month, but the only person interested in going with me is my wife's shit-talking alcoholic lecherous cousin, it's my favourite film ever, for, you see, I am a colossal gaylord
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:38, archived)
that's not gay
this is gay
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:54, archived)
he's so dreamy

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:56, archived)
Went to see them last Friday in Manchester, they were brilliant, played pretty much everything and the stage show was great
Completely rekindled my interest in them. It's overplayed but Meliora is a great album
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:19, archived)
Meliora is what got me into them
and the follow-up EP is more of the same, which is fine by me
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)
Popestar? It took a couple of listens and someone pointing out that most of the songs were covers before I got into it tbh
Sounded very different to what I was used to, now Square Hammer is my current earworm. New album hopefully later this year, can't wait
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)
If you haven't checked them out, Leprous are a good followup if you've run out of Ghost
although it gets a bit screechy at times
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:18, archived)
I'll give them a listen, I'll probably like them as long as they aren't all out kvlt, that stuff's starting to get a bit samey

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)
Morning!
Send me, O Lord, on a mission!
Whenever, wherever it be,
In willing and loyal submission,
Ill answer, "Here, Lord, send me."
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:16, archived)
go to the shops, get me a double decker

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:22, archived)
^^^

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:29, archived)
Page 319 of The BDSM Hymnal

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:22, archived)
rid this world of non-believers

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:41, archived)
kill all the jews

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:53, archived)
He-llo baaaaaby

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:23, archived)
*shits self*

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:28, archived)
Man I fucking love the Big Bopper

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:39, archived)
lol
I was just about to post a countdown to you linking to that 45 released under his real name
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:40, archived)
It's excellent

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)
^

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)
Why, hello there!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:26, archived)
well I say!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:28, archived)
Ra-ther!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:38, archived)
yo, G

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:39, archived)
waddup money grip?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:41, archived)
time for a cup of tea, I think

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:43, archived)
I have woken up with a compulsion to acquire Feel the Force by G Force, and B-Boys Stye by Lil Jazzy Jay and Cool Supreme
The question is, is shelling out 80* quid on two bits of plastic 10 days before my wedding a good move?

*looks more like 100, shit
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)
I'm looking for people saying that it's fine and I should treat myself because you only live once, here

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:43, archived)
if she truly loves you, she will understand
plus, it's not like you're not marrying some minted bird
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:45, archived)
I think it's a testament to how strong our relationship is that I feel able to fritter away all our cash on vinyl and sports footwear

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)
with the price rising the way it seems to be, you'd be mad not to buy it now
it's practically an investment item
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:57, archived)
You know what, you are absolutely right

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)
I'm holding off, but I've grabbed a 45 of Humpty Dump by the Vibrettes instead

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:08, archived)
look deep inside your heart and there you will find the answer

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:44, archived)
So far as I can tell, you're not wanting for disposable income, so I don't see why you shouldn't buy them.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:46, archived)
She spent £300 on a dress for work a few weeks ago, that's just insane

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:48, archived)
dump her

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)
+ on

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:56, archived)
pots and pans

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)
Well, she can't very well turn up naked, can she?
Can she?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)
well no
her reaching that stage over the course of the song is the whole point of her job
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:07, archived)


(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)
Unless she does a Robbie Williams by starting off naked then peeling her skin and muscles off.
That's all of teh sexy.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:16, archived)

G Force The Real Thing
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:54, archived)
I don't know what that is, soz

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:56, archived)
no problem m8

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)
I've got Alice by full force , you can have that for 50p + pp

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:01, archived)
I have a massive soft spot for I Wonder if I Take You Home by Lisa Lisa feat Full Force
Nostalgia ahoy
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:10, archived)
Seeing "feat" in a song's credits always makes my skin crawl.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)
You won't get on with these chaps then
www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKyhUGto-TU
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:15, archived)
Well, at least it's being used as an actual word,
rather than "Shitty Dance Act feat Autotuned Vocalist".

Not sure whether I'd enjoy an album entitled "Dixie Chicken", but I'm not about to find out.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:21, archived)
Lowell George is rated as one of the best slide guitar players ever, along with Duane Allman
He also looked a great deal like Matt Berry
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:34, archived)
Might listen, later.
I'll probably forget, but thanks for the recommendation, anyway.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:36, archived)
It's fairly middle of the road 70s US rock, not bad though

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:43, archived)
Have you heard their live one - Waiting for Columbus?
It's great.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0WeIOxZdnw
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:12, archived)
Yup

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:37, archived)
let the feat hit em

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)
Ask yourself these questions
Do you really, really want it? Will you (or M'Ladies) have to go without something once you've paid for it? If your answer is Yes/No, then buy the fucker.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:38, archived)
I really do, and no, we're fine for money

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:41, archived)
there's your answer, m8

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:45, archived)
Radiant, sir
haha, like on 'Little Britain'!
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:40, archived)
^ is a laaaaaaydy

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:41, archived)
Lardy, more like.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)
Morning
Doctors are cunts
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:57, archived)
yes

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)
Did they amputate the wrong limb?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:02, archived)
yeah
if we didn't have doctors then people would die sooner and cripples would die at birth and then we wouldn't have 7billion+ people crammed on this planet and fewer immigrant nurses taking honest NHS jobs from the locals and Darwinism would sort out the rest. So really, doctors are the worst people on earth.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)
Morning.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:00, archived)
yeah, I already said that, fucks sake, pay attention

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)
No, you said "morning"

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:16, archived)
I don't need this attitude from you right now

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:44, archived)
Sorry to hear that.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:05, archived)
Morning, morning, Jameson here
was the introductory line of which BBC Radio 2 DJ of yore?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:03, archived)
Radio 2 is for old people who don't realise they're old yet.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:04, archived)
Mark Lamarr had a tolerable show on Radio 2.
I think they replaced him with Dermot O'Leary.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:08, archived)
I have no idea
I only listened to Derrick James when I was a kid because it was the only radio station my music center could pick up and those words "Morning, morning, Jameson here" would be about all I could handle before I got up and turned it off.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)
My parents seemed to only ever have Radio 2 on, when I was little,
although my dad would switch to Radio 1 on a Saturday to catch Adrian Juste.

Derek Jameson had a particularly horrible voice.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)
he had at least three good shows on radio 2
but that bellend O'Leary could never be considered any kind of replacement
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:13, archived)
he knows his onions

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:21, archived)
O'Leary seems to put a lot of effort into being as bland as humanly possible.
Like HeartFM made flesh.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:27, archived)
ugh commercial radio

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:08, archived)
I'll often have The Arrow on as background noise.
Yes it has a limited playlist, but the adverts seem to be less frequent than other stations (either that, or they're just shorter) and, crucially, it has no DJs - that makes a massive difference, in my opinion.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:13, archived)
6 music is alright until Radcliffe or Maconie turn up/

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)
Radio X appears to be a radio station made for James May's Hair/people that read loaded in the 90's.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:19, archived)
Yeah, his shake rattle and roll and reggae shows were great.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:13, archived)
rip desmond carrington :(

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:15, archived)
oh man I love perfect dark

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:00, archived)
Someone Jameson?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:15, archived)
He and Terry Wogan, the tiredest old farts ever to grease the public airways.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:23, archived)
Not my cup of tea, but at least Wogan seemed to be enjoying himself.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:28, archived)
He enjoyed the sound of his own voice immensely.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:47, archived)
knockers

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:36, archived)
knobs

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:39, archived)
tiwetyg

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)
bore dda

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:08, archived)
big wobbly ones or little pert ones?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:39, archived)
nah, knockers are big m8
always big
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:49, archived)
"you must be this buxom to enter"?

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:33, archived)
jubblies

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)
^tggi

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)
lies

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 9:57, archived)
look, I'm here to say 'knockers', not tell the truth

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:01, archived)
if knockers aren't the truth then I just want to be lied to

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:10, archived)
I know what you mean

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:12, archived)
Chapel hat pegs.

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:07, archived)
disgusting

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:13, archived)
On, I see.
Like that, is it?
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)
I'm afraid so

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:18, archived)
Right.
I'll get my coat, then.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:20, archived)
You won't need it, it's quite warm out today

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:26, archived)
bazongas

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:09, archived)
BOIIIIIIING!!!

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:13, archived)
this probably should have been a new thread

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:37, archived)
I agree

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:37, archived)
*PfffffFffffFffffFFFFFFtttt*
ERRR! RI-CHARRD!


Sorry about that guy's
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 20:47, archived)

if a richard mcbeefs on a board, and there is no one around to hear, does anybody give a shit?
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 21:04, archived)
Bock bock
Be-GAAAAAHK!
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 21:15, archived)
wow

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 21:34, archived)
I've just eaten dal b2b paneer and spinach curry.
I'll be able blow a dog off a chain tomorrow.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 21:56, archived)

off a chain
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 23:50, archived)
Famous supporters of zionism
you can't say hitler
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 0:31, archived)
Ken Livingstone

(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 8:49, archived)
Either I've got someone on Ignore, someone's got me on Ignore,
or this place is deader than disco. Which is it?
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 15:59, archived)
It was dying, then it died
now it's dead
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:01, archived)
watched the season finale of Walking Dead last night
Don't know why I fucking bother. I keep getting sucked back into the bloody thing, and it keeps letting me down. Don't think I'll bother with series 8*

*of course I will, I'm an idiot
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:03, archived)
I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:04, archived)
*checks clock*
liar
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:10, archived)
whist online
cardgames.io/whist/
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:13, archived)
bill is a fucking liability

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:19, archived)
*trumps*

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:19, archived)

back into the bloody thing, and it keeps letting me down. Don't think I'll bother with series 8* off by tramps round the back of the Pound Shop
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:21, archived)
which is how I got into the show in the first place
Franco watched series 1 through Dixon's window
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:22, archived)
Rumbelows 4 lyf m8

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:23, archived)
They used to have a Radio Rentals in Waterlooville
good toimes
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:24, archived)
My first long term girlfriend was from there.
Waterlooville, I mean, not Radio Rentals - although she must have been a bit 'radio rental' to go out with me!!!!
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:25, archived)
Haha, yes I know what you mean
Don't suppose you feel comfortable sharing her name? I might know her, meaning I might be able to confirm her radio-rentality.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:33, archived)
I'll gaz it to you

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:37, archived)
It was Viech Hess
She was a PAL
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:38, archived)
Bloody hell Gary.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:55, archived)
Fun?
she was a screen... a right laugh.
(, Wed 5 Apr 2017, 10:05, archived)
probably shouldn't have posted eye arr ell info here sol delolted

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:53, archived)
eye arr ell to you and all

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:57, archived)
yeah I'm not so bright sometimes

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 17:05, archived)
I miss it every year :(
/ac
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 17:47, archived)
I've got you babe

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:03, archived)
It's not dead
it just smells funny
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:05, archived)
Yeah sorry, Not posted in a few days.
Couldn't be arsed, tbh.

What about all that Easter Egg bollocks, eh?!
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:05, archived)
the brexit justification panic is starting to set it
they've got to start blaming someone. You wait, we'll see a return of the "illegal to fly a st george's cross" stories
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:10, archived)
I reckon they'll eventually resort to blaming remain for not putting up a stronger argument.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:21, archived)
without doubt

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:23, archived)
EastEggders
duff duff duff duff duff dududuhh
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:10, archived)
I like how Theresa May waded in...
Like, shouldn't you be sorting the fucking country out.

Eggs have fuck all to do with Jesus.
The picture in question even had the word EASTER written on the poster, if you zoomed out?!
Madness
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:45, archived)
The Specials

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:49, archived)
Glory to the Goddess Eastre.
The National Trust is a front for a secret cabal of witches.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:53, archived)
They should do another one at Halloween then.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 17:18, archived)
Halloween is too commercialised.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 17:33, archived)
I've got you on ignore

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:20, archived)

ignore speed-dial, under "massive spastic gaylord knoblet"
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:21, archived)
*nods*

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 16:23, archived)
corpse city, m8

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 17:02, archived)
*yawn*
Might go home.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 17:08, archived)
i want to, but i'm waiting on a smoke

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 17:14, archived)
I have you on ignore

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 18:04, archived)
If I could see this, I'd be quite upset.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 18:38, archived)
Me too

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 19:12, archived)
No more Butchie, no more of this

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 18:46, archived)
got lent?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:10, archived)
thank goodness for gosport99 for setting the record straight
www.portsmouth.co.uk/news/watch-grieving-mother-says-robin-at-son-s-graveside-is-sign-he-s-still-with-her-1-7898983
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:11, archived)
If there's something that really helps with the grieving process
it's being shown the facts behind your coping process
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:13, archived)
No comments showing for me

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:16, archived)
Just some friendly user pointing out that it was just a robin, and nothing more

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:17, archived)
He's right. You need a Raven to signify something for ever more.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:19, archived)
Ostrich for me

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:41, archived)
I would be unsatisifed with anything other than a fine pair of fighting
cocks at my graveside with which to communicate from beyond death.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:48, archived)
I can understand that

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:55, archived)
How do they know, god moves in mysterious ways , perhaps it was sent to comfort her

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:22, archived)
my grandmother always reckoned that after my grandfather died there was always the same fly buzzing around the house annoying her
really makes you think
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:16, archived)
now that is spooky

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:18, archived)
She really should have buried him

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:23, archived)
he was dead for ages before anyone noticed
he'd looked that way for quite a while before it finally happened
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:26, archived)
What I find most baffling is why someone's dying wish would be to meet Gary Barlow.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:17, archived)
Exactly
I mean, Robbie surely
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:18, archived)
he's so generic; he's perfect

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:41, archived)
I'm not saying that the mum took advantage of her son's condition as a chance to meet Gary Barlow,
but I've no evidence to prove otherwise.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:44, archived)
Not clicking that, probably superstitious idiots

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:19, archived)
Not for long, nearly Maundy Thursday

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:13, archived)
Maundy, Maundy
so good to-oo me
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:14, archived)
That $$ what a card hey!

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:13, archived)
hahaha yeah

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:43, archived)
Easter is a great time for some out of bounds eats on Triple D

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:20, archived)
What's shrimp parm like?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:24, archived)
Off the hook!

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)
Oh
www.b3ta.com/talk/8063026
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:29, archived)
Why must you make every thread about food?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:32, archived)
Chocolate eggs with just the right amount of seasoning

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)
I got lentils.
Does that count?
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:25, archived)
I had dal for tea last night seeing as it's relevant.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:27, archived)
Me too, woah

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:28, archived)
I was going to do a sag paneer to go with it but I autopiloted from the supermarket without going to the spice shop and getting paneer.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:36, archived)
Alright Neil

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)
bottom get

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)
?
www.imdb.com/list/ls074271187?ref_=nm_rls_3
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:52, archived)
best list ever

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:53, archived)
What is going on in your life
that leads you to think "do you know what IMDB is missing?" then spending your time on creating that list
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:55, archived)
i did think the other day, "Has Robin Tunney ever cut herself in a movie?"
and now with that list I can confirm
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:57, archived)
lol
www.imdb.com/title/tt0119416/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_30
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:58, archived)
skiddy to his mates

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:59, archived)
Hahaha

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 15:27, archived)
more giddy in my desires than a monkey

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 14:21, archived)
it's not a competition, m8

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 14:37, archived)
Just tell me where I jizz so I can give this lady her drink.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 14:46, archived)
good heavens

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 14:52, archived)
I might give up.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 14:52, archived)
I'll join you

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 14:54, archived)
Kate Bush and Peter Gabrielzzzzzz

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 14:54, archived)
Alright wp. Seen there's a new episode of Rick and Morty out?
It's quite good.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 15:26, archived)
I'm relying on Netflix to notify me when they have a new episode ready.
R&M was sufficiently brief that I could watch an episode or two of an evening without falling asleep - as good as something like The Expanse is, I've found myself dozing off whilst watching it.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 15:50, archived)
I've been rewatching the early always sunny's. Also I downloaded Nighty Night.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 18:19, archived)
No, soz. Cadbury's cancelled it.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 15:01, archived)
get bent

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:08, archived)
validating this thread

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:09, archived)
nice that it hasn't gone to waste

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:18, archived)

We set up the talk board so people have a place to talk about whatever they like and not worry about intolerant people shouting silly things like, "THREADWASTE" at them.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:24, archived)
get bent

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:07, archived)
get bent

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:07, archived)
so bent they named it twice!

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:08, archived)
Elevenses thread.
I ate mine at half nine.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:56, archived)
I'm having a(nother) cup of black coffee
for all the fat nerds on the internet stereotypes, I'm actually trying to go on a diet :(
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:57, archived)
Replace your desk with a treadmill,
burn calories as you work.

I jest, but "standing desks" were put forward as a serious suggesting in my office.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:00, archived)
my mate bought his own motorized standing desk
for painting warhammer figurines :(
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:03, archived)

i.imgur.com/blcSdEo.gifv
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:05, archived)
that's well trippy

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:06, archived)
everyone here sits on those yoga ball things
not really, i'm not actually in hell
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:07, archived)
we had one prick in the newsroom who insisted on using one of those
he was also the sort of cunt to put all his academic creditials as part of his name, BA Hons MA MBA CFA
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:10, archived)
BA Hons MA MBA CFA, fire making badge, 2 lengths of the big pool (pyjamas)

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:11, archived)
2 lengths?
fuck off godby
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:43, archived)
BSc for Bronze Swimming certificate

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:38, archived)
A lot of the people I work with insist on prefixing their names with "Dr."
Probably on account of them being actual doctors.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:26, archived)
lol, I remember the first time I emailed my advisor at university.
I wrote it as a proper letter with 'Dear Dr xxx' etc. I got the reply back:


Yeah, just pop in any time tomorrow.

Cheers,
Dave

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:30, archived)
Heh!
I'm never sure quite how formal to be, so I tend to wait until I've seen their email signature.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:31, archived)

email signature genitals
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:54, archived)
My doctor's seen my knob, but I've never seen his.
Makes you think, huh?
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:08, archived)
Yes, especially since you went in there complaining about tonsillitis.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)
"Start at the bottom and work your way up" is what they're taught in medical school.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:15, archived)
Sounds a bit unhygienic.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:23, archived)
Good lob rate, etc

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:07, archived)
credentials like that don't bother me any more
I've worked with plenty of academic doctors and the conclusion I've drawn is that they've got expert knowledge of a niche area as a tradeoff for any social skills or common sense.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:38, archived)
I meant actual doctors.
Apart from those with an axe to grind, they're all perfectly pleasant, but it makes me cringe if I ever get any positive feedback from them, what with me being some dipshit with a spreadsheet, and them doing the frontline NHS lifesaving sort of work.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:41, archived)
don't be intimidated, mm
have YOU ever given anyone MRSA?
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:42, archived)
No, but I did find that if I walk round a hospital in shirt and tie, wearing an id badge,
people will assume I'm a doctor.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:45, archived)
That's how 2can got started

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:50, archived)

That's how
got
t
h
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:53, archived)

h qu
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:56, archived)
my co-op card says i'm a wing commander so i might put that on my email signature

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:47, archived)

ing command ank
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:58, archived)
Is it in his eyes?
oh no that's not the way, you're not listening to all I say
If you think a fella
is a wanker
it's on his card
His co-op card.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:06, archived)
This could turn the company around

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)

my co-op card everyone
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:07, archived)
I did consider that, but then couldn't be bothered
anyway, I'm not sure everyone does.
Fucksocks has always seemed pretty keen on you
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:12, archived)
yeah, i assume it's him that keeps calling me and breathing heavily down the phone

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:26, archived)

commander show host
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:10, archived)
still no word back from BBC 3 about this idea?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:13, archived)
they liked the idea so much that they shut down the channel, it seems

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:26, archived)
#hardbrexit

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:35, archived)
hard? it's like a flagpole

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:40, archived)
Stuck out in the front garden, to the dismay of the neighbours?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:43, archived)
there's a place on my walk to work that has a battered 'rizla' flag on a pole outside

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:53, archived)
I used to have a blue rizla mug with the logo in gold leaf but my old man dropped it.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:55, archived)
what else did you used to have?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:01, archived)
Surprised it hasn't blown away.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:00, archived)
There was a misunderstanding with the budget
I blew it all on catering :(
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 13:05, archived)
I'm not sure I trust anyone who given the option of sitting, would prefer to stand.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:29, archived)
I get up and go for wander
none of this chained to the desk bollocks
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:36, archived)

der k in the bogs.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:48, archived)

blackblack
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:29, archived)
Unmarked helicopters?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:33, archived)
That was supposed to say pact but there was a medical emergency so I didn't have time to type it properly

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:58, archived)
Never had elevenses and I ain't starting now

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:58, archived)
mm we got some potato salad and coleslaw left in the fridge that isn't gonna eat itself

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:02, archived)
ok i ate both of those things now what

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:29, archived)
>GO NORTH_

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:30, archived)
I don't really eat snacks

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:05, archived)
what do you do? poke 'em up yer bum???
lolol
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:06, archived)
^ mods

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:07, archived)
This is cyberbullying

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:08, archived)
he arranges them in miscellaneous items
#wewantplates
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:08, archived)
"A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips" is as good a mantra as any, I suppose.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:07, archived)
amen

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:35, archived)
you fat mess

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:07, archived)
+iah

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:08, archived)
TIWEHY

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:09, archived)
Bit petty.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:13, archived)
one of the reasons, then

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:07, archived)
Better.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:09, archived)
I had a couple of mystery chewy Swiss biscuits about an hour ago.
Overall 7/10, or 9/10 if you enjoy the sensation of your teeth dissolving.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:09, archived)
I'm going to reserve judgement until after mongy has commented.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 11:29, archived)
Shut up you fucking twat
there
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:52, archived)
Morning the /talk

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 7:20, archived)
Unconventional

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 7:33, archived)
Drimbles
Thought I'd kick things off
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:00, archived)
morning deputy

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 7:47, archived)
*taps hat brim*
Ma'am
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:00, archived)
M'lady

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:10, archived)
Morning beefy

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:20, archived)
greetings and salutations

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:24, archived)
Hiho DoppelDolla

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)
Mr Bob DoppelDolla?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:27, archived)
Francis Ford DoppelDolla?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:33, archived)
Nicholas Coige.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:07, archived)
'reet.
tips cap
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:25, archived)
*gets the vapors*

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)
fuck knows what went on here
www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/15200711.Thug_stabs_man_in_the_leg_after_being_driven_from_one_pub_fight_to_another/
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:32, archived)
It's like a pub crawl, except with fights instead of pints.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:33, archived)
Brawl crawl

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:53, archived)
"Every Friday night in Croydon"

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:55, archived)
americans do it in the autumn
the fall brawl crawl
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:12, archived)
Harl narl, brawl crawl?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:16, archived)
mental

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:42, archived)
Lol

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:15, archived)
Such nice looking young men too...

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:55, archived)
It's time to play the music
It's time to light the lights
It's time to say 'morning' on the H.B.Mupps Show tonight
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:43, archived)
Not bad.
I was going to go with "Do you know the Muppsin Man?", but didn't.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:49, archived)
The Muppsin Man?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)
Moning tangles
Sesame Street was well gay jussayin
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:05, archived)
Alright.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:49, archived)
^ treacle sponge

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:56, archived)
^ tart

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:58, archived)
Morning MoMu
Almost hump day eh?
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:14, archived)
I'm so glad I took to putting my bimonthly conjugal activities on /calendar.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:27, archived)
good morning mr mupps

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:53, archived)
Top of the mornin' to ye, manoglif!

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:16, archived)
I've had a headache for more than 24 hours now
It's probably a toomah
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:57, archived)
you're probably experiencing gayness

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 8:59, archived)
My loafers do seem a little lighter

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:00, archived)
Have you tried taking it out of the fridge for longer than 15 minutes at a time

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:01, archived)
leave me alone, I'm not well

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:11, archived)
I am sorey for you're lots

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:06, archived)
thunks

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:11, archived)
could you boil your head?
i've heard that suggested to people in the past
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)
I've got a pot big enough
but I'd have to do a handstand on the hob, and that's just not safe.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:18, archived)
if you tried to do it on a wall of death the centripetal force would keep your head in there

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:39, archived)
finally, a practical solution

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:40, archived)
practically, a final solution

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:49, archived)
Alright, "Red" Ken.

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:50, archived)
^ petalphile

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:41, archived)
so he's doing a handstand on a motorcycle in a metal drum?
that sounds less safe, if anything
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:53, archived)
it'd look cool though, wouldn't it

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:56, archived)
no doubt
but i think we may have lost sight of why we're doing this
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:02, archived)
I might not have used the right name
What's that fairground ride where they strap you inside a giant rotating drum?
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:11, archived)
there was one where they didn't strap you in that was a drum, when it got up to speed the floor retracted away and all you could see were the big gears at the bottom, that was great, probably banned now

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:14, archived)
RIP Bemboms :(

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:23, archived)
was that at bemboms? i couldn't remember, thought it might have been some pikey fair

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:24, archived)
they swapped and changed all sorts of stuff there
The Looping Star, that bit rotating planet with the swinging chairs, the Big Wheel; 5 quid ticket to ride all night, good times.
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:29, archived)
usually some variation on cyclone or twister or w/e
this is a wall (ball actually) of death
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:15, archived)
lol, "ball"

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:36, archived)
dragonite caught, get in, and it simply amazes

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:51, archived)
fuuuuuck
caught as in you just saw one out and about? either way, nice one
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:01, archived)
Yeah caught it by my house , still took 10 throws , ain't seen a special magicarp yet , don't want to upgrade to i do

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:05, archived)
I got mine via buddy, took fucking ages

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:09, archived)
i'm close to getting a charizard, then i'll start using dragonair as a buddy

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:11, archived)
i got a charmeleon the other day, what does he turn into?

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:15, archived)
'zard

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:16, archived)
oh i might buddy him then

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:17, archived)
that's what i've been doing
up to about 111 candy. need to get 125 if i want a decent one though
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:22, archived)
that's how i got enough magicarp candy, but im holding out for a red one, saw one in a gym so it does happen

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:28, archived)
DIAGNOSIS: PMS
You're welcome
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 12:00, archived)
Mohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:09, archived)
liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:22, archived)
morning guv

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:24, archived)
Tugs at long-gone forelock

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 9:54, archived)
strikey-g skin

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:04, archived)
Happy Peace Day to our Angolan forum members

(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 10:56, archived)
last

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:33, archived)
Juicer time

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:37, archived)
nice
get us one in, cheers
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:39, archived)
I'll leave it in the wood for you

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:41, archived)
bless you

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:46, archived)
I'm off down Leadenhall in a bit, couple of low key lagers on the way home

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:48, archived)
i heard the gherkin had a bit of a fire earlier

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:51, archived)
oh aye?
My missus's bank is fairly regularly evacuated due to some nonsense or other
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:58, archived)
don't be silly, gherkins are too damp to burn

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:25, archived)
haha i suppose you could say they were in a bit of a pickle

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 21:33, archived)
probably just a friction burn
ifyouknowwhatimean
(, Tue 4 Apr 2017, 6:41, archived)
James Last
do enjoy my arrangements of popular songs performed by exceptionally talented session musicians in the throes of torture as they render music a dead thing.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:42, archived)
woah

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:47, archived)
James Last covered Silver Machine by Hawkwind
I have Tangles to thank for this fucking weird fact
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:49, archived)
I have the record
it's phenomenal. As is his epic "All Hands On Deck*"
www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H0r6Su9M3s

It's amazing how much good music there is out there once you reject preconceptions of taste and quality...

*Edit - if you like Herb Alpert-style brass...
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:51, archived)
Being a break beat collector has taught me that you can find gold in the strangest places
For example 'Rock Music' by the monumentally awful Jefferson Starship contains one of the greatest beats of all time.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:53, archived)
There's some awesome Geoff Love
beats that I've meant to rip off for ages...
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:55, archived)
really? I don't know him
Last week's break acquisition was the superb Happy Soul with a Hook by Dave Cortez and Moon People:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Uh-SoxHQc4

Superb stuff, I'll be dropping that one at my wedding
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:00, archived)
for you:
www.b3ta.com/calendar/event/26252
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:16, archived)
I can't go Incase mortal wombat turns up, he's going to use my face to decorate or saink

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:28, archived)
he's probably dead now

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:30, archived)
And yet he was still much more likable than fucksocks

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:32, archived)
OMG

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:40, archived)
Fuck fuck fuck that's really familiar, who sampled that up... from a different arrangement?
Also, here is Geoff Love doing Batman: www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCxAM1Qd5jM

Edit - found it, that was sampled in Christina Aguilera's Ain't No Other Man.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 22:19, archived)
I'm enjoing his Tiger Feet/Radar Love/Jesus Loves you medly
RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:54, archived)
penultimate

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:49, archived)

ltimate s and helmit
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:50, archived)
maybe

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:54, archived)
Of the (famous) international playboys

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:49, archived)
Reggie Kray - do you know my name?
Oh, don't say you don't
Please say you do,
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:55, archived)
nice guys finish

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:49, archived)
between the butt cheeks

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:55, archived)
alright 'trent reznor'

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 16:57, archived)
great body for a man in his fifties
jus sayin
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:05, archived)
DOLLARS FANCIES DRIM-BLE, DOLLARS FANCIES DRIM-BLE

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:15, archived)
Don't ruin this for me

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 17:16, archived)
Certainly looks like it.

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 21:11, archived)
I beg to differ

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 22:52, archived)
I had the tyres swapped on two cars before clocking in to work at 9am
How have you been more productive than you really ought to be recently?
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 12:56, archived)
I've not.
I had a lie in and had to rush to get a fry-up before they went off the menu at midday.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 12:58, archived)
Gathering evidence against my Samsung TV to show a repairman who' coming round tomorrow
As the fault can't be reproduced unless the TV is inactive for 5/6 hours. Got you bang to rights sunshine.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:05, archived)
I hope it's not full of lizards.
youtu.be/jrANdklh5vw
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:07, archived)
"Who's your manager?"
"Mr Lizard"
Kevin Eldon is brilliant.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:08, archived)
Yep, although the deranged look on Mark Heaps face as he says lizard steals it for me.

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:09, archived)
I think my absolute favorite jam sketch is 'thick people'.
Julia Davis manages to nail the 'dead behind the eyes' look.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:24, archived)
^

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:47, archived)
and shes fit too!
phwoar! and a little wahey!
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:49, archived)
Careful mate, think of the lady boarders.

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:55, archived)
Oh, I will. I will indeed...

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:59, archived)
What's it doing?
*Mix of professional curiousity and work boredom
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:21, archived)
It is a two part problem, one, when it turns on it doesn't display the Channel/input it was last on just a black screen, two, the TV alarm doesn't work
They are linked, and I've gone through multiple setups testing what it could be.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:28, archived)
Sounds like a software bug rather than a physical problem.

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:29, archived)
Enjoy your new mainboard.

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:31, archived)
Excellent, something fixable
Something external like an always on Chromecast wouldn't cause fuckups like this? I'm ready to battle the point that it shouldn't. Ever.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:41, archived)
Could well be something software based. The engineer won't care.
If they're sending somebody out, they're going to either update the firmware, or replace the mainboard and update the firmware.

Edit: But not something external like a Chromecast, no.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:52, archived)
I have quite a productive cough in the mornings

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:14, archived)
Cough in the morning- cancer is calling, coughing at night you'll be alright , hth

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:33, archived)
I'll have to remember that one mongy, thanks

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:34, archived)
I'll add it to 'a bum-fingering in time saves 9'

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:35, archived)
they looked
it ain't cancer
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:07, archived)
although I'm not entirely sure how a finger up the bum could establish that

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:07, archived)
A finger up the bum is worth 2 in the throat

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:08, archived)
The cancer is always in the last place you look.

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:07, archived)
early signs of asbestosis probably

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:11, archived)
mesothelioma can be a really tricky one to diagnose

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:14, archived)
an ex-colleagues husband went with that
they checked his former employers against a list and there was instant compensation, so at least there were a few drinks behind the bar at the funeral and she got new curtains
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:28, archived)
DIAGNOSIS: Bronchiectasis
You're welcome
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:16, archived)
hey, he's probably not wrong for once

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:26, archived)
Hey, I diagnosed Spanishfly's AIDS didn't I?

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:44, archived)
dunno
haven't seen any of his posts for a while now
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:47, archived)
Ah, well you're not missing much, they're basically just him whinging about having AIDS and saying how he should never have paid to get bummed off all them african rent boys.

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:02, archived)
Oh, he's just posted at the bottom of this very thread. He's saying he's become an alcoholic

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:05, archived)
not sure

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 13:38, archived)
I fucked all of the forums nans before 9am.

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:15, archived)
Hmm
Is this you?
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:29, archived)
prick / wanker

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:45, archived)
not mine
unless you wanked yourself off in the North Sea.

In that case, well played.
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:38, archived)
how did you get all that ash from under your foreskin?

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:22, archived)
too soon m8

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:40, archived)
yeah, i suppose so
he'll be digging that stuff out for hours yet
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:43, archived)
I might have some alcohol

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 14:55, archived)
i have been doing stuff
when i was asleep that i shouldn't be doing. that's more productive, i suppose
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:19, archived)
Huh?

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:29, archived)
sleepwalking
and sleep injuring
(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:31, archived)
Noice

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:32, archived)
leg's slightly fucked up

(, Mon 3 Apr 2017, 15:39, archived)

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