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# I only just took the most epic dump ever
I had to flush three times and it still tried to crawl over the ledge.

I feel three years younger and two kilos lighter now.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:43, archived)
# I'm still hanging on and having another strong coffee
I'm looking forward to a last minute panic and a sense of relief like I've just come up on ecstasy

also - do you have a Dutch 'inspection toilet' or a proper normal British one?
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:47, archived)
# A Dutch one.
What do you think I am?
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:57, archived)
# Fun fact of the day
The inspection bit is called a spiegel (or mirror) here. I believe psychologists can have a field day with that.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:58, archived)
# WHY FOR GODS SAKE!
www.poopreport.com/BMnewswire/564.html
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:09, archived)
# I think the main reason is to prevent splashing

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:13, archived)
# eurgh!
(I helped save b3ta! Griffin Saver Something, something, 2006, something., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 10:58, archived)
# I didn't realise the Dutch were that fond of pork.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:01, archived)