Bring it back.
Cricket is ace.
Now, hold this bat and defend yourself - and your stumps - while I throw this ball at you at roughly 100mph.
You'll work out where it's heading about 10 milliseconds before it shatters your ribs.
Or skull.
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:37,
archived)
Now, hold this bat and defend yourself - and your stumps - while I throw this ball at you at roughly 100mph.
You'll work out where it's heading about 10 milliseconds before it shatters your ribs.
Or skull.
This'll never work they always work out the amazing speed of tennis balls being shot at and the speed of some footballer's kick.
All irrelevant.
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:45,
archived)
And then clap quietly as the old people piss themselves
As one man bowls but no one gives a toss.
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:43,
archived)
This is the other side of cricket, equally ace.
Stroll down to the ground on a Sunday, read the paper while nibbling on a variety of cheeses, cold meats, pickles etc, get slowly rat-arsed and occasionally contribute to a ripple of applause.
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:53,
archived)
Well I'm not really too bitter. Though I was scarred as a lad by an old sod yelling at me for talking during one dull game at Headingley.
Rat-arsed is rat-arsed though I wouldn't mind that.
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:59,
archived)
I feel your pain.
I was at a Warwickshire game roughly 20 years ago,
and a bucket came round. They were making a collection for Gladstone Small, who was retiring at the end of the season.
I said - too loudly - "What? Are they gonna buy him a neck?"
I was dead pleased with myself for half a second, until the chorus of tutting old men started up...
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:07,
archived)
and a bucket came round. They were making a collection for Gladstone Small, who was retiring at the end of the season.
I said - too loudly - "What? Are they gonna buy him a neck?"
I was dead pleased with myself for half a second, until the chorus of tutting old men started up...
I had to search but arf!
I can only say I haven't really bothered with sport really. Cricket especially. The one game I went to never grabbed me but I suppose booze would make it miles better.
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:59,
archived)
There's no pressure to actually watch the game.
Just get slowly trollied while pretending to do the crossword or something.
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 20:04,
archived)
You left out 'Stand around kicking your feet for 10 hours like a nonce'
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 18:56,
archived)
Well, you bring a book, obviously.
Behaving like a nonce is your own business.
( ,
Sat 15 Jan 2011, 19:01,
archived)