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# I made this as a chemistry in-joke:


(de-ris: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prussian_blue)

My arsehole minion decided to show me up when a highly-distinguished professor came to visit the lab by telling 'oh, you should see the Prussian blue animation CB has made.'
A killing glare and a reluctant showing showing later, the prof straightens up and say 'Well, I wasn't expecting that. Have you seen the video of Hitler ranting about the third reviewer?'
We then took him out for dinner - he drank most of the group under the table and bought us drinks all night.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:27, archived)
# Put laxitives in the minion's coffee
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:29, archived)
# We do have an industrial-sized pot of picolinium sulphate.
He'd turn inside out if I put even the tip of a teaspoons-worth in his tea.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:30, archived)
# It's thinking like that which will get you to the very top!
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:31, archived)
# The thing is,
Minion and the Prof. hit it off through some highly-charged banter. Minion is a Masters student and told the Prof. "You're lucky I wasn't born twenty years later or I'd have published all of your work."
"Ah," exclaims the Prof. "My career is simply to make your life harder."
"Yeah, you've got a couple of JACS (very high-quality journal), but fuck you, Jeff."
The Prof. then gave minion his platinum card to buy us all a round of tequila with.
I like science a lot more than I did a few weeks ago.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:35, archived)
# Well its quite clear you need to get shot of the minion
before he gets any more powerful and makes more friends.*

* All my advice is couched in the knowledge that I assume academia is run under the same basic rules of succession as Ancient Rome.
(I helped save b3ta! Prequal This is serious business. Very serious., Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:42, archived)
# I'm thoroughly confused by the "twenty years later" remark.
The minion is twenty years too old to publish the professor's work? Also, is publishing somebody else's work harmful to them somehow? I think I'll just have to accept this as valid banter without understanding it.
(_Felix 's school of dance and occult sciences, Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:53, archived)
# Ah.
"earlier" is what I meant to write, but I'm sleep-addled. Seeing as I got 12 hours in bed last night/this morning, it seems surprising.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:54, archived)
# I do like that the musical duo of that name have since renounced their right-wing ways
Now that they got to grow up and learn about the world.
(I helped save b3ta! Tribs 🦇 ↓ dn ʎɐʍ sᴉɥʇ ↓🦇, Sat 23 Jul 2011, 11:30, archived)