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Home » Messageboard » Invent a new children's TV show » Message 10514077 (Thread)

[challenge entry] Hmm... Smack-anory?
EDIT: Hull inbound.




From the Invent a new children's TV show challenge. See all 159 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 15:56, archived)
# Ah I thought that was a revamp of Balamory - but I think it's suppose to be Jackanory, right?
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:15, archived)
# Yeah it's meant to be a take on this;
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d0/Jackanory-1960s.jpg

Also, that is utterly disturbing, even to me. XD
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:19, archived)
# My image disturbs you?
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:24, archived)
# Yes... well, the Wicker Man does anyway
which is surprising considering it's an island full of furries.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:26, archived)
# When I first watched it I was mildly dissappointed
expecting a good horror movie with plenty of blood and gore but the more I thought about the film the more disturbing the premise was.

There had never been a film quite like it where the main protagonist is not spared or saved at the end of the day which is a very unsettling a thought when you have come to almost sympathise with Edward Woodward's character, even if he is a bit ultra-orthodox in his Christian beliefs and judgemental of those of who appears to hold innoncent pagan beliefs.

He seems very much like a fly caught in a spider's web and the film just never lets go of that claustrophobic feeling - utterly brilliant film.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:33, archived)
# ^This all over.
The festival-like style of the Pagan (or Wiccan?) rituals, on the surface, seem whimsical and joyous, but in the context of the story, it is really quite terrifying, even with Christopher Lee in a wig.
I personally am not religious, but when the main protagonist of the movie is, you expect them to get through this, maybe learn a few lessons along the way, so the ending came as quite a surprise.

And the remake? Yeah, we don't talk about the remake. :P
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:39, archived)
# "Not the bees, not the bees!"
"How'd it get burnt! how'd it get burnt! how'd it get burnt!"
and who can forget the classic "Step away from the bicycle!"

hahahahaha!

what a travesty, suddenly Summerisle is off the coast of America and is a Matriarchal society of indeterminate religion based on Bee Farming - get the feeling the Director hated women and bees.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:45, archived)
# How can anyone hate bees?
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:47, archived)
# Bee Haters can
Haters bee Hatin', Dog! ;)
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:54, archived)
# Time to get me some honeyz.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 17:02, archived)
# And humanity for that matter.
I compare that film to The Happening; a film which purports itself to be a horror, yet is way too funny to invoke any fear.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:51, archived)
# Now if it wasn't for the continuous and hilarious suicides (the man on the lawnmower for one) in that film it would have a been a masterpiece
of Hitchcock measure. The premise of the film is sound and I'm not going to go into it as it would be a spoiler for anybody else who hasn't seen it yet.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 16:57, archived)
# Granted, the concept could have been stretched and it could have been a rather clever film.
But as it stands, with the hokey acting and, as you say, the unconventional suicides, it's just a laughable film.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 17:14, archived)
# That's M. Night Shyamalan for you lots of hokey acting
and overdone sentiments if it wasn't for the hilarious suicides you'd want to commit suicide yourself it was so gloomy.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 17:25, archived)
# Let's not forget Mark Wahlberg's performance.
I don't mind him as an actor, but wow...

It's like he TRIED to be as hammy and pathetic as humanly possible.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 17:30, archived)
# I liked Mark Wahlberg in The Bourne Identity
but as you say he came across as being overly sentimental and hammy maybe that was just the nature and direction of the film maybe he believed in the film so much he just slept-walked his way through it but that's the feeling I get from a lot of M. Night Shyamalan's films like The Village it was like they were all taking mogadon.
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 17:37, archived)
# Yeah, he's alright in a few films.
To be quite fair though, everyone in that movie seemed half-asleep for the most part. Maybe it was what Shyamalan intended, although part of me puts it down to a poorly written script and shoddy direction.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 17:46, archived)
# Just like Signs a great premise poorly realised
and often laughable I know it was meant to be deeply serious but the fact that Mel Gibson's wife was pinned against a tree by a 4x4 I just couldn't take it seriously. "Swing high, swing high!"
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 18:05, archived)
# Oh yeah, that was ridiculous.
M. Night seems to really scrape the bottom of the barrel for his plot twists sometimes; I quite liked The Sixth Sense because the realization was always there, just not very evident. The twist in Signs was just way too far fetched for my liking.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 18:08, archived)
# Yeah Aliens who have mastered travelling vast distances in Space
and all the intrinsic problems inherent with that: distance, technology, extreme temperatures, space debris travelling at massive speeds that could rip a SpaceCraft apart and what are they defeated by? A fucking wooden door and a Baseball Bat!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 18:23, archived)
# Oh, and random glasses of water.
Like, if that girl knew that would come in handy, how would have she known before the news reports that a seemingly superior race to our own can be defeated by Evian?
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 18:27, archived)
# Yes because as most scientists agree that H2O is one of the prerequisites to organic life in the universe
it goes without saying that our obviously humanoid alien overlords would find that water is like acid to them! And even if you could find a reason why this would be the case you're left with the question why are trying to conquer a planet made up mostly of water and where it actually falls from the skies - God help their Manchester ground support team!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 19:00, archived)
# They are one of the most illogical creatures in cinema.
There isn't a single lifeform on the planet that doesn't consist of at least the base elements of water. I reckon M Night must have wrote the characteristics of these aliens after watching The Wizard of Oz.

And that is a very valid point; WHY are the aliens invading this planet of all planets? If it's for resources, I'm sure there's other planets out there that handle that quota just as well.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 19:13, archived)
# One particularly where there isn't so many precariously placed glasses of water, wooden doors
and baseball bats
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 19:25, archived)
# You think that'd come up in briefing.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 19:30, archived)
# And they call themselves a superior species - not even a board meeting!
(I helped save b3ta! maiden is filmed before a live studio audience, Sat 20 Aug 2011, 19:32, archived)