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# explain the parable to us
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:34, archived)
# let the collective ass of b3ta explain it.
and lo, one day there was a small boy.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:38, archived)
# and meme picture begat meme picture
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:41, archived)
# meme picture is what separates humans and robots from animals and robot animals
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:49, archived)
# It's the reason Christians can eat shrimp and wear clothes made of two different fabrics
When Jesus ate his food with shitty hands, he was illustrating that they didn't have to follow the rules of Leviticus any more*, even those that may seem sensible, like washing your hands before you eat. He said it doesn't matter what you put in your mouth, because it will be "purified" by the stomach. This from someone whose dad invented germs and disease.

*except, apparently, the one about gayness
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:39, archived)
# thus demonstrating
that he was just making up that shit as he was going along :)

oh wait...
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:40, archived)
# No, seriously, I base my life on the example of the man who ate his food with shitty hands
If Jesus said it's fine it must be fine
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:43, archived)
# he did have a beard
so he was probably right.
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:44, archived)
# I shall try
Faith is exempt from standards of hygiene, other than mysticism such as Halal, kashrut , or any other such spiritual bollocks

And why is hygiene necessary in the first place? Surely God is cool in the first place
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:41, archived)
# this makes me think that god is an extreme performance artist
who walks around naked covered in his own shit smiting stuff at random because HE FUCKING CAN
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:42, archived)
# HE FUCKING CAN
HE CREATED THE FUCKING COSMOS MAN, this is a guy who has cheated death

Quite possibly because he created it
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:46, archived)
# that's just being BADASS innit
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Thu 13 Oct 2011, 21:48, archived)