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[challenge entry] so i hear you're about to inherit a monarchy...

From the New Public Information challenge. See all 42 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 20:22, archived)
# They tuck you in, your mum and dad
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 20:38, archived)
# lay you down send you to sleep and pray the lord your soul to keep
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 20:42, archived)
# I knew it was Phillip Larkin but that’s about it. So I looked him up and ended up reading some cleverly-written, grim poetry.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 21:01, archived)
# this is the only one i know - it's a very flimsy joke and not very funny really
about the the royal family and public service broadcasts. i'm not sure it really works to be honest.
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 21:07, archived)
# It’s text on a scroll is what it is
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 21:49, archived)
# *rumbled*
suggesting an amendment, are we?

also - imagine it being shouted out by a town cryer back in the olden daze - oi vey oy yay etc
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 21:53, archived)
# Fuck no! It was not a criticism, at all.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 21:56, archived)
# well the world seems a bit fukt right now so all suggestions are gratefully received
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 21:59, archived)
# “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.”
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 22:03, archived)
# cheers
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 22:42, archived)
# lol
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Sep 2022, 1:00, archived)
# Well that's a good excuse.
(I helped save b3ta! FeralCatMan Unusual disease collector., Sat 3 Sep 2022, 16:36, archived)
# But I quite like the poem
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 21:54, archived)
# Really?
Reminds me of the poetry I was taught at school, which put me off poetry for life. But then my English teachers were fucking terrible, so maybe that was why.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 22:53, archived)
#
there once was a porcupine of purgatory

a hedgehog once from hell

always dreaming of heaven

and wishing us all to be well
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 22:59, archived)
# Weirdly, the only reason I’m familiar with it is that one of the few teachers who had time for me, an English teacher, read it out to us.
He really relished the swearing, you could tell.
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Sep 2022, 0:59, archived)
# I've got "mobility problems" right now IYKWIM
By which I mean I've been dying for months and I won't be here next week
(The Porcupine From Purgatory Writtern By the Winners, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 22:51, archived)
# we'll have a whip round and mount a cheaply engraved brass plate on your favourite park bench if you like
(I helped save b3ta! artifus is doing it all wrong, Fri 2 Sep 2022, 22:55, archived)
# What about the week after?
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Sat 3 Sep 2022, 1:05, archived)
# :’O
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 3 Sep 2022, 2:36, archived)