What offends me?TV ads where people kiss babies' arses. A lot.
Jamie Oliver's idiot face gurning at me from every flat surface in the country.
Old people still having sex.
Old people taking ages to put their shopping away in front of me at the Tesco checkout.
(A combination of the previous two would be up there too.)
And photos of recently deceased/injured people like those at rotten.com (man blows head off with shotgun, man loses most of face in motorcycle accident, etc.)
(Jamie Oliver's idiot face gurning at me from every flat surface in the country.
Old people still having sex.
Old people taking ages to put their shopping away in front of me at the Tesco checkout.
(A combination of the previous two would be up there too.)
And photos of recently deceased/injured people like those at rotten.com (man blows head off with shotgun, man loses most of face in motorcycle accident, etc.)
CarlosTheJackal, protector of innocence, taker of liberties,
Tue 8 Jan 2002, 8:19,
archived)
CarlosAre you really me? You got the order right too. Except you missed out people who ring me up at tea-time trying to sell me crap.
( Wifey,
Tue 8 Jan 2002, 9:27,
archived)
TheWife: Me? You?Seems somewhat unlikely that I'm you. I'd have noticed, wouldn't I?
I have visions of the nation's pederasts all sat at home, watching three-hour videos filled entirely with 30-second baby-porn arse-fondle stomach-churn footage disguised as palatable TV just coz Hugh Sodding Laurie does the voice.
Um.
Time for a sit down, I think (perhaps with the ubiquitous nicecupoftea?).
(I have visions of the nation's pederasts all sat at home, watching three-hour videos filled entirely with 30-second baby-porn arse-fondle stomach-churn footage disguised as palatable TV just coz Hugh Sodding Laurie does the voice.
Um.
Time for a sit down, I think (perhaps with the ubiquitous nicecupoftea?).
CarlosTheJackal, protector of innocence, taker of liberties,
Tue 8 Jan 2002, 9:51,
archived)
Kissing babies bottoms is so wrongI havenever, ever kissed anywhere near my kids bottoms. Have you seen what comes out of them. Yeuch.
You are so right. And it is time for tea!
(You are so right. And it is time for tea!
Wifey,
Tue 8 Jan 2002, 9:59,
archived)