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# I sold out of salad creme the other day.
My treatment is being featured on The Wright Stuff.
(Dawn Syndrome, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:47, archived)
# Do you have any
treatments for eczema?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:48, archived)
# shave off your skin
...problem solved.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:50, archived)
# Yes.
You must soak bandages in a 50 percent solution of salad creme and onion water. Apply the bandages and put a pair of nylon tights over them. Sleep in them overnight and your eczma should be gone.

It works for cancer too.

(Dawn Syndrome, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:50, archived)
# Marvellous.
Won't I get fat with all that salad cream seeping in through my skin?
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:53, archived)
# Yes. But you must compromise.
Fat and scab-free, or thin and scabby.

The choice is yours.
(Dawn Syndrome, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:54, archived)
# I suppose my leggings
will stretch to fit them. I'm sure I'll look fab with my love handles flopping all over the place.
(I helped save b3ta! butchbint, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:57, archived)
# so what happened to poor Fat Paul?
(I helped save b3ta! thorpe www.voodootrombonequartet.com, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:57, archived)
# He's OK.
They have put him on a new drug. He dribbles much less now, but spends most of the day in front of the TV.
(Dawn Syndrome, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 13:00, archived)
# yeah!
He is your soul mate, face the facts and marry him.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr Drink, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 13:00, archived)
# I can't marry Fat Paul.
He is a flasher. Well, he used to. Now he's very quiet.
(Dawn Syndrome, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 13:01, archived)
# drinking lots of
alcohol helps
(I helped save b3ta! Terry Oblong There's nobody here but us chickens on, Mon 14 Jul 2003, 12:51, archived)