tw cuz nobodys on....The Octopus Joke
A man walks into a pub carrying his pet octopus with him. When he buys a drink the barman is naturally very surprised and comments that he cannot remember the last time there was an octopus in the pub.
'Ah,' says the man with the octopus, 'But this is no ordinary octopus.'
'Really,' says the barman, 'what's so special about it then?'
'This octopus is a musical genius,' says the octopus' owner, 'He can play any musical instrument you care to name brilliantly.'
'Bollocks,' said the barman.
'OK,' said the octopus' owner, 'I bet you one hundred pounds that you cannot find an instrument which he can't play superbly.'
'Done.'
As it happened there was a band in the pub that night so the barman goes over them and borrows an electric guitar. He gives it to the octopus and the octopus starts ripping away on it like the ghost of Brian Jones. Incredible virtuoso display of blues guitar.
'Bloody hell,' said the barman, and goes off to borrow a saxophone. The octopus plays this too like a true genius, the best jazz saxophone anyone had ever heard.
'Looks like you're going to owe me a hundred quid,' says the octopus' owner smugly.
But the barman was very cunning. He was Scottish and disappeared off into the back of the pub to find his bagpipes. he gave them to the octopus who perused them slightly, apparently puzzled.
'Hah,' cries the barman to the octopus owner, 'you owe me a hundred quid.'
Concerned the octopus owner goes up to the octopus and says, 'Come on what's the matter, aren't you going to play this thing - you could cost me a hundred quid.'
'No,' says the octopus, 'I'm not going to play it, I'm going to shag it once I work out how to get the cute tartan pyjamas off.'
(,
Sun 9 Nov 2003, 6:57,
archived)
A man walks into a pub carrying his pet octopus with him. When he buys a drink the barman is naturally very surprised and comments that he cannot remember the last time there was an octopus in the pub.
'Ah,' says the man with the octopus, 'But this is no ordinary octopus.'
'Really,' says the barman, 'what's so special about it then?'
'This octopus is a musical genius,' says the octopus' owner, 'He can play any musical instrument you care to name brilliantly.'
'Bollocks,' said the barman.
'OK,' said the octopus' owner, 'I bet you one hundred pounds that you cannot find an instrument which he can't play superbly.'
'Done.'
As it happened there was a band in the pub that night so the barman goes over them and borrows an electric guitar. He gives it to the octopus and the octopus starts ripping away on it like the ghost of Brian Jones. Incredible virtuoso display of blues guitar.
'Bloody hell,' said the barman, and goes off to borrow a saxophone. The octopus plays this too like a true genius, the best jazz saxophone anyone had ever heard.
'Looks like you're going to owe me a hundred quid,' says the octopus' owner smugly.
But the barman was very cunning. He was Scottish and disappeared off into the back of the pub to find his bagpipes. he gave them to the octopus who perused them slightly, apparently puzzled.
'Hah,' cries the barman to the octopus owner, 'you owe me a hundred quid.'
Concerned the octopus owner goes up to the octopus and says, 'Come on what's the matter, aren't you going to play this thing - you could cost me a hundred quid.'
'No,' says the octopus, 'I'm not going to play it, I'm going to shag it once I work out how to get the cute tartan pyjamas off.'
Excuse mebut can you please fix that post down below that fucks up the board.
It's not funny, it's just annoying
(It's not funny, it's just annoying
Pootle,
Sun 9 Nov 2003, 8:10,
archived)
