my worst flatmate ever,let's just call him 'Trevor', was my assistant manager at Pizza Hut. He was a couple of years older than me, but when his parents kicked him out of home, I told him he could have the spare bedroom at our place. We soon discovered that he was an alcoholic, (and a pothead (which we didn't mind so much)) and would drink a bottle of rum almost every day when he got home from work. We also discovered that he didn't own bed sheets, just a sleeping bag, which he NEVER washed. He lived there for a year, and it never got washed. To make matters worse, this is in Brisbane, Australia, where it gets REALLY HOT in summer. Even worse was that he was a compulsive masturbator and would do so, in the nude, in the sleeping bag...on the couch. He also had a nasty habit of vomiting back into the rum bottles when he'd finished drinking; as a science student I was constantly amazed at how neatly he could do this, what with the force generated by retching which was directed through a small hole into a closed space. He would often leave the bottles in the lounge room, on top of the television (i guess that's where he put them when he got up to change the porno tape that he was watching), which would heat up and stink out the house. Unfortunately, besides this he was a top bloke and we didn't have the heart to kick him out. We eventually convinced him to go to AA, and he's given up drinking now (i'm sure he's just replaced it with more masturbating) and I don't live with him, so all's well that ends well i guess.
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Thu 20 Nov 2003, 9:07,
archived)
mmmmhe sounds special.
vom and cum, what a beautiful combination.
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Thu 20 Nov 2003, 9:41,
archived)
vom and cum, what a beautiful combination.
you have no ideahow bad that sleeping bag smelt. The worst part was that the sleeping bag was really stiff, i assume because of all the dried cum...
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Thu 20 Nov 2003, 9:46,
archived)
stop it!I can imagine... I just really don't want to...
I had a flatmate once (briefly) called Clem. She moved in with us, realised she hated every single one of us (we were lovely really) and the area we lived in, then fucked off to Muswell Hill - but during her brief stay, she had a chap round to stay - think it was her mate's brother - who similarly used to masturbate on the couch into *her* sleeping bag. And that smelled bad enough, but it wasn't during an Australian summer.
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Thu 20 Nov 2003, 9:55,
archived)
I had a flatmate once (briefly) called Clem. She moved in with us, realised she hated every single one of us (we were lovely really) and the area we lived in, then fucked off to Muswell Hill - but during her brief stay, she had a chap round to stay - think it was her mate's brother - who similarly used to masturbate on the couch into *her* sleeping bag. And that smelled bad enough, but it wasn't during an Australian summer.
*blick*it's a bad idea to read this thread whilst eating a Mullerice. It's right put me off it.
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Thu 20 Nov 2003, 15:48,
archived)
My mate was...A Terrible flatmete in halls. He absolutely hated one of his flatemates becuase he kept on using his showergel and shampoo etc, so he started urinating into his own shampoo and just leaving it in the shower for his cunty flatmate to use. He said the trick was not to shake it to mix in the urine, but to gently turn the bottle upside down a few times. He also said he did the same with a bottle of brandy that his flatmate was stealing too. The cranberry.
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Thu 20 Nov 2003, 10:16,
archived)
*blick*it's a bad idea to read this thread whilst simultaneously drinking brandy and washing your hair. It's right put me off it.
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Thu 20 Nov 2003, 17:10,
archived)
ex-boyfriendan ex-boyfriend of mine claimed to do the same thing, only at parties when he decided that he didn't like the hosts. he was my roommate for a while since we lived together briefly, and would compulsively smell his finger after sticking it in his anus. i'm pretty sure he was full of crap on the urination in enemies' personal hygeine products, but he was still a real psychopath, that one...
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Thu 20 Nov 2003, 20:28,
archived)
piddlemaybe this makes ME the housemate from hell, I don't know...
I used to share with a couple of people, whose names are withheld, and you'll see why: a girl, and a foreign student fella, both of whom were 90% ok. (apart from the fella leaving the house overnight when I asked him for the £400 in council tax he owed me... another story.)
The girl decided that she'd quite like to move her new boyfriend in with us, into what was already a crowded house, and let him pay no rent, Council tax or share of bills, as he was having a spot of financial trouble.
He was, (un)fortunately, also a fastidiously clean gentleman, who would occupy the bathroom for upwards of 40 minutes each morning, preventing me from showering, brushing teeth, using the loo.
For 3 months I was late for work on account of this, unless I woke up extra early, and beat the fella to the bathroom. Naturally, I resented having to alter my routine to fit in with that of an uninvited guest. So....
I would ask him, whilst he was running his bath, if he'd mind stepping out of the bathroom so I could pee and clean teeth. Being a decent fella, he obliged. I would clean my teeth, and as a thank you note, pee in his oh-so-precious bath water.
Apparently it's rather good for the skin, but it ain't Calvin Klein bubble bath!
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Fri 21 Nov 2003, 10:07,
archived)
I used to share with a couple of people, whose names are withheld, and you'll see why: a girl, and a foreign student fella, both of whom were 90% ok. (apart from the fella leaving the house overnight when I asked him for the £400 in council tax he owed me... another story.)
The girl decided that she'd quite like to move her new boyfriend in with us, into what was already a crowded house, and let him pay no rent, Council tax or share of bills, as he was having a spot of financial trouble.
He was, (un)fortunately, also a fastidiously clean gentleman, who would occupy the bathroom for upwards of 40 minutes each morning, preventing me from showering, brushing teeth, using the loo.
For 3 months I was late for work on account of this, unless I woke up extra early, and beat the fella to the bathroom. Naturally, I resented having to alter my routine to fit in with that of an uninvited guest. So....
I would ask him, whilst he was running his bath, if he'd mind stepping out of the bathroom so I could pee and clean teeth. Being a decent fella, he obliged. I would clean my teeth, and as a thank you note, pee in his oh-so-precious bath water.
Apparently it's rather good for the skin, but it ain't Calvin Klein bubble bath!